****************************************************************
The Ring Report TV Update 1/3/96 Vol. 1, No. 150
("HAPPY NUDIE YEAR!")
****************************************************************
WRESTLING NEWS AND COMMENTARY by DENNIS MILLER
[NOTE: These are rumors as reported by local hot-lines, newsletters,
on-line wrestling services and from talking to people in the
wrestling industry. As they are *rumors* and not *facts* we ask that
you make up your own mind as to their validity. Also note that
rumors are prone to changes from time to time so what you read here
may have changed by press time.]
WCW NEWS: There were two title changes at last Wednesday's
STARRCADE, one you saw and one you didn't . . . In the one you did
see, the WCW title went back to where it belongs when RIC FLAIR beat
RANDY SAVAGE in a match which saw both men juice . . . In the one
you didn't see, ONE MAN GANG beat KENSUKE SASAKI in a dark match to
win the US title. This could mean the end of the working
relationship between WCW and New Japan. My guess is that is
indeed the case, since it happened in a dark match which no one saw.
An Hopefully, Gang won't have the belt long . . . WCW ended the year
on a good note with a very good PPV and two excellent matches
between Ric Flair and Randy Savage . . . WCW has a CLASH OF
CHAMPIONS scheduled for January which should feature a match
involving MADUSA . . . PUBLIC ENEMY may debut at the Clash against
THE NASTY BOYS, but that is still up in the air as WCW wants to use
the name Public Enemy, but PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY apparently claims the
rights to the name in professional wrestling and DEF JAM has the
rights in entertainment . . .
WWF NEWS: Sources close to the WWF say THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR
will not be in WWF in time for THE ROYAL RUMBLE if at all. Warrior
no showed an appointment to cut a video last week . . . BUDDY
LANDELL, who was finally having some good luck in his life, had some
bad luck earlier in the week when he slipped on ice at a
Pennsylvania hotel and busted his ankle . . . Landell will be out of
action for up to eight weeks . . . SHAWN MICHAELS has a press
conference scheduled for Jan. 8, where he will announce he is
returning to wrestling. Michaels has been given a legitimate clean
bill of
health by his doctors . . . VINCE MCMAHON found out about Madusa
dumping the WWF women's belt in a trash can while he was
commentating a MONDAY NIGHT RAW match. Vince was visibly upset and
distracted for the rest of the show . . . THE BRITISH BULLDOG may be
making another face turn . . . GOLDDUST has been spotted a house
shows sitting at ringside during RAZOR RAMON matches, making sexual
advances at Ramon and even going as far as pulling down his body
stocking and pinching his nipples . . . God!!!! GoldDust also asked
Vince McMahon during a recent interview if that was a
microphone in Vince's pants or if Vince was just glad to see him . .
. God!!!!
MEXICO NEWS: Reports out of Mexico say the two big promotions
in Mexico, Triple A and EMLL, have decided to start working together
and
have even signed a working agreement . . .

CWUSA 12-23-95 TV SHOW SUMMARY by MARK CARLTON
Announcer Dutch Savage(17 Time PNW Champion)

Bart Sawyer vs. Richie Magnet: Bart Sawyer wins with a rollup when
it appeared that Magnet had the advantage.

Interview with Bart Sawyer: Bart is mad at Buddy Wayne since Wayne
"Pearl Harbored" him after last week's interview and challenges
Wayne to a Texas Death Match next week.

Buddy "Heart Breaker" Wayne vs. Rick Lee: Dutch says that Rick Lee
claims to be from Pluto(?).

- Lee is probably the worst wrestler I have ever seen and that
includes Sal Bellomo and Rocky Dellasandro.

Wayne finally pins Lee.

Interview with Buddy Wayne: "Bart Sawyer where were you? I was
calling your name all night. I'm ready for you anytime!"

Sandy Barr is shown holding the CWIA (Championship Wrestling
International Alliance), Heavyweight Belt. Two years ago, a
tournament was held for the Tag Belts but a Heavyweight Champion was
never crowned. It's time to crown a champion. The other members of
the alliance include Canada, Mexico, Japan, Korea and China. On Dec.
28, were gonna have a tournament.

Elimination Match: Billy Jack Haynes, Bruiser Brian Cox and Jimmy
Snuka
vs.
The Pack(Jesse Barr, Dane Rush, and Lou Andrews)

- match joined in progress: Rush is the first one eliminated when
Bruiser Brian pins him after a powerbomb. Later on, Andrews spits on
Bruiser who goes "berserk", is DQ'ed and eliminated. Snuka chops
Andrews over the top rope and heads outside the ring. After some
brawling, Andrews rolls into the ring but Jesse Barr crawls under
the ring and holds onto Snuka's leg causing Snuka to be counted out.
Billy Jack is now left to fight both Andrews and Barr. Haynes takes
a beating from Andrews but manages to throw Andrews into Barr and
then applies a full nelson on Andrews who quickly submits. Barr
attacks Haynes before he lets go of Andrews. Haynes takes a beating
and several 2 counts before catching Barr with a Bruiser Brody kick
to the face. Action goes back and forth before Haynes gets Barr in
the full nelson. The referee calls for the bell and Barr submits(I
think that's the wrong order). Lou Andrews rolls into the ring and
attacks Haynes. Snuka follows and attacks Andrews. Rush approaches
the ring but is cut off by Bruiser Brian.

Interview with Bruiser Brian, Billy Jack Haynes and Superfly Snuka:
Billy Jack is beside himself. His team wins every week but still
ends up getting jumped afterwards.

- I wonder what happened to the armed guards that were *supposed* to
be around the ring enforcing the elimination? -:)

Promoter Sandy Barr enters. Dutch asks him, " How are we going to
keep those guys from interfering?". Barr explains his plan for next
week:  Bruiser Brian will have a singles match with Dane Rush. Snuka
and Haynes will have a tag match with Barr and Andrews. Meanwhile,
Rush will be locked in a cage and Bruiser Brian will be handcuffed
to the cage to make sure he *doesn't* get out.

Interview with "The Pack":

Rush: "Nobody locks me in a cage! Everybody saw Bruiser Brian pull
my trunks when he pinned me. There's a hole in the back of my
tights."

- Rush bends over and pulls his trunks down. That portion of the
screen is blacked out.

Andrews: "I didn't submit. We need a new referee. Snuka and Haynes,
you have a big problem next week."

Barr: "I don't believe what we hear. Crybabies crying out here.
Things aren't fair. We want it our way. To top it off, the Promoter
gives them their way. We're not cowards!"

- Andrews drops a chair over Barr's head 3 times. Each time, Barr
says "Harder!".

Barr: "Does that look like a wimp?".

- Sandy Barr comes up and starts pushing and shoving "The Pack".
Sandy says, "Yes, the match will go on!".

Next Week: Highlights of the Christmas Night show.

WCW NITRO 12/25/95 by SCOTT HIBBS
WHAT YOU MISSED: First off, I'd like to apologize for not
sending out this report last week. It was X-Mas week and I was VERY
busy and I forgot all about it. Sorry!. . . LEX LUGER defeated
SCOTTY RIGGS with the Torture Rack . . . MEAN GENE interviewed LEX
and JIMMY HART and CRAIG PITTMAN came out. He asked Jimmy to manage
him, but Jimmy just laughed . . .STING beat BIG BUBBA. Is it just
me, or is Sting on EVERY single Nitro? Oh well, it's a lot better
than Hogan! . . . DEAN MALENKO beat JL with some kind of submission
hold. Malenko RULZ! . . . "THE NATURE BOY" RIC FLAIR beat MACHO MAN
RANDY SAVAGE by DQ when STING and LEX LUGER interfered. Is it just
me, or is there a screw job finish in the main event of every single
Nitro? Oh well, it's better that Zanta Klaus! . . . NEXT WEEK: RIC
"WHOOOOOOO" FLAIR vs. HULK "BOOOOOOOOO" HOGAN for the WCW World
Title and if Hogan wins the title I . . . .I . . . .I'll do
something!, LEX LUGER & STING vs. SUPER STEROID FREAKS AKA SUPER
ASSASSINS, CHRIS BENOIT vs. SOMEBODY that I don't remember (I think
it was EATON), and MACHO MAN vs. ARN ANDERSON. Before I go, how
about we all join hands and WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in honor of the
Nature Boy beating Frog Man . . .!

STARRCADE '95 12/27/95 by CHRIS YETMAN
What does WCW have to do to get a good PPV? If you were to ask
me this question 6 months ago I would probably say they would have
to leave HH out of it, give Flair a title, and bring in wrestlers
from Japan. WCW did all of these at there last PPVs. what was the
end result? Well it was something that one would not be TOTALLY
embarrassed to watch with a non-wrestling fan.
Dusty Rhodes was on the announce team, as a result we had one
of the worst announce teams in the history of speaking. One
ridiculous note about all of this is the fact WCW tried to have you
believe that if they lost this event New Japan would take over WCW.
How can they expect anyone to believe this is even remotely
possible, actually it would be the best thing for WCW at the moment.

Chris Benoit vs. Liger - I have seen various Liger/Benoit matches
and they have all been good, not even WCW influence could screw
these up. It wasn't one of their better encounters but it still left
you satisfied. They tried to put Liger off as a heel which was a
mistake, he seemed almost awkward waving a little Japanese flag.
Liger pinned Benoit with a badly botched Frankensteiner. This came
after Kevin Sullivan ran out and distracted Benoit. It was almost as
if WCW sent him out to remind us it was "Where the Big Boys Play" :
),

-Interview with Eddie Guerrero

Koji Kanemoto vs. Alex Wright - During this match, the most
deteriorating announcer in wrestling, Tony Schivani, made a
tasteless remark about the late, great Smoky Mountain Wrestling.
Alex Wright is just retarded. His main attribute is high flying,
this he does mediocre. The entire match was filled with bland high
spots, including a plancha which Wright just stood for staring at
Kanemoto for the whole movement. Kanemoto got the victory.

-Sonny Onoo reminded us what a fool Eric Bischoff is.

Masashiro Chono vs. Lex Luger - This match was not very good at all,
it was actually tiresome to watch. Luger made him give up in the
torture rack. Luger got a HUGE pop for his victory.

Johnny B Badd w/ Diamond Doll vs. Masa Saito - The Doll came out
jumping and somersaulting with enough energy in her to make anyone
want to pull out an uzi and shoot her head off. She is now dressing
like Sunny, but IMO Sunny makes her look like Abe Vigoda. Sonny Onoo
got on the house mic and said she should be at home cooking (What's
wrong with that :) ), the Doll then got on the mic and preceded to
insult the entire country of Japan and it's customs. The match had
it's normal highspots from Saito including the Asai Moonsault into a
Frankensteiner pinning combo we are used too: ), Actually is was
quite bad, with Saito getting DQ'd for throwing Badd over the top.

Shinjiro Ootani vs. Eddie Guerrero - This was the match of the
night, if not that match of the year for WCW. Both wrestlers worked
there @sses off and had many good highspots executed perfectly.
Surprising enough Ootani won the match. I also believe Ootani got a
bloody nose in that match.

Randy Savage vs. Tensan - This match was back to that bad. The next
to matches I think were punishment for us seeing two interesting
matches earlier. Savage scored the vic with the flying moron drop.

