The Ring Report TV Update 8/25/96 Vol. 3, No. 4

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The Ring Report TV Update 8/25/96 Vol. 3, No. 4
(“What are words for?”)
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A STATEMENT FROM THE PUBLISHER
This issue was originally due to come out a couple of weeks ago (I know it seems like years). Instead of merging it into a giant issue we’re just going for it as is. Due to recent events (and the Notes from the Mad Dog in Vol. 3, issue #5 will be my only public statement on the matter), we’re just going to muddle along like we’ve always done so sit back and enjoy 2 issues in a day. 🙂

USWA REPORT 8/25/96 by MRS. KATHRYN D. LIZENBY
E-Mail: NeutronSTAR@prodigy.com
WOW!! Where do I start? Let’s talk first about CLIQUES!! I don’t know how they spell it, it might be clique, it might be kliq, it could be clicks, but the spelling is not what’s really important, in fact them having a clique is not what is really important. What is really important is how they are using the clique. . . read on to see if you agree.

NOTE: I have been asked by my readers to tell who is the good guys and bad guys since some do not see the show, but read the report. So, I will put face/heel by someone’s name so readers who do not see the show will be able to tell who is the good guy (face), and who is the bad guy (heel).

The show opens with Dave Brown talking about what was going to be going on today when Tony Falk comes out and says that they are sick and tired of being abused and mistreated by this promotion. He says that they have a big announcement. ::Commercial Break:: (I normally don’t show these, but so you can see the flow of today’s show and the amount of action in a given space, I will use them)

INTERVIEW: After the announcement, Tony Falk, Miss Samantha, Bill Dundee, Tommy Rich, Jamie Dundee and Frank Morrell all come out of the back. (These are all considered to be the bad guys at this point.)Tony Falk says that they are going to unite together under one front, because they as sick of the favoritism that Randy Hales plays with Brian Christopher, Wolfie D, and Doug Gilbert. Tommy Rich, who is in a suit looking quite dapper, says that right here in Memphis, TN, somebody says something about struts, strolling, styling and profiling, that’s what the Wildfire’s doing, but what we are talking about here is cliques!! Randy Hales, Wolfie D, , that’s a real big clique. Then you take Jerry Lawler, Brian Christopher, and Doug Gilbert, now that’s a clique. So when you see this group here is were are going to knock your cliques out. This group here is the biggest clique around. Jamie Dundee says that he is the littlest man in the clique, and he doesn’t want Wolfie to come crying back to him after he is done carrying his bags and driving him around in a car. Because he doesn’t want to have anything to do with your clique or your kind, “Right Dad!!” Bill Dundee, who is dressed in his ELVIS outfit, says that he’s dressed like that to show everyone what it really looks like to be King!! Then he keeps referring to Miss Samantha as Pricillia.

MATCH 1: This is for the TV Title. Wolfie D (face) vs. Bill Dundee with Miss Samantha (heels) at ringside. Downtown Bruno (Harvey Whippleman) is the referee. Wolfie D (Kelly Wolfe) comes out with PG-13 stuff on meaning he won the cage match which entitled him to use it. This was a really good match with Bill and Wolfie really working well together. Arm drag take down takes Wolfie down, with Bill using punches. Sam pulls on Wolfie’s feet and Bill uses the ropes on Wolfie. Wolfie uses an airplane spin and knocks the ref. out. He then pins Bill, but the ref. is out, Jamie Dundee comes out from the back and attacks Wolfie and reverses the pin, putting his father Bill on top. Wolfie kicks out. Wolfie goes to the top rope for a drop kick, and at this time takes out both the Ref. and Bill Dundee. Jamie and Bill both attack Wolfie with a chair. (All this time the Bruno is on the floor, out cold.)Bart Sawyer comes out and helps Wolfie only to be attacked by Tony Falk. Bill and Jamie attack Bart with a chair. Brian Christopher comes out to help. ::commercial break::

Bruno is carried out by two people.

INTERVIEW: Randy Hales comes out and says that a long time fan, Gail, says that Bruno hit his head when he fell. Because of his condition, he will not be able to referee today, leaving him and this show with a qualified referee. He calls for Frank Morrell, saying that this is his only choice. He says that Frank is a licensed Referee and asks Frank if he will ref. for them today. Frank tells him that he is working for Double J and is paid well by him. Randy tells him that he is in a big jam and really needs his help, but expects him to call it down the middle. Frank agrees, but says that he will ref. the way Frank refs. Tony Falk comes out and is totally upset saying that Frank can’t referee until he calls the boss (Jeff Jarrett). “You better call the boss, you just can’t do this. . . I’m gonna make a phone call!!”

MATCH 2: Colorado Kid (North American Champ) (face) vs. Minnesota Mauler (heel). The Kid wins this one, and is apparently back in the USWA defending his North American Championship belt. (Frank referees this and does a good job.) ::commercial break::

MATCH 3: Bart Sawyer (face) vs. Tony Falk (heel)Bart really takes it to Falk in the beginning with slams to the turnbuckle and flying elbows, but Falk retaliates with elbows and boots. Falk keeps putting his thumb in Sawyer’s throat as well. Falk gets frustrated and uses a chain on Bart, Frank spots the chain and refuses to count, Bart pins Frank and wins. This was really a good match.

INTERVIEW: Tony Falk comes out again and says that he has something to say. He just got off the phone with the boss man himself, and he said that you were fired!! He was talking to Frank Morrell. Frank says that he doesn’t need this, and nails Falk. Tommy Rich comes in from the back and both Rich and Falk jump Morrell, stomping and kicking him. Brian and Wolfie come out to help, but Frank is on the floor, out. Randy Hales, Wolfie and Brian are standing over Frank, and finally help him up slowly. Randy says that Brian Christopher and Jamie Dundee are suppose to have a match. Brian and Wolfie help Frank to the back. Bill Dundee comes out and tell Randy Hales to referee it himself. Randy has no other choice, even though he is not a licensed referee, decides to do this.

MATCH 3: Brian Christopher (face) (USWA title holder) vs. Jamie Dundee. The referee is Randy Hales. Jamie wants Randy to check Brian for chains or other weapons. He checks them both. Brian starts out with a neck drop and Jamie complains about having his tights pulled. Then Brian does a drop kick following a leap frog. Jamie complains about having his hair pulled. Finally Jamie pins Brian, but has his feet on the ropes, Randy see this and stops counting. Brian then rolls up Jamie and pins him, putting his feet on the ropes, but Randy doesn’t see this and counts Brian as winner. (This all happened in just a matter of seconds by the way.)Tommy Rich comes out and both he and Jamie double team Brian. Then they nail Randy. Wolfie comes out to save. Brian Christopher retains the title. ::commercial break::

INTERVIEW: Well sort of an interview with action. Jamie Dundee comes out and challenges Brian Christopher to have a match with no referee. He is standing in the ring calling Brian chicken when Brian attacks him from behind. Tommy Rich comes out and attacks Brian from behind. Then Jamie and Rich both double team Brian. Wolfie D. comes in and tries to help, but they are overwhelmed by Tony Falk and Bill Dundee who are also out there by now helping the clique. Frank Morrell comes out and grabs Tony Falk, and starts nailing him when Miss Samantha comes out and throws powder in Frank’s face, then nails him with her shoe, right in the jaw. Randy Hales comes flying out and says “if you touch anyone else you’re fired!!” Some are in the ring trying to take Brian Christopher’s boot off, Randy yells go to commercial, and we get the USWA Fund-raiser, PO Box 1783, Hendersonville, TN 37077. When that stops, we are back in the studio with all the clique, Tommy, Bill, Sam, Falk, and Jamie. Randy comes out to talk with them, when he is punched in the face by Bill Dundee, and to make him fall down, Jamie nails him with a chair. Tommy Rich is kicking Randy and ripping his shirt off. Sam is nailing Randy with her shoe. Frank Morrell, Wolfie D, and Brian Christopher come out to help, and Brian has a belt and is beating the clique to the back. Randy is up in the ring, with his shirt half torn off, and doesn’t look so good!!

Great Show, thanks for reading.

WWF CANADIAN CHALLENGE8/24/96 Joel Geraghty
(cgeraght@icis.on.ca)
WHAT YOU MISSED: DOK HENDRIX was alone this week, and hyped the WWF EX-PERIENCE in Toronto despite the fact that the event probably ended a half-hour before this show started (CHALLENGE airs at 11:30 PM) . . . From this week’s WWF SUPERSTARS, HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY needed two Pedigrees to finish off DAVID HASKINS. During the match, MR. PERFECT left the broadcast position and made off with HHH’s escort . . . Stills from SUMMERSLAM of the JAKE ROBERTS/JERRY LAWLER fiasco, and MARK HENRY coming to the rescue . . . Part Two of MARK HENRY’S Olympic Diary . . . From SUPERSTARS, WHO was beaten by JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS with the DDT . . . Greatest Intercontinental Championship Moments: MR. PERFECT losing the title by submitting to the Sharpshooter applied by BRET “HIT MAN” HART at SUMMERSLAM ’91 . . . A look at the saga of AHMED JOHNSON and his kidneys . . . From last week’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW, THE BRITISH BULLDOG lost to THE SLAMMY AWARD WINNING OWEN HART by count-out when SUNNY got involved. SUNNY called BULLDOG a pervert and threw Coke in his face, causing JIM CORNETTE to march out and argue . . . From RAW, JIM ROSS interviewed PAUL BEARER & MANKIND. THE UNDERTAKER was carried into the aisle by the Druids, but woke up and chased the “evil souls” away . . . DOK says that UNDERTAKER will meet GOLDUST in a Final Curtain Match (pinfall only) on September 22 at WWF IN YOUR HOUSE: MIND GAMES . . . Comments from THE UNDERTAKER, who said that when he sees GOLDUST, he sees MANKIND, and when he sees MANKIND, he sees PAUL BEARER . . . From RAW, GOLDUST won the four-man “Sudden Death” battle royal by ousting SAVIO VEGA to earn a title shot on September 6 . . . A clip from last week’s FREE FOR ALL of YOKOZUNA snapping the top rope . . . From RAW, SHAWN MICHAELS pinned YOKOZUNA in a non-title match. During the match, JIM CORNETTE came out and attacked JOSE LOTHARIO . . . DOK says that because of what we just saw, CORNETTE vs. LOTHARIO has been added to the IYH: MIND GAMES card . . . SLAM JAM with DOK wearing a different shirt, talking about IYH: MIND GAMES, where MANKIND will challenge SHAWN MICHAELS . . . A special Canadian segment of BRET HART talking about his friend, 27-year-old FRANK RONCO, who has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. THE HIT MAN says that there will be a bone marrow clinic, and for more information call 905-856-2374 . . . DOK tries to convince us that, even though it’s now 12:26 in the morning, we can still catch WWF Day at Toronto’s CNE. He looks at his watch and decides he better get going so he can play softball at WWF Day . . . The show ends with a promo for THE STALKER BARRY WINDHAM . . . !!!

