Gloom. Gloom. Gloom.

I woke up late. I had another weird dream that I was on the run from the military Ala Bruce Banner and the Hulk, but I never saw what I could turn into. In fact, the whole thing could have been a whole paranoid dream. I remember stumbling into an ice cream parlor and there was a young girl behind the counter. They had hot fudge sundaes in heart shaped dishes. I saw her do a couple of them and it was obvious she didn't know what she was doing. When she got to serve me I asked if there were any job opening and her eyes lit up and told me there was a problem with her mom and she was there alone all day.

I went behind the counter and the dream sort of went in fast forward. Serving customers, meeting her mom, getting to stay in the spare room. I guess a couple of weeks past and I became part of the family. The mom was single and lonely and we were getting close when I noticed that the military was showing up in town. They thought I was being paranoid but I knew they where there for me. I knew something was coming and everyone would get hurt if I stayed.

There was a whole build up where no one wanted me to go, but I had made a phone call to someone to come get me. Tanks actually roll into town. People are starting to wonder. Both the mom and daughter are begging me to stay because the army's just passing through ... just passing through. The mom and I are walking arm and arm down the street when the space ship comes to pick me up.

The mom's flabbergasted. Suddenly everything I've said was true. The ship is about the size of a taxi cab. Two seats up front, two behind. The pilot, a dead ringer for my friend Brandi, tells me she can only take me, but she'll set the mom down on top of her apartment building then circle around because she couldn't get a good angle to jump off planet with all the interference from the military. She gives me a pager and says she'll get me when things are clear.

I go down to the apartment with the mom and she tells the daughter what's going on and the daughter freaks and hides. She doesn't want to deal with this. She doesn't want me to go or anything to change. We can hear tanks down the street now. I'm saying goodbye to the mom and finally it hits the daughter that I'm leaving she runs up to me, hugs me, and tells me not to go. I give her and her mom rings and say that this would clear their memories of me that I'd be back to get them one day. Lots of tears as I fade away ... beam me up from another sad stupid dream.

It's not raining but it's wet and my arm hurts so I'm not going to do wood today. Our backyard gets swampy at any sign of rain so a reprieve. Good lord, a reprieve.

I'll take it.

k9
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Taking a Dive

It was extremely hot and muggy today. When it's humid, I sweat something awful. In Canada I was the waterworks; it was that bad last year. This morning I'm out near the wood, marveling at the millions of insects in the wood pile and realize that there's a swarm of gnats over my head. Mind you I'm already wearing huge headphones and a double long cord going to my walkman. I'm in sweat pants and there's no place to hook it so I'm hooking it on my waistband and ... well add that I'm an idiot and I'm not wearing my glasses ...

So after an hour or so I'm to the point where I can't see anything. I'm randomly throwing stuff on the pile. It's not structurally sound. The frigging thing is getting about waist high and I have to climb up on it to get to the middle of it to stack wood. Suddenly a big truck goes by, I'm startled and the world slowly slips away from under my feet. I catch myself before I really fall, then take the loose wood and properly stack it up on top of the pile. I feel like hell, I don't want to be out there. I'm grumbling my head off. I get down off the pile, go to the cart and I decided to stack with my feet on the ground.

This is safe, right?

Nothing is safe.

Like something out of "Dead Like Me," my walkman pops off of my waist as I'm walking to the pile. I turn to grab it as a gnat flies into my eye; I put my elbow on the pile to steady myself and the one small row starts to roll. I literally say "@#$#!!!" I throw the headphones off my head as I fall and come down hard on my shoulder.

That's when I give up. Actually, no, I'm such an idiot that I restacked the pile, finished the cart, then gave up.

I don't hurt. I'm sort of half awake right now. I didn't hit my head or anything, I'm just exhausted. I worked my butt off yesterday on the pile then worked 5 hours at my real job, then spent most of the evening editing videos. I didn't sleep that much last night. I had this dream I was at the Motorcycle shop that's the setting for the TLC show "American Chopper" yet I was still stacking wood. I have no @#$#ing idea why they wanted wood but there I was, with all those idiots, stacking wood in the back of the shop.

I need help.

Speaking of help: Brit sent along the article that TechTV is for sale. Dear lord, I was right.

They're doomed.

Oh well. I'm going to go fall over.

k9
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I'm SO scared.

Fresh Gear was always a boring show. It was so generic, so harmless, so uncool and so unhip that it was like your average generic white guy dancing. No skill at all, but funny to watch for a laugh.

Jim Louderback and Sumi Das started the show as Ken and Barbie. It was boring as hell but at least both of them had some sort of background in technology. You could see them get their hands on a product and actually have some credibility.

When Jim left the show and it focused on Sumi's breasts, err, abilities, she still had some cred because she'd actually do segments herself and you'd actually SEE her using the products in question. Really. It wasn't about her posing quasi-provocatively and arching her back just SO in a fit of eye candy greatness, it was actually a pretty decent technology show.

Sumi left about a month ago. She decided that being a nobody at MSNBC (or whereever) was better than having her own show on TechTV. That's a pretty big statement (also made by Erica Hill). TechTV, in it's usual unprepared state, knew she was leaving for a while and didn't bother to find a replacement. Can anyone say D'oh?

So they've been experimenting with pairs. I think I wrote about Kris Kosach and Brett Larson hosting the show. Well I've caught bits and pieces of various pairs since then and then, last night, I caught the replay of this week's show and horror of horrors ...

They've put the jock and the idiot on as hosts.

Yes, this week they had Jessica Corbin and Chris Leary hosting the show.

Leary. Jock. Pitch perfect generic announcer voice. He looks at women as if he's trying to figure out how to get their bras off. For his brain capacity, the bra trick would probably blow his poor little mind. He was hired because he's taller, hotter and he works cheaper than Jim Louderback. Anyone would work cheaper than Jim Louderback if they didn't have Jim's background in technology. For all of his air-headedness and his Ken doll looks, Jim knew what he was talking about. Leary? The only advice I'd take from Leary is how to get to the nearest strip club. He'll know, no matter where you are in the world, he'll know.

Corbin. Looks beautiful. Stumbles over everything she reads on cue cards. Talks waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast for the big words that they make her read. It was obvious that there was nobody home behind what she was reading last night. While she and Leary look like the perfect "Hey, we're beautiful people and we're going to talk down to you nerds" couple, neither knew what they were talking about and that was obvious by the fact that in the 15 minutes I caught, NEITHER INTERACTED WITH ANY OF THE PRODUCTS.