Sting vs. Kensuki Sasaki - This was a little better then the
Savage/Tensan match but not by much. I think Sting is addicted to
slamming people because that and the stinger splash seem to be the
only other moves he knows. After a semi-long battle in the Scorpion
Death Lock Sasaki gave up. This gave the "World Cup" to the
Americans and saved the world from the Japanese while giving us
revenge for Peal Harbor in the process: )

Triangle Match: Sting vs. Luger vs. Flair - The premise for this
triangle match was odd. Flair and Sting would start in the ring with
Luger on the outside, either of the 2 could tag Luger however the
first person to make a pin wins the match. The match itself was not
real good, although the new idea kept it interesting. It eventually
ended up Sting/Luger. Luger went to put him in the torture rack and
he knocked down the ref., Flair ran in and knocked both men from the
ring, the ref. started to count out Sting and Luger, Sting got up
first but before he could get into the ring Luger held him back and
it ended as a double countout with Flair as the winner to go on to
face Savage.

WCW Championship Match : Randy Savage vs. "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair
- It finally happened, Ric Flair got the title he has deserved for
20 years. For the past 2 years he has been used and abused in every
way possible and at this event he finally got the belt he should
have never lost to HH. During the match Jimmy Hart came out as
Flair's manager, Hart tossed Flair the megaphone but Savage took it
from Flair and hit him with it. Savage then bladed Flair and bladed
him much to deeply. Then Savage did the elbow drop but the ref. was
stuck with Hart. Pillman and Benoit then came out only to be
attacked by Savage, then Anderson ran in and nailed Savage with the
famous knuckles. Flair got the pin and the world title . . .

This has been there best even so far however it could have been much
better without all of the Japan vs. America ideas and Sonny Onoo.
Still though not bad. I have the funny feeling they will not be able
to follow through though.

WWF TOUR DE FORCE in LAS VEGAS 12/27/95 by ED HANECAK
The WWF rolled into the Thomas & Mack Center this past
Wednesday for the first time in almost two years, ending an almost 3
month dry spell for live wrestling in Las Vegas. This is the same
arena that the UNLV Runnin' Rebel basketball team plays in, and the
same arena that WCW used in October. Total attendance was about
3,000, which is more than the Rebels and WCW combined.

1) BOB BACKLUND & SKIP (without SUNNY), vs. BARRY HOROWITZ & FATU:
Talk about your lack of heat, or lack of anything for that matter.
Mr. Backlund didn't even get in the ring, as Skip was pinned by
Horowitz with a Thesz Press.

2) MARTY JANNETTY vs. DR ISAAC YANKEEM: Jannetty usually puts on a
pretty good show, but this was yet another sleeper. Yankem wins with
a roll up, and a hand full of trunks.

3) BOB HOLLY vs. GOLDUST: Lots of heat for GoldDust in this match,
but I'm not sure it was a good kind of heat. Most fans seemed
disgusted with his antics, and chanted things that cannot be
repeated in this article. GoldDust has talent, but that
unfortunately is being forgotten by many. Goldustin wins with the
reverse DDT slam.

4) HOG vs. BROOKLYN BRAWLER: I thought matches this bad were only
shown on PPV'S. HOG with the win.

5) HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. SAVIO VEGA: The WWF proved it was
getting "hardcore" in this match as HHH whipped Savio with a belt
(He's hardcore!!! He's hardcore!!!). Savio returned the favor, and
got the win via DQ.

INTERMISSION: Since when do they have a steel cage match in the
MIDDLE of a show.

6) DIESEL vs. BRET HART (Steel Cage match): The dreaded WWF blue
cage was ready to go as Bret and BDC went back and forth in this
one. A very short match as Bret climbs out of the cage for the win.
Diesel has the last word as he hits Bret after the match with a
chair. This match had the biggest pop of the night, and a very mixed
reaction by the crown. Everyone loved Bret, while Diesel had many
cheers and boos going his way

INTERMISSION: Again? I feel the temptation to buy a foam finger, but
resist.

7) RAD RADFORD (sub for Dean Douglas), vs. AHMED JOHNSON: Rad lost
the posedown and the match. Another squash as Ahmed hits the Tiger
Bomb.

8) RAZOR RAMON vs. 123 KID: I sense someone had an injury in this
one as Razor wins in under 3 minutes. This was my first chance to
see the 123 Kid live, and didn't see much of anything from him.
Razor on the other hand dominated the Kid (a local WWF TV ad had him
being billed as the Million Dollar Kid). GoldDust came out during
the match to expose his chest for Razor. (insert Sideshow Bob sound
effect here)

9) BRITISH BULLDOG & OWEN HART vs. SMOKIN' GUNNS: Davey and Owen
actually seemed to be having fun in this match. They were pretty
relaxed, and seemed to gel well together. Gunns get the pin to
retain their Tag Title that no one remembers they have.

10) YOKOZUNA vs. UNDERTAKER: Yes! No casket! Unfortunately no Jim
Cornette or Mr. Fuji either. I've seen it 100 times over, but this
match still entertains me. Undertaker with the win.

Overall, kind of a slow night of no action. I'm not sure who runs
the sound (WWF or T&M), but it was almost embarrassing how I could
not tell one theme song to another. My friend thought they were
actually playing music from the band BUSH all night.

Next live event in Las Vegas will be the two day festival of love &
peace, otherwise known as NITRO and the CLASH of CHAMPIONS on
January 22 & 23rd. Anyone looking for ticket info can e-mail me at
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING .

ECW HOLIDAY HELL TOUR in GLENOLDEN, PA 12/29/95 By ERIC STONE
After missing the 12/9 ECW Arena show due to bad weather, my brother
and I decided to attend the opening show of the Holiday H3ll Tour in
Glenolden. After getting lost twice, we arrived at the Briarcliffe
Fieldhouse between 6:00 and 6:15. There was a very short line in
front of us. A guy was walking around selling tickets and it turned
out that there were still front row seats available! We forked over
$20 apiece for front row seats. This would be my first time ever
sitting up front and I was obviously very excited. The only fun part
about standing outside was these five ten-year old kids who were
smoking, cursing, and bragging about how they'd kick the wrestlers'
@ss and funny stuff like that. They let us in around 6:45. It was a
high school gym, I believe, but it was a very good place to watch
wrestling. At about 7:15, these around five guys came and sat down
in the second row. 911 was talking to fans and taking pictures with
fans on the other side of the gym. These guys were saying stuff
like, "Wow, that guy is huge, do you think he's a wrestler?" and
"That guy is like 8 foot tall, or something!" After about 3 minutes
of listening to that, a security guard came over and told the guys
they were in the wrong seats. Thankfully, they moved away and the
show began. These results are done from memory, so if something is
wrong, I'm sorry.

Match #1: Taz w/Bill Alfonso beat Don E Allen by submission. Very
quick squash. I'm happy to see Fonsie as a manager now instead of
causing screw-jobs in the main event. Taz is great in his new heel
character.

Before the wrestlers were introduced for the second match, referee
John "Pee Wee" Moore entered the ring to ref. I was hoping that this
would be a 911 "match" but I was not that lucky.

Match #2: Nakagawa pinned El Puerto Ricano with a German suplex.
Nakagawa got no reaction coming out. Very good match but way too
short. Ricano hit his springboard moonsault.

Match #3: Bubba Ray Dudley and DW Dudley beat Bad Crew. Bubba said
his name but didn't dance :-(I don't remember too much about the
match because I was lucky enough to have the lovely Lady Alexandra
right in front of me the whole match :-), That more than makes up
for Bubba Ray not dancing. At some point during the match, one of
the Bad Crew took my brother's chair, but afterwards, DW returned
it.

Match #4: Hack Myers pinned JT Smith with the top rope move where
JT's head is between Hack's legs and Hack falls to the mat. I have
no clue what that move is called. Hack was scheduled to face Steve
Austin but I guess that Vince didn't want him to work for ECW since
he already debuted. JT was on offense for most of the match which
meant that he was doing the job at the end. JT didn't screw up
during the match itself, but crotched himself on the top rope while
leaving the ring afterwards. I am happy to see that his screwing up
gimmick is being phased down.

Match #5: Eliminators beat Pitbulls after their leg sweep/spinning
kick finisher. The Heavenly Bodies were scheduled to face the
Pitbulls but I guess that Vince didn't want Tom Pritchard who also
debuted at the last tapings to work for ECW, either. Pee Wee was the
ref. for this match and I started a one man "911" chant before the
wrestlers came out which he heard. He looked at me and started
motioning no with his hands. I put my hand in the air and he kept on
motioning no. I thought it was pretty funny except my brother and I
were the only two sitting around us who knew what I was referring
to. Anyway, Pee Wee was during the match, Raven came out while he
was down but was chased away. Pitbulls hit SuperBomb but Pee Wee was
still out. That meant that the Roid Boys were doing the job in the
end, which they did. The smaller Eliminator that doesn't look like
Diesel bladed during the match.

Match #6: 2 Gold Scorpio pinned Johnny Grunge with his 1 ½ flip off
the top rope. This was surprisingly good! It was a brawl around
ringside and after being hit with a chair in the ring, Grunge
bladed. I actually saw him place the blade in his knee pads after
blading. I don't think he'll have to worry about someone seeing him
blade a month from now, though. If I wasn't looking for it like I
always do during his matches, I probably wouldn't have seen it.
There was no screw-job ending which was good. However, in all of the
matches I've seen Grunge in, he's never shown too much wrestling
ability. He had a chance to show what he can do in this match
against a great worker in Scorpio but it was more of a brawl. I
really wonder what will happen to him next month in WCW.

Intermission: I went to the ticket table and bought tickets for the
1/5 Arena show. Standing on one side of the table was El Puerto
Ricano. I went up to him and congratulated him on a good match. I
said that I was hoping the match would go longer and he told me he
was injured so he couldn't work for too long. He said when he is
healthy, look for him to receive a bigger push and actually start
winning matches. I asked if we could see a Ubas/Sabu match in the
near future and he said that it depended on how much they built him
up. He told me his name was Pablo. I was about to ask him what Sabu
thought of him once wrestling as Ubas and if he has been working on
his fire extinguisher skills but some of his friends came over and
started talking about personal things so I said good-bye. Really
nice guy and I hope that he will be healthy soon so we can see what
he can do.

Match #7: 911 pinned Bruiser Mastino. Here's the blow-by-blow
description of this match. They have a stare down in the middle of
the ring. Mastino hits 911, but 911 doesn't sell. 911 picks him up
and choke slams him. 1-2-3. No pop for 911 before or after match. I
really wish they didn't have him teaming with Misterio next week.
Unfortunately, Pee Wee was not ref. for this match.