LUCHA LIBRE REPORT by DOUG CORTI
E-Mail: jadcorti@artsu1.watstar.uwaterloo.ca
Only two matches on this week’s broadcast, as the length was cut from 105 minutes to 40 as a result of a soccer telecast. Both matches came from CMLL. Starting with this report, I will show who the captain of the respective teams is.

Match 1 – BLACK WARRIOR, SATANICO & RAMBO (Capt.) vs. SILVER KING, SUPER PORKY BRAZO DE PLATA & BRAZO DEL ORO
Fast start to the match, as Porky, who moves extremely well for a man of his size, unleashes a series of head butts against Satanico. Silver King hits the Black Warrior with a beautiful spinning DDT. Not much in the way of highspots in either match. First fall goes to the tecnicos, as Rambo receives a FrankenDelOro and finds his shoulders against the mat. I have only seen Rambo a few times, but he looks out of place in the lucha style. To put it more bluntly, from what I have seen from him, he really sucks. On to the second fall. Quite a lot of fighting outside of the ring from Silver King and Black Warrior. King gives Warrior a superkick on the outside, and a bodyslam to the floor. The tecnicos win this fall by disqualification, as Brazo Del Oro is unceremoniously deposited on the top rope by Rambo.

Match 2 – EMILIO CHARLES JR., CANEK, & APOLO DANTES (Capt.) vs. ATLANTIS, HECTOR GARZA & RAYO DE JALISCO JR. (Capt.)
I was hoping to see a little more in the way of highspots in a match involving Garza, who is on his way to becoming a great flyer. Nope. The easiest way to describe the first fall is to say that the tecnicos took turns as the victims of a three on one beating frenzy by the rudos. Atlantis was forced to submit at the hands of Dantes & Canek. Garza then entered the ring, got slammed by Canek, and then got hit with a brutal-looking top rope splash from Charles. Garza was unable to continue the match after this, and was helped to the back by the medical personnel. Pretty sure that it was a work. Jalisco Jr. and Atlantis tried to continue the match, but the numbers were not on their side. Atlantis was kicked in the err.. family jewels by Canek, leading to his pin, and then Charles and Dantes piled on top of Jalisco for the victory in the second fall and the match. After the match, Dantes returned to the ring to taunt the injured Jalisco, to whom he had lost his belt from a couple of months ago.

WWF CANADIAN MANIA8/24/96Joel Geraghty (cgeraght@icis.on.ca)
WHAT YOU MISSED: The show opened with clips of the interview with PAUL BEARER & MANKIND from last week’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW . . . From RAW, FREDDIE JOE FLOYD was annihilated by THE MAN THEY CALL VADER while JIM CORNETTE did commentary . . . Part Two of MARK HENRY’S “Olympic Diary” . . . From RAW, GOLDUST won the four-man “Sudden Death” battle royal by eliminating SAVIO VEGA. GOLDIE will challenge the WWF Champion on September 6 . . . The first edition of “Greatest Intercontinental Championship Moments”. From June 20, 1979, PAT PATTERSON pinned TED DIBIASE after slugging him with brass knuckles to become the first I/C Champion . . . A look at the bracket for the I/C Title Tournament . . . From RAW, THE SLAMMY AWARD WINNING OWEN HART defeated THE BRITISH BULLDOG via count-out in a first-round match. SUNNY, who was at ringside, then called BULLDOG a pervert for trying to look up her skirt and threw Coca-Cola in his face . . . Promo for THE STALKER BARRY WINDHAM that indicates he will be a face; he says that predators like VADER, GOLDUST, STEVE AUSTIN, and MANKIND will become his prey . . . From RAW, JIM ROSS interviewed PAUL BEARER & MANKIND. During the interview, the Druids carried the lifeless body of THE UNDERTAKER and lay him in the aisle. To make a long story short, UT awoke and chased BEARER & MANKIND away . . . Part Two of “behind the scenes” at BAYWATCH with SHAWN MICHAELS . . . Stills from SUMMERSLAM of the SHAWN/VADER title match . . . From RAW, YOKOZUNA was pinned by SHAWN MICHAELS in a non-title bout. During the match, JIM CORNETTE ran out and clocked JOSE LOTHARIO with his tennis racket . . . TODD PETTENGILL showed what happened after RAW went off the air; YOKO high-fived SHAWN and left peacefully, thus putting to rest any rumors of him re-joining CAMP CORNETTE . . . !!!

IPWA in Alexandria, 8/23/96 by JEFF AMDUR
E-Mail: jefam@clark.net
Here are the results of the Independent Pro Wrestling Alliance card held at the IPWA’S home base, the Secret Cove Restaurant/Arena on Friday, August 23.

JUSTIN ST. JOHN (with STUD LEE OSBORNE) pinned LUCIFER (KNIGHT OF THE ROAD) in 9:48, with a big assist from Stud Lee.

“WISE GUY” JIMMY CICERO (with ROYCE C. PROFIT & STEVE CORINO) pinned SCOTTY McKEEVER in 5″45

In a three-way tag team match for the IPWA tag-team belts, DARKSIDE (GLENN OSBORNE & REBEL) successfully defended their belts against THE HEADBANGERS (MOSH & THRASHER, with JEFF JONES) and THE BAD BOYS (MAX INTENSITY & DAN RAGE). The Bad Boys were the first eliminated in 6:44, and the ‘Bangers were pinned in 8:03.

SHEIK ALI AMIN pinned ADAM FLASH in 4:57.

BIG SLAM VADER (with PAPA TAZZ) beat NIKOLAI VOLKOFF on a disqualification in 2:44, as the HEADBANGERS and JEFF JONES interfered in Volkoff’s behalf. Nikolai didn’t take to that very kindly and after the match joined Vader in challenging the ‘Bangers to a tag team match. After much posturing, the Headbangers decided not to. Even when challenged to a match during next month’s first round of the tag tournament, Mosh and Thrasher declined, saying that they would be wrestling then in Japan.

The main event was supposed to be CUEBALL CARMICHAEL defending his IPWA championship against number one challenger STEVE CORINO (with ROYCE C. PROFIT & JIMMY CICERO). About five minutes into the match, Cueball tired of the constant interference and double teaming and proposed making this a tag team match. He then brought someone out from the back who had a big grudge to settle with Profit.

So, now, our new main event, was–sincerely–

CUEBALL CARMICHAEL & JOHNNY GUNN beat STEVE CORINO & JIMMY CICERO (with ROYCE C. PROFIT) in 27:40 (time includes the first five solo minutes).

The next IPWA card will be on Saturday, September 21, featuring the first round of the three-month tag team tournament. Also on the card, but not in the tag tourney, will be Kamala, the Ugandan Giant.

E-mail IPWA ring announcer Kevin Carson at voiceipwa@aol.com for further details.
From Jeff the IPWA timekeeper

WCW MONDAY NITRO 8/19
WHAT YOU MISSED: VK WALLSTREET vs. JIM DUGGAN started things off. Well, a look at their clash match-up came first. NICK PATRICK is the ref. Duggan gets the crowd to chat “USA” and seems to be over with them. Wallstreet steals Duggan’s tape and tapes his fist meanwhile Duggan grabs another reel of tape from his tights and tapes his fist. Duggan punches VK and gets the pin then does an interview with GENE OKERLUND . . . Duggan wants to know what’s going on when RANDY SAVAGE comes out. Duggan lets Savage take over the interview . . . clips of CHRIS BENOIT losing to THE GIANT at the Clash . . . EARL ROBERT EATON comes out by himself to face CHRIS BENOIT. If you don’t know your WCW history, these two used to be a great (if JTTS) tag team a few years back in this league. Benoit brutalized Eaton with a headbutt off the top rope for the pinfall . . . clips of NICK PATRICK and the NWO from the CLASH . . . an interview with STING & LEX LUGER . . . SCOTT NORTON vs. DISCO INFERNO: one sided victory for Norton. No contest, Disco submits to an arm bar . . . TEDDY LONG with ICETRAIN. Long says that Nick Patrick called the submission at the HOG WILD Icetrain vs. Norton match when Icetrain *did not* submit. Umm . . . LORD STEVEN REGAL vs. DEAN MALENKO: good match but Malenko pulls out the win . . . an interview with the HORSEMEN & HORSEWOMAN . . . NASTY BOYS vs. PUBLIC ENEMY: a decent match, better than recent ones between the two. Saggs on a table but gets off and both members of PE go through it. ROCCO ROCK gets pinned AGAIN. Big Thumbs down . . . an interview with THE NASTY BOYS . . . a look at DDP attacking EDDY GUERRERO at the Clash . . . DDP comes out to face CHAVO GUERRERO JR.: Guerrero gets a rare win and DDP goes nuts. He attacks Guerrero then threatens Nick Patrick. Patrick refuses to aid Guerrero and RANDY ANDERSON has to come out to save the day . . . GENE OKERLUND interviews NICK PATRICK. Nick says that he didn’t have backup so he didn’t get involved . . . NICK PATRICK again out to ref. HARLEM HEAT vs. THE AMERICAN MALES: Heat gets a pretty easy win . . . GLACIER promo . . . RIC FLAIR & ARN ANDERSON vs. STING & LUGER: Sting calls out Benoit & MONGO. Sting says that there’s a major problem within WCW and that neither group can trust each. He demands that Sting & Luger take the slots of Mongo & Benoit at the next PPV because they’ve felt War Games before. Lackluster interview. Arn asks Sting if he can avoid the little stingers and get in the gutter and do something so violent that the other guys quits. Flair says that it’s up to MONGO & BENOIT. Benoit says he’ll stand behind the decision of Flair & Anderson. Mongo says that this is a team and he’ll be willing to sacrifice and says he’ll bring serious heck to Sting & Luger if they lose War Games . . . a paid announcement from the NWO. Same one that aired this weekend . . . ERIC BISCHOFF says the Executive committee has OK’d Flair & Sting & Luger & Anderson vs. NWO . . . RANDY SAVAGE vs. THE GIANT. Savage attacks the giant with a chair. All out brawl. Giant goes for the chokeslam and Savage kicks him in the groin. Savage attacks Jimmy Hart. Savage attacks Hugh Morrus & Bubba Rogers with chairs. Then Savage attacks the Giant & the faces of fear with the chair and runs back to the dressing room. Giant RAN back to the dressing room to kill Savage . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 8/19
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at the turn of PAUL BEARER . . . KEVIN KELLY makes his WWF RAW debut, replacing VINCE MCMAHON . . . 1st round of the IC TITLE TOURNEY: OWEN HART vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG: decent match and SUNNY comes to ringside before the commercial. JIM CORNETTE is not out there and SUNNY wants these two for her camp. Cornette is in the dressing room and doesn’t want to pick sides. YOKOZUNA apparently has reconciled with Cornette. Bulldog is counted out. He fell on Sunny and Sunny threw a soda in his face. She cowered behind JERRY LAWLER. Cornette comes out and gets in the face of Sunny. Sunny says that Owen is the better man. Screaming match and Cornie leaves . . . another portion of the interview with AHMED JOHNSON . . . MARK HENRY comes out to sign autographs and Sunny runs off . . . VADER comes out with Cornette to face FREDDIE JOE FLOYD: things are in fast forward as Vader has no trouble with Floyd. The Screen starts going crazy followed by the lights in the arena . . . An interview with PAUL BEARER and MANKIND. The lights flicker and Paul Bearer says it’s not the Undertaker, it’s Mankind. Then the music for the Undertaker starts up and the light go out. Lights come back on and new music plays. Druids carry THE UNDERTAKER to the ring on a cross. Mankind says it’s the Undertaker’s body. Paul Bearer asks us to bow our heads and the Undertaker is gone forever — the UT stands up. He raises his arms, fireworks go off and Mankind & Paul Bearer exit stage right . . . a promo for THE STALKER . . . GOLDDUST, SAVIO VEGA, STEVE AUSTIN & SID in a final 4 battle royale for a title shot for the WWF title. SID was triple teamed and eliminated early then came back to chokeslam everyone. STEVE AUSTIN was the next to go via Savio and then comes back in to attack Savio. Savio quickly eliminated next and GoldDust gets the title shot . . . YOKOZUNA vs. SHAWN MICHAELS for the WWF TITLE: Yoko is angry after the ring broke last night. Yoko seems to have gained another 100 lb. or so. No Jim Cornette at ringside. Not so good match. Yoko misses a splash, Shawn does a Superfly and it’s almost over. Then Shawn goes for the sweet chin music, Yoko grabs it, Samoan drops Shawn and doesn’t pin him. Yoko misses a leg drop, roll up, 123 . . .

