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The Ring Report TV Update 1/23/96 Vol. 1, No. 152and153
("OUR DOUBLE SHOT ISSUE!")
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[NOTE FROM THE MADDOG: If you're not into extra large issues, stop
now and come back next week. This is our first ever DOUBLE SHOT
issue, combining two very special weeks of the Ring Report. We're
having double shots of just about everything, so again, if you're
not into huge things -- come back next week. -- The dumb guy in
charge of the Ring Report.]

WRESTLING NEWS AND COMMENTARY by DENNIS MILLER
[NOTE: These are rumors as reported by local hot-lines, on-line
wrestling boards and from talking to people in the wrestling
industry. As they are *rumors* and not *facts* we ask that you make
up your own mind as to their validity. Also note that rumors are
prone to changes from time to time so what you read here may have
changed by press time.]
WWF NEWS: ROYAL RUMBLE failed to live up to expectations in my
opinion with several subpar matches and a very boring battle royal .
. . GOLDUST'S new female valet is DUSTIN RHODES wife in real life
who previously worked in WCW as ALEXANDRIA YORK . . . Here are some
of the matches for the February 18 PPV" BRETT HART vs. DIESEL in a
cage for the WWF title, Razor Ramon vs. GoldDust for the
InterContinental title, THE BODYDONNAS vs. THE SMOKING GUNS for the
tag titles and SHAWN MICHAELS vs. OWEN HART . . . VADER has shoulder
surgery scheduled for later this week and will be out of
action for a while . . . SID is out of action for a while with a
neck injury . . . JAKE ROBERTS waste line seems to have expanded
slightly . . . Look for HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY to get a valet . . .
WCW NEWS:  ERIC BISHOFF is said to be seething over the WWF
skits about the Huckster and Nacho Man . . . Life's a b!tch ain't
Eric? . . . DAN SEVERN and RODDY PIPER have both had meeting with
WCW . . . Look for MEDUSA to attack SHERRI during the wedding
ceremony . . . Nitro scored it's biggest ratings victory over Raw
Last week, getting a 3.4 to Raw's 2.4 . . . RIC FLAIR is expected to
lose the WCW title soon, if he hasn't already lost it by the time
you read this . . . Look for the HH/SAVAGE feud to really heat up .
. . Look for FLYING BRIAN to be drummed out of THE HORSEMEN . . .
USWA NEWS: The USWA has seen attendance plummet at their
Memphis shows over the last few weeks . . .
OTHER NEWS: Antonio Inoki is planning a World Wrestling
Festival for either May 18 or 25 . . . He hopes to have several
promotions participating . . . It will take place in Los Angeles . .
.


BRET HART FEATURE STORY by DAVE STUBBS 1/11/96 ASSOCIATE SPORTS
EDITOR THE MONTREAL GAZETTE
[Reprinted with permission from Mr. Stubbs]
They wax nostalgic about the ghosts of the Montreal Forum - of
Georges Vézina and Howie Morenz and Jean Béliveau and the Punch
Line: Rocket and Elmer and Toe.
For seven decades the Forum has been the shrine of professional
hockey, but these ghosts in the flannel sacré share the rafters of
the grand old building with phantoms in tights and sequins and
calf-high leather boots.
Nature Boy Buddy Rogers is among them. So are Yvon Robert,
Wladek (Killer), Kowalski, Maurice (Mad Dog), Vachon and the
acrobatic Edouard Carpentier - a Flying Frenchman, indeed. They're
joined by Lou Thesz, Johnny Rougeau, Abdullah the Butcher . . . and
even the splendid Wrestling Rabbi, who sprinted from his dressing
room, felled his foe with a flying leg-scissors, pinned him one!
two! three! and immediately left town, forever.
So too has forever arrived for professional wrestling at the
Forum, and when they bring down the curtain for the final time
tomorrow night, how fitting it will be that standing in the ring
over centre ice for the main event will be Calgary's Bret (Hit Man),
Hart, a throwback in many ways to the glory days of the sport and
the most successful protégé of the legendary Stu Hart, Canada's
patriarch of the mat.
"It will be a big honor to take part in the final Forum show,"
says Hart, who will defend his World Wrestling Federation
championship against former champ Diesel within the confines of a
steel cage.
"Some of the new generation of wrestlers don't know much about
the old generation, and that's their loss. I grew up with them. I
can appreciate the history of wrestling, and the history of the
Forum."

* * *

Stu Hart began promoting professional wrestling in the 1940s,
barnstorming the Canadian West with Gene Kiniski, Whipper Billy
Watson and other stars of the era.
(The good old days, a sentimental Hart muses today: "Whip would
enter the ring and Gene would rush over and nail him before he even
got his robe off.")
While his wife, Helen, balanced the books of Big Time, then
Wildcat, and finally the Stampede Wrestling promotions, the
barrel-chested Hart, a former Canadian amateur wrestling champion
and Edmonton Eskimos centre, trained his rookies on a basement mat
in their Calgary home. The place became known as the Dungeon for the
pain Stu inflicted, accidentally and otherwise, on the courageous
and the cocky who flocked to his doorstep.
It was said that if you could survive the Dungeon, and Stu's
spine-bending "sugar hold" - a full-nelson applied while he sat on
your back and tried to introduce your earlobes to your shoulder
blades - you could make it anywhere. Hart's influence was felt far
and wide, in arenas if not in chiropractors' offices.
But if his students hold a grudge, they hid it well last month
in Calgary. Many gathered in tribute for "A Night to Remember," a
benefit show celebrating both their professor's 80th birthday and
his half-century in the business.
Bret Hart was born the eighth of Stu and Helen's 12 children
and by his mid-teens was consistently an amateur wrestling champion
of both city and province. Seven of eight Hart brothers paid their
Dungeon dues and have wrestled professionally; the four girls
married wrestlers. The baby of the family, Owen, is a terrific
athlete in his own right and is scheduled to challenge for the WWF
tag-team title at the Forum tomorrow.
"Calgary was the ethnic melting pot of wrestling," Bret Hart
said. "I saw so many different styles as I was growing up: Canadian,
French-Canadian, European, Japanese, Mexican. I got to know the
old-timers who my dad booked when they couldn't get work elsewhere,
and all the greenhorns of the day."
Hart studied for a year at Calgary's Mount Royal College of
Film before he surrendered to the inevitable and turned pro,
realizing his future was brighter on the other side of the camera.
"And I remember years later," he said, laughing, "walking into
dressing rooms and seeing Japanese wrestlers who had never even met
my dad - imitating him."
Now he is into his 13th year with the World Wrestling
Federation and enjoying his third title reign, a position earmarked
for the company's most popular, charismatic and marketable
properties. Twice he has been both the WWF's Intercontinental and
tag-team champion. Many sons ride the coattails of their fathers
into the ring, but in a business that eats it's young, Hart's
remarkable shelf life speaks more for his performance than his
pedigree.
The ride has been "more than I imagined," Hart says. "I'm proud
of what the company has done for me and of what I've done for them.
I think I've set a good example and I think I send a good,
important, strong message to kids."
But the grueling schedule and his traction-defying matches take
a toll that his 38-year-old body no longer can shrug off.
"I view each of my matches as a kind of unfolding artistic
drama, and I think they're more entertaining than anyone else's," he
says. "But I've paid for that. I wake up some days so sore I walk
like quasimodo."
Hart was home for a short break at New Year's with his wife and
children - four hearts are stitched on his tights, one for each
child - before he embarked last Friday on a 10-day tour that no time
soon will be featured in any vacation guide: ports of call would
include Uniondale, NY, New Haven, Conn., Albany, NY, Burlington,
Vt., Cornwall, Hull, Montreal, Bangor, Me., and Fitchburg, Mass.
Then he'll rest six days before headlining the Jan. 21 pay-per-view
Royal Rumble in Fresno, Calif.
En route, he would have additional media and
personal-appearance demands, and would write his weekly column for
the Calgary Sun, which he illustrates with his own cartoons.
"There's a bit more responsibility as champion," Hart admits,
not reluctantly seeing the hook on which he'll one day hang his
boots for good.      He won't long for work when he leaves the ring.
He's a keen student of acting and enthusiastically embraces his
semi-regular role as the gunslinger Luther Root on the CTV western
series Lonesome Dove.
"Let's face it," he says lightly, "when you wrestle in pink
underwear in front of 93,000 people, it's pretty easy to spend a few
minutes in front of a camera."
And when he's home, he tries not to miss a game of the Western
Hockey League's Calgary Hitmen, his namesake major-junior hockey
club co-owned with two NHL friends, Theo Fleury of the Calgary
Flames and Joe Sakic of the Colorado Avalanche.

*  *  *

Sometime around 10 o'clock tomorrow night, a WWF crew will
erect a 15-foot-high tubular-steel cage around the Forum ring. Hart
and Diesel will climb inside, and when the bell rings, the first man
out onto the boards covering the ice, through the closed door or
over the top, will win the match.
The near-seven-foot, 300-plus-pound Diesel, as tough as
high-school algebra, wants the belt that Hart stripped him of two
months ago. He dwarfs Hart by about a foot and outweighs him by
maybe 70 pounds, but then, one of the truisms in wrestling is that
in a steel cage all men are created equal.
"I've always had a special relationship with fans in Montreal,"
Hart says. "When I was a bad guy, they really hated me. What better
compliment can you be paid?
"But later on they treated me like a hero, better than anywhere
else in Canada, including my home town. I don't forget that."
So in the final main event on the ultimate professional
wrestling card in the historic Forum, it's only fitting that Bret
Hart, Dungeon graduate, will have home-ice advantage.
And then he will take his place at the side of the Nature Boy,
Mad Dog, Killer and the Rabbi, whose ghosts will be in the wings
when the bell rings for the last time.

NATIONAL WRESTLING CONFERENCE RETURNS by ED HANECAK
NWC President TC Martin is proud to announce the return of the
NWC to Las Vegas on March 2nd, 1996 at Arizona Charlie's Hotel &
Casino.
After a 5 month hiatus, the wrestling fans of Las Vegas are
ready to see action personified, action that only the NWC can bring.
Ticket information will be announced next week on America On Line,
along with details on all 8 action packed bouts.
When the NWC says "The future is bright, and expect the
unexpected", you can guarantee that is exactly what will happen. The
NWC'S "Battle of Champions" on March 2nd will feature 2 wrestlers
who have NEVER faced each other before, and the winner will walk
away with the NWC Heavyweight Title. In the Main Event on March 2nd
. . . .

NWC Heavyweight Champion
SABU
will face
ECW World Heavyweight Champion
THE SANDMAN

The Sandman has signed on with the NWC, and will come to Las
Vegas on March 2nd to take the NWC beyond the EXTREME. Also making
his NWC debut . . .

TOO COLD SCORPIO
will face
JIM "THE ANVIL" NEIDHART

A big thanks goes out to all the fans of the NWC. Without you,
we wouldn't be here. Look for upcoming information concerning the
official NWC World Wide Web page, and special live events just for
the fans of the Ring Report!

WWE YEAR END REVIEW by MICHAEL MOTLEY 12/31/95 and 1/7/95
WHAT YOU MISSED: 1995 YEAR END REVIEW SHOW JOURNEYS OF THE
HEAVYWEIGHT AND TV TITLE . . . HIGHLIGHTS FROM DEVLON BLANCHARD'S
FEUD WITH DOUG MCCOY . . . JOURNEYS OF THE TAG TITLES . . . LOOK AT
SPECIAL HIGHLIGHTS AND FEUDS FROM 1995 . . . MOSTLY SHOW IS
HIGHLIGHTS . . .
WHAT YOU MISSED: THIS SHOW HAS A RING GIRL WHO WORKS WITH THE
GROUP AND IS FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE BUT THIS SHOW AND THE NEXT SHE WEARS
A BASEBALL HAT AND COAT THAT MAKES HER LOOK LIKE A NERD.
ANNOUNCEMENT THAT ACKBAR HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY SUSPENDED (MIGHT BE A
BIG MISTAKE ON THEIR PART): FLAMIN RAYMOND AND BERNARD FUNK
INTERVIEW . . . LEOPARD MAN vs. IAN ST. JAMES (PINS IAN WITH A
PATHETIC ELBOW FROM THE TOP) . . . CHAOS vs. KRAZY CARL (KARL IS
MAYHEM SO IT'S A  BATTLE BETWEEN TAG PARTNERS) . . . RAGIN CAJUN vs.
RED EAGLE: RED EAGLE INTERVIEW . . . MAYHEM vs. SHANE CORTEZ:
ANNIHILATOR AND CANNONBALL vs. DANNY DAY AND ERIC AWESOME . . . SHOW
FEATURED THE RETURN AFTER LENGTHY ABSENCES OF RAGIN CAJUN AND ERIC
AWESOME . . .

CWUSA 1-7-95 TV SHOW SUMMARY by MARK CARLTON
Announcer: Dutch Savage(17 Time PNW Champion)

Col. DeBeers & Buddy Wayne vs. Oly Olsen & Bart Sawyer: Lots of
action as everyone works hard even though some of the moves were not
perfectly executed. Sawyer pins Wayne after a Lucha style reverse
head scissors flip(I don't know Lucha moves). Wayne had just kicked
DeBeers by mistake. In the process, Ref. Dale Wire spots a chain
hanging out of Oly Olsen's pocket and disqualifies Olsen & Sawyer
then suspends Olsen for a week.

Interview with Wayne & DeBeers: The Colonel & Wayne are overjoyed
with their victory and Olsen's suspension. Wayne tells Sawyer to
find a new partner and meet them next week.

Dutch: Where did you guys get the chain?

Bruiser Brian vs. Lou Andrews: Andrews wins by pinning Bruiser with
his feet on the ropes. This seemed to be the way that Slick Ric
Flair always won in Portland when Sandy Barr was the incompetent
referee. The mutants go nuts and the referee reverses his decision.
This infuriates Andrews who gets a chair and hits Bruiser in back
(.1 ECW), knocks down the ref. and bashes Bruiser over the head with
another chairshot (.2 ECW). To finish Bruiser, Andrews piledrives
him into the chair. As Andrews leaves the ring, he grabs the house
mic and yells "Who's the man!?".

- Haven't I heard this somewhere before? -:)

Interview with Jesse Barr: Barr is on crutches and claims he tore
cartilage in his knee wrestling with Ryuma Go in Korea a few days
before while defending the CWIA Tag Championship.

Billy Jack and Jimmy Snuka arrive and Haynes want's to know what
happened. Barr claims a doctor advised him if he wrestles, he will
never wrestle again. Haynes asks the fans who scream LIAR. Barr then
claims that Billy Jack bad mouthed Snuka last week when Snuka was
stuck in a snow storm in Chicago and couldn't make it to wonderful
Vancover. According to Barr, Billy Jack referred to Snuka as a
"Yellow Dog" for not showing up.