Match #8: Tommy Dreamer and Mikey Whipwreck defeated Raven and Steve
Richards when Mikey pinned Richards with a splash off the top rope.
Beulah and Blue Meanie were in the heel team's corner. Stips for the
match were falls count anywhere. Started off as a regular tag match
with Raven tagging out whenever Dreamer was in. Quickly escalated
into a wild brawl. Raven took my brother's chair and used it on
Dreamer who was about to spank Beulah. This went all over the
building and for a while, 2 guys were on my side and the other 2
guys were on the other side. At some point, all 4 were on the other
side of the building. I didn't follow them around because usually in
these types of matches, 2 guys are on either side entertaining the
crowd. When they were on the other side, I stopped hearing people
screaming and chairs falling so I'm assuming that all four were in
the parking lot for a couple of minutes. When the action spilled
back into the ring, Raven and Richards laid out Mikey and Dreamer
and told Blue Meanie to moonsault the two of them at once. They were
touching his @ss on the way up to the top rope, sort of "helping"
him up. It took so long for him to get to the top rope, Dreamer and
Mikey revived and KO'D Richards and Raven, all without the Meanie
knowing what was going on. They set up Richards for the moonsault,
and touched Meanie's @ss to let him think that the faces were still
below. Meanie moonsaulted Richards and Mikey splashed Richards from
the top rope for the pin. Very entertaining match, and I liked the
finish. The Lucha Libre ring announcer gave my brother his chair
afterwards.

Match #9: Sabu defeated Rocco Rock. Rocco came to the ring first,
and the ECW Fan Cam captured me waving my arms. I am in the Redskins
jacket and Cactus Jack T-shirt for all who care. Sabu did not have
entrance music, so the Fan Cam guy did not know when he was coming
out. Fan Cam was standing in the area between the aisle where the
wrestlers come to the ring and the ring. Instead of sliding under
the bottom ropes, Sabu went to slide but hit the Fan Cam guy instead
of arriving in the ring. It was very funny. Sabu then slapped the
guy a few times. Dreads, who was in attendance, threw a fit when
that happened because Sabu didn't slide under the ropes. Match was a
disappointment as I will explain later. They were pacing for a 20+
minute match early on. Rocco draped Sabu over the ropes with a
suplex right on top of me. I was able to hear Sabu moan, "Oh, my
stomach." And this whole time, I thought he didn't speak any English
<g>, Decent ring-work by both quickly turned into a brawl. Sabu
threw 2 nice planchas during the match. Rocco had Sabu set up on a
table outside the ring and began to run to the ropes like he was
going to somersault over the ropes threw the table. Sabu got up and
Rocco saw that so he didn't break the table. A little later on, Sabu
had Rocco on the table and Sabu was preparing to do the same move
that he broke the table with during the Hack Myers "November to
Remember" match but Rocco moved and Sabu saw that. Finally, Sabu did
a slingshot legdrop on Rocco who was set up on a table, but the
table didn't break from what I saw. Match went back into the ring
and Rocco hit a German suplex. 1-2-3. What the h3ll just happened?
The match was probably less than 10 minutes old, and the finish has
already came!!! I was pissed but then Rocco got up and hit a perfect
plex but the ref. wouldn't count. Rocco was announced as the winner
but a minute later, the decision was reversed. The two then brawled
around the building using trash cans and gimmicks. They even went
into the men's room. I tried to imagine what it would be like going
to the bathroom and all of a sudden having Rocco and Sabu come in.
They then brawled to the locker room. I was able to follow most of
their post-match brawl which was fun. On the way home, I realized
that this was not the planned finish of the match. They were pacing
for a much longer match and if it was supposed to be short, they
would not have teased the table breaking and not used rest-holds in
the opening minutes. Another reason is right after the 3 count,
Rocco executed the perfect plex which is not a move which one would
use to start a post-match brawl. It was only supposed to be a
near-fall. The post-match brawl was just to give the fans their
moneys worth. In addition, Rocco's shoulders were not on the mat so
how could he lose? I don't remember who the ref. was, (not Pee Wee,
one of the other two), but I really wish that the ref. would
remember what the real finish is and count to 2 on near-falls, not
3.

Match #10: Sandman defeated Cactus Jack. Cactus' music played and
the whole song went by, but Cactus did not come out. Sandman's music
played but he didn't come out for a bit, either. Then I heard cheers
behind me, so I turned around and Sandman came through the gym
entrance to arrive at the ring. He walked through the crowd to get
there. Pretty cool. My brother and I put our chairs out for Sandman
and Woman but they walked right by us which pissed me off for a
moment until I found out he had a reason for doing that. He got in
the ring, and said that there is a wrestler who doesn't want him to
drink beer before a match. He said that Cactus is that wrestler but
he'll drink the beer, anyway. He took a Bud Light and did one of his
longer chugs in the center of the ring. Usually, Sandman chugs the
beer while on the chairs outside the ring, but he needed to save the
beer for a little angle. Cactus comes out and does an interview
kissing the fans' @sses. He said that Sandman might have his cane,
but he has cookie sheets and frying pans. He wanted everyone to
chant "He's Hardcore" at him. It looks like Heyman has turned
Cactus' character a complete 360 degrees in the past six months or
so. I was surprised that most of the crowd was rooting for Cactus,
but I guess that since he was in WCW for a bit they recognized him.
Match started with clean breaks. Cactus started a "He's Hardcore"
chant after breaking clean. Match went into the crowd. I was able to
follow these two easily. They used a trash can on each other,
chairs, and both took bumps with a coat rack on wheels which was
interesting. Went back into the ring. When Sandman had control, he
was asking "He's hardcore?????" after every chair shot. Ref. was
bumped, Raven comes in and holds Sandman but Jack hit Raven. Raven
left the ring area. Eventually, Cactus does a clean job for Sandman.
Raven runs in and they beat on Sandman until 2 Gold makes the save.
Woman and 2 Gold revive Sandman with a cigarette which was exactly
like what happened to the Sandman after his dueling canes match with
Dreamer last year.

Overall, this was a very good show. This was my first ECW event
outside of the Arena. I wouldn't have gone if the Fieldhouse wasn't
a half hour away from me but now I plan on going out of my way more
to attend smaller shows like this one.

ECW AT LOST BATTALION HALL - QUEENS, NY Dec. 29, 1995 by BRETT
"CACTUSB" SCHWAN
I must start this report by thanking Ron "Rich" Beider who risked
his life tape recording all match results making it possible for me
to write this report.

We arrived in Queens at 5:30. Unfortunately, it took us until 6:00
to find the Lost Battalion Hall!

After finding a parking space about 3 blocks away, we (Costa, Ron,
and myself), headed out to buy some film (so MadDog could take
advantage of me and have more photos for the web page). As we walked
the streets we came across Mikey Whipwreck and Beulah. Later,
Sandman walked out of Burger King and waved to the crowd standing on
line at the hall.

We finally headed in at 7:15 and proceeded to our front row seats.
The card began, late as usual, when Joey Styles entered the ring. He
did his usual speech in which he put down the WCW and WWF. Next,
Paul E. Dangerously came out to welcome everyone to "New F'n York."
He then announced that he had bad news and good news. The bad news
is as follows: "The Heavenly Bodies have split up." (At this point
the crowd began chanting p sy to which Paul E. responded by saying
don't call Eric Bischoff by name). The Heavenly BullSh!ts were not
going to be on the card because they went to the WWF so everyone
could either get a refund or stick around for a huge surprise. Bad
news number two . . . "Superstar Steve Austin has decided that since
he can't beat the Sandman for the belt, that he is going to be
presented with the Million Dollar Belt in the WWF. For the record,
we had the option of fulfilling or promise to you by bringing that
!@#$%@! out here. But fortunately , I don't think he could suck the
Sandman's d!#k out here." Paul E. went on to say the winner of the
Raven Tommy Dreamer match would get the title shot at Sandman and
there would be a surprise team for the PE.

This show was taped for television.

Joey Styles started the show when Steve Austin and the Blue Meanie
came into the ring. Stevie started talking when he noticed Missy
Hyatt sitting at ringside. He went out to talk to her and she gave
him a huge kiss and told him to bring that back to Raven.

No match ratings this time. You'll know which matches sucked and
which did not.

Match #1: Toji Nakagawa (SP?), vs. Taz w/Bill Alfonso
Taz, as usual, dominated the match winning in about 2 minutes with
the chokehold.

Match #2: JT Smith v Hack Meyers
This match is a regular at most Arena shows. The match ends when
Smith goes for a moonsault, slips on his head, Hack picks him up and
goes for the knee off the top rope.

Match #3: Too Gold Scorpio v Mikey Whipwreck.
This match was for the TV Title and the Tag Team titles.
As Too Gold made his way around the ring I was chanting Whoop, you
suck! He turned around and told me "Yeah, a lot of Pu$$y". (First
highlight of my night), This match was not as good as I thought it
could be. Scorpio decided he was going to do his tumbleweed from all
four turnbuckles. He finished the first three with no problems. When
he went for the fourth, the ref. got in the way and Mikey was pushed
on top of him. Scorpio came off of the top rope, Mikey moved, and
Scorpio nailed referee Finnegan. Cactus Jack ran out from the
dressing room, DDT'd Scorpio and the ref. made the three count.
Mikey is the new TV and tag team champion. Cactus Jack grabbed one
of the belts and declared himself co holder of the tag titles. Mikey
looked confused, as usual, but said nothing to Cactus.

Match #4: Eliminators w/ Jason v PitBulls w/Francine
Francine as usual looked AMAZING! This match was the best of the
night. These two teams work their @sses of every match and never
seem to disappoint the crowd. Saturn and Cronus are the first to
juice tonight. The match goes back and forth, in and out of the
ring. The ending comes when the ref. is distracted and Pitbulls get
pinned.

Match #5: Raven v Tommy Dreamer
Stevie comes out to announce that Raven broke his leg and can't
wrestle. Tommy DDT's and pins both Stevie and Meanie before Raven
attacked. Both men juiced like crazy. At one point, Dreamer hung
Raven upside-down from the turnbuckle and nailed him in the groin
ten times with his fist. Meanie, Richards, and Beulah all interfered
in this match at one point. In the end, Raven nailed Dreamer with a
DDT winning the match and earning a title shot against Sandman.

Match #6: El Puerto Ricano (Ubas), v Bruiser Mastino (Mantaur)
Bruiser Mastino wins but doesn't stop pounding Ubas. 911 comes out
and chokeslams Mastino. Alfonso comes out to stop 911. As 911 is
about to chokeslam Alfonso, Tod Gordon runs out and takes down
Alfonso. Taz runs to the ring to make the save. A lot of pushing and
shoving takes place until 911 and Taz are standing face to face in
the center of the ring. Before they can lock up the Dudleys, Steve
Richards, Blue Meanie, Hack Meyers, JT Smith and several others come
out to break it up.

Match #7: Buh Buh Ray Dudley vs. Blue Meanie
Buh Buh is over huge with the crowd. He does his little dance before
the match begins. For two huge men these two do some amazing moves.
Buh Buh wins with a splash off the top rope. After the match Big
Dick chokeslammed Meanie after the match.

Match #8: Raven v Sandman w/Woman
This match was for the Heavyweight title. The match started off with
neither man gaining an advantage. They brawled out of the ring,
right in front of us. Sandman picked up Raven for a Stun Gun but
dropped him over the guard rail instead. This caused Raven to land
directly on Ron's lap with his boot nailing Ron in the head. Sandman
then climbed onto the ring apron and leaped over the guard rail and
onto Raven! When Richards decided to interfere, (after the ref. took
another bump), Woman went into the ring and started caning
everybody! God I love that Woman!!! She beat on Stevie then went
after Raven who seemed to feel nothing. Just as Raven went to grab
Woman, Sandman nailed him. Dreamer then ran down to the ring and
caned everybody (except Woman), and piledrove Beulah. The ref. woke
up in time to see Sandman pinning Raven to retain his title. This
match was amazing because I have never seen anyone take a bump like
Ron did tonight. THAT'S HARDCORE!!

