The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #14, Sept. 30, 1997

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The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #14, Sept. 30, 1997
(“Look Ma, no brain!”)
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WCW MONDAY NITRO 9/29/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: NITRO GIRLS started things . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. BUFF BAGWELL: RAVEN sitting in the crowd with STEVIE RICHARDS right behind him. Ref. bump, leaves DDP to Bagwell and VINCENT. DDP gets the Diamond Cutter on Vincent then on Bagwell. Ref. wakes up for the 123 on Bagwell. DDP exits through the crowd, getting in Raven’s face before leaving . . . a segment on LUCHA LIBRE wrestling . . . REY MISTERIO JR. vs. EDDY GUERRERO (masked): Guerrero attacks Misterio before the match and takes the mask that Misterio was going to give to a fan. Misterio wins with a roll up and unmasks Guerrero . . . THE GIANT tells MEAN GENE OKERLUND what he’s going to do to CURT HENNIG on behalf of WCW, STING is in the crowd as we’re heading to commercial . . . BILL GOLDBERG vs. THE BARBARIAN: Goldberg gets the win. Goldberg is with Gene Okerlund after the match but doesn’t say anything and knocks the camera away . . . Okerlund brings in LARRY ZBYSZKO. Zbyszko says he’ll be impartial during his refereeing at Halloween Havock . . . more NITRO GIRLS . . . TONY SCHIAVANE says that there will be an announcement about RIC FLAIR . . . JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. DISCO INFERNO — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: ALEX WRIGHT comes out to the entrance way. MZ. JACKIE clears him off an interferes in the match to get Disco the win . . . RANDY SAVAGE tries to call out STING. Sting doesn’t come . . . JEFF JARRETT vs. MONGO: Jarrett with the roll up win . . . even more NITRO GIRLS . . . SCOTT HALL & SYXX comes out. Hall is on crutches. They babble. Hall says he’ll crawl to Las Vegas if he has to in order to get LEX LUGER . . . SYXX vs. CHRIS JERICHO: SCOTT HAL interferes, Syxx gets Jericho in the Buzz Killer. Hall goes after ref. SCOTT DICKENSON. LARRY ZBYSZKO gets in the ring and gets Jericho out of the Buzzkiller. LEX LUGER joins him and the NWO guys run off . . . RIC FLAIR on the phone. Flair thanks CURT HENNIG for giving him a wake up call. He says that he was complacent and that he was stupid. He says once the stitches are out and once he’s cleared, he’ll be back to get Hennig. He says he’s disbanding the FOUR HORSEMEN for a grace period because when he gets back he’s going to do something illegal to the NWO . . . a NITRO PARTY video . . . NWO ERIC in the ring. He babbles . . . WRATH vs. LEX LUGER: word from the back that Mongo and Jeff Jarrett are brawling in the back and that they’ll have a match at Halloween Havock. Luger wins with a torture wrack . . . more NITRO GIRLS . . . THE GIANT vs. CURT HENNIG: NWO ERIC replaces BOBBY HEENAN. Giant wins by DQ when he’s chokeslammed Hennig and goes for the pin and the NWO interferes. Giant takes on 6 guys until SCOTT NORTON clocks him with the United States Title belt. STING with a baseball makes the save. Sting drops the bat and takes on everyone . . .

WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 9/27/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: BILLY KIDMAN fell to REY MISTERIO JR. KONNAN attacked both guys after the match then but Rey fought him off . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE over MARK STARR . . . a look at highlights from WCW MONDAY NITRO . . . YUGI NAKATA fell to DEAN MALENKO . . . a look at RODDY PIPER vs. HOLLYWOOD HOGAN . . . HARLEM HEAT over WRATH & MORTIS . . . words from HOLLYWOOD HOGAN . . .

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 9/27/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: opens with BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. SPIKE DUDLEY: good match, dominated by Bigelow that included Spike body surfing in this Bam Bam win . . . JOEY STYLES announces that the next 3 weeks of TV for ECW will be from the Sept. 20 ECW show . . . Joey goes on to dis LANCE WRIGHT. Lance showed up at the arena in TAZ colors and made a big stink that Taz wasn’t fired yet. Taz ended up beating the heck out of him in the parking lot . . . the FBI vs. BALLS MAHONEY & AXL ROTTEN: Guido pins Balls in the best match I’ve seen between the two. The match had to be restarted after Guido was pinned with his foot on the ropes. After the match ref. JEFF MAHONEY got on the microphone and dissed Balls & Axl and said he was the best ref. in the United States. Theo other refs. calmed him down but he continues then gets shoved down by one . . .  a look at THE GREAT SASUKE . . . THE DUDLEYS vs. NEW JACK & JOHN KRONUS — ECW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: JOEL GERTNER’S rant on the Microphone goes on much too long. Match is a total brawl in and mostly outside the ring. Every sort of weapon you can imagine. Kronus pins DVON DUDLEY after a 450 splash . ..

