The Ring Report TV Update 4/30/95 Vol. 1, No. 114
(“OH MARTY, ERR, STEVIE — YOU’RE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DREAMY!”)
MEWF at BINGO BILL’S by DARK CHEETAH 4/23/95
There are still a few glitches in the system, but once again The Dark Cheetah — this time accompanied by the ever-trustworthy Robster Hoffmann– made it to the monthly MEWF show at Bingo Bill’s, in the mighty metropolis of Essex, Md. And the converted supermarket looks no more exotic in the pollen and daylight than it did in the sleet and dark last time.
But it was a fun evening of live wrestling, and an improvement in several ways over the last one, even if we did miss “a bit” of the beginning. [I swear I’ll make the third one by bell time if I have to start at 3 PM the previous afternoon to do it.]
1) Chad Austin, the Indies’ favorite whipping boy and *my* front- running candidate for the Wal-Mart Sabu Award of the Year, gets to win a match for once against Joe Thunder. Again, I give Chad a lot of credit for being willing to try wild aerial moves whether they come off or not.
2) That sneaky Cat Burglar kept his mask on this time and beat the Banzai Warrior. (Do I just like the Cat Burglar because of the Cat in his name?) Mark Schrader interfered after the match, which led up to the . . .
3) 10 man Battle Royal. I’m no good at these battle royal things, I prefer to concentrate on a few men at a time in the ring, so I’ll just tell you Mark Schrader won this too, over JR Willett, American Ninja, Johnny Taylor, DP Ferguson, Watsumi, Bulldozer Benton, The Crow, Chad Austin and Banzai Warrior.
The nice thing about a Battle Royal, though, is that it gives quite a few wrestlers work in a short amount of time, entertains most of the audience except a Dark Cheetah, and tends to mean someone is getting a push in the promotion. You may have seen Schrader on your TV set in the last couple of months, doing a superhuman task by recently making some WCW superstars look like they’re actually wrestling, which has gotta be one of the tougher jobs of all time . . . struggling virtue is its own reward, I guess.
But the last I saw Schrader live, he was entangled — I won’t say how — with that lovely valet, the beauteous, comely, and ring-wisely clueless Isis. And where is she now, I hear you cry?
4) Alas, Isis has switched loyalties. We’ll see if that helps her career. [Also, she’s switched outfits, which so far hasn’t helped a bit. Please, someone call Sherri Martel and have her send half a dozen nasty mankiller costumes down — the sweet girlish look is not working.]
That vicious vixen Isis is now accompanying to the ring one Raven, formerly Johnny Polo, formerly Scotty Flamingo, formerly Scotty the Body — hey, if Butcher is the Man with No Name, Raven is the Man With Way Too Many Name. This latest gimmick, “Grunge Punk Wrestler”, just doesn’t seem right for the ever-bouncy one: once the entrance music plays, the energy saps rapidly. Okay, let’s face it, I’d rather see him be the next Cornette than the next Kurt Cobain (especially considering how Cobain ended up . . . ).
Raven beats the Ultimate Comet, clean, in an okay match. Isis stands on the apron and waves her arms a bit, which is also okay. Until she can interfere with authority, let her stand there and be as decorative as possible.
5) Ah, a tag match! Sweet and Sour vs. Models Inc. Rob Noxious and Luscious Johnny Graham defend their month-old MEWF tag titles against — it pains me to say these names, really it does– Michael Sweet and Johnny Handsome.
It did *not*, however, pain me to watch their wrestling. Not only did Models Inc. get the titles, they got our attention with some really good moves. Around the time of the Frankensteiner, Robster and I said in unison, “Hey, they’re good!”
Solid *** match. Hope to see these guys again, hopefully with last names next time. *grin*
5.5) “Cool’s Corner”, with local manager Joe Cool, resplendent in sharp hat and coat and carrying a cane that looks more like a snorkel tube, interviewing Lucifer along with his handler Stud Lee Osborne. Now, I’d never seen Cool before, and so far all I can say about him is I’ll attest he has all of Jerry Lawler’s fabulous ability to upstage, using no words, whoever he’s interviewing. Anyone who can yawn and distract half the audience from two guys threatening him is pretty darn good. Or is that . . . Cool? *smile*
6) Ref.’s Grudge Match. This had been set up at the last show which I missed, and featured temporary heel ref. Jeff Jones against permanent fan ref. Dave the Wave.
Earlier . . . Ref. Jeff, taking his heel role *very* seriously, had managed to waylay The Dark Cheetah on her way to the litterbox [WARNING: I was not wearing my normal yellow Cheetah shirt, but rather my red To The Extreme! T-shirt from the RSPW convention, and yet he still recognized me at once. So be careful wearing your con shirts, guys — or you may be mistaken for *me*!] and this maniac in a hockey jersey warns me to write a good report on the show this time . . . OR ELSE.
All in good fun, folks. *smile* I told him if it was a good show, I’d write a good report. I guess that was good enough; I made it back to my seat, much relieved. (And I’m keeping my promise, Jeff. *grin* It was a good show.)
The Ref. vs. Ref. match was done as well as it could be: some talk, some scrambling in the ring, some more talk, and a good firm handshake at the end. This is Baltimore, of course, so the Good Ref. won easily.