Match #9. Public Enemy v The Gangstas
I was disappointed in this "surprise" because I have never liked the
Gangstas. This match went all over the building and used all kinds
of weapons. In the end, the Gangstas won when they pinned Rocco. The
crowd stated chanting "You sold out" and the PE left. This was the
last match in PE match in ECW that I will see. Sorry, but I was not
at all impressed. However, I do wish Ted Petty and Johnny Grunge the
best of luck in WCW, they brought us some of the greatest tag
matches in the history of this sport and will be greatly missed.

Match #10: Sabu v Cactus Jack
Cactus grabbed the mic and gave a long story about some kid in a
wheel chair before he announced that this match would follow college
rules. Pee Wee Moore was the referee and gave the rules to Sabu and
Jack. 911 came down and chokeslammed Pee Wee twice, grabbed the mic
and said he would be the ref. The two men brawled all over the
building. At one point, a pint of rice hit Sabu in the head. Tables
were broken and chairs were used to perform moves I could not do
justice to by describing. At one point Cactus lost it and started
screaming and pounding on Sabu. Sabu hit Cactus with the Arabian
Face Buster off the top rope. The ending came when Cactus Jack
picked up Sabu for a slam and fell.

Overall, the card was an excellent debut. The crowd was very
enthusiastic. I was extremely disappointed in the Public Enemy match
but there's nothing I can do about it.

The announcer said Sandman would be taking Polaroids in the ring.
When he and Woman came out, the fans stormed the ring. Woman started
screaming for everyone to stay on the floor. If you didn't listen to
her she swung the cane at you. Woman was cracking jokes about how
she had bills to pay and $10 per picture isn't a lot when you have
to split it with Sandman. I laughed at this so she let me come in
for the next Polaroid. At this point, Sandman and Woman were about
to achieve god and goddess status in my eyes. As I held the title in
my left hand, Woman put her hand on my back and was patting it.
Sandman gave me his lighter and said "Light this". I lit the lighter
and then Sandman's cigarette as the cameraman took our picture.
(Soon to be seen in the GrandStand and on the WWW page :), Since I
was nervous, the lighter was shaking a little so Sandman said what
the h3ll are you nervous for. I said, who wouldn't be nervous
standing in the ring with Woman. She smiled, thanked me and rubbed
my back before I left the ring. These two are now the Gods of ECW.
(Sorry Tod).

WWF AT MERCER ARENA SEATTLE WASHINGTON 12-30-95 BY FALCON
While on vacation in Seattle I found out the WWF was going to be in
town for there World Tour De Force so as a wrestling fan I knew it
was my place to attend and bring you all the results.

I loaded up my brother and dad and we headed down to Mercer arena,
We had previously in the day picked up tickets at the local Tower
records, the seats were for section 80 row B great I thought
nosebleed, but after arriving at the arena around 7:15  I found our
seats and realized they were not that bad , the place only holds
about 6000, but I would guess the crowd to be 4000-4500. The arena
is very similar to the arena in Knoxville where Smoky mountain used
to run. The wrestlers enter from the south end of the building where
the have a giant curtain hanging from one end of the building to
another. I immediately noticed that this was a scaled down
production of the WTDeforce there was no pyro, no TV wall and no
fancy lighting. Ticket prices were $20, $16, and $11. we had the $16
seats. This was the last show before the new years break. Now hang
onto your jockstrap it is time for the review.

At 7:25 the ring announcer Bill comes out and announces something
about a fire code and that this is a smoke free building,
immediately out runs Mr.Bob Backlund who isn't even scheduled to be
here, he comes out and gets the crowd going, my guess is it was to
make the people in the lobby come in and take their seats so they
don't miss anything important. Bill then introduces the WWFtour
cheerleader Gordon who basically was there to give stuff away and
find a guest ring announcer and guest manager. Then we have our
glorious national anthem.

Match # 1 Skip of the BodyDonnas (without Sunny) and Mr. Bob
Backlund vs.  Barry Horowitz and Fatu  (Fatu was the only 1 of the 4
scheduled to be here):
The match started with a lot of little comedy bits highlighted with
Fatu telling Bob to Kiss his A**.Skip gets in a nice running DDT off
the ropes on Fatu who no sells and pops right up. A good opening
match with Barry getting the win with a perfect plex on skip. after
the match we got to see Fatu dance to Barry's music. The guys got
rhythm.(**1/2)(*1/2 for match *extra because it is nice to see
Horowitz get the victory.)

Match # 2 Brooklyn Brawler vs. HOG: 
This was basically a squash HOG won with the Slop Drop the crowd was
into it chanting SSSSEEWWIIIIEEEEE throughout the match. After the
match Brawler stole the slop and was walking to the back HOG saw
what was going on and ran after him took the lop back and got him in
the aisle.(*)

Match # 3 Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. SkAwVaInOg VtEnGtA:
This match started out with about five minutes of scientific
technical wrestling HHH then started to play dirty , got in a nice
swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count HHH went to second rope , referee
Earl Hebner started the count , HHH counted along with him and when
he got to four jumped off right into Savio's boot chin first. Then
after Slopio got up he whip HHH into the ropes and gave him the
sloppiest spin kick I have ever seen Savio didn't even come off the
ground. Savio goes for the pin gets 2. Somehow HHH gets his belt off
and starts Beating on Savio. Ref. DQ's him and HHH Bells Savio by
the neck with his belt and leaves. Savio recovers and gets the belt
and looks for HHH.(**)

Match # 4 Bob "spark plug" Holly vs. GoldDust
Even without the fancy lighting and goldflakes Dustin's entrance was
spectacular. He is really doing this fruit character well. The match
itself was a bit of comedy Holly got in a few slaps on Dustin's A**
and it made me start to wonder about holly's character. One thing I
did notice is Dustin needs to purchase an athletic supporter his new
outfit really lets you know his religion. Dustin won the match with
the front suplex thing he does.(***)(*1/2 for the match*1/2 just
because it takes a huge set of charmers to play that GoldDust
character.)

Match # 5 Owen Hart & Isaac Yankem DDS vs. The Smoking Guns
The First thing I noticed about the guns is that both brothers now
sport a Stan Lane haircut and they have both shaved their mustaches.
The match started with Billy and Owen, Billy had Owen in an armbar
and Owen was trying to get to the ropes , he got to his feet and was
running around the ring trying to make any rope , he was going
pretty fast and the next thing you know he is airborne , flying in a
circle , connected to Billy . Billy let go and Owen went flying.
Billy tagged in Bart and they execute a nice double Russian leg
sweep. Yankem comes in and breaks up pin attempt, then Owen does the
worst snap mare I have ever seen, on Bart, he landed in the top of
his head, they work a resthold for about five minutes-then we get a
false tag, they work that for a while then comes the hot tag. Now we
have a four way it was confusing but the outcome was predictable,
Bart rolls up Yankem after a cross body from the top rope(**1/2)

Intermission
Before the intermission they announce it is now time to set up the
steel cage for our main event???????? Main event , I thought that
was supposed to be last, Oh well , anything can happen in the WWF.
The highlight of intermission was listening to some lady built like
Savio Vega telling her friend all about her blind date with another
female went the previous night , this was in line for soft drinks
within earshot of anyone who cared to listen.

Match # 6 Main Event-Inside a Steel Cage Big Daddy Cool Diesel vs.
Bret "HitMan" Hart
Diesel entered the arena first, he got the biggest pop of the night,
his new attitude really fits him. As soon as he got in the ring he
stretched out and he could reach over the top of the cage. Out comes
Bret, This was your basic Bret hart cage match I am sure most
everyone has seen one so I wont bore you with all the details. The
outcome was predictable, the door was opened for Diesel at the same
time Bret Went over the top , Bret landed first. We have a winner!!
Now here is where the fun starts, Diesel is highly upset because he
thinks he should have been the winner, he goes over and picks up
Bret , who is still lying on the ground from his victorious fall to
the floor, Diesel picks him up and gives him a ring post for his
efforts. Then Diesel takes Bret back into the ring , he was going to
give Bret the jackknife but Bret would have no part of it, he just
dropped to his knees and became dead weight. This upset Diesel, who
was being threatened by Earl Hebner, He went for it again and Bret
did the same thing. Finally Diesel gave him a stiff clothesline and
left him laying in the middle of the ring. Diesel picked up the WWF
belt and through it down next to Bret. The whole time Diesel was
getting cheered. When Bret finally got up he got more boo's then
cheers.(***)(*1/2 for match*1/2 for after match festivities)

Intermission # 2 The cage must fall.

Match # 7 Rad Radford vs. Ahmed Johnson
Rad started out with his poses and stretching (a la Bodydonna), this
went on for about five minutes while the human statue Ahmed just
stands in the middle of the ring and stared at him, finally they
locked up, Rad backed Ahmed into the corner, Ahmed got cheap shotted
, didn't sell walked right out to the center, whipped Rad back into
the corner, Rad stumbled out, and into the Tiger Bomb, 1,2,3 it is
over.(*)

Match # 8 123 Kid vs. Razor Ramon
The Kid has new music, I think it is the music from the old WWF
Wrestlemania Nintendo game, the music that plays when you select
your character. The kid was announced as weighing 214 lb. When he
got to the ring he made the announcer correct his weight to 241 lb.
This match was just like all the others they have had with Razor
dominating throughout. Razor wins With the Razors edge. After the
match the Kid is out cold, he gets picked up by the Ref. and the kid
raises his hand in victory, he then falls flat on his A**. He is
still out so the Ref. rolls him to the edge of the mat and the Kid
just rolled on out of the ring and hit the floor hard. The Ref.
carried him to the back (**)

Match # 9 Yokozuna vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer
Yoko entered the ring first, He was announced as being from the
Polynesian Islands but representing the country of Japan. Then the
lights went out, except for a spotlight on Yokozuna, this seemed to
bother Yoko who was making signals at the spotlight guy to turn that
thing off , he didn't , he decided he should put the spotlight on
the Undertaker instead, totally killing the entrance. Where is Mr.
Fuji ? During the Undertakers entrance my Dad, who doesn't know
anything about wrestling asked me which one was the undertaker, the
tall guy or the little fat one(Paul Bearer).The Undertaker looks
pretty cool in the mask. This was also a basic match that if you
have seen one you have seen them all, undertaker won with a flying
clothesline off the top rope.(**)

Overview All in all not a bad card nine matches for $16 when you
only got six for $20 at the last In your House. The guys seemed a
little lazy tonight, maybe because this was the last night of the
tour, I don't know, But this was an enjoyable evening, and was worth
the trip. I will be attending the Monday Night Raw taping in
Cincinnati on February 19th and I will give you a complete report on
that.