Probably for the best. There are reasons why the Corbin Report died a quick death.

Anyone remember? It was a segment on the Screen Savers where Jessica admitted to not having a brain in her head. Leo Laporte, playing the disturbing "uncle" with something "special" in his pocket, would whip out a new toy or gift for little Jessie and her eyes would go all big and she'd clap her hands and go "ooooooh" then bounce up and down as the camera focused on her cleavage. Uncle Leo would give her a week to play with the toy from his pocket and then Jessie would give a report back on said product.

Jessie promptly forgot about said product for a week then someone would write the "Corbin Report" for her to read on the air. She had nothing to do with it. If she did, then damn, if she can't make her own work SOUND like she wrote it ... oh well.

Look at Leary, look at Corbin. Beautiful, dim-witted, soul-less eye candy who know as much about technology as I know about seducing a playboy bunny or, well, lol, anyone for that matter.

Therfore, I'm putting $5 down that they'll be the new hosts of Fresh Gear.

The least qualified ALWAYS gets the job at TechTV. That's how Cat got the "Call for Help" gig after all ...

I'm off to go haul firewood.

It felt great to vent.

k9
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Why Doesn't it Rain?

It rained for almost the entire month of July. It was like a late April or something. Now that I need rain, of course, not a drop.

I don't like this 8 AM twilight stuff. It's just dim enough out there to make it look like it's raining, but it's not, it's just that the sun isn't freaking awake enough to burn off the Pennsylvania fog that darkens the landscape.

They all must die.

The other morning I woke up with that dream about the blonde ... well, she was someone I used to know and hang out with in college. Or based on her I think. My brain has yet to wake up enough to burn off the fog of one k9's morning yet; digressing, anyway, for the hell of it I looked her and some of my other old friends up on google. I do this once or twice a year, whenever I'm feeling stupid. None of them ever appear.

This time, she appeared. Announcing the birth of her new baby boy with her new husband. It's not some girl by the same name, there's only one of them from that area, that high school and that family, so good for her. Bad for any lingering memories my subconscious was obviously holding onto and tormenting me with, but hey, that's life.

Life teaches you to cling to what you have. If you really want people, keep in touch with them. Don't let your "sphere of influence," as they say in all the tactical games, diminish to the point where you can't get in touch with your old friends (and memories) easily. Keep those people and memories in the present by keeping in touch with them. Why? So you're not screwed up 10 years later dreaming of them for no other reason than your mind wants to screw up your evening.

Oh hell. I have to go throw wood down a really steep hill now.

Somebody shoot something.

k9
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Another New Morning

To catch everyone up on the yearly hell: House has driveway. End of driveway big hill leading down to backyard. Basement (where my folks live) is heated by wood stove. Far side of house inaccessable to trucks. Therefore deliveries of wood made at end of driveway, thrown down hilll then stacked where ever.

THIS YEAR? My mom has decreed that she wants it closer to the house. So I'll be throwing each piece down the hill and ... then I'll be carrying it about 300 feet to stack it near the fence by the pool. Lucky me. I was wishing for rain so I wouldn't have to start this madcaped adventure. It didn't happen. I hate weather.

I had another nightmare last night. I was pretty bad, I don't want to go into it other than it was set in the house in Washington State that we lived in until I was 15. Somehow I had a cel phone and was talking to Laura on it after the bad events happen. Oh, for some reason "Diamond" David Lee Roth and his bimbos kept stopping at the house to use the bathroom. That alone should have scared the bejesus out of me.

So of course, I was up at 4:30 am and tossed and turned until a few minutes ago. I do feel like hell. The only advantage to my mom's new plan is that we won't have to go too far to get wood this winter. But DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN I really don't want to do this. I really don't. I just took an antacid, I'm taking my allergy pills in a minute, then I'm getting ready to go drop dead on the wood pile.

If I die, anything naughty I own goes to Summer, Jim and Kevin. Get your butts up here and get it out of my house before my parents find it.

Which reminds me: Friday morning the installer and I are waiting around for the DirecWay people. He's on the phone on hold (playing pinball on his laptop), I'm sitting here fiddling with my tv computer. My mom looks in, see's the bikini girl on my desktop monitor and starts yelling "WHAT'S THIS?" in the tone of a mother who has found playboys under the bed. I ignored her. She went away. I have no clue what she wanted.

Oh well. That's life. Trouble me not with the details.

k9
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Ugg.

I had a headache so I went to bed early. Of course, since it's gotten colder out last night was the night that I started having horribly vivid dreams. We'll start backwards since the last one woke me up.

I had a dream that I was friends with a girl in high school. In the dream, we knew each other from high school. We hung out a lot and when she moved away I was heart broken. Then my parents decided to move and coincidentally, it's to the same area as she moved. She's there to greet me on the first day of school. It's only been a couple of weeks but she loves the school and she's found acceptance. We had been nerds and suddenly she's really popular with all the kids. Great for her. She's starting to bloom.

Since she's getting popular there's a million different things she wants to do and she takes me along to help out. We're getting really close as we're doing stupid after school activities. I'm helping out with bake sales and drama clubs, helping her recite lines, that sort of crap. Thinking that it was great to be doing everything one on one with this girl and falling hopelessly in love with her at the same time ...

So of course there's a school wide assembly for everyone in our grade. They're going to hear from the candidates running for class president then they're going to announce a semester-long pairs project. She's sitting in front of me with one of her friends, I'm sitting behind her. We're all sitting in those crappy old 70's era plastic chairs with steel legs. She and her friend go up to give speeches, she's great, she thanks me as her biggest supporter. Then they announce the class project ...

3 choices here:
1) partners pick someone to be married to and they spend the semester doing the traditional marriage group project.
2) partners are heavily into debt; one is the banker, the other the debtor and they work a way out of debt.
3) Mystery prize

There's also a twist -- whomever catches the "randomly thrown" key chain gets to pick first and his or her partner of choice can't say no.

Everyone's on edge. I remember she stood on her chair, and everyone followed suit. They throw the key chain into the crowd and her chair snaps. I grab her out of the air before she falls. I can smell her perfume and she smiles at me in surprise as everyone around her falls. It's great, I'm a hero ... and she has the key chain! My heart is racing.