At intermission: Robster and I chatted with Jeff-I-Am the wild and woolly MEWF timekeeper. Jeff then introduced me to MEWF announcer Al Albert, who immediately put on his most stricken look and said, “It’s not me, it’s the sound system, I swear it!” (In my last report I complained bitterly about the unintelligibility of many of the wrestlers’ names.) Having heard Al speak in person, I now anxiously await either new microphones that will actually pick up his voice, or the death of the sound crew. (Al, if you need help with that second part . . . )
Also we met up briefly with fellow Internetter Tim Johnson, who was having a great show, and then Jeff anxiously made me promise not to kill Marc Coralluzzo if he took me over to meet him. [He didn’t make Robster promise, but loyally Robster considered himself bound by my promise as well. Thanks, big guy, I don’t want Jeff mad at me! Who else would give me those handy-dandy lists of wrestlers’ names so my reports make some sense?]
Marc was working behind one of the sales tables, so we just shook hands briefly and said hello. He looked as dazed and happy as any thirteen-year-old would, accompanying an adored father somewhere exciting and fun. (My dad would recognize that look. *grin*)
Got back to our seats in time for the second half.
7) UFC rules for this next bout. “This is not a wrestling match, this is a fighting contest!” Tommy Cairo strolls out first. Last time I saw Cairo, in that Raucous Northeastern Federation (the RNF to you) seemed like he had about 6 inches less gut; he’s nowhere near Dusty Rhodes yet, but Dick Murdock may have to start looking over his shoulder for second place in the “Most Inappropriate Overhang” contest . . .
The Coralluzzo contingent — father, son, and Phyllis Dee — is here in force because the Coralluzzos are accompanying their^H^H NWA champion on his merry way around the US. Well, this is my first chance to see current NWA champion and UFC stud Dan Severn. This is what the fuss is all about, folks! *shrug* Not bad looking, kind of Rick Rude done cowboy style — rugged and craggy. To steal a quote from Chrispy Palacios, “He looks like he fell out of a d@mn Soloflex ad.” (So sue me, I still prefer Benoit, Malenko, Snow and Waltman in that order. At least I admit my biases. *grin*)
Cairo takes some stiff shots, Severn does some good suplexes and wins by submission. It didn’t make me want to rush right out and order UFC, nor did it highly enthuse me about the state of the NWA, but I would like to see Severn against someone who could make him break more of a sweat.
8) The next match is announced for a forty minute time limit, which weird length made Robster and I look at each other and wonder a bit. Corporal Punishment comes out with handler Stud Lee Osborne and, in a nice touch, brings his own chairs to the ring. I like a thoughtful wrestler who comes prepared. *grin*
Robster nudges me. “Hey, there’s Morgus the Maniac out in the crowd.” Gee, he fit in so well, I never would have noticed without the sharp eyes of the Robster! That bushy Civil War era beard just blended right in with the rest of the audience . . . (Again, for those of you still masochistically watching WCW in the past couple of months, you may have seen a decidedly unmaniacal “Morgus Watson” propping up a couple of WCW’S so-called finest — same Morgus.)
Corp’s erstwhile opponent is Dr. Pain, a new entry from the MEWF wrestling school. Last time I saw Pain, his trunks were yellow and black warning sign pattern; this time, white and black warning sign pattern. So far as I’m concerned, the most painful thing about him is his outfit.
My notes about this match say only: “Corp missed elbow rollover Dr. Pain choke drop ice/plaster? goes flying Corp wins”. I’m writing this report five days later, but even when I wrote those notes I wasn’t totally sure what happened. I gave it *1/2, which I *was* sure about. The best part of this match was afterwards. Corp and Stud Lee start beating on Pain with chairs until Morgus starts heckling from the audience, challenges, and does a run-in (what a surprise!). Corp hits Morgus in the head with a chair, and Robster and I shake our heads and say, “Like THAT’S going to do anything.”
Then a guy with a broom gets in the ring to clean up the mess from whatever shattered international object Dr. Pain was knocked out with and– only at MEWF, folks– the super crowd chants “Sweeper! Sweeper!” Again, only at MEWF! *grin*
9) Vampire Warrior, who could be an undead Ultimate, comes in with the deliciously scummy Royce Prophet in tow. Oh, I love this guy, he was born to be a nasty wrestling manager. Back for another turn as MEWF face is *fuzzy mike noise* WWF Superstar Jim the Anvil Neidhart . . . but, I note, unlike last time he does NOT use the Hart Foundation music for his intro. this time. Does Vince have spies everywhere, or did the tape just break? Either way, Neidhart’s entrance during his music is *still* way too late, though. At live shows, esp. small ones, I really think faces need to come out right with the music and work the crowd as much as possible, both for the show’s sake and to get themselves over.
The highlight of this match was Royce interfering and trying to set up Neidhart for the clothesline. Jim ducked and Vampire Warrior got his own manager and did the stock stare in dismay — but they didn’t go for the cheap schoolboy rollup, which gained the match 1/2* right there. Neidhart won with a very nice belly to back suplex with bridge, for a **1/2 match.
10) The Goodfellas come out, ushered by Royce Prophet. My third time seeing the Goodfellas, and all I can say now is, “Where have you been hiding your gimmick, guys?” This time they gave it the full Godfather treatment: the outfits, the kissing babies, the swagger. Robster politely handed me a napkin to wipe up my drool.