WWF SUPERSTARS 12/30/95 BY TRACEY PORTER
WHAT YOU MISSED: YEAR END REVIEW! Look at BIGELOW/LAWRENCE
TAYLOR match-up . . . Look at BRET HART/JERRY LAWLER "Kiss my foot
match" . . . BRET HART/BOB BACKLUND submission match . . . Look at
BRET HART in 1995 . . . Slam Jam w/DOK Look at RAZOR RAMON in 1995 .
. . Look at GOLDUST . . . Look at JEFF JARRETT . . . Look at
UNDERTAKER . . . Look at DIESEL . . . Slam Jam w/DOK . . . Look at
SHAWN MICHAELS . . . SHAWN MICHAELS music video . . . NEXT WEEK:
AHMED JOHNSON vs. JERRY LAWLER, also SKIP vs. RAD RADFORD, and an
interview w/ RAZOR RAMON . . . !

ECW IN READING, PA 12/30/95 by MADDOGJMF
It was a Saturday, a weird Saturday at that. Got up early to
the sound of my 14 month old niece sitting in her high chair in our
kitchen. I walked into the kitchen and she immediately pointed the
sky and screamed "SABU!" So it was a typical day so far . . . :)
Managing editor RYAN CUNNINGHAM drove up from Virginia to meet
a my house by 1 or so. We spent most of the next couple of hours
scanning various photos from his wrestling collection (yes, look for
them soon on Grandstand web and AOL sites), and trying to kill each
other with the worst teams in football on John Madden Football '96
for the Sega Genesis.
We left the house sort of late and stopped at a local mall for
dinner and then embarked on a journey for Reading, PA and the ECW.
I've been to Reading once before in my life, and goodness knows that
(as Ryan can attest), I've remembered none of it, especially when we
were driving the wrong way to the arena on the wrong side of town.
Eventually got to the show and was immediately thankful that I
took my tiny Justy as we needed to get into the world's smallest
parking space. If the ECW is going to continue to use this place,
I'd suggest that they FIND MORE PARKING -- fast! *Especially* if
they're going to be drawing good sized crowds.
The line wrapped around the building but we were lucky enough
to run into a guy I went to school with and were able to cut in
line. He has my eternal thanks because it was FREEZING out there and
the crowd did not like waiting outside and were on the verge of
lighting something on fire to keep warm.
So with that preamble out of the way we got inside the arena
and found seats in the Bleachers on the far side of the arena. We
were almost immediately joined by MEWF Timekeeper and all around
nice guy JEFF AMDUR, and settled in for a night of good wrestling,
ECW style.
The first match came after the announcement that the crowd was
forbidden to throw stuff in the ring, and that MIKEY WHIPWRECK took
both the TV Belt and 1/2 of the ECW Tag Titles from TOO COLD SCORPIO
the night before in Queens, NY.
MATCH ONE: THE WRESTLER FORMERLY KNOWN AS UBAS vs. SABU. Some
good stuff from both guys, but you UBAS is going to need years of
training and therapy to match Sabu's skills. Sabu wins with a leg
drop over the ropes.
This match was followed by BUBBA RAY DUDLEY and the inept SIGN
GUY DUDLEY coming down to the ring. TOO COLD SCORPIO followed him
out and the proceeded to have a dance off. Bubba Ray had the crowd
behind him, but Too Cold won with a superkick.
This led to MATCH TWO: BUBBA RAY & DW DUDLEY vs. THE BAD CREW.
The Bad Crew came out with manager DAMIAN KANE and valet LADY
ALEXANDRIA. Lady Alexandria was in a skimpy outfit and the crowd
responded to this by chanting "BUBBA'S GOT A WOODY," leading to
Bubba asking "Wu-wu-wu-wu-what's a woody?" Comedy dominated the
early goings and the end came when Bubba was distracted by Lady
Alexandria while the Bad Crew double-teamed and pinned DW.
MATCH THREE: MIKEY WHIPWRECK successfully defended his ECW TV
Title to FMW'S NAKAMURA (SP).
MATCH FOUR: THE PUBLIC ENEMY vs. THE GANGSTAS. THE PE got the
win in their last match in Reading as MUSTAFA accidentally hit NEW
JACK and JOHNNY GRUNGE rolled up New Jack for the win. It was a
decent match, but toned way down for the Reading crowd.
MATCH FIVE: HACK MYERS got a DQ win over JT "THE ITALIAN
STALLION" SMITH when BRUISER MASTINO interfered. 911 came out and
chokeslammed JT and Bruiser, leading to BILL ALFONSO coming out and
screaming at him (we couldn't tell what he was saying because of
audio problems). This lead to TOD GORDON storming the ring and we
almost had another round of TOD vs. FONZIE but TAZ came out and we
had TAZ and 911 going at it instead.
MATCH SIX: THE PITBULLS (billed as "THE ORIGINAL MADDOGS OF
WAR"), vs. THE ELIMINATORS. Pits win in the standard match between
the two. I did notice that FRANCINE needs some new outfits, and I'm
sure there are thousands of guys out there who'd max out their
credit cards buying her new leathers . . . ;)
MATCH SEVEN: STEVE RICHARDS and THE BLUE MEANIE came down next
and announced that TOMMY DREAMER had been "severely hurt" in Queens
the night before. Dreamer came out and proved them wrong as he got
an easy win with a DDT.
MATCH EIGHT: THE SANDMAN & TOO COLD SCORPIO vs. RAVEN & CACTUS
JACK. Cactus came out and said that his new title (as he proclaimed
himself 1/2 of he tag team champs the night before with Mikey), was
"YOUR TITLE" and led chants of "I'M HARDCORE." I had flashbacks of
those "Where's CACTUS segments because THIS WAS NOT THE CACTUS JACK
I KNOW! :(Cactus even left the ring and brought out MIKEY WHIPWRECK
to stand at ringside then passed out a pan of brownies that he said
he baked himself.
Meanwhile, BUELAH, Steve Richards, and Blue Meanie were
immediately joined by Bill Alphonso at ringside, who took the mic
and said that Mikey had to stay at ringside and back his partner
during this match. Mikey didn't like this one bit, and liked it even
less when the Blue Meanie and Richards put make-up on his face (he
was Mikey the Meanie), and picked on him at ringside during the
match.
Decent match with Raven & Cactus getting the win when Sandman
accidentally hit Too Cold over the head with his cane to set up the
pinfall. After the match Too Cold got in the Sandman's face and the
two got in some shoves before The Sandman gave Too Cold his cane and
turned his back. Too Cold raised the cane but lowered it as the
Sandman turned around and the two hugged and shared a beer to end
the card.
We waited around to get a word with the immortal TOD GORDON
after the card but decided to get out of there and try to make our
way out of the parking lot and back to the road home before someone
ran over my car on the way out of the lot. The events of chaos that
followed in the parking lot (guys in trucks blocking *both* exits),
and the chaos of my direction sensing abilities leading us far and
away from anything even RESEMBLING the way we came in, are stories
for another time
Overall, it was a good show even though there was more comedy
in the matches than on a normal ECW show. I really like the
atmosphere of the Bodyslammer's Gym/arena/whatever. The crowd was
friendly and wasn't as jaded as the Philly crowds can get. I was
amazed that people actually HELPED EACH OTHER OUT in the parking lot
when cars got stuck in the ice. Inside I was more amazed as we
didn't have to stand up the whole night thanks to the smart security
crew who kindly asked those in the front row to sit down when they
were blocking the view -- and the people SAT DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!
If someone can fix the horrible sound system, find a way to
clear out the parking lots in an orderly fashion, and teach the
concession stand guys that ROOT BEER does not equal DIET COKE,
Reading might be a very good home away from the ECW arena! :)

USWA Report 12/32/95 by KATHRYN D LIZENBY
On Today's show we found out that Scott Bowden is now the
manager of Tracy Smothers and Jesse James Armstrong, who are the Tag
team champs, Rock and Roll Express, and Tex Slazenger, who is the
USWA Champ.
Today's show opened up with Rock and Roll Express vs. PG-13
video clip.
Match 1: Hendrick Hines and Reggie B. Fine vs. PG-13 - PG-13
won
Koko b. Ware came out in street clothes saying that he called
Randy Hales and told him he would be in for a few weeks and he
wanted to be booked in the area. Randy never called him back. Lance
Russell interrupted him to start the match-up
Match 2: Tony Williams vs. Yellow Jacket - Tony Williams won,
but at the end of the match Koko came in and game both men the
"Brain Buster".
Match 3: Tex Slazenger vs. Doug Gilbert - Doug won by DQ.
Information wise, Lance said that Tex lives down the road from the
"Double Cross" Ranch which belongs to the Funks, Terry Funk. Doug
pinned Tex several times, but the ref. was out and Tracy Smothers
came out and attacked Doug. PG-13 came out with the save.
Next they showed highlights from Louisville Gardens this past
week where PG-13 beat Rock and Roll Express. they fought all the way
back to the dressing room after the match, and even attacking Randy
Hales.  In the dressing room area, Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy
Smothers attacked PG-13 as well, and then attacked Randy Hales too.
Ricky Morton knocked Wolfie down the steps. JC was cut open and
bleeding.
In an interview with PG-13 they said that they proved they were
the best because they won the match with Rock and Roll, but they
also said that what they did to hem was just a plain old a**
kicking, and they had never had their a** kicked before.
Next were highlights from "A Night to Remember", it showed
Jackie Fargo with the Fabulous ones, Lawler vs. Joe Leduc, and the
Battle Royal which Christopher won.
Match 4: Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Christopher - There was no
winner due to a time limit run out.

WCW vs. WWF #2 by Mike Peditto
I'm going to do the comparison just like PWI did it's comparison, so
here we go

Singles Champions:
WCW: Ric Flair, One Man Gang, Johnny B. Badd
WWF: Bret Hart, Razor Ramon, Steve Austin

I have to give this one to WWF. The reason is because One Man Gang
is the US champ.  OMG has no skill at all, why does he have a belt?
If you're going to give the title to someone, give it to someone
with some skill. I think that Austin is better than Badd, mainly
because Austin has had a lot more experience, and has held the WCW
US and TV titles before. As for Hart and Flair, I believe Flair is
way past his prime, while Hart is still young. That's it. WCW 0, WWF
1

TOP 10 Contenders:
WCW: Savage, Hogan, Sting, Luger, AA, Meng, Giant, Norton, OMG, Badd
WWF: Undertaker, Michaels, Diesel, Yokozuna, Ramon, Owen Hart, Ahmed
Johnson, HHH, GoldDust, Sid

I Say WWF gets this one because of Michaels, Hart, and HHH. These
guys are very hard workers. As for WCW, Sting and Badd work(maybe
Norton too), but that's it. If you look at the so called Powerhouses
in both federations, WWF seems to have more power (grunt grunt).
Also, in WCW, most of the guys in the top 10 are past their prime,
Savage and Hogan. WCW 0, WWF 2

Tag Teams:
WCW: Harlem Heat, American Males, Powers of Pain, Public Enemy,
Nasty Boys, Blue Bloods, State Patrol, and more!
WWF: Smoking Gunns & Body Donnas

Here's the deal: In the US, if a team does not have a name, they are
NOT a tag team. WWF takes two guys who are good singles wrestlers
and make them a tag team. I'm sorry Vince, you don't do that. I hope
that the Body Donnas win the Tag belts, because I like the Idea of
Chris Candido finally getting some wins in the WWF. As for WCW, 2
words: Public Enemy! WCW 1, WWF 2