- Somehow Snuka believes Barr but not his buddies Billy Jack and
Dutch.      This is what happens when you spend too many years in
the WWF. -:)

Barr pushes Billy Jack and hits Snuka with one of the crutches.
Snuka, in his infinite wisdom, thinks the Billy Jack hit him and
attacks Haynes and drags him to the ring.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Jimmy Snuka: Snuka has the early advantage.
Billy Jack recovers and throws Snuka over the top rope(No top rope
rule in CWUSA, I guess). Barr stands at ringside laughing at Haynes
who is pounding on Snuka. Barr then rolls into the ring and hits
Haynes with his crutches and Ref. Dale Wire stops the match. Snuka
grabs the crutch and bashes Haynes and Dale Wire repeatedly then
uses the crutch on other wrestlers trying to stop the action. No one
can control Snuka. Dutch Savage is going nuts. Snuka lays out Bart
Sawyer Buddy Wayne, Bruiser Brian and a few others.

Interview with Billy Jack Haynes: His heart is broken since Billy
and Jimmy are blood brothers from 14 years ago at the Portland
Sports Arena (Ah, the good old days). "Jimmy Snuka, I'm gonna fight
ya. I love ya but this it pro-wrasslin!".

Interview with Superfly Snuka: "I'm confused and don't know what's
going on. Billy Jack, we go back a long ways. Whatever happens is
meant to happen. Billy Jack, get in shape and get ready."

Next Week: Billy Jack vs. Jimmy Snuka    

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING TV 1/9/96 by ED HANECAK
WHAT YOU MISSED: The show opened with highlights of the year
long feud involving RAVEN & TOMMY DREAMER . . . from Queens, NY, TAZ
soundly defeated FMW's KOJI NAKAGAWA with the Tazmission . . . Lance
Wright hyped the 1/26 show in Jim Thorpe, PA, the return of the
HEADHUNTERS on the 1/27 show at the ECW Arena, the 2/3 show in
Queens, NY, and the liquidation of all STEVE AUSTIN T-shirts for
only $12.95 . . . the extreme rookie, EL PUERTO RICANO (formally
UBAS), fought BRUISER MASTINO (formally MANTAUR). Mastino won after
catching Ricano off the top rope, and power slamming him. Mastino
delivered two more power slams, and was then soundly chokeslamed by
911. BILL ALFONZO then ran in, and was attacked by TOD GORDON, who
then was attacked by TAZ. 911 stepped in and tried to chokeslam
Alfonzo, but Taz broke it up. Mastino attacked 911, and received
chokeslam #2. Taz and 911 then had a staredown in the ring, which
resulted in the everyone coming out from the locker room to break it
up, which resulted in 911 giving JT SMITH a chokeslam . . .
afterwards, STEVIE RICHARDS and the BLUE MEANIE (who were joined by
DW DUDLEY and SIGN GUY DUDLEY), start dancing in the ring, which
starts a "We want Buh Buh" chant. BIG DICK DUDLEY brings out BUH BUH
RAY DUDLEY who danced much better than the Meanie. Richards and Buh
Buh Ray argue in the ring before fading to commercial . . . Tommy
Dreamer came out to wrestle Raven, and was told by Steve Richards
that Raven injured his leg, and he would have to fight the Blue
Meanie instead. Meanie attacked and was then DDT'd and pinned by
Dreamer. Richards then attacked and was DDT'd and pinned by Dreamer.
BEULAH then attacked and almost received a pile driver until Raven
came out and hit Dreamer with the metal steps from ringside. This
match went all over the arena, and even spilled outside of the arena
at one point. Raven and Dreamer both bled heavily and used assorted
weapons throughout the match. Raven gained the advantage and held
Dreamer as Beulah tried to spray hair spray in his eyes. Dreamer
ducks and Raven gets sprayed. During his blindness, Raven
accidentally grabs Steve Richards and delivers the DDT. The match
continued until Dreamer accidentally hit the ref. with a chair.
Richards and The Blue Meanie attack Dreamer, giving Raven enough
time to set up and hit Dreamer with the DDT on the chair. Raven gets
the win . . . an ECW interview montage (including the return of
SHANE DOUGLAS), finished the show . . .

This week's show-4 stars!!!

WCW NITRO 01/08/96 by SCOTT HIBBS
WHAT YOU MISSED: CHRIS BENOIT beat ALEX WRIGHT with a dragon
suplex.
This match wasn't going to happen but because of Rocco Rock was
stuck up north . . . EDDIE GUERRERO over LORD STEVEN REGAL with some
kind of rollup . . . MEAN GENE interviewed LEX LUGER and STING and
all three were bad . . . STING beat DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE with a (what
else!) Scorpion Deathlock. Is it just me, or is Sting on EVERY
single Nitro? Oh well, it's a lot better than Hogan! . . . "THE
NATURE BOY" RIC FLAIR and ARN ANDERSON beat MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE
and THAT HH GUY when Ric Flair made Hulk Hogan submit with the
figure four. Hogan was CRYING from the pain. After the match, Hulk
Hogan announced his retirement. FINALLY! . . . NEXT WEEK: I'm not
really sure, but PUBLIC ENEMY takes on AMERICAN MALES and THAT HH
GUY (okay I  lied, SO SUE ME!), vs. MENG . . .!

NORTH AMERICAN ALL STAR WRESTLING 1/13/95 by WILLIAM BRIAN TRAMEL
The show was only 30 minutes this week again?? But, they did a good
job to push for this Monday night's (1/15), Jonesboro card. Colorado
Kid is scheduled to defend the North American Title vs. Bonecrusher
Lewis. They did a good job pushing Lewis as a big bad wrestler that
could take the title from Kid. A bout was featured with Lewis vs.
Scott Sandlin (I believe from 12/95), from Evansville. Lewis a big
guy who moves pretty good. Kid did an interview that wasn't that
bad, but Kid still needs improvement.

Two other bouts pushed for Monday night have Loser Must Leave Town:
Samantha Sheppard (using her real last name now, since her divorce
from Bull. Her real name is Donna.), vs. Debbie T Wild. I look for
Sam to win this as she has been close to the promotion. I've also
reported and heard that Debbie is getting new gimmick? Bill Dundee
will try to get revenge (for Bert Prentice), vs. Gator McAllister in
the only other bout announced.

RAMBLES: Sources say that former USWA manager Brandon Baxter is
close to signing with NAASW . . . Also coming in are former USWA TT
champs - The War Machines . . . Bert did a nice segment at the start
of the program with him reading fan mail. He told the Colorado Kid's
real name - Mike Raputa. He also said that they had NA TT champs at
one time (Golden & Pain), but after they split (Pain to Dallas &
Golden injured), they were going to have do a tournament again . . .
Also possible that a TV Champ will be crowned soon . . . Plans are
almost final for a TV taping here in my home of Steele, MO
on March 2. He even mentioned my name on the TV!! . . . Bert
Prentice also told me to say "Thanks" to all the people here on the
Net. He has been getting a real big response for tapes &
merchandise. He will get to you ASAP.

WWF ACTION ZONE 1/14/96 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: OWEN HART got a win over HENRY GODWIN who
angrily slopped JAMES E. CORNETTE after the match . . . A look at
THE RINGMASTER accepting the "Million Dollar Championship" on Monday
Night Raw last week . . . JIM ROSS discussed the top contenders for
the upcoming Royal Rumble PPV . . . THE SMOKING GUNNS will take on
THE BODY DONNAS for the WWF Tag Team Titles at the RR . . . GOLDUST
disposed of BARRY HORROWITZ and proceeded to reveal a tattoo on his
chest of a heart with "Razor" written on it . . . Some more footage
from the SHAWN MICHAELS press conference . . . This week MR. PERFECT
showed us his "perfection" at throwing darts . . . A segment of
SUNNY in her dressing room after co-hosting last week's show calling
TOD PETTENGILL simply "pathetic" . . . Things ended with another
skit from Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin Warroom . . .

WCW MAIN EVENT 1/14/96 KEVIN SABOL
WHAT YOU MISSED: Highlights of FLAIR, SAVAGE from SN . . .
CRAIG
PITTMAN beat FRANKIE LANCASTER with and armbar submission . . .
Interview
with MIKE DITKA . . . CLASH update . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE beat a
jobber
with the Diamond Cutter . . . THE AMERICAN MALES beat THE STUD
STABLE by DQ
. . . CHRIS BENIOT and BRIAN PILLMAN be THE HARLEM HEAT by DQ . . .
!

CWUSA 1-14-96 TV SHOW SUMMARY by MARK CARLTON
Announcer: Dutch Savage(17 Time PNW Champion)

Bart Sawyer & Sumito vs. Buddy Wayne & Col. DeBeers: Some high spots
by Wayne and Sawyer. After about 5 minutes of action, DeBeers pulls
a chain out of his pocket and takes a drop-kick from  Sumito who
gets hold of the chain. Before Sumito can hit DeBeers with the
chain, Wayne drop-kicks him into the arms of DeBeers, who pins him.

Interview with Bart Sawyer: Bart is mad at Referee Dale Wire. Oly
Olsen is serving his one week suspension and will be back next week.
The next time they meet DeBeers & Wayne, Bart is going to fight with
fire.

Lou Andrews vs. Bruiser Brian Cox: The finish occurs when Andrews
goes for a splash off the top turnbuckle but Bruiser shakes the
ropes and Andrews gets crotched. Bruiser goes for the pin and thinks
he got a three count and argues with the ref. Andrews school-boys
him from behind into a small package (while holding his tights), and
gets the win.

Interview with Lou Andrews: "I didn't have a hold of the tights. I
don't cheat and am the most honest man in professional wrestling."

Dutch: "We'll be right back with more honest opinions."

- During this interview, I bumped the record button on the remote
and   dubbed over a few seconds. Talk about a bumbling journalist! I
knew I shouldn't have had those 3 shots of Tequila -:)

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Jimmy Snuka: Haynes gets on the house mike and
says he doesn't want to fight Snuka. He asks the fans if he did
anything wrong. Billy says he doesn't want the match. Sandy Barr
comes to ringside. Billy Jack wants a match with Jesse Barr. To
Snuka, "I love you like my own flesh and blood".

Snuka and Haynes face off and Snuka slaps Haynes and tosses the
referee out of the ring. Snuka maintains the advantage with several
headbutts. Haynes is busted wide open! Snuka continues to work on
Haynes outside and inside the ring. Dutch is going nuts as Haynes
continues to take a  beating. After about 10 minutes, Haynes is
bloody mess, laid out in the center of the ring. Snuka leaves him
laying there and heads to the interview area.

Interview with Jimmy Snuka: To Dutch: "Don't talk to me right now!"
in a psycho, hoarse tone.

"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me! What ever goes on, like
I said, when somebody says something, who's business is it? It's
yours, not mine. Do you know the truth, Dutchman?"

Dutch: "I know the truth."

Snuka: "I don't know the truth. All you people out there in TV land,
we need to clean your brains"

- This psycho act by Snuka is pretty good. He makes no sense at all.

Interview with Billy Jack: Hayes is initially speechless, then says,
"I've had 4000 matches all over the world. Dutch, you and Jimmy
Snuka broke me into this business. Jimmy and I took a blood oath 15
years ago. This feud is PERSONAL now! Sandy Barr, FRONT AND CENTER!
I didn't want to fight but it's different now.

Sandy, give me anything goes match with Jimmy Snuka next week. I'm
gonna kick his @ss from here to Tokyo and back. Sign the contract
and(to the fans), be here next week."

Sandy Barr: "Since you didn't want to wrestle tonight, I'll give you
a  match with Jimmy Snuka next week but you have to provide a $2500
bond that you forfeit if you won't wrestle(like tonight)"

Haynes: "I'll give you a $10,000 bond. Jimmy, you think, I'm playing
games? I'm gonna hurt you next week or you're gonna hurt me forever.
One of us, is not going to be wrestling after next week"

Next week: Billy Jack vs. Jimmy Snuka

Also on 1-28, 20 wrestlers from around the world are going to vie
for the
CWIA(Championship Wrestling International Alliance), Title in a
tournament.

WCW NITRO 01/15/96 by SCOTT HIBBS
WHAT YOU MISSED: LEX LUGER defeated MACHO MAN with the Torture
Rack 
. . .MEAN GENE interviewed 4 Horsemen and the Dungeon of Doom. ARN
ANDERSON slapped BRIAN PILLMAN . . . PUBLIC ENEMY beat AMERICAN
MALES when JOHNNY GRUNGE pinned one of the MALES with a rollup. Then
there was a double table shot . . . RIC FLAIR pinned STING after
Luger (accidentally?), hit Sting. Then there was an interview with
THAT HH GUY, THAT MM GUY, and STING. Is it just me or is Sting on
every Nitro? Oh well, it's a lot better than Hogan! No wait, he's on
every Nitro too! . . . HULK HOGAN beat MENG. Actually I didn't watch
this match, but come on, we know that it happened! . . . NEXT WEEK:
RIC FLAIR vs. THAT MM GUY for the WCW World Title, LEX LUGER & STING
vs. HARLEM HEAT, and THAT HH GUY vs. ONE MAN GANG for the US Title .
. .!