Their esteemed opponents: Marvelous Inc., who are Ramblin Rich and Jimmy Jannetty, along with . . . Marvelous Mitzi?!
Whoa! Now THIS is a valet, folks! Whoa! I quickly handed Robster back the napkin and suggested he wait until after the show to try to date her. Mitzi is a handful and a half and wearing a sapphire blue taffeta gown that kept threatening to move, pop, or otherwise give way. (So, for that matter, was Robster. *grin*)
And I was happy because few women in wrestling would even try to imitate The Lovely Elizabeth, much less do such a good job. Yeah, I love Sherry’s nastiness, and I want to exchange claws with Woman, but I admire anyone who can carry off the good valet part without looking hopelessly weak doing so. Mitzi has it, folks. She can look worried and adoring with the best of ’em.
Very good *** match. Next to last spot of the night, I think both teams took the chance and pulled out their best moves for this one, but the comedy spot of the night was done by Dino Casanova. Twice he casually played to the crowd while slamming the opponent’s arm over his shoulder without looking behind him during a cheating double team. The third time, he should have looked, because it was his own partner’s arm he was slamming . . . his horrified double take was done with perfect timing and I was howling. Robster nearly had to do CPR on me. *grin*
The Goodfellas won with a powerbomb, and then we witnessed the breakup of Marvelous Inc. Mitzi rushed in, more worried about the down wrestler, Ramblin Rich, than the standing wrestler, Jimmy Jannetty, felt perhaps was warranted by the situation. (Can you say, Megapowers? I knew you could . . . ) Jannetty powerbombs Mitzi and, in the unintentional comedy spot of the night, the faces rally round to gallantly carry her out of the ring . . . WITHOUT A BACK/NECKBOARD. One guy supporting her head in his hands? just doesn’t cut it, guys. Worse, they kept showing her face on the video screens as they carried her out, and she really needs to remember not to smile when she’s supposed to me either unconscious or in extreme agonizing pain. Still, a picky detail. *** for the match, and Robster and me both agree we want Mitzi back ASAP. *grin*
11) I’ll make this one shorter, though no more sweet, than the match itself. Bastion Booger, bigger than ever (I didn’t believe it either, but it’s true) was scheduled to wrestle Baltimore demigod Axl Rotten. Axl came out and told the audience that the doctor had advised him not to wrestle– bad back. (If the doctor had seen his opponent, he’d have advised Axl not to show up for the sake of his stomach!)
Axl then says, “I have a little surprise for you all. No, a big surprise.” And he starts tiptoeing towards the back. As soon as he said that . . . oh no . . . there’s only three people in the world you can put into a ring with Bastion Booger after making that comment. One of them is 1/2 the WWF tag champs; one is now technically part of the “Two Faces of Fear” in WCW. That leaves . . .
Yep. Typhoon, who compared to Booger looks positively slim trim and solid. *sigh* Twelve minutes later, some bellies have bumped, good has triumphed, and my dinner is still somehow tucked inside my stomach. That’s all I’ll say about it.
(Oh, and the ring moved.)
But looking back, this was a better show than the previous MEWF card I saw; few real squash matches cluttering up the card, some up and coming good wrestlers– esp. in the tag teams a couple with real potential– a couple *fuzzy mike noise* WWF superstars to encourage a heavily WWF-raised crowd to remember to cheer, and all in all, very enjoyable.
No, it’s not that Raucous Northeastern Federation, but then quite frankly, I for one don’t want it to be. I enjoy it for what it’s trying to do– entertain, in its own way. Keep it up, fellas. The Robster and The Dark Cheetah will be back at MEWF as soon as we synchronize our chaotic schedules once again . . .
WCW Prime for 4/24/95 by David Taub
WHAT YOU MISSED: BIG DUST and ERIC JERKOVV are back as the announcers . . . the first 20 minutes are missed for your (and my), protection . . . MEAN GENE gives a Slamboree Control center . . . BRAD ARMSTRONG & TIM HORNER job for DICK SLATER & BUNKHOUSE BUCK . . . DAS WUNDERPUKE & JOHNNY B. BADD defeat ARN ANDERSON & STEVE AUSTIN . . . NEXT WEEK: Steve Austin vs. Tim Horner . . .!?@
WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 4/24/95 BRYAN FISHER
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE SMOKING GUNNS over BARRY HOROWITZ and THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER . . . BIG BURTHA flattened some poor lady . . . IYH report . . . DIESEL beat BAM BAM with the Jacknife. After the match TED DIBIASE fired Bam Bam, and TATANKA, IRS and SID attacked Bam Bam until Diesel made the save. From there Diesel and Bam Bam shook hands . . . MAN O WAR over a prelim . . .
NWA from Dallas 4/24/95 by Dennis Miller
WHAT YOU MISSED: In a match which took the whole hour, THE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL EXPRESS beat DICK MURDOCH and RANDY RHODES in a best two out of three falls match to win the NWA tagteam titles . . .