Super Cards:
WCW: STARRCADE, all the rest just plain Suck!!
WWF: Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, SummerSlam and Survivor series, IYH
& KOTR don't count

Squash!! I admit, STARRCADE was a very good card, but that's all WCW
has! WWF has great cards in the big four, but IYH & KOTR just suck.
Question: Has there ever been a bad WrestleMania?? WCW 1, WWF 3

11-20 contenders:
WCW: Guerrero, Malenko, JL, DDP, Benoit, Pillman, Duggan, Orndorff,
Shark, Das Wunderkind Alex Wright
WWF: Hakushi, the Kid, Avatar, Skip, JJ, Austin, Boo Bradley,
Yankem, Savio, Rad Radford

I was going to give it to WCW, but now that I look at it, WWF don't
look that bad! I don't know who to give this to, so I'll call it a
tie. WCW 2, WWF 4

TV Production:
WWF: Raw and Superstars
WCW: Nitro, Saturday night, World Wide, and Pro

Hmmmmm. WCW 3, WWF 4

Outlook for the future:
What a sh!tty topic!
WCW: Malenko, Badd, Benoit, Pillman, TPE, Harlem Heat, Konnan,
Wright, Guerrero, Males,  Powers of Pain
WWF: Owen, JJ, Austin, Avatar, 123 kid, Hakushi, Donnas, Bret,
Yankem, GoldDust, HHH

The talent level is even between the two, but WCW wins for 2
reasons. (1) WWF only has one Tag Team that will last for a while,
The Body Donnas. While WCW has quite a few. (2), How many of the WWF
guys are getting the push that they deserve? 2, HHH and Austin. Most
of the WWF's true talent are JTTS's. WCW has a lot of people who are
getting pushes they don't deserve, like Hogan and OMG, but the TV
title is great because guys like Malenko, Guerrero, Badd, Wright,
and those guys who have talent are getting title shots. WCW 4, WWF 4

I'm going to make a few tie breaker topics:

Acquisitions:
WCW: TPE, Konnan, anymore?
WWF: Vader, Ultimate Warrior, JJ, Austin, Jake the Snake, Flip, Boo
Bradley, Buddy Landell

Although TPE and Konnan are extremely good (gee Extreme?), WWF has
acquired many more very talented wrestlers. WCW 4, WWF 5

Magazines:
WCW Mag: Sports Illustrated :: WWF Mag: Sports Illustrated for Kids
Vince Russo has screwed WWF magazine up big time! WCW 5, WWF 5

Merchandising:
WCW: Macho Glasses (silver Bret Hart glasses), Hogan Fingers(just
like the WWF ones), T-shirts
WWF: Hitman Glasses, Fingers, Hats, Belts, Urns, T-shirts, Michaels
glasses (quality), Gloves, more           useless stuff! and
Philadelphia's own Barry Didinsky!!!!!

Although WCW sells heel merchandise(Horsemen shirt), WWF does a far
better job with merchandise.
WCW 5, WWF 6

Announcers:
WCW: Chris Cruise, Heenan, Tennay, Rhodes(fire him!!), Bischoff,
McMichaels, Larry Z, Tony           Shivone<SP>, any more?
WWF: Dok Hayes, Pettingill, Ross, McMahon, Lawler, Perfect

WCW wins because 2 of WWF's announcers are current wrestlers.
Perfect is an announcer now because he will wrestle soon, and what
the h3ll is Lawler supposed to be? WCW 6. WWF 6

AND THE FINAL CATEGORY:
drum roll . . . 
Presidents:
WCW: Eric Bischoff
WWF: Linda McMahon

Although Linda McMahon is the legal president, we'll call the WWF
president Vince McMahon. You may not like Vince as an announcer, but
he is a good business man. His "Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' War
Room" was one of the funniest moments in wrestling. Bischoff copies
WWF, and don't dare say that he doesn't, and publicly mocks the WWF.
In the ECW, Joey Styles constantly mocks the WCW, but in a very
funny way. If the WCW made fun of the WWF in the way that they make
fun of WWF, it would be ok. I hate Bischoff with all of my heart,
and I have to give this one to the WWF. WCW 6, WWF 7

WINNER: WWF

Send all of your comments to the TPE wanna-be JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING .

HITTIN' 'EM HARD by Ez Hsiang
THE YEAR IN REVIEW. I read Maddog's Year In Review column from last
issue, and I decided to do my own. Here goes:

THE DISCO INFERNO DANCES INTO WCW When Disco Inferno made his
somewhat impressive debut at Fall Brawl with a win over Joey Maggs,
everyone thought of him as a soon-to-be-a-contender. About three
months and several upset losses to prelim bums, look at him now. "My
CD'S got great hits like 'Shake Your Booty', 'Shake Your Booty
Around The Clock', and the chart-busting 'It's Your Duty To Shake
Your Booty. At $59.99, it's a bargain!" said the second coming of
Bruno Sammartino. He's my choice for Rookie Of The Year, not for his
win-loss record, but for the humor he brings to the serious and
cruel federation. Every time I listen to his shtick, I crack up.
But, look at the consequences of his foolishness: because of their
wins over DI, Mark Starr and Chris Kanyon are making themselves to
look like the American Males, and Maggs is masquerading as the next
up-and-comer, complete with a new manager. Ugh! One more thing: if
the average price of a music CD is about $15, how could DI consider
$60 a bargain? I guess economics and business wasn't required for
graduation in his school. Hmmmm . . .

DIESEL: FROM WINNER TO WHINER.     Diesel's done this as WWF World
Champ. Diesel's done that. Diesel's done the other. Not too long
ago, we all thought Diesel would be the next WWF flag-bearer. Now
look at him. Did you see the way he attacked Bret Hart following
their Survivor Series match? We all shoulda known he was a sore
loser! Bret Hart? Now here's a man with class. He went through
almost a whole year wrestling mid-carders and getting verbal abuse
from us Internet users. He responded with a resounding win over
Diesel to capture his third World belt and his seventh WWF-owned
title. Yes, Bret has exemplified class and perseverance over the
past year. May his Christmas be merry and his new year be happy. As
for Diesel . . . well . . .

BAN BACKLUND! I think this one goes without saying. Since losing it
back in July of 1994, he has attacked many non-wrestlers for no good
reason. Announcer Jim Ross and a sound technician are the latest
victims. Yo, Gorilla, get the guy outta here! There's no need for
that kind of wanton violence! It's one thing for Hulk Hogan to
attack Dillinger, Nick, and Randy Anderson; those three officials
have been nothing but bad news to fans and fan-favorites in WCW.
It's another thing for Bob to attack guys who have committed no such
crimes. I know if I became WWF Pres., my first move would be fine
and ban the rat-bastard. Other than the Backlund situation, I think
Gorilla has done a decent job so far as WWF interim Pres.

THE 1995 YEAR-END 'EZZY' AWARDS.  The EZZY Wrestler Of The Year is
Bret Hart. Since losing his second WWF World Title to Backlund, Bret
has kept his skills sharp with wins over Jean-Pierre LaFitte, Jerry
Lawler, and Unibomb, and regained the title just about a month ago.
1996 will likely bring new and more difficult challenges for Bret,
but I have faith in the "Hit Man".
The EZZY Tag-Team Of The Year are the Smokin' Gunns. Upon their
WWF debut a couple years ago, the Gunns have worked hard climbing
the ladder of contention. In 1995, their hard work has paid off.
They've posted title wins over the 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly and Owen
Hart & Yokozuna, and wins over the Bruise Bros. and Razor & Kid.
Sure Harlem Heat has won 4 WCW Titles over the year, but they're not
as hospitable to the fans as the Gunns.
The EZZY Match Of The Year is Public Enemy vs. Sabu & Taz in a
Double Tables ECW Tag Title Match. Both teams worked very well
during this dangerous and hard-hitting match. Chris Benoit's
post-match attack on Sabu was also a nice touch.
The EZZY Rookie Of The Year is the Disco Inferno. Winner?
Hardly. Entertainer? Definitely. Listening to him hawk his dumb CD
(at an outrageous price, no less), while listening to Teddy Long
discuss work ethic had me laughing d@mn hard.
That's all for now. C-ya in 1996!

ON THE ROPES by JOE CROWE
This one's about what I would like to see in the new wrestling
year.
Somebody with a finisher *other* than a power bomb. Jeez,
Louise! Doesn't anybody know any other moves? It's obviously the
hottest move in a while. I haven't seen so many people use a move
since the heyday of the DDT. The best one? Chris Benoit. I liked
watching him smash Eddy Guerrero with it in Slo-mo, and watching
poor Eddy's head bounce off the mat. Ouchie.
The return of tag team wrestling. At this time last year, the
WCW tag champs were Stars 'n' Stripes, and the WWF belts were held
up. At this writing, and I'll say it once again, tag team wrestling
is still dead.
I liked the return of the "tweener" this year. I betcha
there'll be a lot more of that. But I'd rather call them
"antiheroes" because "tweener" sounds too much like "tweezers", that
instrument that you pick splinters out with.
I'd like another wrestling album. Remember WCW Slam Jam? I'd
like a copy of it just for collection's sake. But those lyrics.
"He's as pretty as a picture / He looks just like Little Richard." I
also recall that somehow Barry Windham's theme rhymed something with
"Windham" somehow. Maybe "bend 'em?" If they can put together an
album of alternative rock acts singing cartoon theme songs, surely
we can get a good wrestling theme music set.
I'd like for Ultimate Warrior to come back for one reason.
Because he's been expected at every PPV for every federation since
he left! The Warrior is getting lonely in rumor-land since Sid hit
the WWF.
I'd like more independent stars to graduate into the bigs. Like
ex-Moadib Ahmed Johnson. Even ex-Scott Stud Scotty Riggs. At least
these guys have proven they can wrestle, unlike lots of others I
don't feel like naming.
I'd like to be able to watch more than an hour or two of
wrestling every few weeks. Oh, jeez! That's right -- I have a
full-time job and not much time to do anything but sleep and eat. I
almost forgot.
And that's enough aimless rambling from me. Happy New Year's
Rockin' Eve. Thanks for reading me.

THE RIGHT VIEW by Jim Sondergeld
Starrcade '95 was, until it's last ten minutes, WCW'S best PPV of
the year. Then, like SuperBrawl V back in February, it all fell
apart. But let's save the worst for last.

"WORLD CUP" SERIES -- WCW defeated New Japan 4 matches to 3. No
surprise there; but how it got there was somewhat novel.

JUSHIN LIGER pinned CHRIS BENOIT -- Liger's brilliance was muted
once again, as it usually is when he wrestles stateside. A quality
match was spoiled when Kevin Sullivan's interference distracted
Benoit, enabling Liger to roll him up from behind (New Japan 1, WCW
0).

KOJI KANEMOTO pinned ALEX WRIGHT -- Tidiest match of the card. Good
action, and the proper result (New Japan 2, WCW 0).

LEX LUGER defeated MASIHIRO CHONO (submission), -- This bout was
notable for it's brevity. Luger powered out of Chono's STF and
quickly put Chono in the torture rack. One cannot help wondering why
he doesn't do that more often, but I guess only Hulk Hogan has an
unlimited predictability clause in his contract (New Japan 2, WCW
1).