SUMMERSLAM ‘968/18/96 Joel Geraghty (cgeraght@icis.on.ca)
WHAT YOU MISSED: VINCE MCMAHON, JIM ROSS, & MR. PERFECT handled commentary . . . SAVIO VEGA lost to THE SLAMMY AWARD WINNING OWEN HART (without JIM CORNETTE, who was with VADER in the dressing room) when the referee stopped the match when OWEN applied the Sharpshooter after whacking SAVIO with his cast. CLARENCE MASON, who had been cheering THE KING OF HARTS  from the aisle, jumped in the ring and celebrated. JUSTIN “HAWK” BRADSHAW attacked SAVIO afterwards . . . TODD PETTENGILL wandered around the boiler room and came across MANKIND . . . In the four-team elimination match, THE SMOKING GUNNS retained the WWF Tag Team Title over THE NEW ROCKERS, THE BODY DONNAS, & THE GODWINNS. Here is the elimination – 1. ZIP was covered by BILLY GUNN after being tripped by MARTY JANNETTY . . . 2. HENRY GODWINN mauled JANNETTY with the Slop Drop . . . 3. BILLY pinned PHINEAS GODWINN with help from BART. Afterwards, a huge picture of SUNNY unfolded from the ceiling above the ring . . . BRIAN F’N PILLMAN manned the WWF Superstar Line . . . Footage from a “battle” to determine the quickest way to get to SUMMERSLAM, won by THE GODWINNS on Rapid Transit over THE SMOKING GUNNS on horse and carriage . . . A look at JERRY LAWLER at a Cleveland Indians batting practice . . . WWF superstars participated in “Paint the Town”, which is painting over graffiti on some buildings in Cleveland . . . Clip of THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL BEARER giving away a funeral, and clips from a SUMMERSLAM party sponsored by STRIDEX . . . DOK HENDRIX interviewed PSYCHO SID . . . THE BRITISH BULLDOG (without JIM CORNETTE) was overpowered by PSYCHO SID with a powerbomb. Near the end, CORNETTE came down and confronted CLARENCE MASON, who had been cheering DAVEY BOY, and this confrontation led to BULLDOG’S demise . . . A commercial for a new SHAWN MICHAELS jacket . . . TODD PETTENGILL spoke with WILDMAN MARC MERO & SABLE; their new look is MERO in a glittery robe and SABLE in a snazzy, non-leather dress . . . GOLDUST beat WILDMAN MARC MERO following the Curtain Call. A pretty good match, which featured MERO’S new move the “Wild Thing” (an amazing shooting star press off the top turnbuckle). After the contest, GOLDIE moved in on SABLE and embraced her but WILDMAN woke up and pounded the “Hollywood Legend” . . . A look at SID on America On-Line . . . The story on AHMED JOHNSON was told . . . TODD PETTENGILL conducted an in-ring interview with FAAROOQ ASAAD & SUNNY, who felt that the Intercontinental Title should be handed to them . . . A recap of the events between JERRY “THE KING” LAWLER and JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS . . . THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN MARK HENRY came down to do commentary . . . JERRY LAWLER, carrying a canvas bag, entered the ring and took off his jacket to reveal a Baltimore Ravens (formerly the Cleveland Browns) Vinnie Testiverdes jersey, riling the Cleveland crowd. THE KING went on to pull two bottles of Jim Beam out of his sack and insult JAKE ROBERTS, who came to the ring. LAWLER reached into his bag and this time produced a huge bottle of wine. A match did occur, with LAWLER pinning THE SNAKE with a handful of tights after jabbing a bottle to JAKE’S throat. Afterwards, LAWLER went to pour alcohol down JAKE’S mouth but MARK HENRY came to the rescue and helped ROBERTS back to the dressing room . . . MR. BOB BACKLUND was campaigning still . . . A highlight package of the UNDERTAKER/MANKIND feud . . . In the Boiler Room Brawl, MANKIND “urned” a victory (sorry, couldn’t resist) over THE UNDERTAKER thanks to PAUL BEARER, who refused to give the urn to the Reaper. BEARER bashed the Dead Man with the urn, knocking him out. Benedictine-type chants began playing as a group of hooded Druids came to ringside and carried UT, crucifix-style, away . . . Promo for the next WWF IN YOUR HOUSE, scheduled for Sunday, September 22 . . . DOK HENDRIX talked with JIM CORNETTE & VADER . . . In the WWF Championship Match, THE MAN THEY CALL VADER was victorious over WWF Champion SHAWN MICHAELS via count-out. JIM CORNETTE grabbed the microphone and called for the match to continue, which it did. VADER beat THE HEARTBREAK KID by disqualification when SHAWN repeatedly used CORNETTE’S tennis racket. CORNETTE once again demanded the bout keep going, and again it did. Finally, SHAWN pinned VADER with a moonsault after the 450-pounder had kicked out following a Superkick . . . !!!

USWA Report 8/18/96 by MRS. KATHRYN D. LIZENBY
E-Mail: NeutronSTAR@prodigy.com
We have new Tag Team Champs. They are the Moondogs. The Unified Champ is still Jerry Lawler, Brian Christopher is still the USWA Title Holder, and the TV title is held by Wolfie D.

MATCH 1: Brian Christopher vs. the Punisher. This Memphis studio crowd loves Brian, and he really like to get them behind him. He’s great with a crowd. Brian tries to get the Punisher in a headlock and the Punisher just throws him across the ring, not once, but twice. Brian can do a lot of moves, but his spinning leg kick and around the world finally enabled him to pin the Punisher.

HIGHLIGHTS: Again they showed Jamie trying to burn Wolfie D’s old PG-13 stuff. Wolfie attacking him and Bill coming out to help his son Jamie. You will see where this is leading in a minute.

INTERVIEW: This was an interview with Jamie Dundee, and in my opinion, which I don’t often give, it was one of the best heel interviews that I have ever seen anyone give!! (This will be on the web page under http://pages.prodigy.com/uswa/jamie.htm) if you are interested in hearing it in full.)Jamie basically said that PG-13 was the greatest because of him, and that it was all him. He then told everyone everything about Wolfie D. He said, “We all know your name is Kelly Warren Wolf, and that you dropped out of Overton High School in Nashville, and that you grew up in West Nashville. If it weren’t for me, punk, you would be either in jail or worse dead!!” Jamie then started trashing, and I mean politicians have nothing on this boy when it comes to mudslinging, because he was trashing Wolfie’s MOM!!! He was calling her everything in the book and just saying horrible things about her. I’ve seen this lady, and she doesn’t look to me like someone Jamie should be messing with!! Jamie then said that he could have chosen Ripley Prim, or whatever the h3ll his name is there in the ring, to be in PG-13, but he chose Wolfie. So right now, I want to wrestle Wolfie D, not Ripley Prim.

MATCH 2: Jamie Dundee vs. Ripley Prim – Jamie wins this one easily, but then after the match as Ripley is walking to the dressing room Jamie attacks him again. Wolfie comes out to save him.

INTERVIEW: Wolfie was interviewed next and said that he was just sitting in the back biting his tongue. He said that Jamie was a lying, stinking piece of crap, you SOB!! He also told the fans that this week in the Louisville Gardens that Daddy couldn’t help Jamie, because there was going to be a cage around the ring. Then Jamie said his favorite quite, “I’m gonna take you to school fool, cause I’m cool like water in a swimming pool!!”