ECW 4/25/95 by Dennis Miller
WHAT YOU MISSED: Comments from WOMAN and highlights of the SHANE DOUGLAS/SANDMAN match opened the show . . . MIKEY WHIPWRECK beat STEVE RICHARDS in a good match . . . Following the match, the Pitbulls attacked Mikey and HACK MYERS, who was in Mikey’s corner. THE PUBLIC ENEMY made the save . . . A Public Enemy video was next . . . Comments from several ECW wrestlers on the Sandman being the new ECW champion . . . The first title defense for the Sandman will be against CACTUS JACK on May 5 in Fort Lauderdale, FL . . . Brief highlights of the TERRY FUNK/Cactus Jack war . . . Highlights of a TOMMY DREAMER/RAVEN match which Dreamer lost . . . An interview with Steve Richards . . . Raven beat Tommy Dreamer by disqualification . . . The show ended with Comments from Cactus Jack, the Sandman and a representative of SHANE DOUGLAS . . .
Circle City Wrestling, 4/27/95, Indianapolis, IN by CRUNGE
Ever since finding out that Sabu has been coming to Indianapolis to wrestle for Mike Samples’ Circle City Wrestling, I have been kicking myself for missing those matches.
I have always wanted to see Sabu live, and he has been right here where I work, and I did not know it. So, I hauled myself down there to see him. I didn’t. But, he is supposed to be back next week.
I had a hard time finding the place. It is in a bad neighborhood, and the sign is on the side of the building if you are coming from the south, and I was coming from the north. The building is a metal truck garage, and it is a sight to behold. The gravel parking lot was littered with boards and bricks.
I went in and paid my money, in the process meeting one of the few non-mutants in the building. I grabbed a flyer and sat down to read it while I waited. I was there 50 minutes early (I didn’t know when it started), but there were already about 30 people there. Mutants.
The flyer said that the Sheik is pissed that neither Judge Dredd nor Sabu have been able to get rid of Mike Samples. Dredd and Sabu are in Japan talking to Nishamura, who will be coming “in a couple of weeks.” Sabu will return next week, it says. I hope so.
As the show approached, the mutant level grew. Suffice to say I saw more butt-crack than at the International Appliance Repairman’s convention.
And Fat Broad, from the BC comic strip, was there, as well as all her relatives. You know the crowd is mutant when it is the women who start the chants of “Pussy” at the heels.
The building is very small. It holds maybe 100-125 people. There were about 55 for the show. The ring is small, and the metal railing is very close to the ring and the audience. More on that later. The lighting is ok, there is a concession stand and a table with T-shirts and photos. The bathroom is a port-a-pot INSIDE the building. Interesting is the word.
In the first, and best, match, JOHNNY VIPER lost to GARY JONES. Both are young, and green, but they worked their @sses off. They missed a few spots, but basically gave a very good, scientific match. Viper took some good bumps, the best of which saw him go through the ropes and bust his leg on the railing. This was a fun match to watch.
The second match saw the BARROOM BRAWLER, with JESSICA HEART, beat SHAWN HART. Brawler was truly hated, and he did a great job of playing to the crowd. He kept pretending to have a foreign object, and a woman at ringside pulled out a chain to explain it to the ref. Oh my. This match was ok, but a bit dull. What else can I say.
A 20 minute break. Like we needed it after 25 minutes of
FLASH FLANAGAN, the number 2 face, beat DUNCAN DISORDERLY. Duncan came out, and he is bald, but has enough hair on his back to make a nice rug. Someone shouted “Mr. Clean” and then chants of “Chia Pet” started. Flash is a Curt Hennig look-a-like, but not a wrestle-a-like. Flash is very popular, which is a shame, because Duncan impressed me. He worked hard, had decent moves, and insulted the crowd well. Flash missed spots and generally did not impress me. He is a that HH Guy type — all charisma, no talent. Well, he has a little, but not much.
Main event time. MIKE SAMPLES came out to wrestle BONECRUSHER LEWIS, with SPATS HANCOCK. Bonecrusher wrestled as Sgt. Victor for about 2 weeks in USWA, if you care. Anyway, this was a back and forth affair, and the first one to leave the ring. Samples and Lewis wound up in the concession stand, and Samples mashed half a pizza in Lewis’ face. An old lady in the crowd wailed on Lewis with a cane. He grabbed it, and d@mn near pulled her over the railing with it Throughout the match, the woman in front of me kept yelling, “C’mon, Mike, whip that n*’s @ss!” Ah, the class of the people there. Samples got the pin with a roll-up. Decent match. Then, it got good. Samples began beating up Spats, and here comes Lewis with a roll of barbed wire! (Called “bob wire” by many in the crowd.) Lewis pulled it against Samples’ head, cutting him open. Flash came out to help, and Samples pushed Lewis’ forehead into the roll, cutting him. Flash gave Spats a ton of Piledrivers, including onto a chair, while Samples gave Lewis a piledriver on a desk. Eventually, Lewis came back and gave both Samples and Flash some wicked DDT’s.
The show ended with Samples saying he and Flash would fight Lewis and Spats next week in a BARBED WIRE RING ROPE match. Cool. Samples also said, “I hate to say this. We have kids and men and women here. But the two of you: F^ck you!” He then chased them out, and apologized again.
Ok, next week, we are supposed to have Sabu, and a barbed (bob) wire match. I think I will go. E-mail me at email@example.com if interested.
As I was leaving, a kid of about 12 saw my RSPW Con shirt (I didn’t go to the con, but I got a shirt). The kid looked at it, and gave me a thumbs up. Perhaps there is hope for the fans there yet.