JOHNNY B. BADD defeated MR. SAITO (DQ), -- Worst match of the
series. I was looking forward to seeing Saito bend Badd into a
pretzel. Instead they slogged around the ring for ten minutes until
Saito threw Badd over the top rope. Badd and Kimberly had matching
outfits, but it was the first time I've seen her that, instead of
ogling, I felt like leaning out a car window and ordering a burger
and fries instead (WCW 2, New Japan 2).

SUHIRO OTONI pinned EDDIE GUERRERO -- Best match of the entire card.
Constant, high-intensity action, both inside and outside the ring,
the advantage see-sawing back and forth, with the end sneaking up on
the viewer. It'd be great to take the fetters off Jushin Liger and
let him and Guerrero go at it. That could go for days, if we were
lucky enough (New Japan 3, WCW 2).

RANDY SAVAGE pinned TENSAN -- You know who Tensan reminds me of? A
young Randy Savage. He comes to the ring crazed and grows more
demented as the match unfolds. Savage used to have that kind of
maniacal intensity; now all he has is raw determination and the big
elbow drop, which was his only offense against Tensan. It was enough
(WCW 3, New Japan 3).

STING defeated KENSUKE SASAKE (submission), -- A pity the U.S. title
wasn't on the line. I've never seen Sting put in his own scorpion
deathlock before, so naturally, he escaped from it. Sasake didn't
(WCW 4, New Japan 3).

OTHER WORLD CUP THOUGHTS -- Somebody tell Eric Bischoff to get rid
of Sonny Onoo. There's no reason why the entire Japanese contingent
had to be billed as heels, and Onoo's "evil Oriental" stereotype
character is unbearably offensive . . . Where was Hacksaw Duggan in
all this? Couldn't he at least have been at ringside, leading the
cheers? Maybe they didn't have a Kimberly costume in his size . . .
Nothing like having a Canadian (Benoit), a Mexican (Guerrero), and a
German (Wright), defending the honor of the good ol' US of A, is
there?

TRIANGLE MATCH -- The format was a little different this time, but
this encounter featured a little bit of everything, including open
season on testicles, and Ric Flair at his very best.

Sting and Flair opened the bout and, though their work was nothing
we hadn't seen many times before, it was still done well enough to
hold one's attention. Then Sting tagged in Lex Luger, and my mouth
watered as he loomed over Flair. My salvation was misplaced; it has
been a while since Luger and Flair wrestled, and I had forgotten the
cardinal rule of their encounters: Luger must stand there like the
stiff he is and let Flair pound him. He could have slapped the
"Denture Boy" into the torture rack easier than he did Chono, but
for some reason, Luger must be made as much a monkey by Flair as
Flair is by Hulk Hogan. For me it was the low point of the card,
salvageable not even by Flair's low blow lifting Luger clear off the
mat. Finally, we came to the most eagerly anticipated combination
when Flair tagged in Sting. After a few minutes of tentative
circling, Sting and Luger really got into it, putting on the best
performance of the match (including Luger's abuse of Sting's nads).
After Sting failed to put Luger in the scorpion, Luger got Sting in
the torture rack.

But it was Flair who seized the moment. When the referee was
inadvertently (and conveniently), knocked down, Flair bashed Luger
from behind and threw both him and Sting over the top rope. The ref.
revived in time to count both of them out, and Old Man Ric was the
winner. It was undeniably brilliant, as well as uncomfortably
reminiscent of the late '80s NWA, when the good guys had all the
brawn and the Horsemen had all the brains -- and front office clout.

Which brings us, lamentably, to the world title match against Randy
Savage. For at least the third time this year, Savage dropped the
big elbow on Flair, had him pinned, but the referee was out of
position -- this time, courtesy of Jimmy Hart, whose loyalties
obviously turn on the wheels of fortune. Then Pillman, Benoit, AND
Arn Anderson charged the ring, and while Savage ejected the Blonde
and the Crippler, he succumbed to a pair of the Enforcer's brass
knuckles. Viola! Flair is world champion for the twelfth time.

I make no secret of the fact that I despise Ric Flair. I think he is
ten times the lazy egomaniac his diehard fans consider Hulk Hogan to
be. And while Hogan's title defenses are infrequent, at least when
he wrestles, he actually fights his OWN battles, and actually WINS.
Flair may have defended more often, but he did so from behind a
shield of his Horsemen goons. For my money, I'll take Hogan's
isolated appearances every time.

But the thing I always respected about the "Denture Boy" was that
when it came to winning the title, he always did so straight-up and
without help. No matter how cowardly the scripts called for him to
be when hanging onto the belt, he had the credibility of having
captured it fair and square. Which is what makes title #12 such a
travesty; Flair wasn't even AWAKE, for pity's sake, having been
knocked cold by Jimmy Hart's megaphone. Savage didn't exactly win
the belt in memorable fashion, having "survived" the World War 3
battle royal, but at least he WON it, and was aware of his triumph.
Flair had his friends mug the champion and steal the title from him;
he's not the WCW world titlist, but a common thief.

This is why all you Flairies should be less than thrilled as well.
Eric Bischoff handed the gold back to your guy, but in the most
pathetic, ignominious way imaginable. Flair would have merited more
respect from a Savage butt-kicking than what happened last night.
And this is just the beginning; Flair won't go ANYPLACE, even to the
bathroom, without Anderson, Benoit, and Pillman, much less defend
the title without them. It'll be the NWA 80's all over again.

Pass me the barfbags.

FREE-FLOWING RAGE by SLASHBACK
For some odd reason,-maybe the end-of-year recollections of Eddie
Gilbert did it -- but I just flashed back to the early spring of
1989. I was in graduate school, and could only steal glimpses of WCW
Saturday nights when no one else was in the student lounge. Ricky
Steamboat had just gotten back, did a run-in to save Eddie Gilbert,
who as a face had just gotten his nose "broken" by a Ric Flair
kneedrop from the ropes. Steamboat drew his line in the sand,
declaring that Gilbert "took a bullet" for him, and began his hunt
for Flair.

It was the start of a magical period for the promotion: Steamboat
eventually got a clean win for the title, and even more shocking,
got a clean two-out-of-three falls win in a rematch. The final
chapter came with another clean pin from Flair for the title, and
that same broadcast, before the credits rolled, a face turn (!), for
Flair when Terry Funk, feeling dissed by the new champ, piledrived
him through a table.

Think about all that for a minute: This was back when title changes
meant something, when wrestlers worked hard enough with each other
so that plot lines could remain linear yet compelling, when a
piledriver on a table truly was awe-inspiring rather than just one
more standard move in the ECW arsenal.

I wallow in the past because that's what you do sometimes around New
Year's, and looking at the big two promotions, I can't imagine how
in six years we've gotten so far from Steamboat's short but sweet
title reign.

Diminished title belt significance is killing wrestling. Bret Hart
is a transitional champ who will soon be jobbing to Michaels or that
UW guy, depending on who you trust, or maybe even dropping it to the
Undertaker, setting up a horrible-looking showdown with Diesel, the
point is that nobody cares much anymore. Razor is going to get
screwed out of the I-C belt by GoldDust (hopefully not literally,
yeehhhchhhh!), and Sid and the Kid will be caretakers of the sorry
WWF tag straps, it's been reported, until something better is
thought up.

In WCW, forget it, the belts *mean nothing* and have meant nothing
ever since Hogan got there. Because any heel that beats Savage for
the belt can only be viewed as a future jobber to Hogan, and who
would want that. The U.S. belt hasn't been the same since Steve
Austin held it, and the tag belts might not even be saved by a
Sting-Luger reign.

My bold, none-too-inspired prediction is this: Vader will save
whatever promotion he goes to. Vader makes you care when he takes a
belt from someone. The sight a few years ago of Sting, juiced and
freshly powerbombed, having just cleanly jobbed the belt to Vader,
remains a high point in monster heel history.
Lastly, for those who saw the 12/25 Nitro, imagine this brief
conversation between Malenko and JL on the top turnbuckle:

JL: "Um, Dean, I don't recall rehearsing this one, how do I land?"
DM: "Just roll on your shoulder, OK, ready?"
JL: "No, no, wait, whoooo---->p" CRUNCH!

Seriously, on replay, it does look like JL broke his right arm, or
at the very least, sprained the wrist, and if he did, that's a
crying shame for a guy who works so many high spots in anonymity.
Get well soon, because WCW could use about 10 more like you.

STATE OF WRESTLING by Rob Newland
Well another year has passed and of course that always leads to
people looking back over the year that just took place. Personally
I'm very happy with the current state of wrestling. Things in the
WWF aren't perfect and things in WCw are so far from perfect it's an
impossible task to even explain their federation but even in a year
where we saw the fall of SMW I see a good future for wrestling. The
reason for my unique brand of optimism is basically the fact that
the screwjob endings, 80's booking and lazy workers aren't selling
any tickets anymore. This means better wrestling is no longer a
decision the big feds will have to make by themselves but instead
they will be forced to change their ways or be driven out of
business.

This brings me around to ECW and a recent article in the Observer
suggesting they needed to tone down the violence in order to attract
bigger buyrates. Rumor has it that the PPV companies are also saying
the same thing and suggesting that less violence will mean a bigger
buy. Well it may mean a bigger buy from current wrestling fans but
to attract the past fans of wrestling and add new ones ECW needs to
make absolutely no compromises. I'm sure Paul E would never think of
watering down his product because common sense dictates that in
order to get the audience the WWF and WCw doesn't appeal to they
need to do something different not just do the exact same thing. ECW
could attract the crowd that even UFC can't get repeat business
from. UFC has the problem that the general public sees politicians
trying to ban it so they assume it's very violent but come away
disappointed by the action. I like the mat wrestling aspects of UFC
but I am in a very small minority and the buyrates of UFC will sink
lower and lower as more people become tired of the fact that the
majority of the fights take place on the ground.

The WWF has been taking steps to becoming hard-core with the recent
blood and table shots but (as I've said before and will no doubt say
again), I think that's good but not what the WWF should be changing.
No parents will complain that their children watched a 30 minute, 5
star classic match the other night but may complain about the blood.
This is the direction the WWF needs to go. They *should* keep chair
shots and blood but only on PPVs. and not in every match. I would
like to see more table shots, chair shots and blood on WWF PPVs. but
I know that if they started promoting higher workrate wrestlers and
pushed all the talent they would have more success. No need to
repeat everything I've said in this column for the past years it is
time to just sit back and see if they adapt to the 90's or get stuck
trying to please kids and adults at the same time which is not
possible. They must decide to aim at the under 13 year olds or the
over 13 year olds because you can't do both and make money.

WCw  needs to go back to the basics. Bischoff should listen
carefully to what I am about to say and if you ever happen to see
him remind him of this. To win a title a man must pin or force his
opponent to submit. Obviously Bischoff was unaware of this basic
rule as One Man Gang wrestled and lost to Kensuke Sasaki and was
subsequently awarded the US Title. If the one single solitary goal
of WCw is to confuse and frustrate it's fans then I must say they
are doing a fantastic job. I'm not one who advocates heels and faces
not hanging out with each other because I don't think that exposes
the business due to the fact that it's not a totally inconceivable
notion that just because someone breaks rules he couldn't be friends
with someone who doesn't. The problem arises when you start showing
people with belts before they have won them. The problem gets even
worse when you show people with belts that aren't booked to even
wrestle and defeat the title holder. This does expose the business
and is unnecessary when you can just put one guy over another and
switch the title belts.

