The Ring Report TV Update 6/26/94 Vol. 1, No. 69
(WCW = old WWF, WWF = new WWF, ECW = rules, Tammy = ::sigh::)
STRANGE THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT
“FLAIR vs. THAT HH GUY, AGAIN for the FIRST TIME!”
— the WCW’S “party line” on the Bash at the Beach match between the two superstars . . .
WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 4/4/94 by BRYAN FISHER
WHAT YOU MISSED: This week in the booth RANDY POFFO and GORILLA MONSOON substituting for Vinnie Jr. (who is allegedly out with neck surgery) . . . We were forced to watch “Highlights” from the WORST Pay-Per-View event in history. The 1994 WWF King Of The Ring . . . World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion, the stratospheric DIESEL with his acquaintance SHAWN MICHAELS obliterated some pitiful prelim . . . A Post-King Of The Ring Report with TOAD PETTINGZOO . . . The weightless 1-2-3 KID verses The Impoverished NIKOLAI VOLKOFF with his proprietor the very affluent “Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE: Through-out the contest Volkoff hurled the Skinny Kid like he was a paper weight. During the match Volkoff was very belligerent, and he even posed for the audience, but I am apologetic to report that the Twiggy Kid managed to pin Volkoff. Ted DiBiase was very distraught about Volkoff losing the match, and instructed the poverty-stricken Russian to attack the beleaguering Kid after the match. After Volkoff began his attack on the Kid, VIRGIL came to ringside to make the save. As soon as Virgil began to aggress toward The Million Dollar Man, Volkoff jumped him from behind. Volkoff was in the process of putting away both the Kid and Virgil when that LEX LOSER guy came and made the save . . . 2 Time World Wrestling Federation Champion the overblown YOKOZUNA, with his manager “the diabolic” MISTER FUJI and American Spokesperson JAMES E. CORNETTE thoroughly prostrated some Ham&Egger. On the way back to the dressing room area Yokozuna confronted TYPHOON, who was on his way to the ring for a match. Yokozuna taunted Typhoon by not letting him around him. Then a wrathful Typhoon dropped Yokozuna with a powerful right hand to the jaw of the Obese superstar. Typhoon then made his way to the ring to face a prelim that he soon destroyed . . . King’s Court with DUKE “THE DUMPSTER” DROESE: JERRY LAWLER would not let the Garbage Man enter the ring due to his powerful odor. Lawler continued to make fun of the garbage man. After the Dumpster could take no more garbage from Lawler, Duke started to leave the ringside area. Lawler cautioned Duke if he left the King’s Court that he would have to pay the consequences. The Dumpster continued his way to the dressing room area, only to be attacked by the disingenuous Jerry Lawler. Lawler destroyed The Dumpster his own Garbage can and various blows by Jerry Lawler . . . THE HEAVENLY BODIES with manager James E. Cornette out-skilled JIM POWERS and another prelim. Powers with a strong showing throughout the contest . . . Monsoon then told us that he and JACK TUNNEY were sorry about the actions of Jerry “The King” Lawler . . . Ted DiBiase talked about a potential commodity in Lex Loser, ER, I mean Luger . . . NEXT WEEK: BAM BAM BUFFALO vs. overblown MABEL . . .
SMOKY MOUNTAIN WRESTLING 6/22/94 by DENNIS MILLER
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE THRILL SEEKERS beat a couple of prelims, with WELL DUNN doing color commentary; Following the match, the Thrill Seekers challenged Well Dunn to a penalty box match . . . Highlights from last week featuring BAMBI jumping out of a box and attacking TAMMY FYTCH . . . Highlights of JAKE ROBERTS injuring THE DIRTY WHITE GIRL . . . An interview with THE DIRTY WHITE BOY . . . An interview with Jake Roberts . . . Jake Roberts beat JAMES ATKINS . . . There are now two KENDO THE SAMURAIS as an angle developed featuring a heal Kendo who teams with Jake Roberts and a babyface Kendo who teams with The Dirty White Boy . . . Another interview with the Dirty White Boy . . . An interview with THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY . . . A history of wrestling in Knoxville featuring RON GARVIN and THE MONGOLIAN STOMPER . . . An interview with TERRY FUNK, JIM CORNETTE and BRUISER BEDLAM . . . The Funk brothers will be wrestling the Armstrong brothers in July; This means that Terry Funk will wrestle in SMW, ECW and WCW this summer . . . TRACEY SMOTHERS beat the evil Kendo the Samurai with help from the other Kendo the Samurai . . .