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW/WAR ZONE 9/22/97
RAW WHAT YOU MISSED: AHMED JOHNSON vs. ROCKY MIAVIA — WWF IC TITLE TOURNEY ROUND 1: Ahmed gets a clean victory to advance . . . STEVE AUSTIN came out of the crowd in the upper deck. He said someone will get their butt kicked tonight . . . a look at SHAWN MICHAELS winning the WWF EUROPEAN TITLE from THE BRITISH BULLDOG at ONE NIGHT . . . THE UNDERTAKER did an interview, of course, SHAWN MICHAELS interrupts it . . . SUNNY introduces THE LEGION OF DOOM for their match with FAROOQ & KAMA: DQ of THE NATION OF DOMINATION when DLO BROWN & ROCKY MIAVIA attack the LOD. AHMED JOHNSON tried to make the save but was taken out. Refs. and officials had to clear the ring . . . BRIAN PILLMAN vs. OWEN HART — WWF IC TITLE TOURNIE ROUND 1: Pillman claims he’s hurt. COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER comes out and wants to see Pillman’s x-rays and Doctor’s report. He threw a microphone at Pillman and Pillman caught it with his “bad” hand. Slaughter then declared that the match will go on. Marlena gets involved and Owen takes it out on Pillman. GOLDDUST interferes and attacks Owen Hart, resulting in a DQ of Pillman. Pillman takes MARLENA to the dressing room and Golddust chases him off. Owen gets on the microphone and dedicates the win to BRET HART. STEVE AUSTIN charges the ring and Owen runs off. VINCE MCMAHON gets in the ring and tries to explain to Austin why he can’t wrestle. He says that everyone cares about Austin and that he has to work within the system. Austin says he’ll work within the system and he appreciates that Vince cares. They says that Vince can kiss his butt then stone cold stunners Vince before the New York City Police department put him in handcuffs and take him off . . .

WAR ZONE WHAT YOU MISSED: HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY vs. DUDE LOVE — falls count everywhere: Love appears on the TITANTRON. Dude says that falls count everywhere isn’t his bag so MANKIND comes on screen and talks to him but says there’s someone who is willing to do worse things than he is and CACTUS JACK is alive: wild match with chairs, garbage cans and mops used as weapons. Cactus Jack pins Hunter on the floor . . . another look at SHAWN MICHAELS winning the WWF EUROPEAN TITLE from DAVEY BOY SMITH . . . SHAWN MICHAELS comes out with a live microphone. He calls out the Undertaker. The Undertaker comes out and attacks him but is attacked (yet again), by HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY, RICK RUDE & CHYNA. Undie recovers and chases them off with the chair . . . BRET HART vs. GOLDDUST — NON-TITLE MATCH: before the match Hart says he doesn’t give a darn who wins between Michaels and Undertaker, as it doesn’t matter since he faces the winner at Survivor Series. Hart wins the match with the Sharpshooter. SHAWN MICHAELS, RICK RUDE, CHYNA & HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY attack. JIM NIEDHART, OWEN HART & DAVEY BOY SMITH make the save. THE UNDERTAKER comes out and clears the ring of everyone but Michaels & Hart then chokeslams them both as we end the show . . .

