Morning.

Before I start let's get this out of the way:

Morgan Webb's Boobs, Morgan Webb's Boobies, Morgan Webb's Breasts, Morgan Webb's Big Knockers, Nude Nude Nude Morgan Web, Morgan Web Nasty Secret -- NONE of which are here, but should put my blog up to #1 on the "Google search" for Morgan Webb's Boobies. It is one, err two, white whales that shall propel this blog to the top! To the very top!

Note: NONE OF THE ABOVE ARE ON THIS SITE. PICTURES OF SUCH DO NOT EXIST. YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED BY AN EVIL EVIL MAN. NOW GO VISIT LEOVILLE AND BUG THE PEOPLE THERE FOR TOPLESS PICTURES OF LEO OR OUR MAIN PAGE FOR MORE PICTURES.

Sorry, the madness took over.

Watching "Call for Help" now. Brett Larson is doing a thing on speakers with a guy from EXTREME TECH.

I actually like this segment. I really think that TechTV needs a Sunday morning show. Something sleepy, slow paced, and much like this. Do 4 segments and an intro for an hour on common products -- not the latest and greatest -- but like the speaker segment -- stuff that we should know about. The best keyboards, hard drives, etc. How to buy them, where to buy them, and how to put them in. Subjects that they cram into the other shows but there really isn't a place to feature.

Something they can REPACKAGE AND SELL with a timeless quality for the year and a half or so that you can find the products.

Brett should host but for god's sake, don't spoil it with Cat. I don't care who she has connections to, she's the pariah of TechTV. I see her and want to change the channel. And no, it's not a Sarah show. I mean do you REALLY want to wake up to that scowling face on a Sunday morning? I'm surprised that Kevin Rose hasn't shot himself yet ...

And for Christ's sake, NO LEO.

On that note, I really thing that TechTV should start focusing on things that they can repackage and sell. I know that food and craft shows share a timeless quality that you don't get with computers, BUT TechTV can learn a thing or two about how to produce a show about a subject or theme and keep the viewers hooked.

30-Minute Meals, for example, cooking show on how to get meals done in 30 minutes. I've learned more from this show in the past month and a half that I have in my 30+ years on the planet.

The format? 1 host and a subject. No guests. No "cool" tips. No cleavage. It is the antithesis of everything that TechTV puts on but it works. Why? Because it's simple enough that anyone can approach it. It also can be packaged and resold on DVD and people BUY THIS STUFF. If I wasn't making my own DVDs of it for a friend, I'd buy it too.

Alton Brown's Good Eats. Another show with 1 host and subject. It's funny without being obnoxious. Something that TechTV can learn from. No cleavage (did you know that TechTV hired Laura Swisher because she's got nice boobs and she farts on stage? Did you want to know? I sure as heck didn't ...) and the humor is funny yet it gets the point across. Again, people BUY THIS STUFF. It's HOT, it's cheap to produce and it can be repackaged and put on PBS or early morning TV.

Stuff to think about ...

k9
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Oh Dear God

BEARS.

I didn't get up and do wood this morning. It felt like rain and I didn't feel like moving. No one went outside, except for Cat, until around noon when power was knocked out by a storm. Got power back and my mom made the discovery of our garbage cans in piles with the bags spread out throughout the woods.

We've had bears before. No big deal. We've NEVER had them do this much damage to the garbage.

It gets better. I took my nap and she went back downstairs to see my dad. While I slept (about an hour) something returned and knocked the garbage cans over again.

The dogs don't bark when something is out there. My room is right next to the garbage cans and I'm a horribly light sleeper. I didn't really slept, I read then dozed, and I didn't hear a thing.

I felt like a horror movie idiot when my mom went out there and had me watching her back while she was picking up the piles. I was holding a tiny little shovel lol. Yah like THAT will defend anyone from a bear. Especially one so bold that it came back in broad daylight.

Dear god.

k9
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Dreams & Other Things

I had a dream last night that I was a comedian and I was doing a documentary on the remaining members of Monty Python. It took place at a large diner and all I really remember is that they were really old and really fiesty and I spent the whole time keeping them out of jail.

I'm not doing wood today. I don't feel like it. I have a million other things to do and this week wouldn't be a total waste if I lost another day. I got up late, I feel like hell, and I've confirmed that the cats are plotting against all of us.

Yesterday it was finding my speakers on the floor. I wasn't sure how they got there, but I know they weren't there when I went to bed. Today it was waking up, coming into the computer room and looking and seeing that someone had attempted to sign onto aol. Furthermore the password box was filled with stars and my caps lock was on.

Yes, one of the cats (probably Cat) is apparently walking around my desk again. How do I know? I don't but the first thing I saw this morning was him accidently knocking over a table in the living room.

He doesn't seem to be actively trying to kill us all, but since he's been able to go outside again, he's been a major PITA. I have this feeling that the next time he gets in a fight, I'm not putting him outside again. The rest of the cats are inside cats and he'll adapt.