WCW CLASH OF CHAMPIONS 6/24/94
WHAT YOU MISSED: Things started with CACTUS JACK & KEVIN SULLIVAN defending the WCW WORLD TAG TITLES to THE NASTY BOYS. While the match didn’t get as wild as their recent PPV appearances, it was still better than *ANY* match at the WWF’S last PPV! Nasties lost when JACK used a DDT to set up BRIAN KNOBS for the pin . . . an interview with STING . . . a look at THE GUARDIAN ANGEL getting special training with the Guardian Angles then the Angel used a side slam to defeat TEX SLAZENGER . . . footage of THAT HH GUY arriving in a limo . . . “LORD” STEVEN REGAL came out dressed as a British Redcoat before his match with LARRY ZYBSZKO. The WCW’S line on this one is that it’s the outfit of his uncle Rupert — that’s RUPERT *not* RUPAUL. In any case his Lordship walked out of the arena with Zybszko’s WORLD TV TITLE after using the ropes for leverage in getting the pinfall . . . an interview with DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON appeared instead of the once-billed match between Rhodes & ANDERSON and TERRY FUNK & BUNKHOUSE BUCK . . . In a controversial decision, JOHNNY B. BADD apparently defeated STEVE AUSTIN for the WCW U.S. TITLE. In the closing moments of this match Austin used a pair of brass knuckles to set up his pin of Badd but a second ref. ran into the ring and apparently ordered the match to continue instead of DQ’ing Austin. A stunned Austin looked around helplessly as Badd then rolled him up for the pin (NOTE: the WCW now claims the original ref. DQ’d Austin and no title change took place) . . . That HH Guy was introduced to the his adoring public followed by a quick promo of HH and SHAQUILLE O’NEAL . . . In the main event, RIC FLAIR defeated STING by pinfall to unify the WCW WORLD and WCW WORLD INTERNATIONAL titles with some help from SHERRI MARTEL. After the match Martel & Flair savaged Sting only to be driven off by the rampaging HH Guy and things ended with HH Guy pledging to defeat Ric Flair once and for all . . .
WCW PRO WRESTLING 6/25/94 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: Highlights from the CLASH including footage of the unification match between RIC FLAIR & STING . . . GORDON SOLIE announced that even though JOHNNY B. BADD left his US Title match against STEVE AUSTIN with the US Belt, he is not the champion since AUSTIN was DQ’d . . . THE GUARDIAN ANGEL over TEX SLAZENGER . . . Matches scheduled for the BASH AT THE BEACH PPV include: US Title: STEVE AUSTIN vs. RICK STEAMBOAT, Tag Title: CACTUS & SULLIVAN vs. “PRETTY WONDERFUL,” plus DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON vs. BUNKHOUSE BUCK & TERRY FUNK . . . HARLEM HEAT defeated BRIAN ARMSTRONG & TERRY TAYLOR . . . DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON beat THE GAMBLER & VICTOR KREUGER . . . Chris Cruise interviewed RHODES & AA . . . LARRY ZYBSZKO vs. “LORD” STEVEN REGAL ended in a DQ when ZYBSZKO dragged SIR WILLIAM into the RING, took his umbrella & used it on Regal & the Royal midget . . . Things ended with words from JIMMY HART & THAT ” ” GUY who’s wrestling ability consists of about 3 moves (Hint-it’s not Giant Gonzlas, he can do 4 moves) . . .
WWF MANIA 6/25/94
WHAT YOU MISSED: TODD PETTINGHISMONKEY was dressed this week by the Ugandan Soccer team . . . things started off with a discussion of the JIM NIEDHART situation at the King of the Ring . . . SPARKY PLUG took on LOU MARCONI and I switched on PBS and “THE COMPUTER CHRONICLES” . . . a replay of THE KING’S COURT attack by Jerry Lawler on Duke Droese, and Todd now claims the WWF is trying to BAN the King’s Court . . . switched back to the Computer Chronicles, they were now speaking of the EVIL world of MACS, quickly flipped back to Mania (even I can’t take MACS) . . . IRS easily defeated BILLY COLBY . . . Todd now claims that he’s LEADING the “NEW GENERATION” of WWF superstars . . . a look at Mania CO-host contest winner JASON TARUSKIN on the toilet . . . a replay of THE 123 KID defeating NIKOLAI VOLKOFF on RAW . . . BRET HART talked about the 123 KID and I missed something about a big match for the KID on July 11 . . . JEFF JARRETT defeated THE ITALIAN STALLION . . . and a replay of the YOKOZUNA prelim match from RAW and his brawl with TYPHOON on the way out of the ring . . .
WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 6/25/94 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE GUARDIAN ANGEL defeated BUTCH LONG . . . Gene interviewed THE ANGEL who wants VADER at BATB . . . PRETTY WONDERFUL beat CHRIS HOUSTON & TODD MORTON . . . Official contract Signing for RIC FLAIR vs. HH GUY at BATB – Began as Gene intro’ed the participants including TED TURNER who looked as if he had nothing better to do. THAT HH GUY signed but FLAIR would not at first as he argued with HH about who’s the greatest of all time. HH said they could get it on right now & use Mr. Turner as the ref. At this point NICK BOCKWINKLE looked as if he was going to burst out in laughter. Mr. Turner said, “Let’s wait until July 17th” & that about ended it . . . Highlights of RIC FLAIR vs. STING from the CLASH, I noticed they added fake crowd cheers when HH came out to help STING . . . A BATB Control Center featuring SHAQUILLE O’NEAL in a HH shirt which he tore off. Gene mentioned that HH was being trained by one of sport’s great legends, Heenan suggested it was probably Richard Simmons . . . RICK STEAMBOAT over a prelim . . . DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON beat HARLEM HEAT when ANDERSON DDT’d KOLE . . .
WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING 6/25/94 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: Gorilla Monsoon subbed in for Vince McMahon who is recovering from surgery . . . TYPHOON stumbled over PIERRE . . . A post KOTR REPORT . . . WELL DONE w/manager HARVEY WIPPLEMAN beat JOHN PAUL & THE ITALIAN STALLION . . . SPARKY PLUG defeated GEORGE SOUTH . . . THE UNDERTAKER managed by TED DIBIASE defeated PJ WALKER (NOTE: This was a terribly slow match in which you easily tell the difference between Lee & Callaway, not so much because of his physical appearance but because of his moves & style) . . . THE 123 KID over a prelim . . . A promo for the new WWF Bloopers, Bleeps & Bodyslams video . . . Another NEW WWF GENERATION segment . . . CHRIS EVERETT fell to KWANG . . . some more KOTR footage . . . LEX LUGER edged BARRY HORROWITZ . . . NEXT WEEK: JIM “THE ANVIL” NIEDHART, PAUL BEARER in The Heartbreak Hotel & IRS vs. DOINK . . .
IWCCW 6/25/94 By “Sliver” Jeff Brown
WHAT YOU MISSED: TOMMY DREAMER told us how to have him come to our hometown through IWCCW fund-raisers and said there would be a packed house . . . hmmmm . . . BO RAGIN defeated ALLEN KINSEY . . . Promo for the PWI 900# Hotline . . . NEIL SUPERIOR came out superior over MR. X who is even smaller than I am 🙂 . . . RAY ODESSEY told us how to become a pro wrestler . . . MONGO VILES nailed “OUTLAW” MAX KRIMSON . . . KOKO B. WARE told us how to make money through IWCCW fund-raisers much like Tommy did in the beginning . . . THE GERMAN TROOPERS w/FRANK B. CRUEL and “THE WALL” (also known in the WWF as MABEL), destroyed and I mean destroyed BRIAN and BRET HOLIDAY . . . Another promo for the 900# Hotline . . . It ended as “MANIAC” JIMMY DEO and LA GORE walked all over JIMMY B. GOOD and “MR. PENNSYLVANIA” JEFF BERKELEY . . . Next Week: GIANT GONZLAS although under some other name which I didn’t catch, DR. JOHNNY WILDSIDE, and another Curly’s Classic Corner. The IWCCW is very exciting, almost as exciting as WWF in Hershey, PA and King Of The Ring . . . notice I said ALMOST . . .!