She looks at me and thanks me for everything and says that there's no one more in the world that she wants to be partners with and she lifts her arm and extends it out to make her choice and ... she grabs hold of the big preppy guy next to me. The top jock, king of the school guy. Not me.

This is when I almost wake myself up going "where the @#$# did that son of a @#$#$ come from?"

I'm pissed in the dream, but of course, I never left on. I don't know anyone in the school, I quickly realize, so #1 is out. #2 is assigned and #3 is a mystery that only losers take. She's all happy in front of me with her new man and she asks me what I'm going to pick (and somewhere I should have just stormed off), and I say something stupid in a mumble as I go over my options. I can't stand to see her at this point and decide, what the hell, to go with #3.

I tell her, and she's horrified, and I wake up pissed off.

Who the hell was that dream girl to pick the wrong guy AND to give me crap for my choice after she just broke my @#$#ing heart? LOL.

The earlier dream had me working in an office. Same theme here. I do 60 hours a week. Bust my ass for months, work harder than everyone else. Then layoffs come. Some girl reads the names on the list and says "obviously these last three aren't here, since I don't see them." I see my name on the list, I say that's me and she says "Oh, sorry, are you new?" Yes, she they didn't even know who the hell I was come layoff time.

I love my dreams. I really do.

I'm up now. I'm going to go shower. I have a headache. The cats are fighting, and it's much too cold for anyone's own good today.

k9
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Yesterday.

Yesterday. I got up at 6:30 am and took a quick shower. Got out of the shower, fed the cats and dogs and started vacuuming the hall, my computer room and the living room. In the middle of vacuuming, on of the cats barfed all over the floor exactly where I needed to sit to uninstall the old satellite modem. Ten minutes of cleaning later, the floor was soaking wet, but the barf was gone.

Guy gets here early. He's the first guy to ever FIND THE HOUSE WITHOUT DIRECTIONS. He was surprised. Said it was right on the map. I'm scared. He takes the old dish off the roof just fine and it's about an hour and a half to put the new dish on. As I said before, the new dish is gigantic. He looks at our DirecTV dish and starts to fix it when we have to go inside the house to put the software on.

THIS IS WHERE IT ALL GOES WRONG.

AOL for Satellite screwed my system up. Totally. He couldn't do anything at all with the software. After 30 minutes, then an hour on hold/testing with tech support, I finally said that I'd reformat and put the software on myself. He was cool with that, since they had established that his build was okay and he got the modem working perfectly on his laptop.

REFORMATING.

He leaves; my brain goes out the window. I have to reformat. I have to back things up. I don't know where to start. I get my dad to reschedule our haircuts to earlier in the day. I e-mail work, tell them what's going on, take the day off, then start the reformat, then stop to take my dad to haircut and McDonalds. My brain is out the window at this point. Come home, reformat is pretty much done; start putting on the audio, motherboard and video drivers. I try the new satellite software and things go okay. Good sign ... I try to sleep, can't and then I blog.

This is where things start to get weird. Windows had thrown the installation on my swap file drive. Not a good thing. So I had to reinstall windows again. The GOOD news is by doing this, it didn't write over my newsgroup software, which I had forgotten to take off.

So reformat ...

Somewhere in reformatting, I start to wonder where my brain has gone. I'm still not awake, things are going well, I decide to start to install my old stuff off of my portable hard drive. This is where life goes to hell. My drive starts having all sorts of errors. So I've spent from around 6 PM last night until midnight trying to get stuff off of that drive.

I'm in hell. Day 2. Oh well.

I'm going to go bash things.

k9
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Psst.

I'm alive. I haven't been laid off YET. Layoffs next week, maybe. God only knows.

They installed my new DirecWay dish. For the first time ever I am sitting here typing in IE without AOL. I know everyone does it, but for me, without that comforting AOL screen sitting in the background, this is a little weird-o-ramic.

It seems faster than the old dish. It's HUGE though. Big enough for me to go "oh wow" when the guy put it in. I also had to reformat to make the software work. Which was a pain, and I'm on PTO time now trying to get everying to run again. I don't know if that's good or bad, all I know is that the connection is letting me connect w/o AOL and that, in itself, is a good thing.

I'll check in later, windows updates downloading.

k9
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One More Day ...

Tomorrow is supposedly the big layoff day. Fuckedcompany.com keeps adding numbers to the list of layoffs, but sadly, NO ONE ELSE is talking about it. So I'm going to go to work like normal this afternoon then figure out what the heck I'm going to do with my life tomorrow if it happens.

My best friend said not to look at a layoff as a bad thing, look at it as an oppertunity. In some ways I have to agree with her. Frankly, I work 7 days a week, 365 including every holiday. While I am responsible for doing my own schedule, I know that if I were to schedule a day off during a major sporting event that there would be hell to pay. Even on PTO time there are times when we're expected to be there and checking in regardless. I'm looking back and I've worked every Christmas, every New Year, every Labor Day, etc. for six years now. I would like a job that says "take a day off" and one that doesn't hoot and holler for taking one. Working from home is a good gig, but part of me is starting to long for a way to take work out of home and leave it at work. So we'll see where this all leads.

Good news and bad news from my doctor visit. The good news is that I'm down to 192 lbs. My high was 206 lbs. about this time last summer. The bad news is that my blood pressure is way up and if it's up again next time, I'll probably go see my regular doctor to see what we can do. It's not just stress over the pending layoffs, I've been feeling weird for a while now but nothing to the point of "ut-oh." So I'm going to keep checking my blood pressure and hope to god that it's not bad again.

Quietly working on new strips, if you haven't noticed. Not on any sort of schedule and I think I'm going to ride this until the ideas run out. Then I'll take another month off and figure out even more new strips.

Watched part of TSS last night and it was improving. Hardly any Sarah in what I saw, No Jessica, nothing really to be annoyed about. I still dislike the LAN party and see it as nothing more than a chance to shill for Nvidea. I really don't care that they've playing Battlefield 1941 for the past month because I don't have the means to connect or interact. I really wish they'd start doing sports games on it. Madden 2004 is out soon they should have a tournament or something. For goodness sake, geeks are into more than just turn based strategy (Yawn) and first person shooters (double yawn).

