Half Awake

I'm sitting here not quite awake.

I had to work at the store Thanksgiving, costing me a higher rate of pay for a scheduled shift on my online job. I wasn't happy. I was even less happy that I ended up working a hell of a lot of overtime for the online job after the "real" job and ended up with 3 hours of sleep, followed by 8 hours of work early this morning, then followed by 3 hours of sleep.

I went to "real" work from 1-9:30 and now I'm getting ready to work 11pm-8:30am. I sleep sometime, somewhere, I think anyway. I'm not happy.

Online work started giving me these all-nighters on Friday a couple of weeks back. I changed my schedule, but lol, with them, you have to put your changes in 2 weeks in advance and hope for the best.

Oh, my "real" job evaluated me today. I'm "good" in everything except availability and greeting customers. For a $6.50 an hour job, and for someone working 80 hours a week lately, that's pretty freaking good I think. Screw them. As soon as something better comes along I'll be happier.

I still have no life. I met a beautiful girl the other day. Likes video games and treos. She sold me one, in fact. Trouble is, married with kids. Oh, lol, if only, if only I had time to have a life and all that crap.

I'm getting my stack of movies ready for tonight. I think I want to watch the star wars series, but I'm not entirely sure. Dr. Who wasn't new tonight and I kind of miss it already. I have a ton of editing I should be doing right now, but lol, as usual, I'm wasting what time I have. Does it worry me that I've stopped caring? Probably. But that's the way life goes.

k9

So Anyway...

[Randomly as pages load ...]

It's 4-something AM. I'm waiting for pages to load in another window. I've had 3 hours of sleep (almost exactly) and I'm working for another 4 and a half hours until I can go back to sleep so I can go to work at the store then come home and work until 2am.

At least I'm getting sleep today. Next Friday: don't ask. In the joys of scheduling, it looks like I'm working over 24 hours without a break.

I love life.

I was only able to get up on time tonight because I essentially poisoned myself with garlic veggies for dinner. I know garlic is hard on my stomach and I wake up at like 3am with stomach cramps. So I made the veggies for dinner just so I'd have cramps and wake up on time. It worked, I got a little rest, and I slept a little before the pain hit. Now I'm downing a prilosec and hoping the cramps stop.

In my half hour break coming up (god knows when), I am going to disable the DVD burner on this machine and put in the old 3rd hard drive. I can't have everything in because I've blown two power supplies so far with this system and I really can't afford a 3rd time right now.

It's sad that the only shows I really look forward to these days are 'the Office' and 'Dr. Who.' Even sadder that Dr. Who is almost done for the season.

I was digging 'Studio 60' for a while, but then they lost the edge they had in the first episode and now the flaws are more obvious as the show's ratings plummet. I'm half expecting a kid sidekick or gimmicks to make people watch. Though the problem really is that the three people they have as the "stars" of the show-within-the-show aren't believable as their characters. The actors aren't strong enough to carry the roles and the material is stuff that flat out isn't funny so they can't feature it that much.

Right now they're in the middle of a frantic two parter with special guest star John Goodman. Well, from what I saw of part one, it could have been wrapped up with a feel good moment at the end of the first hour and that would be that. There was no point in drawing the story out except they needed a mcguffin for half the cast to be gone to put the "romance" storyline characters together. Even though they have no chemistry. Even though no one cares. Even though a "Sam & Diane" ('Cheers' people!) moment would kill the series. Oh well.

And on that note...

k9

Oh hello

I'm in hour 73 of a 75 hour F-TH work week. I'm getting 5 hours of overtime at a higher pay rate (I think anyway) so that's good, the trouble is that I'm incredibly tired and even though I'm off at 11pm, I have to be back online to work at 3am and work until 9am.

Slow.

Tired.

I've been stuck in the same message boards since 9am this morning. Just repeated stuff. I thought I was going insane for a while but no, these are different people posting the same thing over and over. No one could spend 12 hours online posting pointless things, right?

Right?

Dammit. ANSWER ME.

So last week my dad blew up his computer. I had to return the computer my parents were letting me borrow and move my media center computer to my computer room to be my main computer. I've had no TV in my bedroom for a week now and frankly, I'm going kinda nutso so I just took an old TV and DVD player and I'll set them up before bed.

I feel like I'm taking a step backwards in time, which I kind of am, since I bought that TV during the Clinton impeachment and the DVD player during the election recount of 2000. So god knows if modern dvds will work with the damn things. LOL I'm so screwed up that it's not funny.

OH, on top of everything, I sort of dropped my pda. You know, the one that I just had fixed. This time Palm won't repair it because the screen has been destroyed. I want another palm and I want a new phone as well but Palm, in it's greatness hasn't released the darn Treo 680 so I'm waiting impatiently and not knowing when the hell I'm working any more.

I need a PDA. Badly. I can't keep track of my life otherwise.

I also need someone. I'm just dying lately. Life is get up, go to work for one job, go to work for the other job, and no fun. It's a decision I made and a decision that I'm sticking to, but DAMN, this hurts. It's just the aloneness and I can't even escape into online friends because I'm never around or they're never around when I need someone.

One of my jobs has me searching web pages on a myspaceish community. I see hundreds of people daily but I can't reach out to anyone because frankly, those people scare me, besides the fact that I don't have any time. I work, I sleep, repeat until the end of time.

Oh well, an hour and a half to go.

k9