WWF 6/25 FROM THE MONTREAL FORUM by Ryan Kerzner
WHAT YOU MISSED: The entire evening, RAY ROUGEAU was running around the crowd getting flag holders, guest managers, etc. . . . 1-2-3 KID beat KWANG by pinfall. This match consisted of
a lot of kicks and wear-down moves . . . THE BUSHWHACKERS beat THE EXECUTIONERS by pinfall after using the battering ram. The point of this match was to really get the fans into it, like only the Bushwhackers can . . . In the next match, LEX LUGER beat CRUSH by knocking him out with his forearm while the ref. was out cold. After hitting him, the ref. woke up and counted to pin. During the match, I was quite surprised to hear the Montreal fans chanting USA, USA. It was also interesting to hear about 1/4 of the fans *BOOING* Luger. I’ve heard that this happens all over (!!!) . . . Then came the intermission. I, like usual, hung around outside the dressing room door to see some wrestlers. All I saw was the 1-2-3 Kid asking one of the guards,” Can you get something to eat?” . . . After the intermission came the women’s title match as ALUNDRA BLAYZE pinned LUNA VACHON. I was actually very surprised to hear the fans yelling “USA” this time because Luna is part of the famous Vachon family in Montreal. I initially expected everybody to cheer for her. I guess I was wrong. By the way, I think I saw her father, PAUL VACHON there . . . Then came the most awaited match of the night for the WWF Tag Team Titles. The match started off with THE HEAD SHRINKERS coming to the ring and they were booed like crazy. They had no managers in their corner. Then the home town favorites, The Qubecers, came in to the song “We Are The Champions”. In Quebec this weekend is a national holiday. There were a lot of Quebec flags waving and a lot of cheers. Everybody was there to see their favorite tag team, The Quebecers. The match itself was quite good. There was plenty of action and we were indeed entertained. JOHNNY POLO was there too. Here is the incredible part — Near the end of the match, Jacques was about to pin one of the Head Shrinkers, when suddenly, Pierre came in and said, “Hey Jacques, let’s give them our finishing move!” Jacques was not to happy. After all, he was about to win the titles. All of a sudden, the other Head Shrinker attacked Jacques, and a few seconds later, it was all over: Jacques was pinned. Both Quebecers were not pleased. Polo started to question Pierre, but got nowhere with him. So, he went over to Jacques and started shoving him. Jacques retaliated immediately and started fighting with Polo. Then Pierre jumped in and both he and Polo were beating Jacques up. They really gave him a good beating. The fans were going crazy! We couldn’t believe our eyes. The 1-2-3 Kid and one of the executioners tried to stop the fighting but they were no help. All the officials came in, but they were no help. Even PAT PATTERSON got a good punch in the head. The fans then started yelling for Ray Rougeau. He finally came to his brother’s aid and got rid of Pierre and Polo and got several punches in too. The fans hate Pierre now. At the end, Jacques was carried out on a stretcher. We were then all left in awe . . . Next came DOUBLE J, who beat DOINK by pinning him while holding the ropes. At the beginning of the match, Jeff Jarrett was insulting Canadian’s goalie PATRICK ROY, Expos’ outfielder LARRY WALKER, and then Ray Rougeau, who later came on the microphone asking Jarrett to sing. Jarrett obviously declined. During the match, DINK was hurt and carried away, but later came back to be with Doink . . . During the second intermission, I got the chance to see Luna without her face make-up. Boy is she ever ugly (!!!) . . . After that intermission, YOKOZUNA beat TYPHOON with Mr. Fuji’s help. This match was terrible as both men wasted so much time standing around doing nothing . . . Then came the main event as BRET HART beat OWEN HART by pinfall (he might have been pulling Owen’s tights to win, however I couldn’t see because his back was facing me). This match featured a lot of good mat wrestling, but this didn’t excite the fans that much . . . All in all, the night was fun and WWF put on a decent show . . .
WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 6/25/94 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE GUARDIAN ANGEL defeated BUTCH LONG . . . Gene interviewed THE ANGEL who wants VADER at BATB . . . PRETTY WONDERFUL beat CHRIS HOUSTON & TODD MORTON . . . Official Contract Signing for RIC FLAIR vs. HH GUY at BATB – Began as Gene intro’ed the participants including TED TURNER who looked as if he had nothing better to do. THAT HH GUY signed but FLAIR would not at first as he argued with HH about who’s the greatest of all time. HH said they could get it on right now & use Mr. Turner as the ref. At this point NICK BOCKWINKLE looked as if he was going to burst out in laughter. Mr. Turner said, “Let’s wait until July 17th” & that about ended it . . . Highlights of RIC FLAIR vs. STING from the CLASH, I noticed they added fake crowd cheers when HH came out to help STING . . . A BATB Control Center featuring SHAQUILLE O’NEAL in a HH shirt which he tore off. Gene mentioned that HH was being trained by one of sport’s great legends, Heenan suggested it was probably Richard Simmons . . . RICK STEAMBOAT over a prelim . . . DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON beat HARLEM HEAT when ANDERSON DDT’d KOLE . . .