With that, off to face the world.

k9
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A New Week

Well, I have 2 days to find out if I'm getting laid off or if my new internet satellite dish is actually going to go in. I don't know if I'm excited about either. My old dish is kind of old and slow and ::gasp:: one way, so all my uploads went through my regular modem. If I'm not laid off and I don't have to cancel my dish, I am indeed looking forward to being online and being able to use a private telephone line at the same time. Of course once I start talking, you can't shut me up, so that's a downer, but hey, the friends I have left are used to that by now.

It is way too early to think.

I'm going to go putter here and there.

Be bad.

k9
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The Blackout

Sometimes I am very thankful for the dinky coal burning power plant that pollutes the air about 10 miles from our mall. I'm pretty sure it was the only reason that we did not lose power last night as we're on the same grid that went down and darkened major north American cities last night. At work, 4 of our 9 employees were without power for most of the night. When I last checked in, our guy in Cleveland and our guy in Massachusetts were back online. No sign of the guys in New Jersey (who I was talking to in an IM when his lights poofed) or Detroit.

One thing that makes you me feel good is that as everything went to hell, at least in New York, it looked like people pulled together again and helped each other. From ice cream vendors who gave out free ice cream to the Marriott hotel giving out sheets so stranded people could sleep in the street because they didn't have any place else to go. Patience, helping each other, everything that you don't think about when you think of our big cities. This wouldn't have happened pre-911.

Switching gears, they're reporting we're going to be hit with layoffs next week. While we're far enough down on the food chain that laying any of us off wouldn't make ANY difference in the budget (other than forcing someone who makes 3 or 4 times as much as we do have to do our jobs), it's still a possibility since we're not "traditional" employees. God only knows. Seriously.

I'll work at McDonalds if I have to. I don't care any more. Get the bills paid off, keep my head above water and go on with life.

k9
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Ranting ... again.

Missed TSS last night but was able to catch "Unscrewed." Laura Swisher looks great with her hair down. Martin is an idiot. I changed the channel after 45 seconds of obscure jokes that no one in their right mind would get. I'm surprised that the show is still on the air. As much as they wanted it to be the show everyone dumps on, it must have some sort of a following for them to keep it around. Then again, no one watched "Cyber Crime" and they canceled it ... and it's still on the air. Oh well.

I did catch all of "X-Play," the #1 show on the network. Thank you Morgan Webb's boobs. The show is dreadfully bad. In fact it's so bad that it probably would do the same rating if they played music and put the lyrics on the screen and used Morgan's boobs to highlight the word you're supposed to be singing. You know, like in the old cartoons. That probably won't work since they're so big that one would be at the beginning of a line while the other would be at the end of a line and ... well it doesn't really matter, does it? If your sex life consists of watching Morgan Webb jiggle, ain't no one gonna be around to hear you screw up the song.

The show is obnoxious in attitude. For example, Adam Sessler previewed NFL Blitz Pro last night. He made snide comments and pretty much ripped the game apart. However, somewhere in the magic that is X-Play, he turned the swarmy preview around and said it was a great game and that we all should look forward to it when it comes out. Hello? What the hell?

Morgan's delivery has improved since the last time I watched, however, the writers haven't figured out how write in different voices for Adam and Morgan. This could be good, however, what they have Morgan say wouldn't come out of her mouth. It's all Adam's voice. This leads to the horrible picture of Adam's face on Morgan's large breasted body whenever she does a review. When she's hosting it's a different story. Without a script she becomes a child. She still has the deer caught in the headlights look (and yes, those are some headlights to be caught in), and when she's meant to be funny she comes off as a 2 year old.

Large busted red head (former blonde & brunette) speaking baby talk. You know, it might be a hit if it were the Playboy channel. Get her an old fashioned nurse's outfit and forget anything she says. It's the package, not the content that most guys are after.

Last night they put her in a Charlie's Angels-type segment and had her jiggle and jump while "fighting" bad guys. I say take her entirely out of the rest of the show and have her focus on these kind of segments. Put her in a skimpy outfit and a cape and have her "fly" around the city. Dress her up as a naughty librarian and have her "introduce" the show. Get her a pair of pom poms and ... well even my adolescent fantasies would be better than her actually hosting the show or doing reviews at this point.

She needs to focus less on her boobs and more on improving her delivery. Two smarky idiots without street cred is too much. Have the writers define a "Morgan" voice for her that's different from Adam's. While her blog shows that she's obviously intelligent and she has a rep. for being a semi-smart cookie, unless they show it off she's going to be remembered as TechTV's big busted wannabe bimbo and not for whatever lies behind the body. There's a brain there somewhere, I just wish they'd let her use it.

End of rant.

k9
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Ranting. For no real reason.

I was up very very late last night doing strange updates to work pages that I probably shouldn't have in my state of mind. I had a total nightmare about it with my boss IM'ing "We shall talk soon" in big letters. Of course he hasn't done that in real life, but you never know that he won't the way life is going these days.

I was up early. Seriously early for me, the fact that I'm blogging before 8 AM either means that my stomach was a mess or that I had to go to the bathroom. I don't think it was either this time, though I did fall asleep with a headache and seem to have woken up with its twin. I'm going to drown it with allergy pills sometime soon. If I remembered to buy any.

I watched TSS last night for the first time in quite a long time. To be honest with you, I was totally turned off by the Screen Savers over the past month that I just turned it off. There was too much Jessica, Kevin & Sarah as "the couple no one gives a damn about though they throw it down our throats" and well, just plain stupidity for me. I know you've read this in a million, wait, this is TechTV, strike that, 5 or 6 TechTV blogs over the years, but the show started to suck blah blah blah and I stopped watching.

The feeling was that for those masturbating to Jessica and Sarah's bouncing boobies, it was great. For those who cared about the "I love you sweetie" "I love you too" "No Leo, you can't watch" drama that played out every night, it was better. However, those who wondered where the hell the Tech went on the channel, well, were totally screwed, but let's face it, no one there cares about THEM anyway.

The good news is that I watched last night and I probably missed the blather from Jessica and Sarah. From what I saw, they were barely on the show and Sarah slipped in one suggestion of her true love and her sweetie (I did schedule a barf break here, didn't I? I mean one more mention of Sarah's sweetie and ... oh god I hope that comes out of the keyboard ...), but otherwise wasn't too completely obnoxious in the "My daddy figure produces this show and I'm sleeping with the new star so I'm an expert on technologoby and you want to sleep with me, peon!" attitude that so overwhelmed most of the shows in June.