WCW MONDAY NITRO 9/22/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: KIMBERLY & THE NITRO GIRLS open the show . . . ERIC BISCHOFF interrupts the opening with the commentators, ignoring his restraining order against LARRY ZYBSZKO, NWO Eric came out and got in the face of Zybszko and said that if he ever interfered in a NWO match again he’d pay a dear price. Larry Zybszko shows footage of THE OUTSIDERS putting Bischoff through a table from last year. Bischoff runs off during the video . . . SILVER KING vs. REY MISTERIO JR.: EDDY GUERRERO comes out to ringside during the match, allowing Silver King to get some shots in, however Misterio wins. Guerrero comes up on the ring apron with his WCW Cruiserweight title but gets down off of it only to be somersault splashed by Misterio. Misterio picks up the Cruiserweight belt and lays it over Guerrero before walking away . . . HUGH MORRUS vs. BILL GOLDBERG: Goldberg gets the upset win over Morrus . . . GENE OKERLUND interviews Goldberg. Goldberg looks at Okerlund and walks off . . . more NITRO GIRLS . . . a look back at LARRY ZYBSZKO getting involved in RANDY SAVAGE & SCOTT HALL vs. LEX LUGER & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE at FALL BRAWL . . . DISCO INFERNO vs. ALEX WRIGHT — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: DISCO WINS! DISCO WINS! Both men collided with cross body blocks on each other and Disco
ends up pinning Wright for the WCW WORLD TITLE . . . MS. JACKIE comes out with GENE OKERLUND. She says she wants to talk to Disco. She says everyone knows why he was gone for 6 months. He says don’t go there. Jackie challenges him to a match and not to push it before he walks off . . . a NWO promo replays the NWO Parody of ARN ANDERSON . . . SCOTT HALL w/SYXX apparently comes out for a match. Hall asks if the people came to see WCW or NWO. Louder cheers for WCW, surprisingly. Hall says it’s a fluke that Lex Luger pinned him. He starts dissing Larry Zybszko. Hall says he wants Luger right now. Luger doesn’t come out. Hall wants Zybszko. Zybszko comes to the ring and says he’ll do it if Syxx leaves. Hall says that Zybszko is no stuff and all bluff then orders him away. Zybszko goes back to his seat. HECTOR GARZA becomes the opponent for Hall. Hall abuses ref. MARK CURTIS. While he’s abusing Curtis, Garza rolls up Hall for a pinfall. After the match Hall OUTSIDERS EDGES Garza then dot the same to Curtis . . . LA PARKA, PSYCHOSIS, VILLANO IV & IV vs. THE ULTIMO DRAGON, EL CYCLOPE, LIZMARK JR. & JUVENTUD GUERRERA: Juventud pins La Parka . . . RODDY PIPER in the ring. He announces that SCOTT HALL was right that LARRY ZYBSZKO wasn’t an official ref. at WAR GAMES so at Halloween Havock it’s going to be Luger vs. Hall with Larry Zybszko as special ref. He says that the WCW wants to ban cage matches. He says they’re barbaric and that’s why he’ll face HOLLYWOOD HOGAN in a cage match . . . THE STEINERS vs. THE FACES OF FEAR: MENG pinned RICK STEINER with the tongan death grip . . . NWO ERIC & HOLLYWOOD HOGAN come out and babble . . . RANDY SAVAGE w/Mz. ELIZABETH vs. STEVIE RICHARDS: Before the match Savage says he wants Elizabeth to walk down the isle with CURT HENNIG later. Match goes on and Savage gets in the face of RAVEN at ringside. Savage late dedicates his top rope elbow and pin of Richards to Raven. Raven comes off the guardrail. Raven pulls up his knee pads and stares at Savage. Savage shoves down the ref. and gets in a stare down with Raven. Raven takes Richards by the hair, DDTS him, Savage leaves and Raven is left sitting in the ring . . . HARLEM HEAT vs. KONNAN & SCOTT NORTON: MZ. JACKIE leads out BOOKER T, but there’s no STEVIE RAY. Booker T says that Stevie Ray pulled his Achilleas Tendon and is out and he’ll face one of the NWO guys one on one. Norton says that there will be no deals and it’ll be a 2 on 1 match. Booker T wins by DQ when VINCENT interferes . . . JEFF JARRETT vs. CURT HENNIG — WCW U.S. TITLE: Elizabeth distracts the ref. while Jarrett has Hennig in a figure four. Hennig gets the Hennig-plex on Jarrett for the pin. THE NWO come out to pose in the ring while attacking Jarrett. THE GIANT comes to the ring and everyone scatters . . .

WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING 9/21/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look back at THE HEADBANGERS vs. BRET HART & DAVEY BOY SMITH from last Monday night . . . a look at STEVE AUSTIN attacking JERRY LAWLER on RAW . . . a replay of KEN SHAMROCK vs. FAROOQ from RAW . . . comments from DEL WILKES, THE PATRIOT . . . a look at THE PATRIOT vs. OWEN HART from RAW . . . a look at the whole MARLENA/BRIAN PILLMAN situation and Pillman vs. DUDE LOVE from RAW . . . the SHAWN MICHAELS interview from RAW . . . STAR TREKS took us out . . .

WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 9/20/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: RAY TRAYLOR vs. VINCENT: easy win for Traylor . . . HARDWORK BOBBY WALKER over TREVOR ALLEN . . . THE ULTIMO DRAGON vs. ALEX WRIGHT — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: goes to time limit draw . . . THE STEINERS vs. BUFF BAGWELL & SCOTT NORTON: RAY TRAYLOR knocked Bagwell off the top rope into a powerslam pin . . .

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 9/19/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: the show opened with SHANE DOUGLAS & FRANCINE proclaiming that SHANE is the best . . . a look at ECW honoring TERRY FUNK and giving him a “lifetime heavyweight champion of the world” belt . . . JOEL GERTNER introduces BIG DICK DUDLEY for his match with KRONUS. Turns into a 3 on 1 on Kronus and NEW JACK makes the save . . . JOEY STYLES says that Kronus and New Jack could be the best violent tag team in history . . . JERRY LYNN vs. CHRIS CANDIDO: Candido wins with a double underhook suplex . . . JOEY STYLES back with a look at SABU vs. THE SANDMAN . . . words from ROB VAN DAM, SABU & BILL ALPHONSO . . . video of THE GREAT SASUKE . . . words from TAZ . . . TOMMY DREAMER vs. TAZ — ECW WORLD TV TITLE: ROB VAN DAM & SABU spoil this match by attacking the two. THE SANDMAN tries to make the save but TAZ ends up saving him and BEULAH beats up BILL ALPHONSO . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW/WARZONE 9/15/97
RAW WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at the show downs between COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER & STEVE AUSTIN . . . KEN SHAMROCK defeated FAROOQ in round 1 of the WWF I-C Title Tournie. THE NATION OF DOMINATION attack Shamrock after the match and THE LEGION OF DOOM make the save . . . EL PANTERA vs. TAKA MICHINOKO: Taka gets the win with the Michinoko driver . . . comments from THE TRUTH COMMISSION . . . THE LEGION OF DOOM vs. RECON & SNIPER of THE TRUTH COMMISSION: LOD win by DQ when THE INTERROGATOR interferes. KEN SHAMROCK makes the save . . . EL PARTITA MORGAN & EL TORERO vs. MAX MINI & MR. LUCKY: Max Mini pins El Torero after a mini flying head butt from the top rope . . . a review of the BRIAN PILLMAN/GOLDDUST/MARLENA situation . . . DUDE LOVE vs. BRIAN PILLMAN — Round 1 of the WWF IC Title Tournie: ends in a DQ of Love as GOLDDUST comes in . . .

WAR ZONE WHAT YOU MISSED: JERRY LAWLER interviews STEVE AUSTIN. THE HART FOUNDATION interrupt. They send a lawyer to the ring and serve Austin with a restraining order stating that Lawler can’t come with in 100 feet of OWEN HART. Lawler ends up being Stone Cold Stunnered for sucking up to Austin . . . THE PATRIOT vs. OWEN HART: Steve Austin comes out of the crowd and rips up the restraining order, allowing The Patriot time to roll up Hart for the pin . . . an interview with SHAWN MICHAELS — he says that he wants to be the WWF EUROPEAN CHAMPION so he’ll be the first man to hold all 4 WWF titles and he has no worries about HELL IN THE CELL. THE UNDERTAKER appears on the TITONTRON. He says that Hell in the Cell will be Michaels’ final resting place . . . BRET HART & THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. THE HEADBANGERS — WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE: It looked like The Headbangers lost their title when Bret Hart pinned the illegal man in the ring. It was restarted and ends with a DQ of Hart & Bulldog when Bulldog uses an American flag on the Headbangers. VADER & THE PATRIOT make the save . . .