USWA WRESTLING by CRUNGE 6/26/94
WHAT YOU MISSED: DANGEROUS DOUG GILBERT ranted and raved about BRIAN CHRISTOPHER hurting all of Doug’s friends, and challenged Christopher to a match . . . Christopher came out, and was beating on Doug, when TOMMY RICH attacked Christopher and Rich, Doug, and the DREAM MACHINE beat on Christopher for a while, including DDT’s and pile-drivers on a table . . . REGGIE B. FINE and the HEARTBREAKER lost to the newly-reunited PG-13, who are the new USWA Tag Team champs . . . the ELIMINATORS and BERT PRENTICE jumped PG-13 after the match . . . the COLORADO KID came out to fight TONY FALK, but Bert offered the Kid a $1200 watch as a signing bonus; the Kid took the watch, but would not sign, so Bert interfered and Falk won . . . Doug Gilbert came out and was blindsided by Brian Christopher (and LANCE RUSSELL took a good bump on the attack) but it wound up with Christopher taking chair shots, etc. from Rich and Dream Machine . . . TONY WILLIAMS and TRACY MOONEY lost to TOMMY RICH and DOUG GILBERT . . . BERT PRENTICE came out with the SPELLBINDER and made fun of JEFF GAYLORD . . . GAYLORD and SPIKE HUBER lost to Bert’s ELIMINATORS when the SPELLBINDER hit Gaylord with a cane . . . a Brian Christopher video . . . the show ended with Lance and Brian Christopher talking about revenge . . .
WWF ALL AMERICAN WRESTLING 6/26/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: Still photos for OWEN HART’S coronation as “THE KING OF HARTS” at the King of the Ring . . . a replay of TED DIBIASE’S UNDERTAKER in action from WWF SUPERSTARS . . . DOINK over a prelim . . . KWANG had a tough time with JIM POWERS . . . another BOTTOM LINE; this one featured a JERRY LAWLER look alike cleaning toilets . . . DIESEL over a prelim . . . a replay of TYPHOON vs. PIERRE from WWF SUPERSTARS . . . and things ended with WELL DONE in action . . .
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY: June 27, 1993
To every one’s surprise this week the 1-2-3 KID actually survived his rematch with RAZOR RAMON. How’d he do it? Well, I’ll say it’s exactly how I’d do it: HE TOOK THE MONEY AND RAN. He had a car standing buy after he ran out of the ring and left a very confused Razor Ramon on the streets of New York.
RIC FLAIR and BARRY WINDHAM highlighted this week’s WCW WORLD WIDE WRESTLING with two brawls outside of the ring. What were they fighting over? Believe it or not, Windham was upset with Flair because Flair STOLE HIS DRESSING ROOM! Oh, people fight over the strangest things these days!
OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: RIC FLAIR vs. BARRY WINDHAM for the NWA WORLD TITLE was announced as the main event for BEACH BLAST ’93 . . . BAM BAM BIGELOW proclaimed his love for LUNA VACHON . . . THE STEINER BROTHERS actually held on to the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES for the entire week . . . and BASTION BOOGER upset VIRGIL in a rematch of their “classic” match from the week before . . .
NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
Experimenting with our format again after coming across some older issues of the Ring Report. This week we’ve added IWCCW results by JEFF BROWN to our weekly wrestling coverage and if response is good “THIS WEEK IN HISTORY” will also be added to our line-up of regular features.
I’m getting scared to watch WCW recently with all the coverage of that HH GUY. Is it me or was it BETTER with him just polluting the airwaves on “THUNDER IN PARADISE?” Now that he’s on WCW each week I’m tempted to stop watching WCW all together. Somebody, please take pity on me and send me SMW every week! <g>
In more news, the MAD DOG actually had a job interview this week. If things go well he might be teaching computer software every day instead of spending all his time watching wrestling and making TAMMY FYTCH sound files. Cross your fingers, your toes, etc., and . . .
HAVE A GREAT WEEK,
MADDOGJMF & Company!