Jessica was a non-issue. That's a good thing. Her boobs are the reason she's there. That's my damn opinion anyway. Her boobs are the reason that someone as totally qualified (and apparently less appealing to the masturbating hordes that they feel they want as their viewership) as Megan Morrone sits off-camera making half of what she made before she got pregnant. In my own damn opinion, TechTV screwed Megan over and made everyone at the network aware that even though all the courts say you can't do it, in TechTVland pregnancy = a one way ticket back to internship. Seeya!

I turned off the volume for TechLive. Chris Leary is an idiot. Nothing will change that. I'll watch it any day he's not on it. Otherwise, I'm sorry, but he's an idiot. He's in the idiot role (much like Cat, Morgan, Martin -- well EVERYONE at Unscrewed, and Jessica are cast), and the sad thing to me is that they've deemed him the face of the network. He's Mr. TechTV and by god, if you needed one reason to turn the channel and watch something else (besides Cat, Martin, Jessica, Morgan, Sarah ...), it would be the fact that Leary is out there ... waiting ... to stink up another show each night!

One refreshing change was Fresh Gear. Pardon the pun. I like the pairing of Brett Larson and Kris Kosach. The fact that one of the segments was at Kris' apartment and they showed her without a giant coat over her amazed me. I have this feeling that Kris is perpetually cold in the studio and she needs at least 10 layers of clothing and to keep moving or she'll freeze to death. So someone, anyone, at TechTV, please spare the small person (she's only 4'2" tall for god's sake!), and turn up the heat in the studio! Let her show off a bit people might watch -- for she's one thing that Sarah and Morgan and Jessica (I'd say Cat too, but the adjectives I'm about to use don't really apply to her) aren't -- she's a pretty girl who actually knows what she's talking about! They haven't had lightning like this since Becky Worley was relegated to giving up her desk duty in exchange for segments featuring all day nude sunbathing sessions with the over-50 GPS crowd. They haven't had someone like this since Erica Hill and Sumi Das left the network for tiny roles at bigger stations! By god, it might be the second coming of greatness at the channel!

Nah, probably not, but it was worth ranting about.

I'm off to start the day.

k9
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Home

Well I've been home for a day now but I haven't had time to sit down and blog. It's been an interesting week. I was unable to access my AOL for most of the week and with the connection, I couldn't access a lot of things I had planned to do. Of course it caused a lot of problems that I could not fix or stand up to until I got home. Without online I was bored during the day. I honestly can see how people get so bored that they accidently commit suicide by trying to figure out famous suicides.

"So the rope would go like this, he'd have to stand like this, but then where does the goat come in? Oh, oh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiie!"

Igao and Bubba Gump are next to me lying on my shoes and playing with a bottle cap. These cats are weird. Seriously weird, but it's kind of cool that they're not letting me out of their sight since I got home.

I don't have much to say this morning, it's like my brain vanished when I came in the door. I think once the new modem is in, I'm going to see if Jim and Kevin can help me move both my desk and my entertainment center. I don't know if the change will do me any good, but it would be a change to break the rut that I've been meaning to do for a long time but I'll probably never get around to doing.

Oh well, the other rut is what's waiting for me as I switch over to work and go back into the fight.

God stop the world, I need another vacation.

k9
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Reeeeeeeeeally Fast

Running late, should already be packed and out the door.

In the grand tradition: Please, if something happens to me while I'm on the road, please make sure "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp is played at my memorial service.

Also, Evil Jim is not allowed to make a profit off of the jewelery he's going to make out of my bones. Any profit goes to the house, dammit.

Those who get individual packets of ashes should spread them places I've never been. Yes, Kevin Adams of Hershey, PA, that means you should spread your packet someplace where I NEVER WENT IN LIFE. So for you, young man, it's to spread my ashes as the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas. Why? Because if there's one person on earth whose sex life needed more professional help than mine ...

To all those I loved, I do still love you with everything, whomever you are.

To all those I hated, neener neener blah blah blah on you.

With that, I am fully awake this time (unlike last time where I was sound asleep for at least 1/4th of the ride home), so it's a good day to be awake and face fate.

Talk to you later.

k9
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Being Nothingness.

I don't know how I can be so tired. I did absolutely nothing this week at all. Hotel. Mall. Hotel. Mall. Hotel. Mall. I've actually decided to stay an extra day in order to see if I can actually make it into the big city and to get the car checked out. Our plans kept getting changed and I really wasn't ready to go home yet. This was one of the suckier vacations so far when it comes to time with people and I just wasn't ready to go.

Then again, I miss the animals at home terribly. My dad mentioned Bubbagump was hiding in one of the closets downstairs and I remembered the little guy and felt bad for being away, and second I got pissed off because my folks know that he's not allowed downstairs. I'd have pitched a fit if they pulled that while I was there.

My parents aren't hippies. My parents were probably the most conservative screwed up people there were in the 1970s. Sure my dad had a drinking problem, but he never got wild and crazy. My mom's craziness doesn't exist. Sure she does a lot of stupid things, as we all do, but she never sat down and defined anything too weird about her personality.

Together they are the most irresponsible people in the world. It's kind of cute in a way, but in others it's maddening. Both of them think nothing of putting animals out in the rain. Sure they know better than to put the dogs out during a lightning storm, but on more than one occasion they've let a cat out during the middle of a snow storm and never thought to check to put the damn thing back inside. I've asked if they would have let me out in it if I were a little kid and they said yes, but the real answer I'd have as a kid would be a mute silence because they were never home enough to handle things like "there's a tornado in the backyard, can I go out and play in it?"

I love them but I really don't know what would happen if they were left on their own. My dad doesn't do anything other than grill on the BBQ and try to win in radio contests. He wins little things like donuts and entries into bigger contests that he'll never win. My Mom is gone all the time on mystery shops (she will do so until the day she dies because it's her sole escape from my dad and the pressures of being around my dad). The house gets cleaned by them whenever company is coming, that's a big production number, but just for us, dirty carpets and dishes piling in the sink.

I try to do what I can but sometimes I get so busy as well and so lazy, let's be honest here, that I forget. One thing leads to another and the whole bunch of us are doomed to a life of slobbiness on our own, dreadfully clean when company is around.