INTERVIEW: Doug Gilbert came out and said that he was finally back from a neck injury. He had been sitting at home for a month thinking about Tommy Rich. He looked at Dave, and asked him what he looked for in a friend, and Dave said Trust. Doug, said that’s right, I thought he, Tommy Rich, was a great guy ever since I was 12 years old and use to ride up and down the rode with him and my brother. He goes on to say that he is going to be the one who destroys him.

MATCH 3: Doug Gilbert vs. Tony Falk – Tony thought that he had Doug pinned because he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder – he didn’t realize that that tap came from Doug himself. Doug rolls him over and pins him.

TONY FALK: Tony runs over to the microphone and says that he was cheated, and he is sick and tired of having him talk about Tommy Rich that way. Tommy is a good man, and I want a re-match. Doug comes out and attacks Tony, Tommy Rich comes out and attacks Doug. Tommy and Tony double team Dougie till Brian comes out with the save.

INTERVIEW: Tommy Rich also gave a great interview at this point, I will record this and put it on the web page (http://pages.prodigy.com/uswa/uswa.htm)Look under sounds for this one. But basically he said that he was going to be the man to whoop up on a boy. He also said that Doug was so ugly as a 15 year old that he had to give him some of his girlfriends. – Great Interview.

MATCH 3: Wolfie D vs. Tommy Rich for the TV Title. Tommy goes to the announcers desk and tells Dave to ask the rednecks here to shut up because he needs to concentrate when he wrestles. The Punisher just comes out to watch. This really isn’t a scientific match with lots of punches exchanged. Tony Falk who is at ringside helps Tommy out a little, but then Jamie Dundee comes out from the back and attacks Wolfie while Tony Falk is busy distracting the referee, who is Downtown Bruno. You all may know him as Harvey Whippleman.

MATCH 4: This is a 6 man Tag Team match. On one side we have Brickhouse Brown, Leon Downs, and Reggie B. Fine vs. Bart Sawyer, Flex Kavana and Koko B. Ware. Flex, Bart and Koko basically dominate and win the match.

Another great show. Thanks for reading.

CWUSA 8-18-96 TV Show Summary by Mark Carlton
E-Mail: carlton@teleport.com
Announcer: Dutch Savage (17 Time PNW Champion)

Bodyguard vs. Oly Olsen: The match ends in a double pin of sorts as Bodyguard back suplexes Olsen to the mat. Both men’s shoulders are down but evidently Oly lifts his at the last moment and wins the match.

Interview with Prince Sumito: Last week Buddy Wayne didn’t show up for a tag match. The Bodyguard enters and starts talking about how he might not be the greatest wrestler but he still can get the job done. He hands Dutch a confidential envelopecontaining a surveillance report on Buddy Wayne and walks off.

Sumito vs. Col. DeBeers: Speaking of Buddy Wayne, he is with Sumito who grabs the PA microphone and yells “WHERE WERE YOU?”. As the match starts, Dutch opens the envelope and says it contains a private detective’s report from someone called Raven who is reporting on Buddy Wayne’s activities in Mexico where he wasseen drinking until 3:30 AM at a cantina. Dutch claims that Wayne was supposed to be scouting for matches for DeBeers and Wayne, not on vacation in Mexico. I think the storyline got screwed up here since DeBeers said last week that he had paid Wayne a bonus and *was* in Mexico sipping tequila. Oh well, this is wrestling, not reality. Back to the match, DeBeers takes the early advantage but Sumito makes a comeback with a series of flying head scissors. DeBeers attempts to come off the top rope butSumito recovers and throws DeBeers to the mat and follows it with a knee lift. Sumito has DeBeers rolled up but when the Colonel kicks out, Sumito runs into the referee who is stunned. Sumito is getting ready to apply the figure 4 but Wayne enters the ring and superkicks him. DeBeers coversSumito while the referee mysteriously comes to life and gets the pin.

Interview with Col. DeBeers and Buddy Wayne:
DeBeers: No interference by Buddy Wayne. I made a mistake.
Wayne: No apologies needed.

Dutch pulls out the confidential envelope and reads the report from Raven. Seems Wayne was *supposed* to be back in North Carolina looking for tag matches. As Dutch reads, Wayne and DeBeers stare at one another. DeBeers has a look of disbelief. Finally, Dutch shows the pictures of Wayne on the beach.

DeBeers: Not only do I find you on a nude beach, but you’ve got a beer in one hand and a black women in the other. What’s going on? You lied to me.
Wayne: Hold on Colonel, that was a celebration for getting us into the tournament. She’s just got one h3ll of a tan.

As we go to a commercial, DeBeers grabs the photos and shoves Wayne.

Bruiser Brian & Shawn Stasiak vs. Dane Rush & Lou Andrews:  (2 referees, DeBeers and The Clown)
DeBeers and the Clown are involved as much as the wrestlers here. Every time the goods guys get the advantage, DeBeers breaks them up. When the heels get the edge, The Clown interferes. DeBeers breaks The Clown’s count and visa versa. Lot of comedy here. A Bruiser clothesline sends Rush somersaulting. Rush recovers with a low blow. Later, Bruiser has Andrews pinned but DeBeers stops The Clown’s count. The Clown does the same thing later. Buddy Wayne enters the ring and attacks The Clown who chases Wayne away and disappears. This leaves Andrews and Rush free to tie up Bruiser Brian in the ropes then double team Stasiak. Rush comes off the top turnbuckle with an elbow drop and follows with a cover. DeBeers count 1-2-3 as Rush pins Stasiak. AAhhhhhh, The Pack is victorious again.

Interview with Lou Andrews and Dane Rush: Andrews starts by talking about how Potatohead #2 (Stasiak) is now a baked potato so get out the sour cream and chives. Jesse Barr enters and congratulates them on the win and grabs the contract for the match against him and Ryuma Go for the CWIA tag titles. Andrews pulls the contract back and says they are going through with the match. Barr replies “I didn’t teach you everything I know” and stomps off. Could there be a breakup ofThe Pack?

Jesse Barr vs. The Original Wrestling Clown (Falls count anywhere).
Lots of ECW type action except for both guys stay out of the crowd. Borne body slams Barr on the gym floor and gets a two count. Barr takes off his belt and starts whipping The Clown, then choking with the belt followed by ramming his head into the ring post. Somewhere in the process, The Clown’s mask is ripped off revealing to no one’s surprise, Matt Borne. Dutch does not let on. Borne recovers landing a trash can to the head and rips off the remnants of his mask and wig fully exposes his true identity. Borne gets a hold of the belt and whips Barr and both brawl outside the ring as in true Mid-South style, we run out of time. The finish will supposedly be shown next week.

Interview with the Clown: Evidently we still have some time since
The Clown, not Borne, is ranting and raving about needing a partner for next week’s matches. His new partner is Oly Olsen and insinuates that there will be another falls count anywheretag match next week. We’ll see. He didn’t really say what was going tohappen.

ECW IN STATEN ISLAND 8/18/96 by BRETT SCHWAN
ECW made their Staten Island, NY debut at Sportsfest in front of approximately 850 fans. Sportsfest is a huge bubble which houses a skating rink, driving range, rock climbing, and kiddy playgrounds. The ring was set up in the driving range, on the artificial turf. Security was so tight that Sandman could not enter the ringside area with his beer. Due to the size of the “bubble”, the acoustics were horrible and much of what was said over the mic could not be heard.

The show opened when ring announcer, Bob Artese, introduced Tod Gordon. Tod came out to announce that Raven had foot surgery after he returned from Japan last week. Enter, Bill Alfonso. Bill gave Tod a ten count to leave the ring. As he reached ten, Gordon clotheslined him. The two men brawled for several minutes until the locker room cleared out. When the ring cleared out only Little and Big Guido remained. Little Guido announced that JT was “doing a duet with his mentor, Frank Sinatra, at Carnegie Hall and can’t be here”. Instead he introduced Kiss. Out came Stevie Stanley, Meanie Gene Simmons, Nova Frehley, and Pablo Criss. They did the Fargo strut, Meanie spit the mist, and they asked the crowd what song they wanted to hear. Then Sandman came out and proceeded to cane all the members of the band. Raven (on crutches with a cast) then came out, with Lori Fullington. Tod announced that the title match was going to be “right here, right now.” Stevie hit Tod with the Steviekick then got caned for his actions by Sandman.

Missy Hyatt walked down the aisle and threw Stevie back into the ring. The first match had begun. Sandman hit with his top rope legdrop. Meanie climbed to the top rope and as he went for the meaniesault, Sandman moved, causing Stevie to get hit. Sandman got the two count. Nova went to the top rope for a leg drop but again, Sandman moved and Stevie got nailed. Pablo the attempted to come in but Sandman suplexed him over the top rope and out of the ring. Raven then came in, nailed Sandman with his crutch and DDT’D him. Raven gets a two count. Sandman recovers and got his cane but Lori jumped on his back and put him in a sleeper. Missy jumped on Lori’s back and the two women rolled around on the mat for a few minutes. Stevie grabbed Missy and Lori caned her 4 times. Missy no sold it and grabbed the crutch. The women then had a duel with the crutch and cane. As Sandman grabbed Lori, Raven ran in with the belt. Sandman was hit in the head and pinned.

The next match saw Louie Spicoli take on Hack Meyers. As Hack was walking around ringside, he grabbed Joel Gertner and whipped him into the guard rail then smashed him with a chair. The match went back and forth for the first few minutes. Hack hit with his off the top rope knees to the back of the head but hurt his knee and couldn’t cover Louie. Louie the picked up Hack as if he were going for an airplane spin but instead fell sideways, onto Hack, for the pinfall.

Devon Storm was accompanied by Damian Kane and Lady Alexandra in his match against Buh Buh Ray Dudley. The crowd was really into the whole Dudley idea. Devon took the early control and both men brawled out of the ring. Devon tried to do a lot of his high flying moves but Buh Buh seemed to no sell a lot of them. Devon laid a chair on Buh Buh and went to the top rope for a moonsault. Buh Buh moved and then nailed Devon with the chair. Buh Buh hit the BuhBuhBomb on Devon. Damian ran in and got bombed next. Lady jumped in and as Buh Buh grabbed her, DVon nailed him with a chair to the head. Buh Buh grabbed the chair and hit DVon 5 times. Devon held BUh Buh down as Damian and DVon kept putting the boots to him. Big Dick came out and chokeslammed Damian and Devon. He then dared DVon to hit him but DVon left. BUh Buh hit the bomb again and pinned Devon.