He was such a nice cat for the entire summer when he couldn't go outside. Plus, he never started hacking until we let him out. Hmm ...

The rest of the cats? Iago has decided that my computer chair is his new spot. So any time I get up for more than a minute and a half he takes over then protests wildly when I try to sit in my own chair. Gump is in a weird mood where he needs attention all the time; well until about 8 PM then he could care less about the world. Mayhem is finally adapting to being upstairs and Thrashie has taken over the kitchen and beats the living hell out of the dogs if they go near her.

Anyone want 5 cats?

I have a headache. I'm going to take the morning to shave.

This should be interesting.

k9
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Randoms

I had three dreams last night that I remember:

1) I was a wrestler in the WWE who was paired with hottie women's wrestler Lita in an angle where she was secretly cheating on her real life boyfriend. It lead to an affair between us in the dream and she had to choose between me and him. She chose him but we made out anyway.

2) I was dropping off fliers for some reason at an ultra hip new barber shop/salon. He asked about my barber, I said the barber's name, he asked if that guy was still alive. He started tempting me with his ultra advanced shop. How I could do this and that to my hair and it'd look so much better ... and I was about to give in when the dream shifted to ...

3) I was in high school again. Two new students that had nothing to do with each other transferred into class on the same day. One of them was a congressman's son who was talking on a cell phone. The other was Kirsten Dundst. Yes, I'm supposed to have been over that crush but she looked so much hotter in my dream. She sat behind me and class went on. I knew the cell phone kid to be an asshole. He got a call during class and actually shushed us to be quiet. When the teacher tried to do something about it, he threw money at him. I got pissed off and called the guy an asshole and he glared at me then stomped out to the hall.

The new girl, sitting behind me, started crying. She was his girlfriend. She moved from school to school with him. She didn't want to be in the relationship any more but she had no other choice. I don't know where the dream went from there. It was Kirsten Dundst, she was talking to ME and I was falling in love with every word. There was a fight with the guy and she kissed me and ended up leaving with him and I woke up ...

See any patterns here?

Watching the Republican spin on the Iraq situation. Nope, it's not FOX News, it's CNN and it's Donald Rumsfeld explaining that we're not going alone, that we have a TON of countries backing us. Trouble is they're either countries we've never heard of, countries we've "liberated" and are heavily funding, or they're just pathetic little countries that we've set up to be on this list. Honest to god, I think he repeated the same country 3 times in his list.

They're looking for funding. They want us to pay another $87 BILLION to bail out Iraq. He keeps saying it's about terrorists and rooting out terrorists. Hitting the terror word. He needs a plate in front of him like us Catholics do it. Start up the music and pass the plate around. Don't stop until it's full. Hell, put on dancing girls and have them strip for America! I mean if we're prostituting everything to get money out of America (and the rest of the world) there should at least be a compelling floor show!

I just think we should have had 3 questions answered before we started the sexual activity known as the invasion of Iraq:

1) How much effort it will take to get off

2) How long it will take to pull out

3) HOW MUCH IT WILL COST!

It's like my "frugal" friend Kevin Adams of Hershey, PA going to the Chicken Ranch in Las Vegas (once he has the breakdown), he needs a break down of all the prices and has to haggle before considering any activity. Then borrow money from all of us to afford the 5 and a half minute event. He's the richest friend I have but he'll have blown his wad of bills on the blackjack table.

I think all casinos should be computerized they should keep track of every gambler by name and how much they've won or lost. That list, along with PICTURES of the gambler, should be available on gambling sites on the Internet. Then we should be able to place bets on each one and how much money they'll win or lose at the casino.

YOU'D MAKE MONEY BETTING ON KEVIN TO LOSE!

Hell, my friend Evil James makes more money at casinos then Kevin does and all he does is drink and slots!

By the way, the idea is patent pending. You can buy it off of me for $5,000,000. That's $5,000,000 up front, U.S. currency only, I'll do a happy dance immediately and the only effort you'll have to put into it is give me the money.

You'll make your money back in 3 hours of betting on Kevin to lose!

k9
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Uggmost Morning

I'm awake. I don't feel awake. I have a pounding headache and my stomach is a mess. It rained too hard last night to go out and do wood this morning. The backyard is a mess of muck and water. It always amazes me that we can be on top of a mountain and still have a swamp for a backyard. This is two days in a row of yucky mornings. Yesterday I just said the hell with the world and played WWE Raw 2 for Xbox most of the morning. It started an insane quest to fill my xbox's harddrive with songs to use for create a wrestler.

I'll probably create Leo again just because I ripped "Cowboy" by Kid Rock to my drive there.

Yes, you should be scared.

Raw 2 is pretty damn good. It's a deep game. Gameplay is lite, but you really play it to find out what happens next. Like in season mode, I'm going made starting fights with title holders trying to get my shot at the title. ANY title. Instead of 75 matches with Molly Holly and Randy Orton, I want to take on the big guys!