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 1/16/96 by ED HANECAK
WHAT YOU MISSED: "Oh my God, it's the Franchise!". BILL ALFONZO
opened the show, once again interrupting Joey Styles during the
opening announcements at the "House Party 96" show from
Philadelphia. After several minutes of Alfonzo screaming at him,
Styles finally snapped and had a heated exchange with him in the
ring. TAZ stormed the ring and told Styles not to ever disrespect
Alfonzo or he would "bust him up". 911 comes out to make the save,
and gets slapped several times by Alfonzo. TOD GORDON comes out and
jumps Alfonzo. Taz grabs Gordon, which leads to a 911/Taz staredown.
Gordon, Alfonzo, and the locker room come out to break it up, which
leads to a "Bad Crew sucks!" chant. 911 leaves the ring and EL
PUERTO RICANO ends up alone with Alfonzo and Taz. Ricano gets
Taz-plexed, and Joey Styles jumped back in the ring to beg Taz to
back off. Taz then attacks Styles, which leads to 911 jumping back
in the ring. THE ELIMINATORS jump in and clip 911, setting up the
first match of the night, 911 & REY MISTERIO JR. vs. THE ELIMINATORS
. . . 911 was down for most of this match, as Misterio hit SATURN &
KRONOS with several amazing highspots. Taz comes back during the
match to choke out 911 with a towel. After several minutes, 911
finally gets back in the ring and hits Saturn with a suplex!!!
Eliminators continue to dominate, as 911 got caught with Total
Elimination (for the 2nd time!!!). Misterio revives 911 and then
climbs on his shoulders, challenging the Eliminators to a chicken
fight. Misterio leaps off of 911 and hits THE HUDA KURADA (?), to
get the pin. The post match brawl followed with Misterio getting hit
with Total Elimination. THE PIT BULLS run in to make the save as
FRANCINE attacks JASON at ringside. The Eliminators then grab
Francine and give her Total Elimination!!! Francine was taken out on
a stretcher . . . ECW returns to the Flagstaff on 1/26 with MR.
HUGHES vs. THE SANDMAN, CACTUS & MIKEY vs. THE DUDLEY BOYS, SABU vs.
JIMMY DEL RAY, and TOMMY DREAMER & The Pit Bulls vs. 2 COLD SCORPIO
& The Eliminators . . . At the ECW Arena on 1/27, RAVEN vs. THE
SANDMAN, The Pit Bulls vs. THE GANGSTAS (No DQ), TOO COLD SCORPIO
vs. JIMMY DEL RAY, MIKEY & CACTUS vs. TOMMY DREAMER & a partner of
his choice, Sabu, THE HEADHUNTERS, ROB VAN DAM, BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY,
Taz, The Eliminators, Mr. Hughes, and the return of SHANE DOUGLAS to
the ring . . . Joey Styles announces that House Party 96 is now
available on ECW Home Video . . . Jimmy Del Ray, accompanied by
DAMIAN KANE, and Mr. Hughes took on Buh Buh Ray Dudley. Del Ray
attacked Buh Buh as he was trying to say his name, but ended up with
the loss by pinfall. Mr. Hughes calls out the guy who can help Buh
Buh talk, Shane Douglas!!! "I said there are a lot of things that
need to be fixed around here, and they start tonight, because, the
Franchise is back!!!" . . . MIKEY WHIPWRECK defended his TV Title
against 2 Cold Scorpio. 2 Cold dominated the match, but couldn't get
the pin until Raven jumped in and hit Mikey with a DDT. Scorpio gets
the pin and becomes 4 time TV Champion . . . Joey Styles interviews
STUDLEY STEVIE RICHARDS (along with THE BLUE MEANIE & BEULAH), in
the ring. During the interview, Richards tried several times to kiss
Beulah, but she said she "didn't want to be touched". Stevie
persisted until Beulah screamed out "I'm pregnant". Raven comes out
to belittle Beulah, until she says "What do you care, it's not
yours". At this point Raven, thinking it was Richards child, starts
pounding on him, until she says "It's not his either . . . it's
Tommy's". Dreamer comes out and cleans house, beating on Richards,
Meanie, and hitting Raven with a sign given to him by SIGN GUY (it
was really a stop sign). Beulah and Dreamer leave hand in hand. The
show ends with Beulah laying in bed, telling Tommy she wants to
"feel his pain".

This week's show-4 3/4 stars!!!

NORTH AMERICAN ALL STAR WRESTLING 1/20/96 by WILLIAM BRIAN TRAMEL
The TV was shown in the afternoon due to a telethon, but the 60
minute show had the first 20 minutes cut, because of a Mississippi
State vs. Arkansas basketball game. When the show came on they were
showing the Rip Rogers vs. Colorado Kid match (from Evansville),
again that they have shown three times now.

Next up was clips of older matches featuring Kid vs. Cactus Jack;
The Spiders; and The Giant vs. Kid. Announcer Bert Prentice made one
mention of a "reunion" card on 2/5/96 in Jonesboro. This will mark
their 1-year anniversary of being on TV, so I'm assuming they are
going to do a big card, which might see the return of the Spiders &
Jack. I was lost because I missed the first 20 minutes!!

They had a Kid interview promoting the card Monday night. Kid will
defend his North American Title vs. the returning Terry Golden. They
are selling this as Golden's last chance at the belt and that he is
returning from an injury. If he loses, then he will have to start at
the end of the championship ladder. Well, that's what Bert said.
Good to see the return of Golden.

RAMBLES: They also aired a Brickhouse Brown vs. Bill Dundee bout
that was taped last month. They didn't show the finish. Same last
week as they had a Kid vs. McAllister bout, but no finish. I hate
that . . . Colorado Kid is recording a 5 song tape that will
available to everyone in February. Look in the TRADING POST for the
address. Cost will be $10 . . . Debbie T Wild lost the loser leave
town bout . . . Debbie Combs will be coming in to defend the Ladies
World Title this month . . . I hate it that Spellbinder and Baxter
have decided to stay with USWA. They could have been a good addition
to this crew and the USWA doesn't need them . . . Only other bout
announced for Monday was Reggie B Fine vs. The Giant Warrior. I also
think they are having a Battle Royal . . . Hated seeing The Spiders
do a job to The Smoking Gunns on RAW last week. They are a real
underrated tag team.

EASTERN SHORES WRESTLING 1/21/96 Deer Park Community Center, NY by
BRETT "CACTUSB" SCHWAN

Not the best card in the world, but certainly not the worst.

1. Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/Sign Guy & DW vs. Cousin Luke: Buh Buh
entered the ring to a few chants of "Buh, Buh, Buh" (mostly by me
and Ron). Buh Buh even danced when Mikey Whipwreck, Paul Lauria, and
Stormin Norman started a "Dance Buh Buh Dance!" chant. Buh Buh wins
by countout.

2. Mad Mike Mayhem w/JD Nasty v Primo Canera III: Mayhem left the
ring and returned with Warlord, Primo followed suit and returned
with Tommy Cairo. Horrible match with two huge men who can't
wrestle. Ref. calls it a draw.

3. Dangerous Devon Storm v Tommy Cairo: Storm controlled most of the
match. Primo came out to help Cairo. Storm missed with a chair
moonsault, Cairo hit with a moonsault and made the pin. After the
match, Primo attacked Cairo.

4. Taz v Shark Attack Kid: Taz came out and asked me where I got my
ECW shirt and laughed. Taz took a few bumps but came out on top.

5. Rocky Shore w/ Samurai Machine v Italian Sensation: This was for
the vacated lightweight title. Sensation wins with a neckbreaker..
Nuff said.

6. Adam Bomb vs. Warlord: Warlord and Bomb go back and forth for
most of the match. Bomb reverses Warlords whip to the ropes. Warlord
hits the chair his manager is holding and Bomb rolls him up for the
pin.

Overall, the show was ok. Dudleys and Taz were the highlights for
me.

USWA Report 1/21/96 by KATHRYN D LIZENBY
Wow!! Sometimes in the USWA, more can happen in one half an
hour than happens in most organizations in weeks or months. Two
titles changed hands in that time but several very good matches.                                        
Match 1: Tommy Rich and Doug Gilbert (Tag title Holders) vs. PG
13 - This was a very good match. Rich wasn't in this match too much,
but Dougie carried through most of the match. Wolfie took on Doug in
the opening parts, does some nice arm hooks and face punches. JC is
tagged in and Doug
does a standing headlock on JC, but JC retaliates with a hip toss.
Doug who now is on the outside punches Wolfie. Doug hits Rich by
mistake after Wolfie ducks. Then PG do a double bulldog on Doug.
Rich then holds Wolfie while Doug climbs up on the ropes, pulls out
a chain, and instead of nailing Wolfie with the chain, he hits Rich.
Wolfie pins Rich, and PG-13 are the new tag team champs. Whoa, this
is really a great match.                                    
Match 2: Battle Royal with the winner getting a title shot
against Jerry Lawler. The participants are PG-13, Wolfie and JC,
Brian Christopher, Tony Meyer, Ron Davis, Charlie Laird, TD Steele,
and Yellow Jacket, Rock and Roll Express, Robert Gibson and Ricky
Morton, Koko B. Ware, Tex Slazenger, Tommy Rich, Doug Gilbert, Jesse
James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers, I think this is all of them.
Tommy Rich wins the battle royal.                                    
Brandon Baxter talks about Randy Hales and when the WWF, or as
he put it, that other organization calls Randy for references, he
won't give Brandon a good reference because he hates him for it.                                       
Match 3: Tommy Rich vs. Jerry Lawler in a USWA Heavyweight
Title bout. On this one, the crowd yelling in the background sounds
totally divided. Some are yelling for Lawler and some are yelling
for Rich. Gilbert comes out and nails Lawler with a chain unknown to
Rich who then pins Lawler for the win. Tommy Rich is the USWA Champ.         
Next is Memphis footage where PG-13 is suppose to take on Rock
and Roll Express. As PG-13 come to the ring, they are attacked by
Rich and Gilbert. JC takes some bad chair shots to the leg and back,
and Rich just keeps nailing JC'S leg with the chair. After Rich and
Gilbert leave, Brian      
Christopher comes out and tells Wolfie that he will be his partner.
Actually these two looked pretty good together, but they loose
because Koko comes out and interferes. JC comes out with the save,
but is limping on his leg. Rich and Gilbert come out and continue to
nail jc's leg, until Gilbert gets bored, I guess, and decides to
take scissors to Wolfie's head. I had to close my eyes, he kept
nailing Wolfie in the head with scissors until blood was everywhere.
Lawler and Tex Slazenger come out with the save. Next there is
an interview with Tommy Rich and Doug Gilbert, Tommy is saying he is
the only person to ever shave Lawler's head, so it's no wonder that
he beat Lawler for the USWA title. Doug is saying that there is only
one friend he has
and that one friend is Tommy Rich. With these two attacking PG-13
there is a definite face turn for these two, and I might add that
this was done Brilliantly, because the only way two very popular
wrestlers can change is to attack the other very popular team.                                   
Next were highlights from the Louisville Gardens where Brandon
Baxter and Randy Hales were taking each other on. Lady Satan was
with Baxter and both were attacking Hales. Randy does a great
Bulldog, and Randy pins Baxter. But Satan interferes and Baxter and
Satan whip Randy Hales with a
belt repeatedly. Miss Texas comes out with the save.     
Match 4: 6 man tag Match with TD Steele, Charlie Laird and Ron
Davis vs. Rock and Roll Express with Andrea, and Koko B. Ware. Rock
and Roll Express handle this very well.                            
Match 5: Jesse James Armstrong vs. Brian Christopher This is a
great match just because both men are such great workers. Armstrong
kept yelling and telling the ref. that Brian Christopher was pulling
his hair. Of course he was, but the ref. didn't see it. So Finally
Brian got mad because Armstrong was gripping about pulling his hair,
so he grabbed him by the head of the hair and slammed him to the
mat. Brian then Bulldogs him and pins him for the win. Koko comes
out and attacks Brian and he and Armstrong handcuff Brian to the
ring ropes and beat, and I mean beat him with a
belt. PG-13 come out with the save, and Brian is really angry.                                                   

Matches for the Louisville Gardens                         
1. Border Patrol vs. Cory Williams and Kentucky Kid (I have only
heard of Cory Williams, the others I don't know):     
2. Jesse James Armstrong vs. Pat Tanaka                   
3. Tracy Smothers vs. Spell Binder                        
4. Scott Bowden vs. Miss Texas                          
5. Brandon Baxter vs. Randy Hales                         
6. USWA Title Match - Tommy Rich vs. Brian Christopher    
7. 12 Man Tag match with $2,500 to the winner - They did not list
the participants                                  
8. Boys in the Hood Street Fight - USWA Tag titles at stake when
PG-13 take on Tommy Rich and Doug Gilbert           

The current title holders are as follows:                
Tommy Rich - USWA Heavyweight Champ                        
Jeff Jarrett - Unified Title Holder                        
PG-13 - Tag Team title holders                          

Again, our pleasure, and thanks for reading.      

MMWA Block Party '96: The Return of the TaskMaster - 1/20/96 by JODY
COOPER
History was made on Saturday, January 20, 1996. Why?

"He's Baaaaaack!"

Yes, "The Sexiest MoMutant on Earth" Travis "Taskmaster Jr." Cook
has returned after a long drought and Tonight's card was the best
MMWA card
that we've been to so far!

Our day started a little late because Travis had a meeting to attend
which didn't end until 1:00. At 2:00, Travis and "Bad Boy" Steve
Black arrived at my humble abode and we had to make a couple of
stops before traveling to Kingdom City to meet up with "Psycho" Mike
Rogers and "Dapper" Danny Porter. Doug Edgar was the only MoMutant
not in attendance. The first stop was an ATM from my bank, but the
four words "Temporarily Out of Service" put an end to that one. I
did have enough cash for the time being. We stopped at the local
Circuit City so I can pick up some VHS tapes. Mike was going to run
off some various wrestling tapes for me and I wanted one to tape the
Royal Rumble. I found a 4-pack of Sony VHS tapes and stood in line
for ten minutes before I was helped. The idiotic cashier also
decided that a person who cut in line was to be helped before me. I
shouted "Excuse me!" and she asked "Are you ready?" My response was
"I've been waiting here for ten minutes and that person cut the
line. If I don't get helped, I will see the manager and talk to him
about getting some people fired!" Believe me, I can be a
salesperson's worst nightmare when I want to. I finished purchasing
the tapes and we were then off to Kingdom City.

I told Mike that we would meet him at 3:00, but it was 2:50 before
we got on I-70 and it's a 20 minute drive from Columbia to Kingdom
City. We arrived at our usual meeting place, but Mike and Danny
didn't arrive yet, so we decided to waste some quarters on the video
games that they had. Mike and Danny finally arrived at 3:30 and we
were off. During the trip, Mike had a Torch and a Chatterbox with
him so we had some reading material. We also swapped the latest news
and tidbits that we knew about. We were also contemplating attending
the In Your House PPV in Omaha, Nebraska since it's only a five hour
drive from Columbia.

The trip normally takes us about 60-90 minutes, but due to the snow
and slush that was on the roads, it took us a little over two hours
to arrive at Hooters in St. Louis. When we arrived, David "F*ck the
Police!" Chapman was already there and we were joined by his friends
Rob Levy, Christie Dudley (don't start), and John Hake. We had to
wait about 10 minutes before we were seated. Our waitress, who did
have some nice Hooters, arrived and we bought our $10 sandwiches. I
ordered the "Ultimate Ham and Cheese," but she brought me a Philly
Cheese Steak instead. Automatic gratuity deduction in my book. If I
wanted a Philly Cheese Steak, I would've ordered one. After eating,
it was time to go to the MMWA Arena (AKA South Broadway Athletic
Club).