WCW PRO WRESTLING 4/29/95 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: BIG BUBBA squashed STEVE STORM . . . Gene Okerlund gave a Slamboree Update: BUTCHER vs. KEVIN SULLIVAN has been added and ANTONIO INOKI will be inducted into the WCW Hall of Fame . . . BRAD ARMSRTONG defeated DINO CASANOVA . . . An update on the US Title Tournament . . . THE BLUEBLOODS beat STAN LEE & BILL QUINN . . . A very stupid segment showing DALLAS PAGE on a shopping spree . . . STEVE HALL fell to “STUNNING” STEVE AUSTIN . . . ALEX WRIGHT defeated BUNKHOUSE BUCK in the main event . . .
WWF SUPERSTARS 4/29/95 by Joel Geraghty
WHAT YOU MISSED: Sadly, this is my last WWF Superstars report <sob> . . . New stuff taped last Tuesday in Des Moines, Iowa . . . VINCE MCMAHON & DOK HENDRIX started off with a recap of last Monday night’s events that involved DIESEL, BAM BAM BIGELOW, TED DIBIASE, TATANKA, IRS, & SID. Big Daddy Cool pinned the Beast after one awesome Jackknife, following the Native American’s interference. DIBIASE fired BAM BAM, then TATANKA & IRS double-teamed him until SID entered and powerbombed BIGELOW. DIESEL made the save and shook the Bammer’s hand . . . In his first TV match since returning to the WWF, SID, w/TED DIBIASE, brutalized the PORTUGUESE MAN-O-WAR ALDO MONTOYA with a vicious powerbomb . . . TOAD PETTENZOO was next with a WWF In Your House Report. Two new matches are a King of the Ring qualifying match between MABEL and ADAM BOMB, as well as a title match with OWEN HART & YOKOZUNA defending against THE SMOKING GUNNS . . . MR. BOB BACKLUND was still on Spring Break, vowing to do whatever it takes to get the youth of America back into the libraries . . . The well-oiled tag team of the BROOKLYN BRAWLER & BLACK PHANTOM were outmuscled by the ALLIED POWERS when the BRITISH BULLDOG pinned the PHANTOM after the running powerslam . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY said some more words . . . HAKUSHI, w/SHINJA, outmaneuvered KWANG with a move I call the Kamikaze Drop, the back-first drop off the top . . . A promo for next week’s YOKO/OWEN/HEAD SHRINKERS match . . . MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK played his guitar and knocked over huge speakers, rockin’ the house . . . JEAN PIERRE LAFITTE flattened GARY SCOTT with the Cannonball . . . TOAD was back with another IYH Report. This is the entire card: DIESEL vs. SID; GUNNS vs. OWEN/YOKO; BRET HART vs. HAKUSHI; RAZOR RAMON/1-2-3 KID vs. JEFF JARRETT/ROADIE; and BOMB vs. MABEL. This card looks to be quite impressive . . . JERRY LAWLER had the truth, which was that BRET was afraid of the King . . . “GIGOLO” JIMMY DEL RAY, w/JIM CORNETTE & “DR.” TOM PRITCHARD, was excellently executed by BRET “HITMAN” HART via submission with the Sharpshooter . . . Next Week: the WWF debut of HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY; the Superstars debut of BERTHA FAYE; the UNDERTAKER; OWEN/YOKO vs. HEAD SHRINKERS . . . This great show closed with DOK HENDRIX interviewing BRET, who said he would confront JERRY LAWLER this Monday night on Raw . . . I have enjoyed covering the greatest syndicated wrestling show in the world for the past few weeks, and I’m sorry to say that I’m leaving CompuServe. Thanks for reading, and keep up the good work, Maddog. So long, everyone!! : )
WWF MANIA 4/29/95 by BRYAN FISHER
WHAT YOU MISSED: JEFF JARRETT beat ALDO MONTOYA by submission
. . . Bob on spring break . . . And the MNR replay of the DIESEL/BAM
BAM BIGELOW match . . .
WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 4/30/95 by RYAN CUNNINGHAM
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE NASTY BOYS beat ROMEO VALENTINO & RICKY SANTANA . . . VADER destroyed AL PHILLIPS . . . Gene gave a Slamboree Control Center . . . Another look at THE GREAT MUTA . . . JOHNNY B. BADD over GEORGE SOUTH . . . BUTCHER beat MARK STARR . . . MENG defeated MARCUS BAGWELL to advance in the US Title Tourney . . . A look at the STING/BIG BUBBA feud . . . A pathetic segment with DALLAS PAGE and the DIAMOND DOLL on a shopping spree . . . DINO CASANOVA lost to FLYIN’ BRIAN . . . A pitiful DAVE SULLIVAN workout video . . . KEVIN SULLIVAN over “MR. EXCITEMENT” JOHN TAYLOR . . . ALEX WRIGHT pinned CHRIS NELSON . . . RIC FLAIR & ARN ANDERSON defeated TIM HORNER & BRAD ARMSTRONG, a Malay ensued after the match bringing SAVAGE & THAT HH GUY out make the save. THAT HH GUY could not phase VADER though, and all three heels worked on HH. Then the RENEGADE’S music came on and he burst through the doors clearing the ring. Yet another original angle by WCW . . . Things ended with words from RANDY SAVAGE and THAT HH GUY . . .
