The Air Conditioner Caper

A week after my last post and all is okay, not well by any means, but okay.

My dad never did make it upstairs. It was nice and cool. That was a blessing as we totally botched getting the air conditioner in. My mom refused to read the directions, my dad refused to help, and I discovered that I can destroy anything if I put my mind to it.

Last sunday three hour job was foiled because no one had a working drill to drill the holes and securing screws into the heavy wood window frame. We tried again on Monday morning at 6AM before my Mom, my sister & her kids were set to go to Niagara Falls for an overnight trip. Can this MORE of a setup for disaster?

I didn’t take my blood pressure pill yet so I could lift anything heavy (namely a 300 pound air conditioner), my mom still refused to read said instructions and the drill only worked part of the way. I had to get my dad’s 300 pounds to get said screw into the frame. He did it in such a way that it was completely warped and we had to pound it into the frame (and be nagged about that until the end of time). There was also a little point of the plug for the AC unit not fitting the outlet, but a quick call to an electrician would fix that.

Three hours later the thing is in the window and working. Well, for a time, it turns out that since someone refused to read the directions, we didn’t angle the thing so that water could flow OUT of it. Instead, water was flowing inside the house. When I went downstairs it looked like the Amityville Horror movie with stuff oozing out of the wall. Thankfully, someone had half a brain and turned off the AC before the outlet got soaked.

My mom left for Niagara Falls. That left my dad and myself all alone. Another call to the electrician went unanswered until the next day, leaving my dad to grumble for a good 24 hours. I mean, hes pissed. He spent Monday twisted up in the chair down there in anger. Tuesday comes and right before my dad was set to have a dentist appointment and/or a psychotic episode, the Electrician called and was on his way over. 10 minutes after he gets here, and after bending two frame supports, the AC works properly.

So what did we learn, kids? Read the directions. Follow the directions. Or better yet: HAVE A FREAKING ELECTRICIAN PUT IN YOUR 300 POUND AC UNITS.

End of rant.

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly. I’m getting used to having the kids here. Though I’m weaning them from reading my instant messages out loud because a) they’re private conversations and b) it’s really freaking annoying. I keep forgetting that they can read and was embarassed when I pulled up my kid-friendly mp3 list and a couple of the things weren’t quite kid friendly. “Uncle, what’s ‘Elmo Having Sex’ about? He’s a muppet!” Then I cursed that friend who used to send mp3s of everything and anything under the stars. Don’t worry, I saved them from Bugs Bunny farting and cursed that same friend again…

Oh, when in doubt, Warioware Inc. for gamecube is the BEST game in the world to hold the attention span of 7-10 year olds. With 5 second gameplay per game, it’s like the best thing I could have asked for. They will literally play that thing for hours and it never gets old. Thank god, I’ve needed it.

Meeting my newest nephew was pretty special. Xander is now 14 months old. We had a pretty immediate bond. I had to play with the other kids first while he watched then all of a sudden he’s my constant companion. He even dances when we sing “Xander Pants” to the Spider-Man theme. That’s pretty cool.

The update on my inheritance is that allegedly it will be here a week to two weeks from when I sent a release form back. I sent it back about a week ago. I really doubt that it’s going to be here any time soon. I need to start selling chunks of my life again on ebay until then.

As for today, the kids, my parents and my sister are in New York for an overnight trip, they’ll be back this afternoon. So yes, I’ve had the house to myself FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR. What did I do? Well, nothing unusual really. I’m not used to the quiet and I’m still doing things to keep the house in shape. Like taking the garbage out. You’d be amazed at how much garbage a woman and three kids can produce in a five minute period. We have four garbage cans filled to capacity and they’ve been gone 24 hours now and I’m STILL taking out garbage. I’m probably going to take a bath then go to the store later, and that’ll be the day.

Ah the life of a 30-something unemployed loser. Gotta love it.

They’re leaving Tuesday night, that’s going to be heart breaking. I won’t miss the messes, mind you, but yah, it’s going to be pretty hard.

On that note, off to start the non-eventful day.

k9