We arrived at 7:10 (bell time was 8:00), and we were met by Bill
Linn. Brad The Mark was unable to attend. (Darn!), We had some seats
reserved for us, but they weren't front row. We got second row seats
behind MMWA Champ Danny Boy's parents. Ohhh boy! The Lance
Russell-wannabe ring announcer said that due to the weather, they
would start a little later to give people time. Attending tonight
were an Adolf Hitler look-a-like, Dave's special friend from the
November card, "Baron Von Drunk F*ck," and some other drunk rowdy
guy who would play a nice part in MoMutant storytelling after the
card. We have dubbed him, "Poontang Boy" (more in this later).
Speaking of which (the card, not the poontang), let's get to it!

"THE HUMAN WRECKING BALL" PETE MADDEN (w/Magic Man), vs. ROCK 'N
ROLL KID We weren't expecting much with this one, but we were
surprised. We've always like Madden since he was able to work very
well with others. Rock 'n Roll kid was never that great, but
tonight, he carried that match and performed VERY VERY well.  He
did a good Tiger Drop as well. Madden pulled of a great moonsault
too. The match ended as a DCO when both men started
brawling outside of the ring. D@mn good match! ***

THE LUMBERJACK vs. FRANKIE D. What were they thinking? Take two of
the worst workers and put them in a match together. This match was
pathetic. During the match, we were yelling "You f*cked up!" when
spots were blown or the ever popular, "go for the cover, but pull
them up" routine. The ring announcer then put his hand over the
microphone and yelled at us "Hey! You quit talking like that! There
are kids present!" Sure Pops. Tell that to the KIDS behind us who
were yelling stuff worse than we were. The match ended (thank god!),
when Frankie D. pinned Lumberjack with his feet on the ropes.
Lumberjack complained, but the ref. did the usual "I didn't see it!"
bit. A fan from the audience even got in on the act. At this point,
we re-worded "The Freaks Come Out at Night" to "The Marks Come Out
at Night." DUD

CRAZY MAX vs. JASON REEVES. He used to be Lunatic Max, but I guess
he was nice to some people. This was a grudge rematch from the last
card and was billed as an "Anything Goes" match. I guess this was to
keep the hardcore fans happy. I don't see how since the place is
filled with marks. Max brought out a garbage can with a bamboo
stick, and various other items. This was your basic "brawling"
match. Both men juiced too (low on the Muta). The stick was used as
was a cookie tray. They were setting up an obvious ref. bump, but
they screwed it up twice and when they finally did it, it was the
worst one I've ever seen. The Howard Finkel look-a-like ref. came
out and counted the pin after Reeves did the Leg Drop of Death on
Max, but the other ref. said "No, Reeves hit me and is DQ'd for it!"
Max wins. *

MR. BIBBS vs. RAGIN CAJUN. This was dubbed the "MMWA Interactive
Match." Who needs to call a stinking 900 number when we picked the
spots in a match for free. Also, at least the match wasn't taped 4
months ago either. Cajun earned our respect at the last card and he
earned a lot more tonight. Bibbs was drunk as a skunk (7.3 on the
Tommy Rich Scale). He staggered to the ring and I think Cajun didn't
know what to do with him. The match started and after a few moves,
Cajun had Bibbs and looked over at us. We yelled "Powerbomb!" He did
a great one. We then yelled "Chokeslam!" He got up looked at us
again and nodded. What goes up, must come down! Excellent chokeslam!
Cajun also did some good superkicks as well. Not bad for a guy his
size. After that, the match went downhill, but we can only blame
Bibbs. Cajun wins with a top turnbuckle splash. Afterwards, we
yelled "You da man!" to him and he came by and shook our hands.
Cajun is learning and learning well. I hope a lot more comes from
him. It's also not often that the fans in the crowd get to call the
spots. **1/2

THE GAMBLER (w/Magic Man), vs. JOHNNY JETT. We were starting to lose
interest in the Gambler and tonight was the last straw. He used to
work the matches very well, but this one (and the last one at the
last card) were so bad, that we don't care anymore. Another pathetic
match up. However, it looks as if they are starting an angle for a
Gambler face turn (And their was much rejoicing (yay!)). During the
match, Magic Man kept distracting the ref. when Gambler was going
for a cover. After a few of these, Gambler got up to talk to the
ref., Johnny rolled him up with a schoolboy for the pin. *

Now it was time for the "WRESTLE ROYAL." This match was announced,
at the last card, as a battle royal with Rumble rules. However, this
was just a "normal" 15-man battle royal which only lasted seven
minutes. I'll list the participants in the order in which they were
eliminated. I make no promises that this list is accurate.

MR. BIBBS, TY DALTON, TONY HALL, GAMBLER, MAGIC MAN, FRANKIE D.,
DRILL INSTRUCTOR, TOM SULLIVAN, GIANT ASSASSIN, PETE MADDEN, RAGIN
CAJUN, LUMBERJACK, ROCK 'N' ROLL KID, COWBOY BOB (who was also a
ref. at Tonight's card), and the winner JOHNNY JETT. DUD

TY DALTON vs. "THE FUGITIVE" TONY HALL. As far as I know, this is
Hall's first card and it was understandable why they put him in a
match with Dalton. When Hall was introduced, Travis and myself
started singing "Bow wow wow yippe-yo yippe-yay!" and doing the
Cabbage Patch. Dalton is the best worker in the promotion. Hall is
also a good worker too. Both guys put on a great show. Lots of mat
wrestling and some quick combinations. However, both men went out of
the ring when Hall hit a Cactus Jack-like over the top rope
clothesline and were counted out. **1/2 (would've been a ***, but
this was the second DCO match of the night. Sheesh!)

NINJA (w/Magic Man), vs. DRILL INSTRUCTOR. Ninja was Pete Madden
under a mask. During the match, we yelled "Don't ask, don't tell!"
at D.I. Magic Man came to our corner and said that D.I. "tried out
for the WWF because he was *that* bad." Steve yelled back "he tried
out for GoldDust!" Magic Man started to laugh, but really lost it
when Travis added "That's what they mean by 'don't ask, don't tell!"
He was laughing so hard that he had to put his face down on the mat
to cover it up. His reaction was priceless and I wouldn't be
surprised if he asks us for some "heat advice."  D.I. eventually
wins with a reverse DDT. El-Lame-O Match-O-Rama! 1/2*

GIANT ASSASSIN vs. TOM SULLIVAN. GA was doing his usual showboating
with the crowd and during that time, the bell was rung. After both
men got in the ring, the ref. called for the bell, but the ring
announcer said that he already rang it. GA then looked at the ref.
and asked "Has the bell rung?" and looked at the ring announcer. The
ring announcer told GA that he already rang it and that he should
listen. GA yelled "Don't give me any sh!t old man!" The ring
announcer started to get a chair and act like he could fight him.
Yeah, right. Watch your pacemaker there! "The marks come out at
night . . . "

Travis does a dead-on impression of King Curtis Iaukea's "Master."
It was now time for the return of the TaskMaster, Jr. During the
match, we hear "Sullivan! My illegitimate son! I have found a
warrior to complete the Dungeon of Doom! From the jungles of
Kentucky! I give to you . . . HILLBILLY JIM!" We lost it. Then to
top it off, "SULLIVAN! My dumb-@ss son! I am tired of doing this!
From now on, I'm going to be with your wife Nancy! If you need me,
I'll be in Philly!"

Oh, Tom Sullivan gets the pin after a somewhat decent match when
Magic Man hits Assassin by mistake with his magic wand. We also had
an unnecessary run-in by Drill Instructor. Oh joy! **

DANNY BOY (MMWA Champ), vs. GHETTO GRUBS. What the h3ll? This was
supposed to be a match between Danny Boy and Keith Smith, but Smith
no-showed. Danny Boy didn't take our advice from last time to wear a
cup either. It seems to be getting common place for the MMWA that
the last match of the night be the worst. Grubs had an international
object with him and used it on Danny Boy's throat. The end came when
Danny Boy got the object and knocked Grubs out. The way Danny Boy
works the crowd, he would make an excellent heel. DUD.

After the matches we hung around hoping to talk with Magic Man.
Harry White, the "Commish" talked to us afterwards and said that
"Cajun" had a ball with us calling the spots during his match.

We also met up with Tony Hall. Tony is the only African American
with the promotion. I hope they do more with him rather than make
him a "token black" employee. We said that he put on a good show and
he said "Thanks a lot!." We asked if he was going to be on the next
card and he said that he was. He seemed to be a bit shy, but he was
still nice guy. I guess he wanted to get his money and leave.

We made it back to ringside, the aforementioned drunk came up to
Harry White and said that "I don't want to mention any names, but
there were these guys in front of us who were making some very
derogatory remarks about women by using the words 'poontang' and
'hair pie.'" We had a laugh mainly because there couldn't be anyone
in front of him since he was sitting in the front row.

As we were leaving, Pete Madden came out and I did a "PETE!" chant
while doing the "we're not worthy" motions. Madden came up to us and
said "Ah, it's the ECW contingent!" We laughed and complimented him.
He said that he wanted to "Frankensteiner someone onto some thumb
tacks man!" I laughed and added, "Don't forget to set them on fire."
He said that there were some other cards in the area that most of
the MMWA wrestlers were going to be putting on at different
locations and that we should be there. We told him that we would and
that he put on a good show. He said "Thanks." He couldn't talk long,
but we found out that he is an ECW fan and that he also plays in a
band in St. Louis. Dave Chapman works for a band promotion company
and mentioned that Pete should get in touch with him.

Not a bad night. This was probably the best card from MMWA that we
attended. The place was almost filled to capacity, so word is
getting around about this organization. We also found out there are
some other indie promotions in the Hannibal area that some of the
MMWA guys work.

Next MMWA card is Saturday, February 17th. Yes, it's the same
weekend as the Con, but myself, Steve, and Travis can't attend the
con due to financial constraints, so we'll be there [insert Sally
Struthers reference here].

Also, if anyone is planning on attending the April 28, "In Your
House" in Omaha, NE, let us know. The MoMutants plan on invading and
make "Da Big Time!"

WWF ROYAL RUMBLE by CHRIS YETMAN
The Royal Rumble is consistently mentioned when you ask people
what their favorite Pay Per View is. The reason for this being that
the Royal Rumble is a consistently good PPV event. I will have to
say up front right now that this years was no exception. With the
WWF's new found talent and new found respect for the balance in
wrestling and gimmicks this comes as no surprise to me.
A new innovation this year was the WWF Free for All in which to
men drawing blank numbers would wrestle to determine number 1 and
number 30. This seemed like a decent idea to get an angle going. But
to our dismay Hunter Hearst Helmsly had to wrestle Duke the Dumpster
Droese in the match. The match itself was not bad for a match
involving The Dumpster. The end came when HHH nailed Duke with
Knuckles and made the cover. Gorilla Monsoon then came out and
reversed the decision making HHH number 1 and Droese number 30. The
rest of the event was interviews and lead-ups. Vader did an
interview in which we found out that Cornette would be his manager,
which I think is a great idea. Jake Roberts also gave an interview
and it turns out if he were to come back he would be a face. It was
a good 1/2 preview show all in all.
Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett - In this match Ahmed Johnson
really impressed me. He executed some surprising moves such as a
nice plancha and a cannonball. I did not expect much from this match
but the end result was decent. JJ got a hold of his guitar climbed
to the top rope and came down smashing it over Ahmed's head. JJ was
DQ'd. The only downfall to it was that Ahmed sold the move like a
cartoon character and not a wrestler.
WWF Tag Team Championship Match : The Smoking Gunns vs. The
Bodydonnas - Skip and Zip really work well together as a tag team.
Throughout the entire match Sunny was making sexual advances towards
the Gunns. At one point she even hiked up her skirt which was to the
advantage of ... every man watching at home. She also did a spot
where she pretended that one of the Gunns knocked her off the ring
apron and they went to her aide. At one point the Bd'd went for a
double suplex on Billy and in mid-plex Bart tackled Skip and moments
later Zip was pinned. I was surprised The Bodydonnas did not win
this match. The Gunns will never go over with the fan's like the WWF
want's the to, so they might as well give it to a talented heel
team. I also think Candido ha snot been given the respect that he
deserves in the WWF.
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Razor Ramon vs.
GoldDust - Am I wrong to like this gimmick? GoldDust I feel now has
the best entrance in wrestling. Dustin's real life wife is now his
valet she plays a director or a leading lady type gimmick. She does
this very effectively. Actually I am surprised she hasn't worked
since the "York Foundation" she is one of the more charismatic
female valets. With GoldDust as usual was also the usher. The
beginning of the match was mostly GoldDust touching himself. At one
point early in the match GoldDust went for a go behind successfully
and he proceeded to feel Razor up and down. Another point Razor
slapped him in the face and then on his ass and GoldDust acted as if
he liked it. The gimmick was kept through out the match and it was
for heat. The crowd response to this match was exceptional. The
match itself as far as wrestling goes was also good. Razor did all
of his trademarks with the exception of the razor's Edge. GoldDust
also had some good mat wrestling techniques like multiple kick-outs
of head scissors and a few nears falls. Razor had GoldDust down and
his wife got in the ring and acted like she twisted her ankle. While
the ref. helped her out The 123 Kid came out of the crowd climbed to
the top rope and plastered Razor with a flying roundhouse kick.
GoldDust got the pin and became champion. Not a bad match IMO with a
lot of good heat and a good gimmick integrated with good wrestling.
WWF Royal Rumble - This is always one of the best matches of
the year. WWf proves that they don't need 3 rings filled 85% of the
way with talentless slugs to have a good match (I guess the irony
was that WW3 sucked). HHH was, as we know, number one and HOG was
number 2. So HHH not only lost to a disgrace but he also had to
wrestle another one. Bob Backlund was next and so on and so forth.
You probably have read post listing the wrestlers with elimination
and arrival info but I don't have that much time. Interesting
happening include Jake Roberts, after getting a huge pop clears the
ring with a HUGE snake and makes it climb all over Jerry Lawler, who
himself hid under the ring for quite a bit. Vader cleaned house and
dominated fairly well, he and Yoko went at it a couple of times
until the were both eliminated by Shawn Michaels at the same time,
which was impressive. Vader got P!ssed and cleaned out eliminating
everyone until Monsoon stopped him, the men he eliminated were
allowed back in though. When the 123 Kid came down Razor also
entered and chased him around for about 2 minutes. A surprising not
was that McMahon acknowledged Dory Funk Jr. as a former NWA
Champion. Eddie Gilbert was also acknowledged when Doug came out.
Vince did call The Ring Master Steve Austin several times. The last
3 guys in the ring were Michaels, Diesel, and Kama. Immediately
after Michaels eliminated the 26th guy Diesel threw Kama out then
instantaneously Shawn superkicked and eliminated Diesel. Shawn was
your winner. Diesel looked pissed and attacked the Bulldog on his
way back. He then went back to the ring stared down Shawn and gave
him a high five. Shawn danced around and Diesel remained at
ringside...
WWF Heavyweight Championship Match : Bret Hart vs. The
Undertaker - During the Undertakers entrance he crossed Diesel's
path in the aisle. Diesel shoved Bearer and then him and the
Undertaker exchanged a few punches. The ref. separated them. The
match itself was one of UT's better matches. It showed that he could
work a match of decent length. It was fairly see-saw with the only
restholds coming at the very beginning. I was fairly impressed at
the match. Bret did tear the UT's mask of it seemed as if his face
was only slightly damaged. Bret went for a high cross body UT caught
him and put him in the tomb stone. Undertaker got a 2 count as a
result of Diesel interfering and dragging the ref. out. Undertaker
won by DQ. Diesel, with a smug look on his face, then extended his
arm and the middle finger. Getting quite a reaction.
The PPV was fairly good. There were too many screw-job ending
but the event was full of interesting things and good wrestling. I
have to say that the WWf keeps it's policy of quality at the Royal
Rumble, with the exception of '94.