AWF 4/29/95 by Dennis Miller
WHAT YOU MISSED: For the second time this week, an entire hour was devoted to one match . . . In a match that was scheduled for twelve rounds, TITO SANTANA beat BOB ORTON JR. in nine to become the new AWF champion . . . This was a very good match . . .
USWA WRESTLING 4/30/95 by CRUNGE
WHAT YOU MISSED: TOMMY RICH came out and grunted briefly . . . PG-13 had taped comments about the GAMBLER and BRICKHOUSE BROWN . . . Rich and GORGEOUS GEORGE III came out, and Rich complained that he is done with PG-13, and wants to wrestle BILL DUNDEE, BRIAN CHRISTOPHER, and others . . . Rich / GGIII lost to PG-13 when Rich walked out in disgust and Wolfie D. pinned GGIII . . . Dundee/Christopher will face BRIAN LEE/DOUG GILBERT, and the winner gets a crack at the WWF Tag Titles . . . JIMMY HARRIS secured the area, then brought out BRIAN LEE, who crushed KORY WILLIAMS . . . MISS TEXAS came out, complained about BRUNO, and Bruno and KAREN came out and beat Miss Texas (the breast shot was edited out) . . . in a funny promo, MIKE SAMPLES and BONECRUSHER LEWIS are a heel tag team at some small USWA house shows (see the Circle City report for why this is funny) . . . ERIK WATTS and CHAD FORTUNE came out and played very subtle heels; they did not insult the crowd or Dave Brown; but after losing to SCOTT STUDD and KENNY KENDALL, they beat the crap out of them . . . Rich came out and said he could whip both Dundee and Christopher at the same time; Dundee came out and Rich and Dundee fought; Christopher came out and stood on the ring apron until DOUG GILBERT came out and threw powder in Christopher’s eyes; Rich and Gilbert double-teamed Dundee and injured his shoulder . . . DAVID HASKINS beat the YELLOWJACKET . . . Brain Christopher and Wolfie D. fought the Gambler and Brickhouse Brown until Rich and Gilbert came out, then JC Ice, then Dundee
CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING USA 4/30/95 by MIKE JOLLY
Championship Wrestling USA Television show report from the Marshall Center in Vancouver, Washington.
1st Match: Caveman Kinder drew with Bo Watson. During the match, color man Stan Stasiak called Watson “Bo Jackson”.
Interview with Watson, which took place after the card.
2nd Match: The Super Ranger defeated CW Bergstrom by DQ. Dutch Savage said Bergstrom reminded him of Big John Studd (Rest in Peace Big John).
Interview with Ranger, who was still wearing his mask after the card was over.
Pointless plug by Dutch Savage for the Century 21 realty he works for here in Vancouver.
3rd Match: For the CWI (Championship Wrestling International), World Tag Team Championships, the champions, Ryuma Go and Jesse Barr defeated Brains and Brawn, Randy Tyler and Mike Roselli, when Barr hit Roselli with a chair and Go pinned him.
Interesting, yet stupid, facts from the show:
1. Sandy Barr screwed up his ring announcement of Tyler, saying he weighed 154 lb. instead off 254 lb.
2. Tyler mocked Go, after Go did a sumo warm-up.
3. Stan Stasiak said Go was greater the Rikidozan.
4. Dutch Savage said the Tyler passed his BAR exam in Canada, and that Roselli was working on his.
5. Mike Roselli and Randy Tyler are CWUSA’s equivalent to Rick and Scott Steiner (they were great collegiate wrestlers in Canada, supposedly).
6. CWI is based in China, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Canada, and the US.
7. Savage called Go’s Swinging Neckbraker a clothesline.
8. Stasiak called Ryuma Go “Raguma Go” (he does this frequently).
9. Savage called Tyler’s DDT on Jesse Barr a “Side Suplex”.
10. CWUSA will be on tour in Woodland, WA, Seattle, Canada, and other parts of Washington.
CWUSA’s hotline 1-503-289-4222
Reservations for CWUSA seats at Vancouver’s Marshall Center:
Wrestlers coming to CWUSA soon are: Virgil, Hercules Hernandez, and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka (a native of Vancouver).
IN YOUR HOUSE PREDICTIONS by Joel Geraghty
Now that the card for the next WWF PPV is final, here are my WWF IN YOUR HOUSE PROGNOSTICATIONS!
MAIN EVENT for the WWF Title: DIESEL vs. SID: Winner gets the WWF Title, loser gets a last name. I believe that Sid will win the belt here and lose it to SHAWN MICHAELS in the near-future. Look for BAM BAM BIGELOW and the CORPORATION to get involved . . . BRET HART vs. HAKUSHI: JERRY LAWLER will play a part in the Kamikaze’s victory, or it could end in a double-disqualification/count-out . . . RAZOR RAMON & 1-2-3 KID vs. JEFF JARRETT & ROADIE: I don’t think the Bad Guy will ever pin Double J for the title, so I expect him, and his little pal, to win here, where the belt cannot change hands . . . SMOKING GUNNS vs. WWF Tag Team Champions OWEN HART & YOKOZUNA: The King of Harts and his 600-pound tag team partner hold onto their belts here, but will lose them to the ALLIED POWERS later this year . . . KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: ADAM BOMB vs. MABEL: Somehow, the Creation of Devastation wins, but will not go far in the actual tournament on June 25 in Philly . . . So there they are. Remember to check back here on May 15!!