Dammit. You know, I actually have "the Brady Bunch's Greatest Hits" in my collection of CDs. I ripped 3 songs off of the CD to use for different characters on xbox. I did notice that the songs sound GREAT when they're on TV. For years I thought they were polished singers ... and then I put the actual CD in and my god, it was like all the kids were drunk and off key in EVERY song. The horror. The horror.

Even Evil James sings better than this!

I'm scared.

k9
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Awake

I'm very tired. The drive up from Hershey always screws me up. Feels a little worse than normal as I was already pretty zonked before going down. While I was gone yesterday my mom made progress on the skunk smell but it still lingers. I bought all sorts of candles and perfumes at Wal-Mart yesterday to help with it and she ended up throwing out the carpets the dog slept on. How bad is it? We got to Jim's and opened up my xbox bag and it smelled of skunk -- it was at the farthest end of the house in my bedroom, yet there it smells of that wonderfully horrible creature.

"Underworld" was a lot better than I expected. Like a thrill park ride. Kate Beckinsale immediately stole Evil James' heart. She reminds me of my friend Chellie the Okto-Girl. Tight anime inspired outfit with really big boots. That's Chellie all the way. Now if she ever buys that outfit, we're all dead. :)

The storm damage was much worse down the river than it was up here. Evil James' parents had a huge tree falling apart in their front yard. In another area we saw a tree down on powerlines, which didn't look very good at all. One thing that I noticed, and we've been through far worse storms than this one, was that all the leaves from the trees were down in the road for the first time, which really played hell with my allergies. It was like cutting the grass without a bag on the back of your mower, you leave a trail of dead grass behind you in clumps -- well there were those clumps everywhere all over the highway.

Have to work in a few. It's the day from hell for work, then afternoon shifts and hauling wood all week. Dear god. I know my body's changing but I'm not getting any upper body strength. I've never had upper arm strength but it was sad that I couldn't tear open a half frozen thing of pizza dough. The pizza went over well, though it was more of a New York style pizza than the deep dish I wanted to make. I'll make deep dish again when the guys come up.

With that, I'm off to take a shower.

k9
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Afternoon

We got hit pretty hard by the storm though it wasn't half as bad as the dire threats that we expected. After working so hard this week I finally collapsed in bed for the afternoon. It was bad out earlier so I took PTO time for the day and decided to crash. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and with all the extra work on the wood I was pretty much a zombie. I'd probably still be in bed, however, the garbage man DID show up today and the dogs went insane as usual. That was enough to get me out of bed.

It's raining now. Cat the cat wants out and he's loudly complaining that I'm a meanie head for not putting him out in the storm. I try to explain that I love him and that going out in the wet and high winds (it's still kinda crappy out) would be a bad thing. He doesn't want to listen. He's a very hands on kind of cat. In other words: A nut.

Going to Evil James' house tomorrow. I need this break. I do. We're going to go see "Underworld" and then I'm going to make pizza. I'm working on my own deep dish ensemble. I made a trial run of it today. So we'll see how it turns out.

Is it weird that part of my birthday wish (a week and change away) would involve Summer here to help haul wood and Stef here to chase me around the yard after I managed to provoke a beating?

It probably is.

I'm off to burn some dvds and catch up with nothingness.

k9
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The Storm

I'm guessing that the eye of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isabelle is over us now. We had hard rain and winds all night but now it's calming out there. No real lightning with this storm. Just rain and lots of it.

I'm going to try to get everyone fed then try for a shower before the power goes out again. I don't know what it is but I wake up a split second before the power goes out. I can't breathe. It happened 2 or 3 times during the night and has happened a few times before this. Add to that the fact that my answering machine loudly tells me to record a greeting and ... well I'm up now. 3 strikes and I'm up.

The house still smells of skunk. My mother, in her great experiment with prime rib, made a dinner last night that absorbed the skunk. She says she couldn't taste it. I tasted it with every bite. Needless to say that I didn't eat much. I had the potatoes instead, I could cover those in gravy and forget the smell.

I am being pestered by animals now. All wanting food well before their time to eat. Oh well. I'll check in later.

k9
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morgan webb picture 1 0 %
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In early.

Roscoe the dog. Skunk. Sometime last night. My mom put him out after I went to bed. He got in a fight with something then she didn't notice that white doggie is yellow.

He smells. The house smells. Everything smells.

After doing wood I stopped early to take a compound the vet told us to mix up and apply it to him. Scrubbed the yellow off of him but man, oy vey there's nothing worse than skunk.

Even Kevin Adams of Hershey, PA, after 8 ice cream bars and two pizzas can't compete.

k9
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Overdoing it.

The hurricane is coming tomorrow night. It's on the news. Supposed to hit west of us but we're expecting 2-4 inches of rain on friday.