MONDAY NITRO AT CAESAR'S PALACE 1/22/95 by ED HANECAK
"OH MY GOD, ITS WOMAN!!!". WCW returned to Caesar's Palace in
Las Vegas for a two-day stand, featuring Nitro on Monday, and the
Clash of the Champions on Tuesday. Tonight, it's Nitro, and I wasn't
really looking forward to it. The lineup on paper didn't look too
promising, but it was better than anything I had seen live in the
past six months, so we're off to Caesar's.
My buddy Jay drove in from San Diego to catch the shows, and we
spent most of the day working on our signs (I regret only one of
them made it on TV, but at least it said SABU). Little did we know
we would be spotted by Chief of Security Doug Dillinger. I only have
one (ok, maybe two), comments to make concerning our incident with
security. Although they were somewhat polite with us, I don't
understand what is wrong with a "Wild Thing Sucks" sign. If anyone
with WCW would care to explain this, I would be most interested in
hearing a rebuttal from them. On the positive side, they did agree
to give back my "Mega Maharishi Rules" sign after they reviewed it
with whoever makes those kinds of decisions. For more on the Mega
Maharishi, pick up some Portland wrestling tapes from 1985. What a
gimmick!!!
We arrived at the arena at 4:30 and suddenly found out that the
lady who sold us the tickets totally screwed up and put us on the
floor, and not in the bleachers. This ended up not being a problem
as we found three empty spaces in the bleachers and began preparing
our sign barrage for America. To make a long story short, we ended
up being two rows too high, and quite honestly, the kid in the front
row of the bleachers stole the show. Rewind your tapes and watch
this kid. He is brilliant!!! Tomorrow I think I'll try and get an
exclusive interview with him.
5:30 PM and we hear there will be four dark matches; two at the
beginning and two at the end of the show. (TPE TPE TPE PLEEZE).
Match #1-JOHNNY B BADD vs. THE GIANT . . . This was the
quickest match I have ever seen. The match lasted four seconds with
The Giant hitting the chokeslam. It didn't appear as though Johnny's
TV Title was on the line.
5:33 PM-CHRIS BENOIT vs. EDDY GUERRERO-Heaven, pure bliss . . .
.I never dreamed this would ever be a dark match. Both wrestlers had
some good moves throughout, but we saw no Benoit powerbomb, no frog
Splash from Eddy, and a screwjob ending when BRIAN PILLMAN stormed
the ring (even though it appeared that Benoit could have covered
Guerrero at that point anyway). Eddy received some major league
welts on his chest, and I believe it did bleed a little. I met him
in the parking lot after the match, and he was real courteous to me
and my friends. I hope he gets a title match real soon.
6 PM Showtime! RANDY SAVAGE vs. . . . ..OH MY GOD IT'S
WOMAN!!!! Jay and I were in shock. 5 or 6 women were walking with
Savage to ringside, but one of them was without a doubt, Woman.
Being there live, if you didn't already know who she was, you would
never have figured it out. RIC FLAIR came out to face Savage in the
match. Flair received the biggest pop of the night, next to THAT HH
GUY, who of course had to somehow involve himself in this match.
Hogan keeps the Horsemen at bay as Savage hits the elbow and wins
his 4th World Title. This sets up a possible Hogan/Savage match
tomorrow at the Clash, although it was not officially announced.
DEAN MALENKO vs. BRIAN PILLMAN-Brian is starting to reminding
me of Alex from the movie "A Clockwork Orange", cane and everything.
It was at this point Chief of Security Doug Dillinger sends his
goons upon us, so I missed most of this match. Pillman wins by
pinfall.
HARLEM HEAT vs. LEX LUGER & STING for the WCW TAG TITLES-In
person, this match was a snoozer. Lex didn't wrestle once, and his
only move was a clinched fist (with a roll of dollar coins). Sting &
Luger win the Title, but expect fallout from this finish, as I don't
expect this to sit kindly with Sting, especially since Jimmy Hart
was the one who gave Luger the roll. Harlem Heat got a "Play the
Slots" chant from us after the match.
THAT HH GUY vs. US CHAMP ONE MAN GANG-This was a non-title
match, since THAT HH GUY hasn't held anything but a World title in
over ten years. Hogan wins in typical fashion. Hogan and Savage then
fight off the ENTIRE Dungeon of Doom AND the 4 Horsemen. STOP THE
INSANITY AND DO THE JOB JUST ONCE!!!
Dark Match #3-DISCO INFERNO vs. DAS
WUNDERIMNOTOLDENOUGHTOGAMBLE-Wright wins by pinfall
Dark Match #4-BUCKHOUSE BUCK & DICK SLATER vs. THE BLUE
BLOODS-I had to leave before this match started. My apology to both
teams.
Well, having finished this article, I think about tomorrow . .
. Public Enemy, Psicosis, Konnan, The Road Warriors, Eddy, Dean,
Elizabeth, Woman (?), and Brian Pillman all on the same show. This
could be THE card to propel WCW past WWF after the disappointing
Royal Rumble PPV on Sunday. I wish WCW the best of luck. I really
hope this is as good as it looks. Now, I'm off to begin working on
my next batch of Mega Maharishi signs. ;)

WRESTLING PREDICTIONS By THE RUMBLER
1. Shawn Michaels will win the royal rumble, eliminating Jake
Roberts, Big Van Vader, or Diesel to win the rumble. This should be
the best rumble ever with Funk Jr., Roberts, Vader, Amouri, Gilbert
(I would have rather seen Brian Christopher, Tracey Smothers, or
Brad Armstrong, but you can't win them all), Michaels, and more
superstars.

2. Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett-Look for Ahmed's major push to
continue as he beats Jarrett in a match that sees several chair
shots and lot's of outside of the ring brawling. This will be the
end of the Ahmed/Jarrett feud. Ahmed will go onto feud with Big Van
Vader (YES!!!).

3. The Body Donnas vs. The Smoking Gunns-Rumors state that one of
the Gunns wants to leave and the other doesn't. It was originally to
be Kid/Sid vs. Gunns, but I look for The Body Donnas to win the tag
titles, and fend off challenges from Barry Horowitz & Hakushi and
Rad Radford and an unnamed partner. They will beat The Gunns as well
at subsequent house shows. Look for them to LOSE the belts to
Horowitz & Hakushi for a day or two at a house show, to get house
show sales back up.

4. Razor Ramon vs. GoldDust-This will be a great match! Not great
wrestling, but great hype, heat, etc. This could be RR 95 all over
again, as the usher may interfere to cost Ramon the title, like
Roadie did in 95. This probably won't happen though. GoldDust will
likely win the title, giving him better matches, and better angles.
Ramon will probably not want to get in the ring with him again, and
their feud will end by WrestleMania at the latest. IF Ramon keeps
the belt, Hunter Hearst Helmsley may win the belt from him at a
house show.(Gee I'm into these house show title changes). All
probability points to Dust taking the belt and feuding with Ahmed
Johnson in a queer (poor choice of adjective), feud.

5. Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker-If they wanted Taker to get the
belt, Hart wouldn't have won at Survivor Series. Hart will keep on a
screwjob, since this is a face vs. face title match. Diesel will
interfere setting up a triangle feud for RAW OR it could become
Hart/Undertaker vs. Michaels/Diesel. Hart will face Michaels in a
classic at 12, and the HB Kid will finally get his much deserved
World Title.

More Predictions/Rumors for 1996: After SM wins the title at WM12,
Curt Hennig will feud with him over the title after Michaels beats
Hart at KOTR or an IYH. Michaels vs. Hennig will be an outstanding
main event of  SummerSlam . . . Look for Sunny to leave The Body
Donnas after they lose the tag belts, she will manage Helmsley . . .
Jake Roberts has been rumored to be involved in the Shawn Michaels
Syracuse attack angle that Vince is planning. If not Jake it will be
Jannetty. IMO this is a pretty lame angle as we really don't care
about it anymore. It got old right after the press conference was
over. Had the WWF had Michaels say he was injured and could never
wrestle again, it would have been a good angle . . . ECW will remain
the number one promotion among hardcores, but get more bad raps from
fans who think they are cool, and try to do stupid things in crowds
of people. ECW will vastly expand it's TV market in 1996, as well as
it's house show market. Look for ECW monthly in Queens (it is now as
far as I understand), and a possible return to Florida, as well as
some ECW stars may tour Japan. This may be under the ECW banner, or
they could possibly work for another federation like IWA (who they
have some connections with), and FMW (same goes for this too) . . .
Body Donna Sunny may be on hand for the NWA Eddie Gilbert memorial
show in New Jersey. Main event for that will be spectacular as Al
Snow faces NWA Champion Dan Severn. Also, many former SMW/and
current USWA stars will appear besides the Eastern Indy locals.
Jerry Lawler will be on hand as well as Doug & Tommy Gilbert, and
Tracey Smothers . . . Bob Armstrong may try to start a new Tennessee
promotion with former SMW stars. Jim Cornette probably will not be
part of this promotion though . . . Jeff Jarrett's reign as Unified
Champ of the USWA may soon come to an end as Brian Christopher may
finally win a Unified Title. Jerry Lawler holds the SMW Title belt
(which he won from Brad Armstrong). What I don't get is how the USWA
can call Armstrong the champion when  Tommy Rich was the last SMW
Champion. Look for the USWA/SMW angles to slowly decrease as talent
from former SMW goes to WWF/WCW or other Indies . . . That's it. Be
back in a week or two with more news and info. E-Mail me at
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING .

THE RIGHT VIEW by Jim Sondergeld
This is the slow time of year in pro wrestling, as fresh angles
gestate to be later realized in the spring. This is especially true
in WCW, which concluded most, if not all, of theirs at Starrcade
'95. But there are still some interesting things going on.

* * *

Brian Pillman seconded Chris Benoit in his Nitro match against Das
Chippendale Alex Wright. I was looking for Pillman to interfere
blunderingly and cost Benoit the victory, but the "Crippler"
eventually prevailed with, ironically enough, a German suplex. Steve
McMicheal, belying the football commentary that won him an Emmy,
mindlessly declared Benoit's win to have been "tainted" by outside
interference, which it clearly was not. It makes one wonder if Mike
Ditka really is coming to WCW, and if he would be an improvement or
an even worse lout. The announcement is supposed to come this
Saturday.

Gee, I can't wait; can you?

* * *

The "AOL wrestling fans" can keep Shawn Michaels; for my money,
Eddie Guerrero is the hottest performer in professional wrestling
today. He put on another stellar match last night in his win over
Steve Regal. The bout had tremendous action, both back & forth and
non-stop, and there was genuine suspense as to the outcome. WCW
should give him a huge push, and give him at least the TV belt by
the summer; he's earned it.

For that matter, it's about time that a new angle was dreamed up for
Johnny B. Badd, who has been coasting since he took the TV title
from Dallas Page at Halloween Havoc. Chris Benoit would be an
outstanding candidate, unless the rumors of his impending firing by
WCW are true.

Given the track record of most of these rumors, I wouldn't hold my
breath.

* * *

Sting submissioned Dallas Page in a closer than expected match. On
two different occasions Page administered neckbreakers without
following up with his "diamond-cutter"; by such minutia is the
"winner" of such matches typically intuited.

What was more intriguing (and I use that term deliberately), was
Sting's earlier interview with Lex Luger, who was confronted with
film footage from Starrcade of how he had grabbed Sting's arm at the
end of the Triangle Match and prevented him from beating the
ten-count back into the ring. Luger claimed that his knee was
injured and he was reaching out to Sting for a lift back to his
feet. True or false? And more to the point, who cares?

I'll be very disappointed if WCW turns Luger full-bore heel. As I've
written before, I don't see why Luger can't be allied with Sting and
still feud with Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and even the Horsemen, for
that matter. This angle of endlessly speculating about Luger's
"hidden agenda" is becoming wearisome.

* * *

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage defeated Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. No
surprise there, of course, but there were some other notable
developments from the encounter.

Hogan, once again flouting his detractors, executed some genuine
wrestling maneuvers, if not with an excess of physical grace. The
highlight of the match by far was when Savage slapped the
figure-four on Flair, and Hogan did the same on Arn Anderson right
next to them. Anderson later spinebusted Hogan, who jumped up far
too quickly. For the second consecutive Nitro, Flair was not seen on
camera with the WCW world title belt, which could be (1), a
coincidence, (2), an oversight, or (3), an indication that a new
name tag is being affixed to it, a repugnant indication that that RF
thief is to hold Savage's title for an extended period of time.
Also, Anderson did the job for Hogan instead of Flair.

There was the predictable post-match melee, with Benoit and Pillman
attacking Hogan and Savage, and Kevin Sullivan and Zodiac attacking
Pillman and Benoit. And, following up last week's near-miss, Big
Nasty Stinky Wart-Infested Giant administered chokeslams on both
Hogan and, for what must be the seventh or eighth time, Savage. He
was held back from dealing any further punishment by Zodiac, who it
seems is being slowly turned back into a face and Hogan ally. Though
Zodiac (AKA Butcher, AKA Brother Brutii, AKA Brutus Beefcake, AKA Ed
Leslie), isn't much, WCW still needs a few more good guys, and for
Leslie this would be a step up after what he's spent the last six
months doing.

* * *

I've read numerous complaints that the current incarnation of the
Four Horsemen is an "insult" to the legacy of the originals, even if
Ric Flair does have his stolen property. Once again I get to say "I
told you so."

Several months ago, when Flairies were delirious with joy over the
'rebirth" of the Horsemen, I warned that this group wouldn't be any
different from any of the previous versions because never again
would Ric Flair have the clout with the promotion that he did with
the Crockett's back in the mid-'80s. And that is pretty much what is
transpiring.