I started the book "Casino Moscow" by Matthew Brzezinski last night. It's another easy read that I'm probably going to devour today if my travel plans fall through. Yes, another nonfiction, don't ask me why but I find them more interesting at times since I know the stories are based on real events. This one is about the rise of the Soviet Super Bankers who control Moscow. From the picture he's painted, Moscow is a golden gem of commercialism while the rest of the country struggles to get 4 hours of hot water a day.

One of the best scenes early on involves his entrance to Moscow. He's on an ancient Soviet airliner and they're flying through heavy snow. In Kiev, deicing literally means there's a guy on the wing of the plane scooping the ice and snow off with a shovel before you take off. They made their flight to Moscow but landing was the problem, they encountered whiteout conditions. Since the old Soviet planes had little or no modern equipment, landing relied soley on the eyesight of the pilot ... in a whiteout blizzard. They ended up missing the landing strip and going for another pass. If that failed, they'd have to go back to Kiev.

Even after almost dying on the first landing attempt the passengers on the plane encouraged the pilot to try again. Why? Because the unanimous feeling was that they'd all rather die in the whiteouts of Moscow than spend another night in Kiev. I felt the same way about Orlando, Florida. :)

So it's time to get off my butt now and take a shower. I have another hour or so to see if we're getting together today or if I'm finishing my book. Happy happy.

k9
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Stupidity

I feel like the dumbest peson on earth. I went to the mall to pass some time. Hit the Best Buy first to pick up some DVD-R's then crossed the street, made a right, and went my merry way to Sears. Went through Sears into the mall, went to two or three stores then came out with my packages ... and there was no car.

I went back into Sears and out the other door, no car. Back in through the far door, no car. Went up and down the rows of the mall lots near Sears and nothing. Went back in, came back out and tried it again, nothing. Finally flagged down Mall security and he drove me around until we found my car ... two lots over in front of a completely different store.

I think I'm losing my mind. No one had tampered with the car, I had just parked wrong. To my credit, the store I was parked outside of looked quite a bit like Sears, but still, I feel like an idiot. I swear that I'm getting dumber by the minute.

Made it back here and the trunk wouldn't unlock. I think there's something wrong with the door. Either that or I simply forgot how to work a key. I wouldn't rule that out, however, I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with that door. I'm going to check it again when I go out later.

Provided I can find my damn car.

k9
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Ugg

I woke up at 7 AM again instead of 8. It's actually 8 now and I've spent the last hour on my work account trying to pull up mail (or anything else for that matter) and 28.8. It's not a pretty sight. I gave up with about 100 e-mails to go. I don't know if this will be held against me or not, since I've worked every other vacation in the past, but this year I'm having trouble connecting, opening screens, and just generally being around.

I'm tired. I'm not really grumpy but I'm tired. I'm not really myself either. I think I should feel rested and be full of energy, when really I have a slight headache and my nose itches. I'm craving a soda right now and that's GOT to be bad for me. This room also smells of a thousand dead smokers, even though it's a nonsmoking room. I think I've been cooped up here so long that I'm finally starting to notice how crappy the room is.

Waiting for my mail to load. It's one of those things that seems to be painful today. The server could probably go down and come back up three or four times in the time it takes me to load a single page. I don't know if that's good or if that's bad but it's annoying the heck out of me. I just want to see it list the 24 mail messages I have stored over on reallycool then go on with the day.

I do.

It's my last day on vacation here. Tomorrow is the long drive home. The major plans for the day are to meet for dinner and that'll be that. We had one really good day hanging out then the world pops up and every plan has gone to pot. Long time readers KNOW that this is the usual way my vacations go. The one exception was last year in Canada with Laura. She was a force of nature on to herself. Maybe a 20 minute nap in the afternoon, but the rest of the day was spent just on the go, constantly in motion. She'd probably kill me if I made her go at my pace, which is vacationing as an excuse for day long naps, getting things done that I had always planned to do but never had time to do, and, of course, reading.

I'm in the middle of George Carlin's "Napalm and Silly Putty" right now. Another collection of rants by the master. I'm also reading "Death: At Death's Door," an manga adventure featuring Death from the Sandman series. It's okay so far, the fact that it's manga is throwing me off a bit but it's good, it fits right into the "Season of Mists" story line from the main Sandman comics years ago. Totally worth checking out, but be warned -- I found it in the middle of the section of manga aimed at young girls at Walden. While it's totally aimed at fans of Sandman, you might have to see a lot of smiling long legged manga girlie books to get to what you want (note to Brit: if you liked Supergirl, you'll like this, it's nutty).

So that's my day so far. All hour and a half that I've been up. I think I'm going to get up, get dressed, then do the math and figure out when the mall opens.

k9

Blahs

I finished my Harpo Marx book. I'm down. The fact that I devoured the 482-page book means how much I loved it. Every spare moment I had I put into that book, and now I'm sitting here wondering what to do next. I'm a slow reader some times, but when I really like a book or a series I'll tear through them as quickly as possible. That's what I did with Harpo and now I'm sitting here feeling like I'm missing an old friend.

I'm tired, hungry too. Waiting to hear from a friend then to see what we're going to do for dinner. I spent most of the day doing this and that, editing the bulk of what I had left to edit and putting it to DVD. I have another stack in front of me and I'm sort of amazed that I got so much done today without doing anything really. Cut this here, save that there, burn. For most of the hours I patiently read my book while the machine handles the rest. I could get used to that.

I have two more dvds to go. I'm hoping that I can get them done tonight. That'll get me down though, I'll have finished this huge stack of projects that I had to do on my own and I'll be puttering around again. I've yet to find inspiration to write strips yet; I really don't know where that will come from, but right now my only source of inspiration is my tummy and my tummy says "feed me."

So I'm off in search of pringles. Dammit. I'm a slave to Mr. Pringle. He's an evil demonic force in the universe.

Honest.

k9
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Next Day

Yesterday was a day of missed opportunities and missed trains. Nothing went as planned and really, I didn't expect it to. Ended up hanging out with a friend for about two hours and dinner and that was the day. Spent the rest of it at the hotel vegging out, reading my book, and watching TV. I'm a very patient person. I know that. I always have been. While there are times that I'm a spaz, I can get through the most boring or most painful times by putting my mind in another place and willing myself through it. Because of this, for a guy, I'm a pretty good shopping partner. I don't throw fits and you'll never see if I'm bored out of my mind because I'll manage to find something even halfway neat to look at and concentrate on that.