I finished throwing wood this morning and I immediately turned to hauling and stacking. I must say that going from one repetative, mind numbing job to another -- not quite the same -- repatative, mind numbing activity can take a lot out of you. After an hour and a half of throwing I was tired, after 2 more hours of hauling and stacking wood, well, I wasn't making any sense.

It took a can of coca cola and a plate of bacon, toast and potato circles to get me back to normal. I'm exhausted now (even after lying down for 2 hours), and I get to go out there and work 4 hours on the pile tomorrow morning! Whoo hoo.

Someone, anyone, kill me now.

k9
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My Brain (Yes! I have one!)

Brit posted this quiz in her blog. Here are my results. Note, they're slightly off because I didn't like the answers you had to choose from ...

Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 42%
Visual : 57%
Left : 42%
Right : 57%


k9, you possess an interesting balance of hemispheric and sensory characteristics, with a slight right-brain dominance and a slight preference for visual processing.

Since neither of these is completely centered, you lack the indecision and second-guessing associated with other patterns. You have a distinct preference for creativity and intuition with seemingly sufficient verbal skills to be able to translate in any meaningful way to yourself and others.

You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend to details. You can give them sufficient notice to be able to utitlize and incorporate them as part of an overall pattern.

In the same way, while you are active and process information simultaneously, you demonstrate a capacity for sequencing as well as reflection which allows for some "inner dialogue."

All in all, you are likely to be quite content with yourself and your style although at times it will not necessarily be appreciated by others. You have sufficient confidence to not second-guess yourself, but rather to use your critical faculties in a way that enhances, rather than limits, your creativity.

You can learn in either mode although far more efficiently within the visual mode. It is likely that in listening to conversations or lecture materials you simultaneously translate into pictures which enhance and elaborate on the meaning.

It is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are predominantly visual but include some logic or structuring. You may either work particularly hard at cultivating your auditory skills or risk "missing out" on being able to efficiently process what you learn. Your own intuitive skills will at times interfere with your capacity to listen to others, which is something else you may need to take into account.

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Long Morning

Got up at 7 and pretty much threw 3/4 of the 3rd load of wood down the hill. It is getting to the point where the pile at the bottom of the hill is almost as tall as the hill itself. This is starting to scare the hell out of me. I plan on finish throwing it tomorrow then stacking like crazy (or until my arms fall off) tomorrow, then covering it and stacking some more if it's not raining like hell on Thursday. The big deal is that we have all the possible projectiles down the hill and out of an open area.

When I say stacking until my arms fall off, I mean it. I'm going to be out there at 7 and I'm planning on going until 10 or 11. I normally do 2 hours tops, but, as long as the gnats aren't blinding me like this morning, I want to get as much done as humanly possible. I hope that this storm is just a big let down, but in case it isn't, I want to be prepared and to have that stuff covered up before it hits.

Went to allergies this morning and they liked my shirt (see webcam); though my hair needs work. I seriously need a stylist but I'm waiting for my barber to die ...

Oh well, off to nap.

k9
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Quickly

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAURA BURSTEIN!!!

k9
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Ugginess

It is early yet and I'm not awake. I had to be up early this morning because I have an 8 am cleaning at my dentist. No big deal, however, I decided to go to bed early. I guess I'm a creature of patterns. Set patterns. If I throw my sleep schedule off too much I screw myself up. Going to bed early to wake up early results in nightmares and I had a doozy of one to wake myself up about 20 minutes ago. The sad thing is that I don't have to be up for another 2 hours.

So I'm sneaking on the work computer (thankfully connected via my network) and I'm here without cats or dogs wanting early food. I have many weaknesses. One of the primary ones is that I can't stand to see something sick or hurting. People, animals, situations, you name it. As stupid as it sounds, I can't walk away, I do what I have to do in order to help or make the situation better. I call it a weakness because if I'm not careful, I can spend my whole life and all of my time doing stupid things like rescuing a moth from the cats or getting up extra early to put out food for the birds, even though it's late summer and there's tons of sources of food for them.

I don't get a lot of time alone lately. As much as I love them, the animals do take up a lot of time. All 5 cats and both dogs are upstairs. My mom is gone all the time and my dad is in his state of being downstairs. So it's pretty much up to me to see to their needs. It can get to you after a while. For example, I'm thankful for this computer because now that I can connect to the internet via my network (over my dish), I can write in my bedroom (I don't allow animals in here at night because of my allergies), and I don't have a little face looking up at me demanding food early. Thrashie (oldest cat, cursed with diabities), will cause a scene if she doesn't get wet food when she wants it (we do leave out tons of dry); and she's figured out that if she makes a stinky potty in the litterbox down the hall, I'll get off my butt to go clean it out (it is the worst smell known to man, and that includes the room clearing gas of one Kevin Adams of Hershey, PA), then, since I'm now up, I'll get around to getting her what she wants.