ON THE WRESTLING MAT A Special Section By JEFF BROWN
After a six-month leave of absence from writing for the Ring Report, I am glad to be back. Wrestling has certainly changed in 6 months and hopefully you have been reading the Ring Report each and every week like I do to keep yourself updated on the world of professional wrestling. This special section each week will contain a few things. Different thoughts on wrestling, an In Your House report featuring a match from the PPV each week, and making it’s return is the ever so famous Wrestling Word Search*. Now, let’s talk wrestling!
After seeing WrestleMania XI, I thought the WWF lost it. But thanks to the past five episodes of Monday Night Raw, I see I was wrong. What I don’t understand is why people like myself would pay $25 or $35 for a pay-per-view when nothing exciting ever happens. I would rather spend my 35 dollars for a month of RAW. Bam Bam Bigelow’s turn to fan favorite has long been awaited and I hoped it would take place at WMXI, but no. Nothing really surprising happened in Hartford, CT. Last Monday nights RAW proved that once again, that the old saying “You get what you pay for is not always true, especially in the WWF where anything can happen <gee>.
The Undertaker thing has really gotten out of hand. After the Undertaker pinned King Kong Bundy, you think he will lose to Kama? To make this “feud” even stupider, Kama has apparently melted down the Undertaker’s urn into a necklace. Well, at least we won’t have anyone else stealing the Undertakers urn anymore because now we get to watch people steal Kama’s necklace!
Well, Roddy Piper’s “career” may finally be at rest when Shawn Michaels makes his return. He will be portrayed as a god but will keep his arrogant attitude thank god. This is much like what Roddy Piper did when he turned from rulebreaker to fan favorite. I’ve always been a Michaels fan but now I’m going to be joined by many more people all across the world.
And now a special message to Henry Godwinn, Mantaur, Duke Droese, Doink The Clock, and others who portray stupid gimmicks. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HOGFARMER, A CLOWN, OR EVEN A GARBAGEMAN REPRESENTING A SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY AS A CHAMPION?????? Correct, I have made my point.
That’s all for this week folks. Check out all 75 or so of my wrestling files on my BBS. I have tons of gifs, midis, wavs, games, and more! Call the Grand Slam BBS at (607) 797-4843. Up to 14,400 baud. Thanks, now onto the word search.
The Worst WWF Wrestlers
T A K N A T A T G
A M O U N T A I N
T L A E Y L U L A
A R M N Y D O P E
L U A R T S U O J
E A N T F A S D O
K E N R L R U T I
H A M N A T A R N
| lex LOSER
| HENRY godwinn
man MOUNTAIN rock | JEAN pierre lafytte
IN YOUR HOUSE REPORT #1
Usually, it’s Todd Pettingzoo telling you all about the In Your House PPV, but I’m taking over. Each week up to the PPV, I will discuss a match and what will probably happen. This weeks match is Owen Hart and Yokozuna defending the tag straps against the Smoking Gunns. After the predictable win at WrestleMania XI, Owen Hart has been taking credit for all the victories they have gotten. What this leads up to is Yokozuna turning on Owen Hart either at the PPV, or shortly after. During the past house shows, these two teams have fought and the Yokozuna turn almost looks 100% promising.
* Trademark Name by Jeff Brown
COUNTING THE RING LIGHTS by MIKE TESTA
Wrestling fans, do your parents know where you are? Why o Why does Bob Backlund still have no tan, yet he’s been on Spring Break for 3 weeks? That’s one h3ll of a SB I might add. I only get one week.
I was VERY impressed with the Diesel v. Bam Bam match on RAW. Diesel held his own, and yes those were some wrestling moves by Big Daddy Cool. I read earlier in the week, that Diesel injured his knee at a Superstars taping. I hope they don’t take the title away from him just because of this, I really think he’s improved tons, yet none of RSPW seems to give the guy credit. Sure he’s no SABU, OOPS, maybe I shouldn’t mention him. OK so he no Chris Beniot.
In regards to the claims Lawler is making about Bret Hart, I can back him up. Ever sine Bret went single I’ve had a open contract ready for him to sign and he keeps dodging me. Bret Hart your a . . . Despite this feud being two years old, I really don’t care. Lawler’s great, and I hope we can see them wrestle one more time.
I liked the angle on Zone, where they held up the IC title, giving us two good matches next week. The only thing they did wrong (Besides giving us Atom Bomb vs. Mabel as KOTR qualifier match at IYH), was not having Tunney do the announcement. I truly miss his favorite lines of. “It is the conclusion of this office . . .,” or “Therefore . . .,” or “After careful consideration . . .”
Hunter Hearst Helmsley looked a little RAW. However, (Hey another Tunney word) I expect good things from him. What ever happened to Chris Candido, Erik Watts, and Chad Fortune coming in? Will one of these guys be Razor’s tag partner, or could one or two of them be Backlund’s special announcement on RAW May 15 (Circle that one on your calendar wrestling fans)? One last question. If Flair is going to tag with Vader, and further he is in the U.S. Title tourney, why the h3ll was he teaming with Anderson on Sat Night? Well I guess that’s WCW for you. You know the group owned by the guy how colorizes old Movies. I can’t wait till the WWF does one of those “WWF NG” skits, and they take a shot at Jane Fonda.
FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC by “MANIAC” MIKE BLADE
If you read my column on a regular basis, you’ve probably guessed that I’m pro-WWF. Exactly why, I couldn’t say. Maybe because I grew up in New England (the WWF’s backyard). Maybe because my profession is Marketing (the WWF is the definite leader in this field). Perhaps because I like to watch clowns wrestle (arrrgh!). Let’s discard the last of those.
In my life, I look at the long term outcome of choices. Hopefully many of you are the same way. Vince McMahon also looks at the long term. That’s why he pushes Diesel, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, etc. . . . he knows that they are good now, and that they’ll sell for years to come.
In direct contrast to this, the Turner organization has been throwing away the future of the organization formerly known as WCW so that older wrestlers can relive (almost word for word) their past glory. Young talent such as Steve Austin, Brian Pillman, Dustin Rhodes, etc. . . . are being cast aside for the likes of Terry Bollea, Ric Flair, Jim Duggan, and Butcher. Not that these men weren’t great in their day (Bollea can wrestle, he just doesn’t. Flair still manages a good match now and then.), but what happens next year when they’ve finally decided to call it quits? Where will WCW be then?
WCW officials keep hyping their farm system. A system that has so far given us the hyper-over-hyped Marcus Bagwell and Alex Wright. Both of whom have potential which has not yet been reached. And, both of whom have already alienated fans who expect someone to earn respect. We enjoy watching a Shane Douglas wander around from organization to organization so that he can find himself and become “The Franchise”. We like to see someone like a Cactus Jack or a Vader develop from what they were to what they are. We root for a Bret Hart not because he’s being shoved in our face, but because he’s the unsung hero, the underdog who must to battle to the top in order to survive.
The WWF has a future because they are building a future. WCW had better start, or it may be too late.
NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
With three term papers due in the next three days I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible because I don’t have better things to be doing, I have homework to be doing . . . 😛
Departing reporter Joel Geraghty (yes folks that means WWF SUPERSTARS joins WCW WORLD WIDE and WWF ACTION ZONE as shows needing reliable reporters), brought me some surprising news this week: The Ring Report was plugged in the May issue of CompuServe Magazine! Pg. 50, I believe, check it out! It’s our first plugging in an actual magazine and I’m quite happy with it. Now, it’s $5 to the guy or gal who gets us plugged in the Observer! 🙂
This week I learned that I’m not taking Summer classes so I’ll be joining the ranks of the workforce again for the summer (easy computer jobs in the Harrisburg, PA area — anyone?), and that will probably mean nothing to the Ring Report (other than I’ll be more feisty than usual).
I’m also wishing Tom Misnik well after I kill him one of these days. Not only did his phone call wake me up from my afternoon nap on Friday (::grumble::), he just phoned in the “real story” behind the Bleacher Bum’s encounter with Steve Richards on Saturday night. In either case, I’m now another half an hour behind in getting this out and I haven’t even plugged the convention yet . . .
Yes, the ECW Convention will be held in late June (see last week’s Ring Report for details), and it is open to EVERYONE from the computer world. For details/prices e-mail TOM “MR. ECW” MISNIK at MRECW@AOL.COM and he’ll be happy to come out of his coma to send you full details . . .
And now, I’m off — a term paper to write tonight after I finish this and, oh yah, a test in that class tomorrow night! Ah, life . . . 😛
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
MADDOGJMF & Company!
HOW TO CONTACT THE RING REPORT:
GENERAL COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS/SUBMISSIONS: RINGREPORT@AOL.COM
“MAD DOG” JAMES M. FINCH, Editor in Chief, WCW MAIN EVENT & WWF
ACTION ZONE: MADDOGJMF@AOL.COM and 71554,121 on CSERVE
RYAN CUNNINGHAM, Managing Editor, WCW PRO & SAT NITE, WCW PPV:
BRYAN FISHER, WWF RAW, WWF MANIA & WCW WORLD WIDE Reporter:
DENNIS MILLER, NEWS, ECW & SMW Reporter: 73633,1651 on CSERVE
“CRUNGE” CRAIG UTLEY, USWA Reporter: firstname.lastname@example.org
CHRIS YETMAN, WWF SPOTLIGHT Reporter: Chryetman@aol.com
“MANIAC” MIKE BLADE, FROM THE MIND OF THE MANIAC columnist:
JOEL GERAGHTY, WWF SUPERSTARS Reporter: 76375,3467 on CSERVE
RICKY KAYE, MTW HOUSE SHOW & WWF WRESTLING CHALLENGE Reporter:
MIKE TESTA, COUNTING THE RING LIGHTS Columnist:
JIM CHAMBERLIN, THE MASTER OF ALL HOLDS: RadioS1001@aol.com
DAVID TAUB, WCW ON PRIME Reporter: email@example.com
ROB NEWLAND, STATE OF WRESTLING COLUMNIST: Laret@aol.com
David Taub, WCW PRIME Reporter: firstname.lastname@example.org
Mike Jolly, Championship Wrestling USA Reporter: email@example.com
JEFF BROWN, Lots of stuff! <g>: CARD NEWS@AOL.COM
and DARK CHEETAH as that Baltimore Bum’s Babe-o-Rama (in his