I'm not one to spoil the party or call too much attention to myself either. I kind of like invisibility. That's why switching shirts from plain Jane vanilla to something a little more flashy really took me some thinking about to try. Especially yesterday when I got all decked out, went out, and didn't make my connection. I was the guy in the wild shirt at the station looking stupid and not saying anything. I don't know if it made me more approachable or not, but an old lady did pass some time by comparing PDAs with me as she waited for her ride. That was a trip, she had a Palm Zire and knew technology. "In my country" or "Out on top of the hill where I live" NO ONE knows technology. PDAs are still a mystery and I'm that weird fella who has one.

I don't know if I like everyone being up on technology. Stops making me unique, I guess. It's like the professor on Gilligan's Island. He was top dog -- ON THE ISLAND -- when they got off the island all he did was invent things that had already been invented. He went from king of the hill and getting some attention from Ginger and Maryann because he could invent the bicycle powered washing machine to nothing (well, okay he was stalked by a bunch of college girls in the reunion movie, but that was due to his charm and not his inventive prowess), over night.

I really don't know how this ends. I'm half awake, mind you, again waking up at 7 because I thought it was 8. My thinking is all off right now. Since I have to be on at one time and off on another. It's almost 6:50 am local time. That's what I have to keep remembering. So I'm going to give myself ANOTHER complex by having to subtract an hour while I'm doing what I have to do this morning.

I'm editing videos right now. I still had some left over from Friday and I think I'll burn them to DVD today. I do have time to do that. I haven't had the inspiration to do new strips, which I had wanted to do, nor have I done anything of importance on this trip. I guess that's what vacation is all about. I'm losing myself in nothingness and I kind of like it. Well kinda.

On that note ...

k9
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Morning

So I gave in and went to sleep in my big bed. I did better tonight, I slept all up to 7 AM my time when I opened my eyes, forgot I had changed the clock and decided that it was 8 AM my time and time to get up. It took me about a minute to put two and two together and realize otherwise. By then, of course, I was wide awake and once I'm wide awake I'll never get back to sleep.

I'm trying some new shirts out today. Well one new shirt out today, anyway; I'm not into stripes or patterns on shirts. I used to be eons ago, and I used to have a fond affection for wild t-shirts, but something happened to change all of that. Once I even got into Hawaiian shirts, or the idea of being that wild guy with one. It didn't last that long as my best friend, who had some strange idea of who I should be and declared that "James Knine does NOT wear Hawaiian shirts ..." Later he declared that "James Knine does NOT sing "Surfing Bird"..." too but I think that was to escape the emotional torment and abuse that is my singing. I sing great. It's the listening part that kills people. :)

So anyway I'm trying shirts with patterns. I don't know if I can pull it off but I am trying to better myself in whatever tortured way I can. I don't think it's going to lead to great things like a new job or regular sex, but at least I'll be snazzy for all the delivery people who bring packages for my mom.

Today I'm going to go into a big city. You all have ready my adversion to cities by now. Too many people, too many noises, not enough quiet. Which is strange, flashing back again, because I used to go to Seattle by myself when I was 13 or 14. My folks didn't care. They'd drop me off at the park and ride and I'd catch a bus in to go to Pike Place Market by myself. It was always a long rainy day and exploring the market for the half a dozen hidden comic shops was probably among the best times in my life.

My parents weren't very big into parental responsibility. They were pretty much strangers for a long time and probably still are. I remember walking two miles to kindergarten in Puerto Rico by myself. Sure it was still on the military base community, but for goodness sake, I was 5 years old and walking by myself. Maybe the very fact that my parents were strangers when I was that young is one of the reasons I'm a stranger to the world these days. I was pretty much responsilbe fore feeding myself, entertaining myself, making sure I got everywhere on time and, of course, making kool-aid. I used to be addicted to that stuff.

Not to get into a "these days" speech again, but these days some of the joys in life are lost due to too much structuring. Too many planned activities, team sports, socieities, all designed to "better" kids who probably would be better off sitting at home and playing with their star wars figures.

But that's another rant for another time.

It's now 9:01am my time, I have to catch a train at 10:30am local time and somewhere along the way I'll figure out where the heck the train station is. Maybe. Dear god, I don't know where I'm going.

As usual.

k9
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Monday Night

I'm on vacation to a place with central time. I hate the time zone just because it's an hour behind Eastern time and I have to do math to figure out what time it really is. Last night I kept waking up and running over what the clock meant in relation to what REAL time it was. I finally gave up and reset the room clock to East coast time and that'll be that. Let all these weird people live on their Central time and I'll go about my Eastern, thank you very much.

I'm starting to get concerned, though. I don't want days to end. I keep fighting it; I know it's a losing battle and I know it doesn't make any sense but I'm starting to cling to every day like it was my last. I sure as hell don't know why and it is so weird that right now, for example, I'm staying awake by will power alone. I've had about 10 hours of sleep out of the last 72 and I really should be sleeping.

Part of me doesn't want to start the day again, I guess. Maybe part of me wants to stay up until I get the day right. I'm so not sure about anything at this point other than I'll probably give into slumber and fall over in a minute or two.

With that said, I'm off. Goodnight and may the next day be brighter.

k9
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Monday

First, happy belated birthday to Evil James and a happy birthday to Brit. She's turning 37 today so be sure to look up her e-mail and send her a great big birthday greeting. :)

I am on vacatoin and I'm spending most of today devouring "Harpo Speaks!", the autobiography of Harpo Marx. I can't really describe it, he wrote it in 1962 near the end of his life and it's as funny and as engaging as a Marx Brothers movie. I stopped and started on page 80 a minute ago and I'm on page 117 now and wondering where the last hour went. I'm really loving this book.

The Marx Brothers are a lost art I guess. In fact the whole time they lived in is gone; there will be never this much freedom in America again. For example, Harpo quit school in the 2nd grade. Why? Because two Irish kids took great pains in throwing him out the window behind the teacher's back. When he finally got tired of being chastized by the teacher for "being in the bathroom" (you'd never rat out the bigger kids or face a beating), he let himself get thrown out the window one day, dusted himself off, and walked home. He never went back.

These days the child welfare department would be all over the fact that he wasn't in school. A commission would probably be set up on race relations as Irish kids (Irish Americans) throwing a young Jewish (Jewish American) boy out a window so much that it built up to the point that he quit school would be great cause of social alarm. People would go to jail and the teacher would loose her job for neglect and letting it happen. To Harpo in 1902 it was probably the greatest thing that could happen to him, it put things in motion that led to great success; today? he'd probably be hopped up on perscription drugs for overactivity and put in special ed classes to deal with his dysfunction.