I do feel bad for admitting that but not so bad that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep again.

k9
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First, I want to start with a big CONGRATS to Steffilliffiness who got an award for her art. You can see her art HERE. FANTASTIC job! This is actually the first time I've seen her work and I must say I'm totally impressed. :)

Now back to me whining ...

It rained. It rained hard and long and the backyard is a swamp again. I can't do wood today. I can't do it tomorrow and tuesday because of dentist and allergy appointments. Dear god. I told you this was going to drag on until October ...

Speaking of dragging, I'm dragging my butt around. I had a dream last night that I was having a screaming fight with my mother. She was bitching about money and how she wanted to get rid of the animals, MEANWHILE we were moving into a mansion that was so big it stretched over 3 or 4 city blocks. It made no sense and I was up at 4 am. Stayed awake until 5 then went back to sleep.

Still feel like hell from my sinus infection. My broken fingertips got a workout last night as I worked a boxing room. Actually, our boxing room had 42 overflow rooms so at the end of the Oscar De La Hoya/Sugar Shane Mosley fight we had 43 rooms and nearly 2150 people talking about the fight at one time. So I was going from room to room going "For live coverage, turn on ESPN or ESPN NEWS. You can also follow along at ESPN.COM." I didn't feel TOO bad about plugging somone else since our service didn't have anyone there and I swear last night it was like no one could think for themselves to turn on the TV to ESPN to get a fight update. I think out of the 2150, maybe 3 had actually bought the PPV event and they were gracious enough to provide commentary. It was rough and quite a workout ...

Going in to work now to follow up on the fight then start the day.

k9
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All Bundled Up ...

It rained last night and I'm still sick so I'm not doing anything today. I'm about to watch "The Fearless Vampire Killers (Pardon Me But Your Teeth Are in My Neck)", a spoof of vampire films. It was on TCM last night but since there was no one around to stay up and be scared with, I went to bed.

The other night my best friend and I watched Stanley Kubrick's "Lolita" on TCM. It was so odd that it was almost a farce. It was no where near as steamy as the 1997 version, but then again, for the subject matter (man falls in love and gets seduced by his teenage step daughter) and the way it's shot just blows your mind.

Oh well, off to get a shower.

k9
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Later Still

Watching the James Bond spoof "Casino Royale" on Turner Classic Movies. It features David Niven and Peter Sellers. I have this feeling that if God is everywhere and God can be anyone, God appears in each role as played by Peter Sellers.

I'm also kind of worried because most of my favorite movies are from a year or two before I was born. Classic comedies featuring jazz and the most beautiful women in the world. I don't know if I'm more scared that I know that I'd never fit into this perfectly cool type of world or that that world came to an end long before I was born.

Not sure if this is a good thing or not, but "the Look of Love" has to be the sexiest song ever made.

Dammit.

k9
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Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to former TechLive personality Robyn Heuseveldt. :)

k9
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Oh Man ...

Johnny Cash and John Ritter died. Cash was a legend when I was a kid, I wasn't much into him other than he was the scary guy in the elevator on an episode of "The Bob Newhart" show. But John Ritter, man ...

I grew up watching "Three's Company" when he was the coolest guy on TV. I mean he was the only guy to do pratfalls. THAT'S what I liked about his character. It wasn't that he was living with two women, he was the guy who could trip over his own feet!

Later, I liked the Problem Child movies. I wasn't big into his new TV series, but it pleases me that he made every problem child's dream come true and actually married ultra-hot co-star Amy Yasbeck. Go John.

They'll both be missed.

k9
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Two Days Later

The pizza I made the other was good. Sauce was too tangy, would have been better with a veggie pizza. I'll use normal sauce on a meat pizza next time.

I broke my fingertip. As Stef asked, "Was this somehow wood related?" and yes, it was. I somehow smashed my hand on a very large piece of wood. I remember smashing it and swearing, but not what I did. All I know is I have a large bruise on my fingertip. I wasn't aware that your fingertip can get bruised. It's so bizarre. It looks like I have newsprint on my hands.

I'm also zonked. I have a cold or a sinus infection. The very last thing I did last night before bed was take a couple of Nyquills. Since I have NO resistance to drugs or alcohol, I'm still zonked. I had the greatest B-movie dreams though.

We'll leave you to ponder. I really don't want to get into it. But I'm taking another Nyquill tonight though!

Scared.

k9
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Lunch.

My dad finally called about an hour after he said he'd call. Went over and got him then stopped at the store and picked up my blood pressure medicine and stuff for pizza. I am so tired at this point that I just don't care. I came home and went immediately into the kitchen, heated up the stove and I'm making quasi-deep dish pizza as we speak. It's so odd. I've never actually made pizza before. I've seen my mom do it, and I've helped, but my sole pizza-making experience has been reheating dominos pizza or heating up frozen pizza.

So I guess this is a big step.