In what some ignorantly consider the "glory days" of WCW, the
original Horsemen never held fewer than two championships, and
usually three. The entire promotion revolved around them. And it was
done, for those who lament the lack of a big man in the Horsemen
lineup, by four men none of whom exceeded 250 pounds. It wasn't
until Lex Luger replaced Ole Anderson that the Horsemen acquired any
size, and that was the beginning of the revolving-door syndrome that
eventually spun the group apart. They've never recaptured that level
of clout, and this has, in fact, been a good thing for WCW.

Of the current "flab four," two are legitimate top stars (Anderson
and Benoit), and two are washed-up has-beens (Flair and Pillman).
The ouster of Pillman appears to already be in the works with his
"loose cannon" angle. Flair, unfortunately, is on his farewell tour,
and probably won't be stripped of the world title any time soon.
More's the pity, both because he's an embarrassment in the ring and
because he'd make a far better manager instead.

The Horseman who should have the ten pounds of gold, if any, is Arn
Anderson. I've always liked and respected Anderson, whom I consider
a far better worker and performer than the "Denture Boy." He ought
to be getting the push that Flair has usurped.

It'd be wonderful to see another Flair-Anderson match now, with the
WCW title on the line. It's a dream that deserves to be made into
reality.

THE RIGHT VIEW by Jim Sondergeld
Last week was a slow week. Things have picked up since then.

On WCW'S Mafia front, "Repo Boy" Ric Flair had his head handed to
him by Randy Savage (again), and got rescued by Arn Anderson
(again), this time on WCW Saturday Night. Funny, but I could have
sworn that Double-A had had his fill of that crap back in September.
Something obviously was wrong with the audio on my TV set.

WCWSN also aired the second part of Eric Bischoff's interview with
Mike Ditka. Obviously Bischoff, the proverbial pencil-necked geek,
is vicariously fulfilling his sports fantasies by working Nitro with
Steve McMichael and now chatting with Ditka. And, lo and behold, he
mentioned that McMichael may be about to kick off an
honest-to-goodness wrestling career, with Ditka possibly serving as
his manager. As if we all couldn't see this coming since Labor Day.
I can just picture the "AOL wrestling community" salivating as I
type.

Next week Bischoff talks to actor Jim Belushi. Will he be the Nasty
Boys' new manager?

* * *

Nitro kicked the pace up a couple of notches this week. Lex Luger
won his second clean victory over Randy Savage, which meant nothing
because Savage was already given the next shot at Ric Flair on next
Monday's Nitro from Las Vegas. This revelation angered both Luger
and Hulk Hogan, whose reactions will be detailed shortly.

The Anderson/Brian Pillman - Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morris match never
materialized, as all of the Dungeon and all of the Horsemen (and all
the king's men couldn't put Humpty . . . sorry, I got carried away),
gathered in the ring for a tensely pleasant pow-wow to patch things
up. However, a match almost broke out between Double-A and Pillman,
who came to the ring decked out in duds and earrings not unlike what
Shawn Michaels might wear. Pillman popped off to Sullivan, and
Anderson clopped him a good one. It looked for a moment as if his
nickname might have to be changed to "Cryin' Brian." And throughout
the interchange Chris Benoit was, in Bischoff's words, "staring a
hole" through Anderson, as though he was wondering just what kind of
slipshod bunch he'd hooked up with. At least Michaels only drags
around ONE bodyguard (He sure could have used one a few months ago,
couldn't he? **<snicker>**); old man Ric needs three (or five, if
Sullivan keeps lending him the Giant), and I doubt that's what
Benoit had in mind.

Public Enemy made their belated debut with a lackluster win over the
American Snails. They were much more interesting after the match,
when they stacked Marcus Bagwell atop two folding tables and
somersaulted from the top rope through all three of them. Of course,
if they were better ring performers they wouldn't have to pull
stunts like that, a fact which ECW Neanderthals never seem to grasp.

I can't remember the last time that a world title match was on a
card but was NOT the main event. Score one for the Hulkaphobes.

As usual, Flair got the Metamucil pounded out of him, this time by
Sting. But at least Arn Anderson got a break from playing the
"Denture Boy's" guardian angel; instead, Lex Luger did the honors,
"accidentally" bashing Sting with Jimmy Hart's megaphone, and then
proceeding to bicker with Hart while Flair was collecting the pin.

Actually, that sequence required some pretty fair timing, and was
well choreographed, much like Hogan's punching of Sting which was
meant for Luger some weeks back. In any case, Luger made a grab for
Flair and then ran for the hills when Hogan and Savage showed up. It
was Interesting, though, that he and Flair seemed to leave together.
And what of Jimmy Hart? Is he actually managing anybody anymore? One
week he's with Luger, the next with Flair, and he's always hanging
around with Sullivan. He must have a guaranteed contract.

Then we had the weekly "As the Faces Turn" segment, with Hogan and
Savage beseeching a woozy Sting to believe their claim that Luger is
a dirty, no-good SOB. So Sting went chasing after Luger, and Hogan
proceeded to get in Savage's face about the latter's title shot next
Monday. Savage left the ring in a huff, with Hogan in hot pursuit.
Tune in next time to find out if a brighter shade of rouge will help
bring Lexy around.

Oh, yes, Meng beat the bejeebers out of Hogan until the last twenty
seconds, when Hogan made his patented comeback, this time with a
helping hand from Kevin Sullivan, from whom Hogan stole Meng's
golden thumb spike and gave the Islander an impromptu tracheotomy.
Savage also came to Hogan's aid. All's right with the world again --
except that Ric Flair still has the WCW world title.

Something must be done about that.

* * *

Reconnoitering enemy territory during the Nitro replay was good for
several hearty guffaws. They say that pro wrestling is dominated by
the "Big Two" federations, but you'd never tell that from flipping
back and forth between Nitro and Raw.

At the very time that Sting and Ric Flair were tearing into each
other, our old friend Vincy was interviewing Dustin "I have
absolutely NO self-respect that this man hasn't bought and crammed
up my cowboy boots" Rhodes. It seems that "GoldDust" has been
lusting after Razor Ramon, longing to lick the grease off his big,
dumb gold chains or something. And, as God is my suffering witness,
he "milked" it for all it was worth. I didn't think Rhodes could do
such things with his voice, much less his tongue. He must have done
the research for this part in a San Francisco bathhouse ("In Your
Bathhouse I," anybody?). It looked as if it were all GoldDust could
do to refrain from tearing McMahon's pants off right then and there;
probably the only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that
Little Mac is his pimp in real life. The only thing that came close
to saving that segment was Jerry Lawler howling in laughter at the
pinched, rather constipated expression on McMahon's face (must come
from prolonged steroid abuse).

Family entertainment? I don't think so. And, in any case, lame in
the extreme; the WWF put Undertaker-Isaac Yankem up against
Hogan-Meng, which is to say Nitro had no competition on this night.
Steve Austin, wrestling as what looks like a skinhead, is the
"Million-Dollar champion," if anybody gives a d@mn. On the other
hand, One Man Gang is the new U.S. champion, and we never saw Sting
lose the belt TO Kensuke Sasaki in the first place. I thought maybe
Austin had burst onto the Raw set and dropped it in a trash can.

Speaking of which, the "Millionaire Ted's Wrastlin' Warroom"
segments continue. This campaign is a huge mistake on McMahon's
part; he's allowed Eric Bischoff to bait him into a level of
churlishness that is flushing his desperation out into the open. And
have you noticed that Bischoff hasn't mentioned the WWF much in the
past couple of weeks, other than a reference to the "Royal Fumble"?
I think there's been a method to Bischoff's churlishness, and it is
paying handsome dividends.

Finally, Shawn Michaels, the "hardest worker in the business," the
darling of the "AOL wrestling fans." He wrestled soon after his
gang-banging anyway "against his doctors' orders." And, lo and
behold, he's going to participate in the Royal Rumble! What a
surprise!

Not. If you add it all up, this little Michaels soap opera amounts
to a four-month paid vacation for the "Goldbrick Kid." His defenders
will no doubt say that he's "earned" a break; I say he's becoming a
lazy prima donna like a certain WCW world champion I know. At least
Diesel and Bret Hart haven't slacked off.

But then, Michaels, unlike GoldDust, is, figuratively speaking,
doing it to McMahon for real.

DAVE'S WORLD by Dave Whitaker
I've only been in school for five days, and I'm already sick of it.
I'm ready for a break. O.K., I'll stop whining.

My thoughts this week are on Nitro and WCW. I first start of with a
comment made by Eric "I wanna be just like Vince" Bischoff who
called the Royal Rumble the Royal Fumble. My response is, No Eric,
that's what your commentary is: A ROYAL  FUMBLE!!

But seriously, it is my opinion that Bischoff and company act like a
bunch of spoiled kids who are jealous because the WWF actually knows
what they're doing and does it better. WWF PPV'S have better matches
and much better camera work. WWF TV. shows also have better camera
work and are better produced.

The WWF is even better at being a smart-butt. WCW'S bashing of the
WWF has been Bischoff or McMichael putting down the WWF with stupid
comments like "In Your OutHouse." But the WWF, being smarter, comes
up with a couple of funny skits from Billionaire Ted's Wrassslin'
Warroom and parody characters like Scheme Gene. BTW, I think the
Scheme Gene character is great and does a good job of showing how
stupid Gene Okerlund really acts.

The WCW is gonna loose this war they've started. Eric Bischoff's
gonna look real stupid for opening his big mouth. I say it couldn't
happen to a bigger jerk.

DAVE'S WORLD by DAVE WHITAKER
School's back in full swing. I can tell 'cause I'm already sick of
it. Anyway, here are my thoughts of the week.

Last week, I read an interesting column by someone who made the
point that Vince (I'll do anything for a buck), McMahon was a big of
a jerk as Bischoff. He pointed out some of  McMahon's mistakes.

Well, I'm here to say that I have never accuse McMahon of being a
saint. Vincent K. has done more than his fair share to hurt pro
wrestling. However, I still must defend the  "Billionaire Ted"
skits.

Eric Bischoff and Mongoloid were screwing around with Raw. Bashing
WWF wrestlers, giving away matches, and any other thing they could
do to belittle the competition.

No one could expect the WWF to remain silent. I mean, WCW was trying
to wreck one of the crown jewel shows of Vince and co. Despite the
fact that the WWF had a policy of not mentioning other promotions,
they had to respond.

And they have. But the way it was done was different. You didn't
hear Dok (gee, I've really lost all the respect people used to have
for me), Hendrix talking about the Trash of the Champions. The WWF
went to satire to make their points. And they've done a tremendously
funny job at it.

Yes, I know Vince was charged with steroid distribution. Yes, I also
am very aware of the money Vince made off of that HH guy and Savage.
However, the WWF does have a good point when it does have a steroid
testing policy and WCW doesn't. Also, considering how the WWF has
always seen WCW as direct competition, I can see how in their mind
HH guy and Savage were disloyal.

Basically, I see it like this. WCW started this war. If they can't
stand the heat of response, get out of the wrestling business!!!!!

THE MASTER'S DEN January 12, 1996 by MICHAEL R. FIERRO
Is anyone else besides me concerned that last weeks Ring Report
could've been called "Billionaire Ted's Debate Room"? I have never
seen an event get such a large portion of the Ring Report as VINNIE
MAC'S shot back at ERIC BISCHOFF. Why did this cause such a stir?

I think the main reason this excited so many people is that we are
seeing a shifting in power in the big two. The WWF can no longer
claim to be the undisputed king of the hill. WCW is making long
strides in pro wrestling,  and are coming up on the WWF fast. Sure
Eric Bischoff brought the skit on himself with all his constant WWF
bashing. Sure, it was a very questionable maneuver on Vince's part.
But the whole incident only proves that, for the first time in many
years, there is really a Big Two in professional wrestling.

*****ECW*****
After many months of suffering, ECW fans in the northern Colorado
finally get back into the Extreme, and a half-hour earlier, too! On
Monday, January 8, Prime Sports Denver started to air Extreme
Championship Wrestling at 11:00 PM MST. And what a great show to
re-introduce ECW to it's fans. We saw MIKEY WHIPWRECK -vs.- 2 GOLD
SCORPIO. We saw MISSY HYATT. We saw a great farewell tribute to
PUBLIC ENEMY, along with an incredible brawl between PE and The
GANGSTAS. What a night; what a return.

*****WWF*****
Vinnie Mac has definitely opened up his pocketbooks, and the result
is an infusion of quality talent into the WWF. STEVE AUSTIN is a
very smart addition, especially as the Million Dollar Champion. I
also liked the fact that Vinnie mentioned that the RINGMASTER was a
well-known and well-respected wrestler. No more trying to make the
world believe every wrestler joining the WWF is a rookie.

The Royal Rumble will introduce DAN SEVERN (hopefully), and mark the
return  of the "Legendary" (JIM ROSS'S word), JAKE "THE SNAKE"
ROBERTS. We all know  that they don't have a chance of winning the
Rumble, but it will be nice to see them in the ring.

The WWF's biggest addition, though, (and I'm surprised this hasn't
gotten  more electrons), is the former 12-time World Champion,
VADER. I really think we are going to see Vader and Shawn Michaels
as the last two men in  the ring at the Rumble. And I am no longer
sure who will come out on top.

All I do know is that having Vader as your champion gives your
wrestling  federation instant credibility and makes all title
matches nail biters. I  wouldn't mind at all if Vader is the next
man to wear the gold.

*****WCW*****
What can you say about WCW? They are coming on strong. Eric Bischoff
seems to have had a burst of genius lately. Having Ric Flair win the
title  was a great move, and letting him keep it against THAT HH GUY
was an even  better move. The Clash should be awesome, if only for
the debut of the  Public Enemy. Blurring the lines between face and
heel (the LEX  LUGER/THIS-IS-STING thing, the HORSEMEN/DoD feud),
lends a little more reality to WCW.

Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day. We still have Hogan being
superman
(surviving being hit with "brass" knuckles, beating up all four
Horsemen).  We have ONE MAN GANG as US Champ (HUH?). We have a
wedding taking place on  the Clash.

But when you sort out the good, the bad, and the STEVE McMichael,
you find that WCW is better than it has been for over a year, and
should get even better.

See you next week!

LISTEN UP VINCE . . . by RKNAPP44
Hi everybody! What a week for New Englanders! We have had ENOUGH
snow!