Eliminator Kronus came to the ring alone for a singles match against Mikey Whipwreck. Both men exchanged a series of moves. Kronus suplexed Mikey of the top rope then hit the cartwheel, backflip, springboard elbow. Both men went outside the ring. Kronus went for a spin kick. Mikey ducked and Kronus hit the ring post instead. It seemed that every time the two men got into the ring, they immediately went back outside. At this point, a couple of fans got into a fight so the match slowed down until the melee was over. Mikey hit with a flying head scissors and caused Kronus to fall out of the ring. The finish of this great match came when Mikey hit a FRANKENMIKEY from the top rope. Saturn ran in and booted Mikey in the throat. They then gave Mikey Total Elimination.

Saturn remained in the ring for his match against Too Cold Scorpio. Scorpio insisted that the ring be swept out before he began the match. (This was due to all the artificial turf that made its way into the ring from Kronus’ back). This was also a great match. After each man took control for a few minutes, Scorpio was drop-kicked out of the ring. Saturn followed with a flying body press over the top rope. Scorpio clotheslined Saturn, got in the ring, and did his own flying body press onto Saturn, who was still outside. As they got back in the ring, Saturn nailed Scorpio with a springboard moonsault. They went back outside where Scorpio was able to gain the advantage. Both men got back in the ring. Scorpio hit with a powerbomb then a top rope legdrop for a two count. Scorpio hit with a moonsault for a two count followed by a top rope sunset flip for a two count. Scorpio tombstoned Saturn and hit with a one and a half from the top, for the pin. An excellent match by both men.

The next match was a tag match where Brian Lee and Stevie Richards took on Tommy Dreamer and Terry Gordy. Beulah was at ringside as was the entire Kiss crew and Patricia. Tommy immediately dropped Stevie onto the top rope, groin first. Dreamer hit with a DDT but Lee made the save. Lee and Dreamer battled outside. Lee snap suplexed Dreamer then hit him with a chair. Dreamer continued to take a beating courtesy of Lee until Nova ran in and held Dreamer. Pablo went for a drop-kick off the top, Tommy moved, and Nova got hit instead. Tommy ddt’d Pablo. Brian Lee chokeslammed Pablo over the top rope, out onto Nova. Terry finally tagged in and all four men were in the ring. Terry powerbombed Stevie for a two count. Terry and Tommy spike piledrove Stevie. Terry got the pin. Meanie and Patricia ran in. As Terry powerbombed Meanie, Tommy gave Patricia a piledriver. Lee then double chokeslammed both opponents before leaving the ring. After the match, Tommy got on the mic and said “Terry, Beulah we’ve been all around the world and Staten Island in hardcore.”

The next match was for the ECW TV Title. Before the match, Pitbull 1 told the crowd about his injury. He basically gave the same speech as he did at the Arena at the last show. Pitbull 2 waited in the ring as Joel Gertner introduced Shane Douglas and Francine. Pit took the early control with a lot of power moves. Pitbull put Shane in a sleeper. Francine ran in and clotheslined referee Pee Wee Moore. She kept choking Pee Wee then pulled a chain out of her top. She wrapped the chain around her hand and hit Pit 2, who seemed to feel nothing. Pitbull press slammed Shane and went after Francine. Shane grabbed the chain and nailed Pit2 from behind. Shane hit Pit with the belt across the head for a two count. Not even a DDT on the TV belt could keep Pit 2 down for a three count. Pit 2 press slammed Shane once more. Francine stopped the ref. from counting. Shane hit with the belly to belly but didn’t even get a one count. He hit with a belly to belly again and put his feet on the ropes to pin the Pitbull. Gertner entered the ring to announce the winner. As Pitbull went for Joel, Pee Wee got in the way and was superbombed. Now it was Joel’s turn. Unfortunately, unlike at the Arena, Joel was barely able to get to the second rope, let alone Pit 2’s shoulders. Pitbull 2 did his best attempt to superbomb Joel form that position.

The Samoan Gangsta Party came to the ring with Damian Kane. Sammy Slick was not able to make it so Big Daddy Small teamed with some other fat, Samoan guy. (The name was something like Daddy Smooth but the sound, as I said, was horrible.) The Gangstas ran in with a garbage can and the carnage began. All four men brawled out of the ring. New Jack threw the Samoan over the guard rail towards my section. Unfortunately, due to the huge crowd of people who had pushed their way in front of me, I didn’t see them coming. As they approached, I tried to get out of the way but tripped on a kid next to me. Needless to say, the Samoan tripped too and landed on my legs. New Jack continued to pummel the Samoan, as I lay face first on the artificial turf, legs being crushed by a 400 pound Samoan. Finally, back in the ring, Moustapha power slammed the Samoan and New Jack splashed him from the top, with a chair.

The final match of the evening had Sabu taking on Rob Van Dam. No words can describe the arsenal of moves these men use. Both men did their standard, high flying moves. Van Dam hit with a split leg moonsault for a two count. Both men continued to battle, now with a chair in the ring to assist some of their flying maneuvers. Sabu sat Rob on the top turnbuckle and followed him up there with a frankenSabu. Sabu set up a chair in front of the prone Van Dam. Sabu ran across the ring, jumped from the chair to the top rope and moonsaulted back over the chair, onto Van Dam for the pin.

LUCHA 8/18/96 by DOUG CORTI
E-Mail: jadcorti@artsu1.watstar.uwaterloo.ca
Last week’s Lucha broadcast was a repeat of the previous week’s, so there was no report.Fresh footage this week. The highlight being action to determine the 1996 Junior Grand Prix Champion. All the matches were one fall encounters. This action came from CMLL.

QUARTER-FINALS

Match 1 – FELINO vs. SHOCKER
Felino has a new outfit, with blue replacing the previous orange. Looks so appropriate for a cat. Shocker hit a moonsault of the second rope to the floor. The victory, however, went to Felino, as he hoisted Shocker onto his shoulders, then fell back. Bridge for the 1-2-3.

Match 2 – BESTIA SALVAGE vs. GRAN SASUKE
First time seeing Sasuke. He has a Ninja gimmick, with a costume a little like OCTAGON. Mat wrestling resulted in many 2 counts to open the match. Sasuke won when he held onto a Salvage body slam, and turned it into a small package.

Match 3 – DANDY vs. MASCARA MAGICA
Quick match. Dandy went for an atomic drop, but Magica was able to hook Dandy’s waist with his legs, and then rolled up Dandy to advance.

Match 4 – EL HIJO DE SANTO vs. GUERRERO DEL MUERTE
Muerte jumped Santo to start the match, but the announcer stayed in the ring to finish the intros. The match starts off brawling. Hijo de Santo gave Muerte a tope that knocked him back into the second row at ringside. The match re-entered the ring, and Muerte got nailed with a FrankendeSanto to give the victory to El Hijo de Santo.

SEMI-FINALS

Match 5 – Felino vs. Gran Sasuke
I am starting to like Sasuke. Hope to see more of him. He does a beautiful flip over the top rope onto Felino, both men hitting hard. Felino used the move that he used to win his quarter-final match, this time from the second rope, but only got a two count. End comes when Sasuke got Felino with a German suplex.

Match 6 – El Hijo de Santo vs. Mascara Magica
Another relatively short match. Santo got the win after hitting a tope on Magica, that knocked Magica 2 rows back into the ringside fans. (Repeat from the quarter-finals). Magica did not return to the ring, and Santo advanced via countout.

Finals

Match 7 – El Hijo de Santo vs. Gran Sasuke
The finals open up with some hold for hold mat wrestling. It then takes to the air, with a good FrankenSasuke for a two count. At this point, somehow the name of THAT HH GUY got mentioned. I am sure it was a comparison of their technical abilities. Cough. Ack. For the third match in a row, Santo hit a tope to the outside. Sasuke executed a moonsault off the top rope to Santo on the floor. Finally, Santo slaps Sasuke in the camel clutch, earning a submission victory.

Interview with El Hijo de Santo.

MATCH 8 – DAMIEN EL GUERRERO, GUERRERO MAYA & GUERRERO EL FUTURO vs. OLYMPUS, OLYMPICO and PINK and GRAY TECNICO (didn’t catch the last guy’s name)
This was joined in progress for the third fall. The rudos were able to eliminate Olympus, when Damien drove him into the knees of his partners. Damien then gave Olympus a senton to the head. But, Pink & Gray Tecnico made El Futuro submit to a variation of the scorpion death lock to give a victory to the tecnicos.

Match 8 – DR. WAGNER JR., APOLLO DANTES & KAHOZ vs. LIZMARK, ATLANTIS & LA FIERA
Well, with the previous match joined in progress, you might as well have the ending cut off of this one. We cut to a commercial break with the rudos beating the tar out of La Fiero, but return to the graphic announcing the start of the second fall. Only a few minutes of the second fall is shown before we cut away for . . .

An interview with TIGER MASK, done through his interpreter. This was in relation to the Grand Prix championship.

Match 9 – (AAA)PARKITA & ESPECTRITO 1 & 2 vs. SUPER MUNEQUITO, MINI FRESBEE & MASCARITA SAGRADA JR.
The first thing that strikes me is how small Sagrada Jr. was, even for a mini. His shoulders only reached the middle rope. His workrate more than made up for the lack of height. Parkita is good at comedy spots. Sagrada Jr. gave Parkita a spinning senton to the outside. In the ring, Fresbee, hit a moonsault on Espectrito 2 for the first fall. Second fall went to the rudos, when Parkita small packaged Munequito, and Espectrito 1 made Sagrada Jr. submit. He held him as if he was going to give him a splash mountain, but then Parkita held onto Sagrada’s legs. In the third fall, Sagrada Jr. hit a corkscrew dive on Espectrito 1 from the top rope to the outside. He flew from a height 3 times his own. Amazing. End comes when Munequito rolls up Espectrito 2.

