Writing from bed at the end of the first night of the conference for my work. It was a pretty good night. I made it down to Virginia before the snow hit and now the whole area is blanketed with over six inches of brand new snow. Thankfully, we’re stuck at the hotel later today for training (8 hours), so I’m not going anywhere.
Tonight was pretty good. I got here early and found my boss (unlike last year), we hung out in his room as people came and went. Got a lot of female comments on my new look (lost a lot of weight, new glasses, new hair), so that’s really kind of cool. We went out for Mexican food for dinner and had cheese steaks (straight from Philly) for lunch. My god both were excellent.
Right now I’m kinda winding down. The stragglers were in my room playing Xbox for a while. I want to stay up late and play NHL 2003 (a friend left it in my room) so I know what the hell I’m doing. But then again I better go to sleep because our day starts at 8:30 am and they’re coming to get me early.
I don’t know. I’m always kind of lonely after gatherings like this. Even if i had a wife I couldn’t have brought her with me here, but there’s something incredibly disappointing about being with people all day and having to say goodnight. I’m longing for someone to share my life (let alone the bed tonight), and I feel so weird for admitting that.
When I’d go to wrestling in Philly years ago I’d have the same peaks and valleys emotionally like this. I’d get SO worked up to see my friends and have a good time that I’d be incredibly down on the way home because it had to end. I don’t want the night to end. I want that someone special to be with me NOW and tonight and to lie together and hold each other while we sleep. This single life sucks the way it is now.
I need someone more than I’ll ever admit. I don’t want to be alone tonight, but I will and that’s just kind of that. I’ll dream of someone special and maybe, just maybe, one day she’ll be here when I awake.
Off to bed.