Ric Flair is WCW champion! What thoughts does that bring to mind?
Well for one- An over-the-hill champ?!? Next- Another Hogan champ,
haven't we had enough? How about- lazy, low stamina, boring,
pathetic, champ? What has B!tchoff (a.k.a. B.S.Off), done? Why
doesn't he gave the title to the ONE man in WCW that deserves it . .
. STING?!? I'll tell you why. It's because we are talking about WCW!
Flair isn't even half the wrestler he used to be! I admit- he was a
pretty good wrestler before, but NOT anymore.

Jim Ross. Jim is much the same as Magilla Gorilla! The following
Diesel quote (that he stated to/about Gorilla), also pertains to
Jim: "Wow! That lobotomy scar doesn't show much at all!" Jim needs
to lighten up and use some comedy when he is talking. He also needs
to stop lecturing people on what a certain wrestler needs to do to
beat another wrestler. It is simply BORING! Another thing vital to
him becoming a decent broadcast journalist is to give up the gimmick
about being from hick state, or wherever he is from. If he can't
change his hometown he at least needs to stop saying stupid things
like SLOBBERKNOCKER! What is that supposed to mean? For me, whenever
JR comes on the screen it is surf time!

Razor Ramon. Most people know already that he is my favorite
wrestler. Not only is he a superb wrestler but he is REALLY a nice
guy in real life. I got his autograph on many items including
magazines and wrestling figures, and he never once said that i had
too many things to sign. I also got his picture with and without me
in it. Razor wasn't on a time budget, he had already gone over the 2
hours he was supposed to be there and he was there for probably 2
hours more than that. I also think that Razor is great at specialty
matches (not that he is fantastic in regular matches to). Some of
his better ones are lumberjack and ladder matches. He is great and I
hope he doesn't go to WCW!!

Sunny. Sunny is always being talked about in wrestling chat rooms.
She has a perfect body (with the exception of some extra celluloid
on the back of her thighs). She is also able to keep the crowd on
the edge of their seats at all times. I think you all know that her
gimmick is to be a B!*** and not her personality, but, just in case,
I have stated it for you. She must have a brain, since she signed
with the WWF and not Playboy.

LISTEN UP VINCE . . . by RKNAPP44
Hey everybody! The past few weeks have been really hectic for me and
I don't think my columns have been up to par. Therefore, this week I
will give you my best effort in composing a better report. Onto my
opinions . . .

Bam Bam Bigelow. Who is actually a fan of Bammer? He is pathetic! He
weighs 300 plus pounds and is terrible. Guys with his type of large
body are usually able to put on quite a show . . . but not him. Most
of the time guys like him have awesome power moves and are
surprisingly agile. Bam Bam is just like a fat guy on the street. He
has no right to be in wrestling at all. He can't interview, he can't
wrestle, and he can't get a decent manager. What CAN he do that is
worth being in the WWF? Right now it looks like he is out, but he
WAS selected for the Rumble. Even if it is only a one-shot deal it
is wrong to give him the ability too be in a major PPV. This is much
too much to just throw away to Bam Bam on a whim! There is NO way
that I will agree with Vince's decision until the Bamster does
SOMETHING worth watch for more than 5 SECONDS!

Diesel. Where the h3ll does WWF think up the idea of giving him the
championship title for a YEAR? He is tall, what else? He can't
interview. He can't wrestle. He cannot ACT! What is he Hulk Hogan?
He is a guy that gets beat up for half an hour, knocks a boot to the
face, and does a Powerbomb for the win. There was the ONE move that
he can do, Powerbomb. But then again, who can't? He has been in a
TON of PPVS for no other reason than the fact that he is Vince's
buddy. He is stupid and shows it. If he had half a brain he would go
to the one job that he is (halfway), qualified for. What job is it
you ask? Well I can't really say, all I can release at this time is
"Would you like fries with your order?". No wait, I can say
something else that might steer you in the right direction to the
answer of my question . . . "Welcome to McDonalds, how may I help
you?". Sure it's a big pay cut, but at least he isn't shown on TV
looking like an idiot!

Rey Misterio Jr. This guy he great! He is super small and super
fast. He can wrestle with the big boys and usually does. He displays
an array of aerial moves in each show. He can do feuds as well as
Jake Roberts. His best feud was with Psychosis. Match after match he
still shows tenacity and keeps the matches intense. He is even able
to work outside the ring too. He is so incredible that it is no
wonder that EXTREME Championship Wrestling has a contract with him!
Keep it up!

Psychosis. He wears a mask and a full body skin tight outfit. His
most notable feud was with Rey Misterio Jr. He is relatively tall
but that doesn't slow him down one bit! He takes a lickin' and keeps
on tickin'! He can perform fantastic technical moves like the
Frankensteiner. What does Joey Styles call it? La hunapawalla?
Somebody tell me so I can ask my Spanish teacher if she knows what
it means. 10 bucks says she won't have a clue! He is delightful to
watch and I am sad to say he has moved on to WCW. Vince, get him if
you can . . . he will do wonders for RAW! :p

GIVING CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE by Trace Thom
This is my first time ever submitting something to Ring Report,
but I felt it was time to put my proverbial 2 cents in considering
all that is happening in the world of professional wrestling.

-First of all, credit goes to Mark Bagwell for taking that
OUTSTANDING double table shot on this weeks Monday Nitro from the
hands of Rocco Rock of Public Enemy. (No longer The Public Enemy, I
guess.)     

-Credit goes to Arn Anderson for constantly doing the jobbing on his
and Ric Flair's behalf to that Hogan guy. Last week's Monday Nitro
Hogan No-Sell-A-Meter was off the scale! Hogan either reversed or no
sold 11 out of the 14 moves Double A and Flair put on him. The only
moves Hogan sold were a drop toe hold, an eye gouge, and a forearm
to the back!

-Credit goes to Eric Bischoff (yes Bischoff), for his loosening up
on the anti-WWF verbal brigade. He should take a more creative
stance a la Vince McMahon. I have heard that Bischoff is going to
start showing clips of Mark Callous, Kevin Nash, and Sid Eudy all
jobbing in WCW. Another idea Bischoff should use is having a couple
of jobbers (Men at Work?), getting excited about an interview with
the WWF. As they enter Titan Towers, have them get jumped by a
couple of execs, and drug behind closed doors. When they come out,
they would be dressed up like GoldDust. It would be hilarious, if
Dusty would let him that is.

-Credit goes to Bobby Heenan for staying out of the whole bash WWF
thing. (Has anyone noticed how bored he looks at times on Nitro?)

-Credit goes to Paul E. for protecting his "meal ticket" Sabu from
the WWF and the Royal Rumble.

-Credit goes to Vince for the whole Billionaire Ted skit. That is by
far the best of the "New Generation" skits. It's about time McMahon
fought back. Did anyone catch how dumbfounded Bischoff was live on
Nitro after watching the first Billionaire Ted? Just hilarious!

-A LOT OF CREDIT goes to Dustin Rhodes for doing the whole GoldDust
gay gimmick. Line of the decade, "Vince, is that a microphone in
your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" ROTFL Dustin is doing
what he was supposed to, draw heat. Credit also goes to McMahon for
having the sack to do the whole angle.

-Finally, credit goes out to Glen Gilbernetti AKA Disco Inferno for
renewing my interest in WCW. This guy is the funniest thing to hit
WCW in a long time. Great line talking about Evad's pet rabbit,
"Kill  the wabbit, kill the wabbit." Disco Inferno rules! I want to
be his stage manager on the Shake Your Booty Tour '96!!!!

Well, that is about it. Any comments or criticisms can be sent to
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING . Thanks a lot.

ON THE ROPES by JOE CROWE
It's almost time for my other favorite PPV of the year, the
Rumble. I've always enjoyed this card, mainly because you get to see
combinations during the Rumble that you don't anywhere else. For
years it's been like that, since the WWF started hyping it as "every
man for himself." I also like the big deal made over each wrestler's
entry number, and the length of time the wrestlers stay in the
match. And a couple years back they banned managers from ringside.
It's always fun watching the Rumble with a bunch of other
people and betting on who's coming in next. I also dig trying to
pick out the guy who's going to last the longest.
Since the year after Flair's title win at the RR, they've
brought in wrestlers as special guest stars, sort of, each year.
These guys aren't hanging around, they're just there to fill out the
30-man match. Usually it's recent ex-WWFers who were just sitting
around the house with nothing better to do, but that's fine.
Has anyone noticed the synergy between the Survivor Series and
the RR? Each year the WWF has these two PPVs. centered around
special types of matches. In the SS, the object is to come together
as a unit. In the RR, all the wrestlers have to fend for themselves.
It's just an all-around fun match. Most everybody has a good
idea who will win in the end, but there are bound to be surprises
along the way. And that, to me, is what wrestling is all about
anyway.

I had a good time doing this for the Survivor Series, so here we go
with some Royal Rumble trivia.

1. Who won the first RR? Bonus: What did the winner earn?

2. Which type of match has never appeared on the undercard of the
RR?
a) submission b) 2 out of 3 falls c) casket match d) nightstick on
a pole

3. Who has never wrestled in the RR?
a) Jerry Lawler b) Carlos Colon c) Harley Race d) Ricky Steamboat

4. On the undercard (not in the Rumble itself), all the WWF titles
have changed hands. Who has won . . .
a) The World title b) the tag belts c) the Intercontinental?

5. Which one of these wrestlers has NOT set a record for longest
stay in the Rumble, at one time or another?
a) Rick Martel b) Shawn Michaels c) Ric Flair d) Bob Backlund

My e-mail is JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING . Now LET'S GET RRRRREADY TO
WATCH A
BUNCH OF PEOPLE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHERRRRRRRR!

THE SUPER BOMB by Tom Robson
After a long hiatus, The Super Bomb returns!!! I'd like to say it's
because hundreds of people have been e-mailing me asking me to start
writing again . . . but that would be a blatant lie. Anyway I enjoy
writing these so I'm back!

My topic this week . . . my favorite tag team in the history of
teams: THE PUBLIC ENEMY! Nothing can begin to describe the rush I
felt when I attended my first ever ECW card and TPE were introduced.
The entire crowd was waving their arms and cheering. It was the
biggest thrill I had ever experienced at a live wrestling event. The
ECW Arena is truly the house that The Public Enemy built . . . and
now they're gone.

On Friday night, January the fifth, "Flyboy" Rocco Rock & Johnny
Grunge wrestled in their last Extreme Championship Wrestling match,
defeating the Gangstas. TPE leaves behind a legacy that will go down
in ECW history. They've won the ECW World Tag Team Title four times.
Let's examine some of the highlights of their ECW career:

They clearly proved themselves to be the masters of the
Three-Way-Dance match. In the two times they did battle in those
encounters, they came out as the new ECW Tag Champs, first beating
the teams of Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko and Rick Steiner & Taz, and
defeating the Gangstas and the duo of Raven & Steve Richards the
second time.

They invented a new specialty match: The Brawl Game. A match in
which the first team to knock one of their opponents out for a
ten-count, then they get to use the baseball bat and the match
proceeds to a pinfall. In the first ever Brawl Game, they defeated
Ian and Axl Rotten: The Bad Breed. They also won their second ECW
Tag Titles by defeating Cactus Jack & Mikey Whipwreck in a Brawl
Game match.

Throughout their tenure in ECW they had some incredible feuds. Their
opponents included The Bruise Brothers, Terry & Dory Funk, Cactus
Jack & Mikey Whipwreck, Sabu & Taz, Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko, The
Gangstas and finally, The Heavenly Bodies.

ECW fans will never forget them. It will be interesting to see how
WCW uses them. We saw how Bumbling Eric ruined Sabu. I can't imagine
TPE actually making legal tags, or not using tables. Obviously those
are things that we will all have to adjust to. Rocco and Johnny: you
won't be forgotten, and on behalf of all ECW fans I say I hope you
get the WCW Tag Titles, you deserve them.

THE SUPER BOMB by Tom Robson
This week's topic: The problems with wrestling today.

1) Hulk Hogan
Anyone who knows anything about knows that I loathe Hulk Hogan
more than any other wrestling personality on the face of the planet,
including the ever-hated Bill Alphonso. Hulk Hogan constantly forces
deserving wrestlers out of the spotlight and into mid card matches.
Wrestlers like Eddy Guerrero and Chris Benoit both deserve to be in
main events, but will they ever be, no. His influence has turned the
once-great Four Horsemen into a fraction of their former selves,
with the constant bickering between teammates, it's any wonder that
the fans are still supporting them. Hogan obviously doesn't have the
fan support that he once had, and he just can't seem to understand
that the longer he continues to "wrestle" the more he destroys his
legacy. I once was proud to call myself a Hulkamaniac. I thought he
stood for good things. However, recently he has proved that the only
thing he cares about is himself.

2) Vince McMahon & Eric Bischoff
A while ago, people criticized WCW and the WWF for not
recognizing the other. Now they do, and I think most of us wished
they didn't. Most people criticize Eric Bischoff more than Vince
McMahon, because Bischoff started this whole war of words, but Vince
was right by not responding. I cracked up when I saw the first
"Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' Warroom" skit, but they've gone too
far. Now WCW is showing clips of their wrestlers beating top WWF
guys on their shows. What will be next? A hanging of Eric Bischoff
in effigy on Raw? It needs to stop. Now.

3) Pay-Per-Views
When pay-per-view wrestling began, it was a pretty good idea.
Four or five major supercards a year that all fans could see. Now,
it's gotten to the point where there are twenty-two pay-per-views a
year, at a cost of anywhere between $15 and $30 dollars. If they
were all between $10 and $20, that might be a little more
reasonable, but spending $50 a month for five to six hours of
entertainment is ridiculous. Plus, house shows have become
non-important. I think everyone would like to see both federations
cut down to at most five pay-per-views a year each, at a price of no
more than $20 apiece. I miss the times when the Clash of the
Champions actually had title matches (note to WCW: real titles, not
fictional ones), The next Clash has a tag team main event of three
guys who are over the hill (although I still love Flair), and a
rookie who is a disgrace by essentially mocking a great wrestler.
(Isn't it almost the two-year anniversary of Andre's passing?), The
only things that will make this Clash worth watching are Public
Enemy, Konnan vs. Psicosis, Pillman vs. Guerrero and Disco Inferno.
Pay-per-view is not good for wrestling. We want . . . no we deserve
to see good action without having to pay ridiculous prices for it.

I promise, next week- positive comments.