WCW Saturday Night 8/17
WHAT YOU MISSED: A look at HULK HOGAN vs. RIC FLAIR at the CLASH . . . this show desperately needs a new opening and look . . . a look at HULK HOGAN showing off the NWO belt at the PPV . . . ROUGH & READY out to face EARL ROBERT EATON & SQUIRE DAVID TAYLOR: a phone call and I miss the ending of this one . . . a look at Flair vs. Hogan again . . . DUSTY RHODES says a new member of the NEW WORLD ORDER will appear this Monday night . . . THE FOUR HORSEMEN vs. HIGH VOLTAGE, RENEGADE & JOE GOMEZ: Gomez vs. MONGO first. Mongo learning simple power moves and a move or 2 off the 2nd rope. Needs to bulk up a bit if he’s going to fill the Lex Luger, Sid Vicious or even Paul Roma role. Benoit is just nuts. I’ve said it for years here — he is the next superstar. Even in the days with Eaton you could tell. Flair with a figure four on RAGE to win the match . . . Four Horsemen interview . . . NASTY BOYS vs. don’t know because Dusty was talking about NICK PATRICK for most of the match. 2 minutes in we hear it’s HARDWORK BOBBY WALKER & MARK STARR. Crowd loves the Nasties and they get the win . . . a look at NITRO highlights . . . an interview with COL. PARKER & SHERRI . . . STEINERS vs. HARLEM HEAT: same match that these two always put on until the Nasty Boys come, attack Rick Steiner, get rid of Scott Steiner and then get rid of one of heat and Sherri. Sherri apparently exposes herself on the fall. Ref. did not call it until the guys hit the ring (Dusty made a big point of it.) . . . NWO segment from “Rome, Italy” . . . JIM POWERS vs. THE GIANT: a chokeslam and it was over. Giant says “HOGAN, I am not going away” to the camera then goes to chat with MEAN GENE . . .

WWF CANADIAN MANIA8/17/96Joel Geraghty (cgeraght@icis.on.ca)
WHAT YOU MISSED: They did a split-screen showing the entrance of CRUSH at WRESTLEMANIA IX on one side and his entrance on last week’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW to show how different he looked . . . From RAW, SAVIO VEGA surrendered to CRUSH, who applied a full nelson, while CLARENCE MASON did commentary . . . From RAW, KEVIN KELLEY interviewed AHMED JOHNSON in his home about the kidney injury . . . TODD PETTENGILL says that there will be more comments from AHMED this week on WWF SUPERSTARS, so don’t miss it . . . From RAW, SKIP was manhandled by FAAROOQ ASAAD . . . SLAM JAM with DOK HENDRIX about next week’s WWF EX-PERIENCE at Toronto’s CNE. He says that the match between PSYCHO SID and VADER will be a Lumberjack Match, and the lumberjacks will be the Canadian Football League’s Toronto Argonauts . . . JIM ROSS delivered THE ROSS REPORT. He explains the rules for the MANKIND/UNDERTAKER Boiler Room Brawl are that the men will start in a boiler room and try to make their way to the ring to gain possession of the urn, which will be in the middle of the ring. His other topic is the GOLDUST/SABLE/MARLENA triangle, and ROSS says that things may become clearer at SUMMERSLAM . . . Footage from this past week’s press conference at WAYNE GRETZKY’S restaurant about the WWF EX-PERIENCE. JIM CORNETTE angered the Toronto Argonauts at the conference so that is why they will be the lumberjacks for the VADER/SID match on August 24 . . . Part One in a two-part series of a look at SHAWN MICHAELS on the set of BAYWATCH . . . SLAM JAM with DOK, who adds a “special bonus match” for next week’s EX-PERIENCE – JOSE LOTHARIO will face JIM CORNETTE in the ring . . . From RAW, SHAWN MICHAELS pinned THE SLAMMY AWARD WINNING OWEN HART and was then assaulted by THE MAN THEY CALL VADER . . . TODD showed what happened after RAW went off the air; JOSE LOTHARIO pulled SHAWN out of the ring before VADER could do anymore damage . . . Another look at SUNNY behind a screen trying to decide what to wear to the “Bikini Beach Blast-Off” at the FREE FOR ALL . . . The whole interview with BRET “HIT MAN” HART by MR. PERFECT . . . TODD says that also at the FREE FOR ALL, THE MIGHTY YOKOZUNA will battle STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN . . . He goes on to explain how he’ll have his feet in the pool and the whole thing is going to be a big beach party . . . !!!

ECCW AT THE VIEX by TODD HAMILTON
E-Mail: todd@nanaimo.ark.com
The ECCW (Extreme Canadian Championship Wrestling), recently held four mini-cards (I guess you could call them that) over a two day period at the VIEX (Vancouver Island Exhibition) in Nanaimo, BC at Beban Park. With a name like ECCW has and a lucha Libre wrestler, Singapore cane matches, a wrestler with a nickname of the shooter, and a wrestler who’s name was to be spelt Dudly, along with much more you kinda figure it’s a spin off from ECW even though it is a pretty pathetic one but hey it is live wrestling and is the only fed that comes to Nanaimo so you can’t complain :). Anyway the cards took place outside on the fair grounds and Bart Sawyer (USWA) wrestled for this fed.

Anyway here are some quick results (sorry I didn’t take notes other than the winners and losers) from the cards I attended that you may like to use for your newsletters.

I also took some pictures which I may use on a web page (if I ever get one).

Here are the results:

FRIDAY AT 1:00 – Oly “the shooter” Olsen pinned Crybaby Hueey in a diaper match . . . El Antorcha pinned Bulldog Bob Brown Jr. (AKA Stu Kemp the promoter and former Wrestling World columnist). . . The Iron Maiden pinned the Pink Power Ranger in a women’s match . . . ECCW Champion “The Olympian” Mike Rosselli and “Gorgeous” Michelle Starr (AKA Mike Starr from the last few Superstars tapings) battled to a double countout in a ECCW title match.

FRIDAY AT 7:00 – Crybaby Huey pinned Puff the Magic Dragon after a big splash . . . El Antorcha and the Pink Power Ranger beat Bulldog Bob Brown Jr. and the Iron Maiden by pinfall in a mixed tag match in which the women could wrestle the men . . . Michelle Starr pinned Mike Rosselli to win the ECCW title after he hit Rosselli with a foreign object.

SATURDAY AT 1:00 – Unfortunately I couldn’t make it to this card : ( (if that is unfortunate) however I do know that El Antorcha pinned Bulldog Bob Brown Jr. in one of the matches.

SATURDAY AT 7:00 – Puff the Magic Dragon and the Pink Power Ranger beat Crybaby Huey and the Iron Maiden after Huey accidentally splashed Maiden and the Power Ranger and Puff jumped on top for the pin. When could also wrestle women in this match . . . Bulldog Bob Brown won a best 2-of-3 falls match 2 falls to 1. Antorcha won the first fall in about 10 seconds after a legdrop, Brown the second after a missed aerial move by Antorcha and Brown the third after putting his feet on the ropes during the pin . . . Mike Rosselli pinned Michelle Starr to win the ECCW title in a Street Fight. Pinfalls counted anywhere although the action never left the ring and objects were placed in each of the four corners of the ring before the match. These included a plastic milk carton, a wooden carton, a baseball bat, and a steel chair. Rosselli won the match after ref. Gary Allen took a bump and Brown came down to the ring with a handful of salt (it was actually more like baby powder). While Starr was holding Rosselli Brown attempted to throw the salt in Rosselli’s eyes however of course Brown missed, hit Starr, and Rosselli pinned him to win the title.

Well those are the results. Please edit whatever and use it in your newsletter if you wish. There may be another ECCW card here in September and I’ll be going to the Victoria, BC WWF house show (we got third row tickets) so I’ll send you all the results of that. Since there also has been a Red Power Ranger in a fed that came here run partially by the same people I am guessing a match on one of the next cards will be Puff and the Pink Power Ranger vs. Barney and Sailor Moon :).

Well you all seem to have a fairly good knowledge of the sport and since the only TV broadcast’s I get are from the WWF I was wondering if you could help me with identifying the managers for these wrestlers and teams. I have a good idea who some of the managers are and that some don’t have a manager but I just wanted to check it over with you. If you know of any or all of the managers please let me know (this doesn’t need to go in your newsletter). Thanks in advance!

Sting, Eddie Guerrero, Shane Douglas, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Chris Benoit, Lex Luger, Sabu, Dean Malenko, Road Warriors, and Steiner Brothers.

Hope to hear back from you soon, bye for now!!

ON THE ROPES by JOE CROWE
E-Mail: j.crowe4@genie.com
Mix and match this week, a plethora of comments, if you will. Since I haven’t been around in awhile, I’ve got various and sundry pithy items to mention. Now that you’ve bought the setup, let’s just get to it, shall we?

I’m watching the latest Glacier promo right now. Maybe it’s really Eric Bischoff. That’d be the only way to make this thing interesting. MORTAL KOMBAT was big LAST year.

I’ve really got a kick out of wrestling interviews lately, primarily in WCW. The Giant has really gotten a mouth on him. He was just a big doofus until a few months ago, right around the time the Outsiders showed up. I think Kevin Nash (“I’m the s—, I tell ya”) gave him some pointers. Arn Anderson has always been a good talker, and Lord Regal has blossomed lately. Sting’s mike work has improved markedly since Hogan’s turn, but I especially enjoyed last week’s Nitro. “I have lived the LIFE in WCW!” Translated, that means “I have JOBBED for EVERYBODY!”

Mongo McMichael is much more enjoyable than I thought. He’s not a very good wrestler. Surprise! But he doesn’t have to be. He looks good standing there with his dark glasses, and he blows up, spitting and fuming in interviews.

Hog Wild was the first WCW PPV this YEAR which didn’t contain Macho Man Randy Savage lying in a pool of his own blood. He’s just an object of pity now. It’s useless to put him in match after match against Blue Bloods and Dungeon of Doomers when he’s just going to get ripped again when he makes it to a big match with his ex-wife’s blithering idiot. I think it’d be sweet for him to beat Hogan.

Speaking of Hogan, how do you put over a guy as a mega-heel when his first two major opponents are the other top heels in the fed? At no point in either of the two matches did fans rally to the side of Flair or the Giant. The only neat thing was the Giant hulking up. I thought we’d seen the end of the Hulk-out, but there it was again at the Clash. Where does he supposedly get it from now?

Criticism aside, the NWO angle remains the best and continually surprising angle in wrestling today. Hall and Nash came over partly because they couldn’t or didn’t want to wrestle full time anymore. Now they don’t have to blow hours busting up WCW’S jobbers. They can wrestle good matches at PPVS. and tape positively brilliant interview segments. I was very impressed with Nash’s SPARTACUS reference via the quote, “If I can’t have your love, I’ll take your hate!” Very appropriate when you think about it.

