It's 17 degrees out on a Monday morning. Somewhere around 8:36 AM. We should have been on the road already for mystery shops but I think everyone has agreed that "F'n S* it's @#$@ing cold out" is hampering our efforts.

I'm trying to avoid another day of sitting here in front of my computer. Since ALL of my games and all of my stuff I need to do (like this site) are waiting for me on a hard drive that's waiting to go into the new system, I'm sorta stuck with finding things to do on this laptop to pass the time.

Saturday I reorganized my bookmarks. Yesterday I started seeing if they work.

5 or 6 years worth of bookmarks. It's actually quite a funny collection. While I can't share it, I do know that I probably have the world's biggest collection of female b-movie and tv star websites. I started looked them up a couple of years back for a friend who didn't have web access and only could get on once a week from another friend's house. They've sort of been sitting on my hard drive ever since.

I add some from time to time. Any time there's a movie with actors or actresses I like I look them up on IMDB and stick them in the folder. Honest to god, I have no idea who half these people are though so I'm sitting here wondering if my next project will be figuring out who these people are and why they were important enough to be in this directory.

I got so bored Saturday night that I went to classmates.com. WHAT A SCAM. Sure it lists everyone you went to school with but to contact them or to see their web pages it kept prompting me to "upgrade" my membership to a "gold" membership ($3 a month). Not that I'm cheap, but if I want to tell the guy that I beat up in 8th grade that I didn't think he was a dork and beat him up because he annoyed the hell out of me (we were best friends), I'd rather look him up on a free site and call him up rather than pay the extortion fee to get to the same point.

Know what would be sad?

E-mail:

"Dearest, Patty P, from 6th grade to 9th grade I had the biggest crush on you. I could never tell you because I was a scumbag geek and you were the preppy queen of the school. I just thought I'd tell you so I can bring some closure to my life. Best, James K."

Response:

"Who are you again? My wife don't type much but I'll tell her you had a crush on her. You want to take care of our 8 kids while we get some quality time if you know what I mean? Wanda Mae looks sorta like her when she was 14. You could relive old times you perv."

Some things are left in the past. I mean I like the concept of the site but extorting money to find out that your high school sweet heart turned into the lesbian stripper queen of San Diego just isn't right. Plus what do you say to these people if you do pay the $$$ to get through to them? "Hi Bruce M., You might not remember me but I thought you were a geek in Jr. High. You were pretty cool that one semester we sat next to each other in math glass. Good to see you've reproduced. Cheers!" and to say "Who were you?" in return do they also have to pay the extortion fees?

I think that's a new field we should go into. That's it, you, my last 3 readers, and I should start a web site that lists "people you wanted to have sex with but never got the nerve to approach." We could list all the towns in the U.S., all the major strip clubs, all the major porn sites, tv shows, any place you may have seen someone to develope an unrequited crush on. We'd have our listings by names that we'd like to be called followed by descriptions such as "that bald guy who works at the 7-11 on Maynard Street" or "the geeky kid with bad teeth and a plate in his head who used to urinate in his pants anytime they ran a microwave" so the sources of our unrequited love would have some clue to who we, err, our customers were before telling them to get lost.

This could be major! It would be "YoudontremembermebutIwantedtohavesexwithyou.com" and just think ... listing current and former TechTV people hmm ... we might be on to something! :)

Happy new year if I don't blog again today,

-- k9

4:05 PM

Home now. Gave up any chance of a New Year's Miracle as while we did see one UPS truck on the road this morning, it sure wasn't coming this way. Besides, the one web site still has my order listed as "pending" so god only knows when it'll have shipped. I called that place last week and they assured me it'd be here this week but they were backed up because of the holidays.

I have the Sun Bowl on. Well, it's at halftime and I'm just waking up from a nap. I'm really starting to hate college football. Even if it's a team I like (Washington State -- who were the "other" team to route for growing up in Washington State; the primary team being the Huskies), I don't know how ANYONE can get through all of these bowl games. There are 5 today alone and more the rest of the week. It's absolutely insane.

I've decided to add "peopleyouwantedtowhackwithahammerbutneverdid.com" to the list. Looking at Classmates.com again and one of the guys I went to high school comes off in his profile (that's one of the extortion services -- $3 a month to list a crappy profile), as almost the same level of braggart and jerk as he was when we went to school together. On the plus side, he's in the Bay Area so he's probably slept with his fair share of TechTV people.

I have a headache. I've flipped on the Travel channel's "Top 10 Shark Encounters" just to watch rich people with too much time on their hands "get in touch" with large animals who will probably eat them. Well that's the hope anyway.

"Mumsey, look at that!" "What's that dear?" "This large carniverous fish seems to have eaten my arm!" "Oh dear!"

I never have plans for New Year's Eve. I always have to work so I usually spend the final hours sneaking into an online game to talk to my best friend. This year, I don't know, I can't get in with my laptop (doesn't have a 3d graphics card), and I don't know her plans. It would be just fitting not to be able to spend time with her tonight. It's just wrapping up the month where everything that could go wrong did. :(

On an up note my mom's bringing home subway so hey, we're having my traditional meal -- junkfood and I'll have a spare sub for tomorrow morning when I'm pulling my hair out trying to get through the day with no mail.

Got TechTV on now. Noticed the last product review was sponsored by Radio Shack. Becky's also being billed as Rebecca. Andrew Hahn gave his top 3 products of the year: The Xbox, XP, and the AMD XP Chip. I can't diss him because I have an Xbox, my machine will have XP on it if I ever get it going again, and yes, it's powered by an AMD XP chip.

He's back now with the worst products of 2001. He's dissing XP's plus pack as an added bonus, which I can agree with. $40 for stuff that should have been in the sytem. But now he's dissing Bluetooth, if you don't know what that is, don't even bother. Just know it sucks. Now he's onto the cuecat. It's a catshaped barcode reader that sent you to the website of a barcode you scanned. It was actually free. But no one cared. Finally, the microsoft $160 picture viewer. It's a floppy drive with a video out. You put your pictures on a floppy to play on your TV. Becky's vicious and slamming it now. Got to love Becky. She's absolutely evil. :)

-- k9

• < Prev