Got the wrong kind of sauce, got it with olives and sun-dried tomatoes in it, but hey, it's pizza, I making it, now I hope to god it's edible.

God help us all.

Have to be to work in 32 minutes. No sleep this afternoon. Good lord, I'm tired.

k9
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Boom.

I blew out my speakers last night on my TV computer. Second time in my life that I've blown out a subwoofer/speaker system. They build up electricity and if you don't turn the units off, over time they go BOOM. It wasn't under warranty so I bought a warranty on the new set that's coming. I didn't want to put out the money, but once you've gone high end, you can't go back to slumming ... sound wise that is.

I'm so tired right now. I'm waiting around here for another 40 minutes before I have to get in a car and go get my dad. I might just wait 20 minutes then leave him a message on the answering machine that I'm on my way to get him. I'm not doing much of anything but sitting here dazed. Finished throwing the 2nd load of wood today. If all goes well, load #3 will be there tomorrow. I might just throw it on top of this pile just to see how insanely high I can get a stack of wood.

Stacking isn't that bad this year. I mean it's totally mind numbing and horribly stressful, but it's not as bad as throwing. Throwing means lifting a large piece of wood and throwing it a good 20 or 30 feet down a hill. I'm NOT the world's strongest man. I'm not very strong at all, so the fact that I can get some of these giant pieces of wood down a hill is pretty darn impressive. It's also taking a toll on my mind. I'm seriously zonked, if you can't tell. I'm having trouble concentrating and I just want this freaking mess to be over with as quickly as possible.

I really do.

k9
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What Day is it Again?

I'm tired. I think I'm replacing the Monopoly addiction with a vivid dreamer addiction. I was having the strangest dreams last night. I had a Chinese wife who lived on a computer screen who wanted loving or she'd interface with someone else. It got to the point where clothes where coming off and I was figuring out how to kiss a computer screen. Sadly, I couldn't find a way to do it so I gave her a divorce. Yes, this is how my weird dreams go.

Apparently the whole world is horny. As you can see below, "nude" "topless" and "Morgan Webb" seem to be the most used keywords by folks coming here. Pun intended. I actually won't be surprised if our top ten won't consist completely of Morgan Webb in various virtual stages of keyword undress by the end of the week. It probably wouldn't be the first time, but I guess I should start programming to those folks.

Then again, it would probably just be easier to add referals to porn sites so they can find what they really want since they won't find it here ...

k9
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More Fun with Keyphrases!

For the month so far ...

182 different keyphrases Search Percent
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k9 0 0.0%
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Okay I'm Scared.

Seriously. I'm scared. I'm totally scared.

I get out to the wood pile. I start throwing wood. I mean big pieces of wood that I should have strained and stressed out even coming close to picking up. I'm lifting them and I'm throwing them and I'm not feeling them.

Either I'm numb to the world or something's going on that I didn't sign up for.

Dear god. Muscles.

I'm scared.

k9
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Monday.

I have the usual sinus headache. I have to go out and throw wood in a few minutes. I could climb right back into bed and sleep the day away, however. My dad says he's sick with a cold. Maybe that's what I have. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe that's my excuse for feeling so lethargic. Maybe I'll sit here for 10 more minutes and see if it rains then spend the rest of the day in bed reading comic books. Maybe not.

I watched "Old School" on DVD yesterday. It wasn't that bad. It was actually a lot better than I had expected. Vince Vaughn is the coolest guy on Earth, BTW. Though it did give a cold chill as it had the preppie bad guy. You know, the one that has to warn the good guy away from the girl. Swarmy, preppie jerk who thinks he rules the world. I've actually encountered a few of them in the past and had a nice encounter Saturday night.

An ex-flame's new boyfriend hacked her AIM. I knew immediately it wasn't her as we haven't spoken in quite a long time and she always uses a specific font. When suddenly she's IM'ing out of the blue and using a dark font ... well, I assumed it was someone hacking her account. I was right. He identified himself as the boyfriend then proceeded to grill me on all sorts of things including if I had any "guilt." "Guilt?" I ask, not knowing that I HAD anything to be guilty about since the relationship was very brief and quite a long time ago, and he responds by saying "I'll take that with a grain of salt" then dimly changing the subject and starting to shoot the breeze.

I got the very clear vibe that this was a guy looking to show his dominance. That I was supposed to stay away from his possession. That he was the king of his mind. The fact that I no longer have feelings for his girlfriend nor do I linger about that particular relationship doesn't matter. You'll stay away from my girl or else!

K.

I wanted to IM back with "Uh, dude, stop being a jerk. You have the girl, I don't want the girl, and when you're lying next to her tonight be content that you HAVE her. If you want to LOSE her then you'll continue to act like a jerk and harass her old friends who have moved on with their lives ..."

But I didn't. I let his sleaziness ramble on until my shift was over and I left for the mall. Haven't heard from either one since.