One of his earliest gigs was playing piano at a whorehouse. He only lost it because he came down with the measils. Turns out that his brother Chico (who he was a dead ringer for) was also fired from the same job earlier that year when he was caught getting frisky with one of the girls. Chico was 14 or 15 and Harpo was 13 or 14 at the time.

I identify with Harpo, at least in his early life. As a kid I remember having so much trouble with my accent (I've lived SO many places that I speak in hodge podge), and speaking that I'd wish that I could stop talking (much like Harpo struggled with the fact that his voice never really changed). I remember being 12 or 13 and decided to think about everything I said before I said it so it'd come out in a way people could understand it. For a while people thought I was really really wise because it would take 2 or 3 seconds of thought before I'd answer. In reality I was scrambling for the right words to say and how to phrase it. I'd spend my time revising it and listening to how it'd sound like in the back of my mind before I'd actually say anything.

I don't know why I stopped doing it. I probably should have kept up with it. Now I speak without thinking; I don't take that time because I was giving myself a complex about it. Sometimes I think I'd be better off not talking, doing the whole Harpo thing and honking a horn instead of talking.

But how would any of you know what an idiot I was if I weren't constantly putting my foot in my mouth?

k9
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Friday Night

In the middle of a massive editing session. Trying to get all 9 episodes of "30 minute meals" edited and ready for burn to DVD tonight. It's taking about 15 minutes an episode. Okay, it's slower than I'd like, but I will have time to actually burn DVDs on Sunday once I get there. I'm not too pressed for time, but I am, and I know in my own way I want everything to be perfect. I can't control that, that's for sure, but I can try to do my best.

I have pretty much finished my laundry. I'm putting it away in stages and I'm sure the very last stage will be hanging up shirts. I don't know why I hate to do this. I mean shirt, hanger, put shirt ON hanger and be done. Somewhere in my little mind it's dull. It's not exciting. It's not something that can capture my attention. That's why, more often than not, the shirts are still lying on the floor in front of my closet in a pile 2 to 10 days after I've done laundry. In fact, often, they'll go from the clean pile to the dirty hamper without ever seeing a hanger.

Am I a slob? Not really. I just hate the whole tedious nature of shirts.

I don't think I'd like to live in a shirt-free society. Frankly, I don't like what I look like without a shirt on. I don't want to see what everyone else looks like either. After all, if the Cat Schwartz episode last month proved anything, it's DON'T GO TOPLESS IF YOU DON'T LOOK GREAT TOPLESS. End of story, end of rant, end of everything related to TechTV and people without shirts on. Why? Because shirtless TechTV people are scary.

You can quote me.

k9
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Friday Afternoon

I'm off work. Though I'm working. Well, not normal job. I'm in the middle of moving "30-minute meals" to DVD for a friend of mine. It's actually a decent little show. I'm not sick of it yet and I think I have 2 more episodes to get through before starting to transfer to DVD. I have to edit that, the latest Queer Eye, and two episodes of $40-a-day yet too, but don't get me started.

I'm getting to be pretty good with Ulead VideoStudio 7. Okay so it's not Premiere, but I don't need premiere. I take the commercials out of tv shows and throw them on DVD. I'm not making masterpieces here. It does exactly what you need to do for entry level video editing. What more can you ask for?

I am awaiting a RMA from ATI to send my 9700 Pro All in Wonder for repairs. It's out of my machine now and I have my old AIW 8500dv in there. The 8500dv isn't as good of quality as the 9700 Pro, but dammit, it's all I got right now. Waiting for ATI to get their act together is the hardest part. THEY COULD RULE THE WORLD, if only their customer service department actually serviced customers.

Ignoring Laundry that needs folded as well. I want to finish this episode of 30 minute meals and then take a nap. I've been reading my hard cover edition of the classic comic book "Watchman" before naps lately. It's the perfect time of year for it. A lot of rain and a totally compelling story to get into before taking a nap. I've been reading 1 issue (or chapter) a day and really can't believe that I didn't collect this series waaaaaaaaay back then.

Story telling has changed since the 80's. I can breeze through most comic books in about 3 minutes these days. There aren't a lot of words, or the words end up being skimmed, I guess. All I know is that I can sit down with Watchmen and go 10 or 15 minutes per chapter, excluding extras. Then I'm in such a state that I need a nap. I'm really looking forward to it now that I think of it.

Oh well, 2 more segments to go then I'm off to slumberland.

k9
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Headaches and other things

Getting five minutes to blog on a very busy day. My day started early as I had a dream that I really had to go to the bathroom. Whenever I'm having a bad dream I can usually wake myself up and make it go away. This time I couldn't as I really ahd to go to the bathroom. So there I was at 6-something AM running to the bathroom and scaring the cats.

This is the second weird wakeup in a row. Yesterday I had to get up early to go to a doctor's appointment, but my brain wasn't turned on yet. So I remember standing in the shower, water coming down on me, and I was about to use my deoderant as a wash cloth. I stood there for a minute before it registered that I grabbed the wrong thing and that it would be painful to proceed with washing my face with a hard plastic tube.

I have three more hours of work and then I am on PTO time until the 10th of August. That feels pretty good. I've been SO busy lately that I feel bad for crapping out on work just when I found my groove, but a vacation is a vacation and it's my time to go. Unfortunately, I still have quite a bit to do. I have a Tivo to empty tonight and make into DVDs after work today. That is going to be the bulk of the day. I also have to finish laundry, take the AOL Satellite dish off this machine in case they show up to put the new machine in, get norton and various other programs on the little machine, clean this room, get my bedroom in shape and be ready to leave tonight though I'm not leaving until sunday.

I'm planning on spending tomorrow down at Evil James' house to go see a movie and bit him over the head with things for his birthday. I gave him a stack of presents last time and I'm going to give him another smaller stack tomorrow. He is my resident keeper of the screw-ups when it comes to burning DVDs. I don't know why he has the stack he does right now, because my memory of this week is pretty shoddy at this point, but he can smile and be happy that they're there and waiting for him when the time comes.

Off to the shower then it's 3 actual hours of work until vacation.

Can you hear me dancing?

Good, teach me to dance while you're listening.

k9
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