So 1996 will not doubt see more changes in US wrestling than 1995
and I'm sure that companies will change directions and try new
things as we have seen some evidence of in 1995. Well I'd like to
wish you all a Happy New Year and hope it's a good one for us all!

FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC by "Maniac" Mike Blade
Rather than a standard year in review, I thought that I'd look
at things from three angles . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly.
THE GOOD - Shawn Michaels. From beginning to end, Michaels has
gotten wrestling's biggest push of the year. And for once, it is
well deserved. THE BAD - Nine cowards jumping him outside a Syracuse
bar. THE UGLY - The unlikely prospect that this athlete, perhaps the
best worker in wrestling today, would even consider early
retirement.
THE GOOD - Monday night TV wrestling wars. The addition of
Nitro has pushed Raw to be even better. THE BAD - People who seem
unable to use their VCRS have to make a decision. THE UGLY -
Bischoff and McMichaels seemingly insatiable appetite for taking
cheap shots at the WWF.
THE GOOD - The resurrection of the Four Horseman. THE BAD - WCW
bookers who have no clue what the Four Horseman are. THE UGLY - The
continued existence of the Dungeon of Doom, complete with The Son
Andre Never Had(TM).
THE GOOD - Wrestling on the edge. Both major leagues seem ready
to embrace a hardcore feel. THE BAD - This will probably be limited
only to the pay-per-view cards. THE UGLY - Fans who think hardcore
and blood are inseparable.
THE GOOD - Jim Ross being given more of a voice in the WWF. THE
BAD - Dusty Rhodes being given more of a voice in WCW. THE UGLY - I
don't want to mention any names, but he carries a rat named Pepe
that seems to have his same lousy taste in clothes.
THE GOOD - The continued existence of independent
organizations, led by the ECW and USWA. If there is a future for
wrestling, there has to be a training ground for young talent. THE
BAD - The sad end to one of the most promising, Smoky Mountain
Wrestling. THE UGLY - The big two taking talent away from these
organizations too quickly, just to prove that they can best each
other. Public Enemy is good, but would Bischoff have offered them
guaranteed money if VinnieMac hadn't been courting them?
THE GOOD - The prospect of better works in the year to come
thanks to greater competition. THE BAD - With increased work comes
the possibility of increased injury. THE UGLY - Increased injury
means we may end up saying good-bye to more and more wrestlers due
to career ending injuries. Let us remember Magnum TA, Ricky
Steamboat and the others as we scream for more.

NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
First, our e-mail problems persist, one address in particular
bounced so many times that it crashed the Ring Report's e-mail
address on *three* consecutive days. If you didn't receive the Ring
Report or if you experienced problems with the Ring Report in the
past week please accept my apologies -- we're trying to get things
under control and it's going to take some time.
I'm announcing now that I can no longer take e-mail for the
Ring Report at my JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING account. That account is
*beyond* belief in the amount of mail it gets each day and I can
barely keep up with mail from two weeks ago, let alone mail from the
Ring Report.
The second announcement is that from this issue on we ask that
you send your submissions to us via a mail message and *not* in an
attached file. Just copy and paste your report to a mail message and
send it please, with all of our new reporters (let alone weird text
files received from the subscribe link on the web page), and all the
new file formats I get reports in I just can't keep up with it (let
alone *find* most of the files on my hard drive). So please, if you
send reports (and anyone can submit reports -- we print just about
anything), send them as mail messages and not text files. Thanks.
We start our last installment of the MADDOGIES Awards with
those awards that everyone else does. Sit back and laugh at my
picks:
WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: BRET HART, with runners up THE SANDMAN &
MIKEY WHIPWRECK.
WORST WRESTLER: THAT HH GUY, without a doubt . . .
TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR: PUBLIC ENEMY.
WORST TAG TEAM: LEX LUGER & THE BRITISH BULLDOG.
FEDERATION OF THE YEAR: ECW.
FEDERATION I'M TRYING TO FORGET: "THE KARATE FIGHTERS" ERA of
the WWF.
FEUD OF THE YEAR: THE GANGSTAS vs. PUBLIC ENEMY.
FEUD I'M TRYING TO FORGET: THE DoD vs. THAT HH GUY.
BEST MATCH: Pick any of the MALENKO/GUERRERO showdowns in the
ECW.
BEST TV SHOW: ECW.
WORST TV SHOW: A tie between WCW PRO WRESTLING and WWF MANIA.
Now, with those out of the way, we're back to our usual stuff .
. .
The MADDOGIES PINKY & THE BRAIN AWARD for actions of WORLD
CONQUEST THAT NEVER WORK goes to WCW'S own Eric Bischoff (with THAT
HH GUY in the "PINKY" role). You can't fault the guy for trying, you
can fault him for the WAY he's trying, but you have to admire his
spirit.
The MADDOGIES award for BEST ENTRANCE INTO A LEAGUE goes to
"SUPERSTAR" STEVE AUSTIN for the way he entered the ECW. Wearing a
mustache and a yellow-shirt and proclaiming STEVE-A-MANIA was
probably the funniest moment I've seen all year. I wish he can do as
well in his new federation.
The MADDOGIES award for WORST TRANSFORMATION goes to AL SNOW as
AVATAR, DUSTIN RHODES as GOLDDUST, and CHRIS & TAMMY as THE
BODYDONNAS in the WWF. Once upon a time the WWF transmogifier (RIP
CALVIN & HOBBS), turned out gold. Now it turns out, to quote DUSTY
RHODES, "Doo doo."
A very special MADDOGIES goes out to THE BEST ENTRANCE MUSIC OF
ALL TIME and it goes to THE DISCO INFERNO.  If my 14 month old niece
can sing it ("Ya-ya-ya-ya!"), it MUST be good! :)
In a related note, the BEST NEW GIMMICK MADDOGIES AWARD goes to
THE DISCO INFERNO.  This guy loses every match and all he cares
about is if his hair is messed up.  He's oblivious to the boos of
the crowd and you know, if the WCW had used this gimmick for THAT HH
GUY it would reflect how most of us on-line feel about him . . . ;)
The MADDOGIES award for WORST USE OF A NON-TRANSFORMED star
goes to the WCW and their use of SABU, CHRIS BENOIT, DEAN MALENKO,
EDDY GUERRERO and JERRY LYNN.
The MADDOGIES award for OVERKILL, or "HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS A
THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE?" goes to matches involving THE PITBULLS vs.
ELIMINATORS, UNDERTAKER vs. YOKOZUNA, AXL vs. IAN, and BOB RYDER vs.
JOE PEDICINO on the GRANDSTAND'S weekly WRESTLING CHAT on AOL.
The MADDOGIES award for "IF THE FIRST ONE KILLED HIM, THE WHY
DOESN'T IT KILL ANYONE ELSE?" goes to the WWF'S UNDERTAKER and his
CASKET MATCHES. Why have a match where it "kills" the other guy when
the other guy never dies?
The THEY SAID IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN HERE MADDOGIES AWARD goes
to me and THE RING REPORT TV UPDATE, as I said the evil word "HULK
HOGAN" and announced that we were dropping our mandatory
substitution of "THAT HH GUY" for his name.  Thankfully, only a
handful of reporters have taken us up on that offer . . .
The MADDOGIES award for "ALWAYS LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT OF
BEING WORTH ANYTHING" goes to "MEAN" GENE OKERLUND and his hotline.
Much like THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS, Gene doesn't care, wants your
money, and will continue to abuse the phonelines until the end of
time.
The MADDOGIES award for "THEY WOULD HAVE MADE MY X-MAS WISH
COME TRUE IF ONLY . . ." someone had put SONNY, WOMAN, BUELAH, or
FRANCINE under my X-MAS tree. Or at least have Sonny co-host Mania.
The MADDOGIES award for "I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE '90'S AND THAT
WE WERE BEYOND THAT" goes to the WCW and it's race baiting in the
form of Sonny Onoo and the whole New Japan angle.  Folks, it's been
proven that fans will cheer "USA" for just about anything (including
CHRIS BENOIT), so we *don't* need to resort to race baiting, racial
insults and intolerance to put someone over as a bad guy.  Runner up
goes to VINCE MCMAHON'S disgusting use of GOLDDUST.
The final MADDOGIES award for the year of 1995 goes to DUMBEST
AWARDS. Without a doubt, the MADDOGIES graciously accept this honor
and will probably try to achieve the same thing next year. Until
then everyone . . .

HAVE A HAPPY NUDIE YEAR!

********************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: All names, events, etc., are trademarks of their
respective leagues. The Ring Report is in NO WAY sponsored by and
makes NO CLAIMS to be associated with ANY of the federations covered
here. We are a free publication, put out by fans for fans, and if
your federation has a problem with being carried -- please contact
me immediately at JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING . Thank you.
********************************************************************

HOW TO CONTACT THE RING REPORT:

GENERAL COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS/SUBMISSIONS: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING
Grandstand Wrestling On-Line: Http://www.gstand.com/WRESTLE
Ring Report Generic Web site: http://www.gstand.com/WRESTLE/RReport
Maddogjmf Generic Web site:
http://users.aol.com/MADDOGJMF/index.html

"MAD DOG" JAMES M. FINCH, Editor in Chief, Flashback:
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING and 71554,121 on CSERVE

RYAN CUNNINGHAM, Managing Editor, WWF ACTION ZONE Reporter:
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

BRYAN FISHER, WWF RAW Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

DENNIS MILLER, NEWS, WCW SAT NITE Reporter: 73633,1651 on CSERVE

CHRIS YETMAN, WWF & WCW PPV Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

"MANIAC" MIKE BLADE, FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC columnist:
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

TRACEY PORTER, WWF SUPERSTARS Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

ROB NEWLAND, STATE OF WRESTLING COLUMNIST: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

KEVIN SABOL, WCW MAIN EVENT Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

DANNY PORTER, WCW PRO WRESTLING Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

ED HANECAK, NWC SLAMMIN' and USWA Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

SCOTT A HIBBS, WCW NITRO Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

EZ HSIANG, HITTIN' EM HARD Columnist: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

TOM ROBSON, THE SUPERBOMB Columnist: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

MARK CARLTON, CWUSA Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

JIM SONDERGELD, THE RIGHT VIEW Columnist: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

DAVID JACOBS, THE MIDDLE OF THE RING Columnist: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

KATHRYN D. LIZENBY, USWA Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

DEAN 'THE KING' AYASS, Hammerlock Wrestling Reporter:
JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

MIKE PEDITTO, WCW vs. WWF ANALYSIS Columnist: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

ERIC STONE, ECW in GLEN OLDEN Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

BRETT SCHWAN, ECW IN QUEENS Reporter: JLIB_HTML_CLOAKING

FALCON, WWF IN SEATTLE Reporter: MFHDUTCH @aol.com
********************************************************************

• Next >