Oh well, if there's any doubt folks, us guys be nutty, this proves that we are.

k9
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Sunday Morning

I'm sitting here staging a boycott of nothing in particular. I woke up at 6:30 or so, didn't start moving until 7 am, started reading comics at 7:30 then got out of bed by 8. My first act of walking around? Walked straight into cat barf with my bare feet. I decided at that point not to do anything today.

I took the morning off so I could throw wood. At this point it's foggy and I feel crappy so I'm not going outside.

I'm watching "the Blues Brothers," probably the best John Belushi movie ever made. I know, I just said that about Animal House, but Animal House really wasn't a Belushi movie. Sure he starred, but the story had little to do with him. Neither was my beloved 1941. As much as it pains me to say that. Blues Brothers? Fantastic. Just go out and rent it. I didn't discover it until well after my mind was warped by Bill Murray in "Stripes" and god knows what I would have become if I had found this movie earlier ...

While I'm doing recommendations: "Crisis on Infinite Earths" the trade paperback. $30 for 12 issues of a DC Comic from nearly 20 years ago. THIS is the comic book that shaped my comics influences. I was 14 years old and it came out each month. I remember turning 15 and (SPOILER WARNING) nearly crying when I brought the book home from 7-11 and read how Supergirl gave her life. It was probably the most compelling comics reading of all time.

Background: There were many, many, many worlds. That's explained how Batman and Superman were active in both the 1940's and the 1980's by putting the originals on a world called "Earth-2." That was a world of experiments. Batman had retired and become police commissioner (the later died, I believe), his daughter with Catwoman was called "the Huntress" (yes, they based the character from the short-lived "Birds of Prey" TV show on this incarnation of that character) and she was the Batman of that world in the modern age. Superman had married Lois Lane and both still worked at the Daily Star (the original name for the Daily Planet), Robin was an adult and a congressman, Supergirl in this world was Power Girl (oh frigging HUBBA HUBBA!) ... I could go on and on.

The point of the story was merging the Earths. There are hundreds of characters on a massive scale. The art is fantastic, by George Perez (the same guy who is doing the current JLA/Avengers mini-series), and the trade paperback's new coloring and crisp paper actually showcases the art A LOT better than the original comics (though the Blue Beetle doesn't look quite as cool as he did in the original comics -- but who cares? Only I care about the Beetle). The story was compelling and it was THE comic that set the tone for things to come.

There wouldn't have been Batman: The Dark Knight Returns or Watchmen without Crisis.

In other news, I'm kicking the Monopoly addiction. Stef said "No more Monopoly for you" and I listened. SHE HITS HARD. She's 14 hours away by car. I know if I get her pissed off enough, she'll get in the car and beat the hell out of me. So there's been no more monopoly since yesterday morning.

Though I almost bought it for GameCube for my niece and nephew ...

k9
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Doom.

I fell off the Monopoly wagon pretty hard tonight. I played two games. Could have played for hours though. I know it was the wrong thing to do; seeing that I'm fighting this new addiction and all, but I was bored and I was a mess ...

My folks decided that they're going to get 2 more loads of wood this year. I had prepared for just 1 more load of wood. I mean hauling all of this stuff has been a major pain in the butt. Even if the guy comes next Thursday (or whenever) and I work my ass off on the 2nd load of wood, there's a good possibility that it'll be the middle of October and I'll still be doing wood once the third finally gets here. That scares the hell out of me.

Three loads. Dear god.

I don't feel good about this. I know my body's going to be in hella good shape after it's all over but damn. I didn't sign up for this. It's hell. It really is hell and I don't want to do it. I don't even want to think about it.

I'm earning my keep this year, that's for sure.

k9
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Scared.

Taking a quick break from "real world" work to share the top search phrases that get people to this site from the past few days. Enjoy!


Search Keyphrases (Top 10)
Full list
118 different keyphrases Search Percent
morgan webb nude 68 21.7 %
morgan webb 16 5.1 %
morgan webb naked 12 3.8 %
sumi das 12 3.8 %
cat schwartz breasts 11 3.5 %
morgan webb boobs 10 3.2 %
jessica corbin 9 2.8 %
cat schwartz 9 2.8 %
laura swisher nude 8 2.5 %
cat techtv 6 1.9 %
Other phrases 151 48.3 %

BTW, I do have copies of the Cat Schwartz nude thing. I've never asked for them and you can stop sending them to me. Thanks. :)

For those who don't have them, I'm not posting them nor am I looking for more. If you want them they've been posted in various newsgroups, web sites, etc. etc. Sneeze and you'll find copies.

I really think more people have seen Cat's boobs than Madonna's at this point.

That scares me even more.

k9
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One More Day ...

I meant to go to bed early last night. I said my goodnights, closed down AIM, brused my teeth, went to the bathroom, got in bed and, knowing I had to get up extra early to do wood at 7 AM I ... turned on the xbox and played not one but two games of Monopoly.

Hi, my names is James and I'm a Monopoly Party addict.