WCW MONDAY NITRO 9/15/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: We start with TONY SCHIAVANE giving a touching speech on RIC FLAIR. He breaks down and leaves so LARRY ZYBSZKO takes over. Zybszko trashes the NWO. MIKE TENEY says that it may be the end of an era and KEVIN NASH may have been correct when he said THE HORSEMEN died last night. They look at CHRIS BENOIT in the cage and at RIC FLAIR having his head slammed in the cage . . . DISCO INFERNO vs. DEAN MALENKO: they announce that Ric Flair has massive injuries from the cage match last night. Malenko is hurt with a knee injury from last night but wins with the Texas Cloverleaf . . . FACE OF FEAR vs. HARLEM HEAT: MENG gets the win for his team with the TONGAN DEATH GRIP on BOOKER T . . . NITRO GIRLS time . . . KIMBERLY & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE w/GENE OKERLUND — DDP says that he’s sick inside, and RANDY SAVAGE is the sickness, so he’s going to cure himself by taking out Savage . . . REY MISTERIO JR. defeated JUVENTUD GUERRERA . . . ALEX WRIGHT successfully defended his WCW WORLD TV TITLE to LORD STEVEN REGAL . . . RAY TRAYLOR told MEAN GENE OKERLUND that he was back to take out the NWO one at a time . . . THE GIANT squashed KONNAN . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . STEVIE RICHARDS fell to DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE; after the match RAVEN kicked the dazed Stevie out of the ring . . . WRATH & MORTIS fell to SCOTT HALL & KEVIN NASH in a WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE match . . . NWO ERIC brings out the entire NWO to welcome CURT HENNIG. Hennig comes out in one of RIC FLAIR’S robes and presents it to HOLLYWOOD HOGAN as a gift to the NWO . . . THE ULTIMO DRAGON vs. EDDY GUERRERO — WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: Eddy wins with a frog splash . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . CURT HENNIG vs. MONGO — WCW U.S. TITLE: Hennig takes out Mongo’s knee and Hennig uses the Hennig-plex for the win . . .

WCW FALL BRAWL 9/14/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: EDDY GUERRERO vs. CHRIS JERICHO — WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: Jericho hits with a DDT off the top rope then a frog splash to become the new WCW Cruiserweight title holder . . . HARLEM HEAT fell to THE STEINERS . . . THE ULTIMO DRAGON vs. ALEX WRIGHT — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: Alex Wright reverses the dragon sleeper into a pinning combo . . . THE NWO go running past GENE OKERLUND, he goes into the staff locker room and finds CURT HENNIG on the floor in pain . . . JEFF JARRETT vs. DEAN MALENKO: Jarrett sends MRS. MONGO away from ringside and back to the dressing room. MRS. MONGO comes back when Jarrett is losing. Dean Malenko gives in to the figure four . . . TEAM NWO do a segment with KEVIN NASH crying over Curt Hennig’s injury . . . WRATH & MORTIS vs. THE FACES OF FEAR: pretty good match considering the caliber of the wrestlers. In the end, MENG gets JAMES VANDENBURG and MORTIS in the Tongan death grip but WRATH comes up from behind and suplexes Meng for the victory . . . Gene Okerlund in the locker room with THE FOUR HORSEMEN. They’re confident that they’ll come out victorious in the cage even in Hennig isn’t there . . . THE GIANT vs. SCOTT NORTON: easy win for the Giant . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE & LEX LUGER vs. SCOTT HALL & RANDY SAVAGE: Scott Hall knocks out ref. MARK CURTIS. ELIZABETH gets involved. Ref. MICKEY JAY comes out and Scott Hall kicks him in the head. LARRY ZYBSZKO leaves the broadcast booth and walks to the ring. He goes after Scott Hall verbally. Meanwhile Luger gets out of where he was stuck between the rings and rolls Hall up for the pinfall after Zybszko pushes Hall and counts the three . . . BUFF BAGWELL, KEVIN NASH, KONNAN & SYXX vs. RIC FLAIR, CHRIS BENOIT, MONGO & ??? — WAR GAMES CAGE MATCH: Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Benoit were the first in the cage. Konnan was the 2nd man in for his team. Mongo is the 2nd man in for his team. Syxx is 3rd in for his team. Chris Benoit is a one man destruction team. Curt Hennig comes out with his arm in a sling. Flair is the 3rd man in the ring for his team. Kevin Nash is the 4th man for his team. Curt Hennig is the 4th man. His arm isn’t hurt, he has hand cuffs. He knocks out Mongo and Chris Benoit. They Handcuff the Horsemen to the ropes so they can’t save Flair. Flair won’t go down. They put Flair’s head in the cage door and Mongo agrees to stop the match to stop them form shutting Flair’s head in the cage. Hennig does it anyway. We fade out as Hennig poses with The NWO . . .

WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 9/13/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: started quickly with GREG VALENTINE attacking MONGO in a U.S. Title defense. THE NWO attack and THE HORSEMEN save Mongo . . . EDDY GUERRERO vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR: Eddie wins with a frog splash . . . DISCO INFERNO vs. LENNY LANE: Disco wins with a piledriver . . . DUSTY RHODES pays respects to the late FRITZ VON ERICH . . . SUPER CALO vs. THE ULTIMO DRAGON: Dragon sleeper win for the Ultimo Dragon. ALEX WRIGHT’S music plays. Wright comes out with the WCW WORLD TV Belt and makes fun of him but Wright walks away before fighting . . . LEX LUGER vs. SCOTT HALL: MZ. ELIZABETH distracts the ref. to let Hall hit Luger in the Groin. DALLAS PAGE & RANDY SAVAGE both interfere and it’s a double DQ . . .