Remember a column I wrote awhile back, suggesting new hairstyles and makeovers for WCW? And then it happened. Not that WCW is reading my column, but there’s no evidence that they’re not, either. I’ll be happy to take credit for it. 🙂 Swapping up their weekend shows was a good idea, but let’s try to vary up the announcing jobs now. Give Mike Tenay a FULL TIME JOB. Add a woman, like, for instance, Woman. Better yet, give some of the wrestlers an hour on NITRO or SATURDAY NIGHT to shoot their mouths off. Letting the wrestlers do color is the only thing that the WWF has done well recently.

Speaking of the WWF, I don’t know how many people noticed, but the biggest waffle I have seen in wrestling in awhile was perpetrated just this week. On Monday Night, for some reason, Shawn Michaels wrestled the new superjobber Yokozuna. Except Yoko had been jobbing for heels, as recently as the night before. Cornette’s out there, bragging about getting Yoko back in his stable, but of course Shawn beats him good. The end. Yoko’s a bad guy again, but destined now to lose to the good guys all the time.

But then on WWF MANIA, the Unshushable Todd shows us after-match footage of Yoko giving a high five and a manly hug to Shawn. He’s still a good guy. What?! They couldn’t show 4 extra seconds of this on RAW? No, they just DIDN’T.

Don’t get me started about “Farooq Asaad.” Maybe Jerry Lawler’s “Ron Simmons” mention when he first appeared was Jerry’s unsubtle hint to Vince that he shouldn’t change his name to a jingoist tongue twister. Meanwhile, Sunny’s other preoccupation, the Smoking Gunns, defeat ALL the other WWF tag teams at SS. What this means is that they have no more competition. Is he even looking for more teams? He needs to. He could always combine two of his freshly-minted cartoon jobbers. While Eric sits on no fewer than TEN tag teams, and he concentrates on giving title angles only to teams who’ve already held the belts a zillion times.

Next time, less rambling and more substance. Or maybe not.

THE SUPER BOMB by Tom Robson (E-mail: TRobson724@aol.com)
All right, Summerslam has come and gone. Up next is In Your House 10: Mind Games. I guess that now would be a good a time as any to give you my take on the upcoming event. I have more interest in this than most, because I will be attending it live in Philadelphia (anyone else that is, e-mail me and maybe we can meet for a few minutes at the event)As you all would like to forget, the last time the WWF brought a pay-per-view to Philadelphia, it had the potential to be one of the best King of the Rings ever. A pathetic tag team main event, but then there was Bret Hart against Jerry Lawler, and an 8 man field that included Shawn Michaels, Kama, Yokozuna, The Undertaker and Razor Ramon. We all know what happened, so I won’t go into any more detail than to say that the card SUCKED!!!

Then I heard that the main event for IYH would be Shawn Michaels and
Jose Lothario against Vader and Jim Cornette (this of course after I had bought tickets). Well, for once, thank God that Michaels has a huge ego, since he reportedly refused to work a main event match with Cornette. Now, we have Michaels battling Mankind in the main event. No mystery about this match. Michaels will win after Undertaker gets involved, setting up the final UT/Mankind match in October. However, I expect that this match could be really good. Now I HATE Shawn Michaels, but I have to say that he is possibly one of the most talented WWF Champions in quite a while. Hopefully, Vinnie Mac will let Cactus Jack come out of Mankind and turn this into an ECW-style brawl, with Michaels displaying his high-flying ability in several places. Hopefully.

Then there’s The Undertaker battling GoldDust, AGAIN. No wait, this is a “Final Curtain” match. It can only end via pinfall. Who cares? Why must we be forced to endure GoldDust. Like I’ve said before, people are just getting bored with the gimmick now. ECW chant possibility #1.

How about Jim Cornette vs. Jose Lothario. A 400 pound manager against a 62 year-old trainer. ECW chant possibility #2.

The Smoking Gunns against Owen Hart and The British Bulldog. YES!!! Hopefully this is where Owen and Davey Boy will get the tag belts, and this should be a good match, too. Gunns are underrated, although they ain’t The Midnight Express. Hart and Bulldog have good skills, and will make good champions. Also, if they get the belts, it will make for an interesting situation with Sunny, as she always manages the tag champions. Could we see Owen and Bulldog dump Cornette? It’s a possibility . . .

Faarooq Asaad will battle Marc Mero, in what hopefully WON’T be the IC title tournament finals. Actually, chances are it will be a semi-final match. Bad match-up.

Dark matches will allow us to be the first ones to see Barry Windham’s return, I believe. Can’t wait to see what kind of shape he’s in.

All in all, it could be really good, if everything goes perfectly. It could also be worse than KOTR. It all will depend on whether Cornette has been fired as booker by then. (Please be reading this WWF!!!)

Big Al’s Viewpoint
E-Mail Ogres@aol.com
I have read recently that Bret “Hitman” Hart has received yet another offer (assuming he has received offers before) from WCW. Purportedly, this one not only includes a huge pile of cash, which he evidently doesn’t need, but also a provision for a 3 Movie deal, which is something he seems to want. From what I read, he is seriously considering this latest offer.

Although I am a Hitman fan, I can certainly understand those who have called him a spoilsport or whatever, for saying that he might not return to the ring because of the direction of wrestling nowadays. Up to now, rather than consider him a malcontent, I would have said that whether you agreed with him or not, if he didn’t like the way the WWF is going (& he truly didn’t), he has not told them to fix it to his liking before he would come back, but rather that he simply had no interest in being associated with the current philosophy. To me, that is not ego, it is integrity. In the same vein, he has said publicly that he has no desire to go to WCW because he would consider it a step down. HOWEVER, if he were to take this offer from WCW, no matter what is involved, then everything that he has claimed to stand for up to now is BS. I am of the old school when it comes to athletes’ loyalties, whether it be baseball, football, or whatever. I do not believe in “taking the money & run”, but I am probably in the minority. It would be a d@mn shame if Bret Hart becomes no more than a free agent whore; only interested in the short term gain vs. the long term memories of the fans who have supported him. We as fans are fond of saying that the wrestlers make the organizations. That is true, but only a fool would think that the Hitman, or most other wrestlers, would ever gain the popularity, exposure, and subsequent financial gains that they enjoy without the backing of a major organization. It works both ways. Hopefully, he will stay with WWF if he returns at all, which, as far as I’m concerned, is where he belongs.

Thank you for your time.

THE RIGHT VIEW by Jim Sondergeld
E-Mail: JSondergel@aol.com
The WWF’S year rolls on. What began with the Royal Fumble, and shuffled desultorously through MuscleMania and King of the Bathtub Ring, with all manner of NIMHS (Not In MY House!) sprinkled in-between, now arrives at DumberSlam. And though it was a struggle, I still kept my commitment to watch this stiff AND analyze it impartially. Man, I am earning this.

OWEN HART pinned SAVIO VEGA — I knew that Mr. “Blue Blazer” had fallen a long way since his KOTR win and his World title battles with brother Bret a couple of years back, but I had no idea he had been assigned the “Cowboy” Bob Orton chair at the McMahon Institute for Advanced Public Humiliation. The never-healing-forearm-in-a-cast gag redefines the adjective “elderly.” It’s a shame, because Hart is a good performer, and this bout with Vega would have been a “B”-quality match without it. I think it’s time Owen turned face again. GRADE: C.

THE SMOKELESS GUNNS defeated THE GODWINNS, NUDIEDONNAS, and STALE ROCKERS — Imagine a quadrangle WCW tag-team match between Rough & Ready, the American Snails, the Rock & Roll Express, and a jobber team (WCW has no equivalent to the Godwinns, thank God). Would anybody watch it?

There you have the problem with this encounter. Vincie stupidly showcased his entire sorry tag-team division in one hugely forgettable match. It was made even more pointless by the quick elimination of the Nudies and Rockers, leaving the Gunns to slop it out with the hillbillies, as they have been for months. Why even include the other two duos?

Even Tammy “Sunny” Fytch taking it all off in the middle of the ring wouldn’t have saved this dog. GRADE: D.

SID VICIOUS pinned DAVEYBOY SMITH — “Psycho” Sid is back as a good guy. Why he’s back as a good guy is anybody’s guess, because he’s always been more entertaining as a heel. At any rate, he’s added a chokeslam to his first-rate powerbomb. But it will never make anybody forget the Giant’s chokeslam, which is the best in the sport. Sid just lifts his opponent and lets go instead of driving them into the mat. Kind of passé`, really.

The only question is with which face will he hook up and later betray in yet another heel turn. GRADE: B.

DUSTIN RHODES pinned MARK MERO — Watching this match-up I couldn’t help lamenting the fact that it was taking place in the WWF, muffled by all of McMahon’s contrived nonsense, instead of WCW, where they could have simply wrestled. Rhodes especially is being retarded by this dumb-@ss “GoldDust” gimmick from displaying virtually any of his wrestling talents. Mero is not, but he still had to job for Rhodes. Truly a shame.

I did make note that McMahon appears to be trying to tone down GoldDust’s previously blatant homosexual bent. Now `dust supposedly has eyes for Mero’s manager, Sable. Big deal; so now GoldDust is BI instead of strictly Homo? This is an improvement?

Mero introduced a spectacular reverse top-rope moonsault called “the wild thing.” If only this could have been the finisher. GRADE: C.

JERRY LAWLER pinned JAKE ROBERTS — There are effective ways of generating heel heat. Then there is Jerry Lawler’s way. He’d do himself a huge favor by spending some extended time with Bobby Heenan and learning from the master, because what Lawler did before this match was not insulting, not degrading, not mendacious, and not infuriating — it was boring.

Just like at KOTR, Lawler came to the ring first, and just like at KOTR, he picked up the microphone and went on a caustic ten minute stand-up routine that will never make anybody forget Don Rickles. Aside from the Cleveland Browns jersey, and the mention of Art Modell, Lawler spent the whole riff making fun of Jake Roberts’ alcohol problem. Which would have been passable if Roberts had then run out and DDT’d Lawler through the Gund Arena floor. But no! Lawler knocked out Roberts with a beer bottle, and then poured booze down his throat. Awwww, poor Jake! What a pathetic wretch Little Mac is making you portray.

And poor us, because this means an extended feud between these two, which means more of this kind of monotonous drivel. And you anti-WCW types complain about lack of action in Hulk Hogan’s matches? GRADE: D.