Whenever it's raining and the new dish goes out, I go into my bedroom and use the work computer to connect to the internet. Since I don't own it I figure, sure, I should use THIS one during the lightning storms and it won't matter. Right next to that little computer desk, of course, is the TV and the Xbox. So I sit there playing Monopoly until the lightning passes.

Last night I played one game and shaved 4 minutes off my winning time. Yes, I bankrupted everyone within 15 minutes. The following game, I screwed up. I let one of the computer players get the very first two squares. I didn't really have a chance to do anything about it since I was heavily in debt from buying off a square of every color on the rest of the board. I decide to tough it out instead of vainly hitting reset or quit (not that'd I'd EVER do that). One round later, and hitting free parking, hitting go to jail, then hitting free parking AGAIN, I was out of debt and on my road to recovery.

Since the computer guy had his little 2 squares filled with houses and a hotel his bank account was quickly filling up past $10,000. I knew I couldn't bankrupt him easily, so I took out the other two guys first then turned my attention towards him. Sure he had his two squares, but when the bloodbath was over, I had $29,000 and all the squares. $11,000 more than my record.

Yes, I'm addicted. I'm filling my blog with monopoly stories.

I've vowed not to play today. Yes, I admit that I need help and I'm seeking it.

Help me.

k9
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Fighting the Damp

It must have rained over an inch last night. I'm getting my clothes on to go out and do wood in the swamp that is our backyard. If the tires of my cart sink into the muck or I see an alligator, I'll come back in.

My hair is something out of a anime movie this morning. it's standing straight up in back and it's straight down in front. It's so messy that Stef would probably take one look at it and fall in love with it ... then seek out Mr. Right and make him get that haircut. Typical women.

I think it's an unnatural force. My hair doesn't start the day in the same shape or form as the day before. In fact, even when I had a crew cut I would wake up and it'd be standing up in front or sticking out on the sides. I think the reason I chopped it all off in the first place was to avoid that scary moment when I stumbled into the bathroom and saw the freak in the mirror with the strange hair looking back at me. Then ... in my shock and horror ... realized that the mirror is actually a window to a parallel anime dimension and I have the hair to prove it.

Oh well, just looked outside and it's too wet to do anything it'll keep for another day.

k9
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Here Comes the Rain Again ...

It is so dark and stormy out that I am about to turn the lights on in this computer room out of fear of tripping over the cabinet set that I'm avoiding putting together that sits on my floor. The cabinet set LOOKED neat, but step one involves putting sixteen screws in and I really don't have the patience right now. So it sits, in pieces, on my floor waiting for me to figure out what to do with it ... or con my mom into putting it together.

I HATE PUTTING THINGS TOGETHER. I'm not handy. I break things. I have no desire to learn how to put things together either. I think my biggest nightmare is these 5 or 6 pages of instructions that lie on the floor (Iago the cat is currently sitting on them) taunting me. In fact, I fear them SO much that I went out and did wood yesterday for an extra half hour so there wouldn't be time for me to mess with them. Yah, it is kinda sad and pathetic that way.

So now it's another monsoon out there and this project is staring at me. God, I don't want to do this. I feel like going back to bed and playing Monopoly Party instead. Yes, I started playing again. This time with everyone on medium skill level. I'm working up to hard but I'm being even more ruthless. I've been playing the version where everyone gets two properties dealt to them before the game starts and can't buy anything until they go around the board once. In one game two of the computer players were dealt properties in the same block as me. So before we could even properly buy properties (or even roll the dice), I had bought both properties, had a complete set, and used all my money to put houses and a hotel on them. By the time I could actually buy properties, someone had landed on one of mine and I had hit free parking, so I was back to starting money and had a good nestegg for destroying them in record time.

I tell you that game is addictive. I'm still marveling over the time I taught Evil James my style. I wouldn't play with him, I only coached, I knew better. I'm such a bastard at that game he'd hit me if we played. So I coached his evil. He did well, I took great pride in the fact that he bankrupted two players and came THIS close to bankrupting a third in the same roll. I've never seen that happen before and yes, I feel like a total geek describing the beauty in the ruthelessness of the moment, but dammit the game is SO obnoxious that there's a great joy in smiting the other players.

It's a power thing.

Caught the end of Fresh Gear last night. They're SO going to give Jessica Corbin the job. That's the state of the network. They're going to give a complete idiot, who has admitted as much on the air, who knows NOTHING about technology a job hosting their "cool technology" show because a) she's got a nice rack (when they're in a bra mind you; the few times she's been without on TSS were NOT a good thing), b) she's fairly pretty (though she's not THAT attractive), and c) she managed to read the cue cards this week without the flashing neon "I'm an idiot" sign reflecting in her vapid little eyes last night for the 30 seconds I caught.

Doom. Doom. Doom.

k9
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Quick Update

Happy sweet 16 to Rachel Ricer.