STATE OF WRESTLING by Rob Newland
If you are reading this column it is extremely probable that you
are a fan of professional wrestling. That is the one common bond we
all share but beyond that we are all, of course, very different
people with very different lives. Something we don't often consider
is that we are all different types of wrestling fans too. Are you a
hard-core fan? Smart? Mark? Inside? Smark? These definitions of us
not only cross over into each other but also have different
meanings. To some people we are all marks if we pay to watch
wrestling but to others only those among us who enjoy the wacky,
playful, imbecilic and brainless antics of the Bushwhackers are
worthy of the title, "mark". The fact is sometimes we can get caught
up and even obsessed by hastily giving someone a label and either
ignoring or
listening to them based on the label assigned. I'm sure many
hard-core fans or even people involved in the business have entered
a chat room and casually commented about how they liked a certain
wrestler and immediately been called a mark even though the opinion
may have been based on workrate and other "hard-core" criteria.
Many also feel the uncontrollable urge to always behave in the
manner of their previously acquired label. The heavens would
collapse and you would be ostracized from the land of the hard-cores
if for a second you admitted you thought the Shawn collapse was real
or made any other such not "smart" comments. H3ll some fans are so
jaded that they can't even believe the attack on Shawn Michaels
outside the nightclub was legit because it was mentioned on WWF TV
and their "reputation" would be ruined if it turned out to be part
of an angle and they bought into the big work. I also find it hard
to believe that the average "hard-core" when watching TV and WCw
comes on he immediately blades himself, grabs the nearest kitchen
appliance and chants, "ECW!" while brutally hammering himself on the
head with the aforementioned appliance. Although this is the
perception you might get of that fan reading SOME of the posts of
the loyal ECW fan. It is now time for the usual disclaimer designed
for the intolerant and blind. (I am a big ECW fan. I said "some" and
I'm not talking about the majority of ECW fans who are great people
who I happen to be friends with).
Where was I? Oh yes the "hard-core" fan. You see if I was asked
to put a label on myself I would most likely reach for the one that
reads, "hard-core" but that's because I have a different definition
of that word in my mind. You see I always thought of the "hard-core"
fan to not only be the guy (like me), who spends their money getting
tapes of ECW and Japanese promotions sent to their house but also
the fan who will sit down and watch 55 minute of Hulk Hogan and his
clique to get 5 minutes of Eddy Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko.
Now before Eric Bischoff starts celebrating that the average
hard-core will watch WCw anyway I should make something clear. I
*do* think it's worth watching or recording Nitro to get at those 5
good minutes but I do *not* think WCw has a good enough product for
me to financially support it in any way. The number of things they
do that offend and frustrate me force me to rent or borrow a copy of
their PPVS but I don't buy them. The same can be said for any other
fed. Because I am a wrestling fan I will watch
anything but I will only pay for something that's good. I will also
only watch Nitro because I know it's the best of all their shows but
because WCw doesn't do enough to make me a fan I don't watch any of
their other shows. I think in this regard I am exactly like the
average fan (or "mark"), in that I'll watch most wrestling for a
while and give it a chance but to get my full support (and money),
you need to appeal to me and WCw does not appeal to me.
So what is the point of this column? Basically it is lighten
some people up a little. I'm not saying you can't bash WCw (h3ll if
you have ever read this column you know I do it each and every
week), but not just focus on the bad but also the good. Having said
this I have to say Starrcade was the best WCw PPV of the year. It
wasn't fantastic by any stretch of the imagination but Guerrero and
Otani had me truly entertained for a sustained period longer than
any WCw produced product this year. I just hope that we can look at
wrestling both ways. Doink is not the WWF anymore they have made
some improvements and, although they are a long way off being where
they should be, they are definitely heading in the right direction.
Finally the talk of Sabu in this years WWF Royal Rumble has
created a massive split in many fans and it has been rumored to have
also caused a split in ECW possibly resulting in Paul E adopting an
"us or them" attitude. I must say actually seeing Sabu would be nice
although I understand perfectly why people who can go to the ECW
Arena live and in person would want to keep him right there. The
fact is this *should* be up to Sabu and not Paul E. Sabu has a right
to receive national attention, big money and a possible spot in a
company that could make him healthier and financially well off. It's
not like Sabu would drown and lose his appeal or ability in the WWF
since with recent changes I'm sure we could see him smashing tables
and working his 4 to 5 star matches given a chance. We should know
from his deal in WCw he won't work anywhere unless he can be
himself. In ECW he has a chance they will make it to PPV (hey I love
ECW but we have seen in all mediums of entertainment that having a
great product does not necessarily translate to making a great deal
of money), while he still works Japan and Mexico risking permanent
injury that will put him out of the sport forever leaving none of
this options open. I don't claim to know the whole story so let me
make this clear that these opinions are based on rumors but rumors
from very reliable sources. Why does Paul E want to put Sabu in such
a difficult situation when Sabu could go wrestle the one shot deal
and if Paul E is lucky the WWF will not offer Sabu a spot in the
company and he gets him just for ECW. If he's unlucky they part on
good terms with a possible return to ECW if his WWF stint doesn't
work out or even comes to a natural conclusion in a couple of years.
Instead he tries to prevent Sabu from working a show that Sabu has
made it clear to him he very much wants to work in. This way whether
Sabu accepts his spot in the Rumble or not the relationship between
Paul E and Sabu is weakened and in the future it would take perhaps
only a small problem to light the fuse and we would see Sabu leave
ECW once again. I hope to see Sabu do what's right for him since (if
I was forced to choose), I'd take 8 years of a less bone breaking
Sabu than 2 years of his always increasingly dangerous table spots.
As I've seen from his New Japan matches he can put on a great match
without breaking 4 tables with his head. In fact the impact of the
use of a table is increased if used less frequently. In the WWF he
may only use the table on PPV which would probably be less than half
of his televised matches and that will increase it's value as part
of making a great match. Just ask PE about this who one day got a
huge pop for using just one table but after overusing them again and
again they ended up needing to use three tables or fire to get the
same pop.

FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC by "Maniac" Mike Blade
After last week's column, I was willing to leave this topic
alone . . . but no one else seems to want to.
The WWF and WCW acting foolishly. VinnieMac and EricB seem
destined to spit at each other for months to come. Why I expect
dignity from men who run wrestling organizations is beyond me. This
past Monday night (the 8th), each sank to a new low just when it
seemed that was beyond their grasp.
After the first edition of "Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' War
Room", suddenly the brains at WCW decide to say that the WWF is
trying to imitate them. THEM!
Let's face it, WCW has been hiring former WWF wrestlers. That
is not a bad thing, it's what these men do for a living and they
should be able to make a living. I don't like them all. I don't like
the fact that at least three of them have undergone no fewer than
three name or gimmick changes. But that's the business. What isn't
the business is recycling old WWF plotlines and pretending like
they've never happened before. One of the Inane Squad (WCW
announcers), actually went so far as to say Hogan and Savage hadn't
teamed up before.
On the other hand, Vince usually turns a cold shoulder to any
other organization. The fact that he's willing to even allude to WCW
is a step in the right direction. As for the War Room skits, there
is some creativity going into them, and I admit that I've laughed.
Until the bit about steroids, it was low, it was tacky, and it was
coming from the wrong guy. Then, McMahon apologizes on-line, he has
four days to edit it, but shows it again unedited on Mania.
In the meantime, Bischoff is screaming "We're Number One" at
the top of his lungs (apparently hasn't seen the last two weeks
ratings yet). Mongo is babbling incoherently about something. And
Scheme Gene is giving the hot news that everyone has known for a
week (just $1.49 per minute).
After all of this, I thought for sure my Monday nights were set
to ruined for months to come. Then I decided to set the VCR, just in
case. Low and behold, ECW has returned to Prime in my area. Sure
they manage to throw in one or two matches in an hour, with a
ridiculous amount of filler, but they entertain and they push it to
the extreme. (Forgive the pun . . . but they do.)
One final note about Bischoff's recent rantings. So what if
you're giving away all of your wrestling in January. We've seen it
all before. Shake things up a bit. How about some clean endings.
Does every main event have to end with a screwjob? Oh and by the
way, the collective cost of your 9 pay-per-views through the year is
about the same as the collective cost of the WWF's 12. Thanks, Eric!
Oh and by the way, before you go horse screaming about being
number one, you may want to consider that Raw has won 8 head-to-head
battles, Nitro 7, with 2 ties. And Raw holds a slight edge in the
cumulative ratings. I guess it just sounds better than, "We're
Virtually Tied!", even if that is the truth.

FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC by "Maniac" Mike Blade
This column will no doubt cause me to be ridiculed . . . you
know, more than usual.
Over the last few years, I've been following the career of a
certain wrestler with great interest. The problem is, I seem to have
more interest in his career than he does.
Sid Eudy is an impressive physical specimen. At nearly seven
feet tall, he has a physique that few men his size are able to
maintain. Let's face it, few men of any size are able to maintain
that kind of physique. We're not here to debate how it got that way.
I first caught up with Sid during his first stint in WCW. As
Sid Vicious he was a monster heel. Though misused, he showed the
potential to be a megastar. Just as he was beginning to heat up, he
jumped ship to the WWF.
For weeks, Sid Justice was featured in vignettes with the tag
line "Justice will be served". The hook being that no one could
figure out what "being served" meant. Would he be a face and serve
out justice to heels? Or would he be a heel and have faces serve
Justice? This was answered at SummerSlam when he served as guest
ref. as Hogan and Warrior took on Slaughter, Adnan and Mustafa. Sid
Justice turned out to be a face and the next in line heir apparent
to Hogan's crown. It didn't suit him very well. Sid seemed lost as a
face, especially one who wasn't allowed to be vicious.
Several months later, he returned from a torn bicep to the
Royal Rumble. He eliminated Hogan, who (ever the sportsman), pulled
Sid out of the ring leaving Ric Flair as the WWF World Champion. Two
weeks later, tagging with Hogan in tag match against Flair and the
Undertaker, Sid left Hogan alone and nearly bashed in the newly
minted face of Brutus Beefcake to boot. Thus returning him to heel
status.
The weeks leading up to WrestleMania 8 showed Sid for the heel
he should have continued to be throughout his career. Managed by
Harvey Wippleman, he began using his "Last Rites of the Power Bomb"
gesture. He was mangling any jobber who got in his way, including
breaking Virgil's nose on an exposed turnbuckle. There was
bloodletting; there were great interviews; but most of all, there
was that vicious streak. After jobbing for Hogan at WM8, he made a
quick departure, it was softball season after all.
A year passed before he resurfaced in WCW. Once again he was
Sid Vicious, and his tag team with Vader, "The Masters of the Power
Bomb", showed real potential. But just as they were getting
underway, WCW decided to push him as a face. The turn was complete
when he tagged with Sting. He was scheduled to take the title from
Vader at Starrcade 93. Then he vanished.
Reports surfaced of an altercation between he and Arn Anderson
during the tour of the UK. By the time the details were out, so was
Sid. It was months later before he turned up in the USWA to take the
Unified title from Jerry Lawler. Still longer before he got the call
back to Stamford.
As we approach the anniversary of his return to the WWF, rumors
are back that he's on his way out. That his vaunted temper has cost
him his last shot. The official WWF line has him out with a neck
injury. Either way, it's the latest in a long line of setbacks for a
man who could have been great.
If it's not over, I'd like to make this plea to Vince and to
the man himself. Vince, use him right. The man is a monster, build
him as the biggest heel you've got. Have him break the noses of
jobbers. Have him break a few bones. Give him a sleazy manager like
Wippleman and let him reign terror on anyone who gets in his way. Oh
yeah, and dig out the "Last Rites of the Power Bomb" again. Sid, you
are an entertainer. Quit taking yourself so seriously. There are
still fans that love you, but you need to get with the program.
Stand up and be the superstar you have the ability to be. And for
pity sakes put a title around your waist, you've never held a major
title (softball trophies notwithstanding)!

NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
I know, I know "what the heck happened?"
Well, when I wrote on the Internet and just about everywhere
else that I was taking a couple of days off to finish up things on
the world wide web sites that I'm constantly plugging I didn't
expect to take *this* long to get back to everyone.
First, apologies, this will be our one and only double-shot
issue. Yes, it's twice as fun with one big issue for two weeks worth
of cool Ring Report stuff. Really cool Ring Report stuff! ;)
So where have I been?
Okay . . . we'll leave it at is was a long couple of weeks.  I
had a very serious deadline to meet last week and I barely made it
under the wire.  You can check out the results of my work at
http://www.gstand.com/gssims for the updated CYBER SPORTS INC. home
page.
The fact is that I'm working hard on making the Grandstand
sites the best we can have on the Internet.  We're launching more
sites all the time and now it's led to this announcement: On January
24, 1996, I will take on the role of the president of Maddog Bytes,
Computers.  A very limited little web page/general computer
job/Q&A/you name it company.  It's a way to make some money off of
the hard work I've put in over the last six months, and hopefully it
will lead to some good things down the line (like a way to
permanently pay my bills w/o having to get a "real" job).
You've seen my work and I hope that the future is bright for
this endeavor.  It's been a long time coming and I am thankful for
the opportunity and all the advice I've had in the past six months
(or even the last few days -- you all have been great).
Finally, if you've noticed that my presence of activity in the
message areas of my "favorite places" has diminished in the past few
weeks, well, it may diminish more.  I've had it with a lot of things
going on.  There are some good things, there are some bad things,
but I'm no longer being in the middle.  Right now I'm working from
morning well after midnight and participating/mediating/you name it
in fights and stupid controversies on-line takes up too much time.
I'm out of the game for now (other than here in the Ring Report, on
my web sites and on my job as Wrestling Board Leader on AOL).
Telling that to some may have cost me a lot, but folks, I've got
enough on my plate right now without adding the side dish of
separating those that I respect and admire (or dealing with those
that I don't).  I barely have time to do e-mail these days and
needless battles are just a waste.
You do what you want to on the Internet, it's none of my
business. I will express my opinion when I want to express my
opinion and I'll be back when I want to come back.  But if you do
anything -- especially playing mindgames, issuing phony lawsuit
threats (and death threats), bragging about your testosterone
induced "fun" on-line, playing under bogus accounts in order to hurt
people -- leave me out of it.
There are good people out there who I respect and admire, I'm
sorry if my recent decision to get out of the game hurt them --
especially in the vocal ways I've been doing it -- but I can't
continue to let fighting endless crusades take up as much time as it
has been lately. I hope you can understand my decision and you can
find me back here on the Ring Report every week, on the world wide
web, and in the Grandstand from 10 to 11 PM Eastern Saturday Nights
in the Grandstand.
Until Next, my thoughts go out to all of you -- especially my
friends in Harrisburg who are still under water -- and . . .

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

********************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: All names, events, etc., are trademarks of their
respective leagues. The Ring Report is in NO WAY sponsored by and
makes NO CLAIMS to be associated with ANY of the federations covered
here. We are a free publication, put out by fans for fans, and if
your federation has a problem with being carried -- please contact
me immediately at JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING . Thank you.
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