CACTUS JACK defeated THE UNDERTAKER — Ah, another mainstream federation attempt at an “extreme” match. I remember how the main event at WCW Uncensored was hooted and laughed at; no less reviling a greeting should be given this “Boiler room Brawl.”

Why? Because these matches can and will NEVER live up to their billing. Think of it; if two guys like Jack and Undertaker were REALLY fighting in a boiler room, would they settle for just running each other into doors and beating each other’s backs with pipes? H3ll no!

Why, I can almost call the action spontaneously: the two behemoths warm up by throwing each other against walls. Then Jack entangles UT’s arm in the gears of a huge grinding machine and tears it off at the elbow. Blood fountains! Then UT takes an ax and hacks Jack’s shoulder to a bloody ruin. Then Jack throws UT off a catwalk, caves in his skull with a big steel crossbeam, and impales him with a bayonet. But UT still gets up! He shoves a live hand grenade down Jack’s shorts, which explodes. Then, in the climax of the match, UT musters his last ounce of strength and hurls Jack’s dying carcass into a white-hot smelter of molten steel. Undertaker wins!

Instead we had to settle for Paul Bearer switching sides, and a quartet of cowled monks carrying out UT’s “corpse.” Which, naturally, “resurrected” the next night on Raw. Forgive me if my veins were not coursing with adrenaline rush. GRADE: C.

SHAWN MICHEALS pinned BIG VAN VADER — Anybody who believes this outcome stand on your head.

With each passing day Shawn Michaels becomes more like a young Ric Flair. He’s even learned the out-of-control turnbuckle backflip. But, more importantly, he’s becoming like Flair in the clout he has with his employer, which guarantees that he’ll hold the WWF belt for as long as he wants it.

You have to wonder what Vader thinks of all this. His WWF tenure has followed the same path as his last year and a half in WCW: cooling his heels in pointless big man feuds, followed by World title shots he is not allowed to win. At least with WCW, though, Vader’s losses to Hulk Hogan were somewhat believable — and Vader never had to lose by pinfall. Not so in McMahonland.

Vader got to employ all his trademark power moves, but he also had to do a lot of selling to Michaels’ acrobatics. Still, at the end Vader was in control, but only for the ultimate selling job.

Vader appeared to win by countout after a devastated Michaels fell through the ropes. Then Jim Cornette intervened and goaded Michaels back into the ring. Then Vader won by disqualification. That wasn’t good enough for Cornette, either. It almost seemed as though this was the only title shot Vader was going to get.

So, naturally, after powerbombing Michaels (which has always been Vader’s finishing maneuver), Vader had to do one better by adding a moonsault — which he, naturally, missed. Then Micheals executed, naturally, the same move and scored the pin. The crowd goes wild!

What a bunch of marks. In the real world a big man always beats a little man, and there are sound arguments to be made to depict that reality in the “sports entertainment” field as well. I was rooting for Vader the whole time, all the while knowing that it wasn’t going to happen.

Still, as much as I hate to admit it, it was a tremendous show.
GRADE: A.

OTHER NOTES — Mark “Apartment Complex” Henry of Atlanta Olympic fame made his pre-advertised WWF debut and immediately befriended Jake Roberts. There’s a possible Roberts heel turn, though McMahon is making such a goob out of him that that probably won’t happen . . . Ron Simmons, once one of the most dignified men in the business, has debased himself. Rather than simply being billed as himself, Simmons has donned the identity of “Baruch Asaad,” a quasi-gladiator character complete with broadsword and buckler. Which, of course, negates the WWF’S signing him in the first place. Instead of adding a top-flight athlete to his troupe, Little Mac has created another fool . . . A fool who was used as a gimmick to get the Intercontinental title away from Ahmed Johnson, who was used to get the I-C belt away from Dustin Rhodes. Now it’s been held up and will be parceled to the winner of a “tournament.” Pity I can only stomach the WWF in small, widely-spaced doses, or I might have stuck around to find out how this “tourney” turned out.

OVERALL PPV GRADE: C.

ADDENDUM: In Squared Circle Times #7, Tom Robson wrote the following: “Mr. Sondergeld is a blowhard of no actual intelligence. He uses his articles as a forum to blast my Hulk Hogan Haters Klub and its readers without even knowing anything about us individually. He states that I don’t have anything better to do with my time without really knowing what my hectic schedule is. Well, Mr. Sondergeld, f— you!”

Mr. Robson’s readers should know that he initially responded to those aforementioned articles via e-mail, and in far more civil a manner. We had what I took to be a polite discussion in which we clarified our respective opinions of the “Hulkster” and found some common ground between us. He closed his last message thusly: “Hope you didn’t take this as some sort of start of a flame war.” And then came that very war — not man to man, but publicly, for all to see.

Tommy, your actions remind me of what Dusty Rhodes said of Arn Anderson a couple of years back after the “Enforcer” had double-crossed son and future cross-dresser Dustin: you’re a walk-behinder, a sneak, a coward. Also narrow-minded, intolerant, and immature; you can’t take even a little criticism, the slightest challenge. And your best riposte is to call me a “blowhard” and verbally flip me the bird? Add empty-headed to the list as well.

Thomas R. Robson, the Connie Chung of wrestling journalism. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

OUT FOR THE COUNT by RUSSELL J. SMITH
E-MAIL: jmsmith@online.rednet.co.uk
I was disappointed with the SUMMERSLAM PPV. The matches were far from interesting. SAVIO VEGA versus OWEN HART is not worthy of ever being shown on PPV again!!! Also, the Four Way Dance was a total disaster and was one of the worst tag matches I have ever seen!!! The Boiler Room Brawl was not a very good match either until MANKIND and THE UNDERTAKER left the Boiler Room and went to ringside.

I was glad to see the WWF go through on the PAUL BEARER turn. It was time to break up PAUL BEARER and THE UNDERTAKER. Having PAUL BEARER manage MANKIND also gives MANKIND more of a legitimate push as he will face SHAWN MICHAELS for the WWF TITLE at the IN YOUR HOUSE 10 PPV next month. You can look for some sort of alliance of wrestlers with PAUL BEARER. There have been rumors that THE HEADHUNTERS will return to the WWF and be managed by PAUL BEARER. The SHAWN MICHAELS versus VADER match was a good match and VADER did not look bad in losing his chance to win the WWF TITLE. The MICHAELS versus MANKIND Match at IN YOUR HOUSE 10 in Philadelphia will be interesting because there will probably be more fans cheering for MANKIND than MICHAELS because of CACTUS JACK’S ties with ECW.

The WWF is planning on running a weekly Saturday Night PPV starting in September. The price for the PPVS will probably start at $9.95. I like the idea, as long as the WWF puts out good matches and storylines on these mini-PPVS. This is a good way for the WWF to draw more money and interest from the wrestling public. Plus, the WWF is trying to beat WCW to the punch with these mini-PPVS.

The WWF is also making a smart move by showing a RAW on Friday, September the 6th. The US OPEN Tennis Tournament usually preempts the RAW Show on the first Monday in September. With the competition at its most heated with WCW, the WWF could not afford to not be on television in prime time as they did last year and thus MONDAY NIGHT NITRO was able to get a jump start on the prime time television waves.

There is speculation that RAW may move to Friday Nights to make it more of a lead-in for the Saturday Night PPVS that the WWF will run. This would be nice if the shows are live. If the RAW Shows are going to still be taped, then there is no sense in moving RAW to Friday Nights because there will be less of an audience on Friday Nights than on Monday Nights. The only way that a Friday Night RAW could succeed if the show were live each week.

I look for DAVEY BOY SMITH to turn face soon. There is not really much else that the WWF can do with a heel SMITH. Look for more friction in CAMP CORNETTE and look for it to boil over at the next IN YOUR HOUSE PPV. Look for BULLDOG to go off with CLARENCE MASON into a feud against CAMP CORNETTE.

I do not want MARC MERO to win the IC TITLE. Why should MERO get the IC TITLE when wrestlers like SID and STEVE AUSTIN have achieved more success in the WWF recently. MERO has been nothing more than a glorified jobber over the past several months. I would like to see either AUSTIN or SID get the IC TITLE. The problem is that with a AUSTIN-HART feud impending and SID being occupied with VADER, neither AUSTIN nor SID will get the IC TITLE. It looks like the door is open for MERO and even for a HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY to hold the IC TITLE.

DAVE’S WORLD by DAVE WHITAKER
E-Mail: onyx@aol.com
Hi again kids. In one of my previous columns, once again the wrong e-mail address for me was listed. I apologize for that, since I should be able to type it myself, if I were not a slob. So, I’m going to remember to start doing that, in order to avoid confusion.

Clash of the Champions was dull. No really exciting events to talk about. It seemed to be filled with screwjob endings and bad booking again. This when WCW could me making major headway with the NWO angle.

We’ve already seen a million times Hall and Nash come out and attack. We’ve already seen that HH guy do what he does best, which is be egotistical, self-centered, no jobbing, balding, premodonna as a part of the NWO.

My point is that WCW’S got to do something exciting again with the angle. I’m talking maybe another all-out “assault” on all of WCW or something. Maybe bring in someone unexpected to join. I mean, it’s obvious now that Sean Waltman will be of little use until he can clear up his contract controversy.

Also, they are totally blowing the thing with Nick Patrick. Patrick has always been in NWA/WCW. Also, it makes no sense to have him bought off, since the man who’s gimmick it’d be to do that won’t be in for a couple of more weeks.

The WWF is just like a veteran softball team. If you give them a chance to come back, and stop playing your game, they will come back and hit you hard. WCW should remember this when they go to figure what they’ll do next with the angle.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

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FINE PRINT & DISCLAIMERS: The Ring Report TV Update is (c) 1996 Mad Dog Bytes Computers. All names, events, etc., are trademarks of their respective leagues. Mad Dog Bytes Computes puts out this report as a free publication, put out by fans for fans, and if your federation has a problem with being carried — please contact me immediately at maddogjmf@aol.com. Mad Dog Bytes Computers is not responsible for the opinions or claims of our columnists, all columns are the responsibility of the columnists and if you have an issue with the columnist please e-mail them directly. While The Ring Report is (c) 1996 Mad Dog Bytes Computers we do grant permission for you to reprint this on e-mail lists or in physical form in it’s entirety as long as no money is made off of the reprints and the issue is reprinted intact with all proper attributions to the sources of the reports. CactusB says he inspired the song “the Macarena” see him perform it, and other frightening things, at http://www.cybrsports.com/candt
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