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 9/12/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: we start with LANCE WRIGHT coming to the ring to talk to TAZ. Taz calls out SABU & ROB VAN DAM but they don’t come out. Wright says he’s fed up with ECW and that he’s a broadcast journalist and that he used to work for the WWF yet he doesn’t get the respect that he deserves. He offers to give Taz a good word with the WWF. He says he can get anything he wants because he has rich parents. Taz tells him “goodbye” then TAZPLEXED him and chokes him out . . . JOEY STYLES welcomes us to the show from Boston. He says that RICK RUDE hand picked an opponent for SHANE DOUGLAS to defend his title against tonight, and we’ll see THE SANDMAN vs. SABU tonight . . . TRACEY SMOTHERS vs. JOHN KRONUS: Kronus wins with the 360 splash . . . JOEL GERTNER with THE DUDLEYS from Dudleyville. Gertner congratulate Kronus for his win. He says that Kronus can take on BIG DICK DUDLEY since he’s a singles wrestler now . . . RICK RUDE introduces SHANE DOUGLAS and says that AXL ROTTEN will be his opponent tonight. Douglas gets the win with the Belly to Belly . . . SABU vs. THE SANDMAN: Sabu smashes a bottle over the Sandman’s head before the match and Sandman starts gushing blood. TOMMY DREAMER and other wrestlers try to help but SABU & ROB VAN DAM attack them. Turns into Dreamer vs. Van Dam. But it’s not much of a match as Sabu comes in and it’s a 2 on one on Dreamer. TAZ’S music starts up. Taz stops them from burying Dreamer under the WWF Flag. It becomes a 2 on one on Taz but he runs them off. After it’s over Tommy Dreamer says he owes Taz a favor, Taz says that favor is Dreamer will challenge him for the ECW WORLD TV TITLE . . . PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY announces that TOD GORDON has left the company . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW/WAR ZONE 9/8/97
RAW WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at images from GROUND ZERO . . . VINCE MCMAHON brings out COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER. Slaughter said things were utter chaos at Ground Zero and that he was going to be cracking down and there will be law and order. Slaughter says that STEVE AUSTIN was out of line at Ground Zero. He says that Austin will be suspended until he gets medical clearance to Wrestle. He also says that starting tonight there will be a tournament for Austin’s INTER-CONTINENTAL title with the finals at BADD BLOOD on Oct. 5. He orders Austin to Be at Badd Blood in order to forfeit the WWF IC Title and to present the title to the winner of the tournament. Austin comes out. Austin refuses to comply with Slaughter’s orders then Stone Cold Stunners Slaughter before chasing VINCE MCMAHON away from the announcers area and taking Vince’s seat. He jumps on the announcers table and taunts Vince McMahon before slinking back to the dressing room . . . after commercial JIM ROSS berates Austin for attacking him the night before and attacking Slaughter tonight . . . we cut to the wrestling room with security trying to eject Steve Austin from the building . . . VADER vs. BRET HART — NO HOLDS BARRED NON-TITLE MATCH: Early in the match Vader destroys Hart’s Canadian Flag and attacks Hart with it. DAVEY BOY SMITH comes out to watch the match. THE PATRIOT, OWEN HART & Smith all get involved and they throw the match out when STEVE AUSTIN clears the ring . . . back in the locker room and COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER is storming around throwing stuff . . . THE GODWINNS attack THE HEADBANGERS’ scheduled opponents and call the Headbangers out. Someone dressed like on of the Godwinns attacks one of the Headbangers behind the ref.’s back and gets the win for the Godwinns. The Godwinns introduce the guy as UNCLE CLEATUS (a.k.a. THE DIRTY WHITE BOY) . . . DUDE LOVE vs. BRIAN PILLMAN — WWF IC TITLE TOURNIE ROUND 1: a very ditzy SUNNY makes the intros. Love brings out GOLDDUST to watch his back. Pillman is over the speakers, saying he’s on the phone from home and he refuses to come until the WWF can make sure the arena is safe. They play a tape of “Brian Pillman’s XXX files tape 1.” He’s in a hotel room in a towel and smoking of Marlena’s cigars. The room is destroyed and there’s lingerie all over the place. Part two comes later and Golddust is outraged . . .

WAR ZONE WHAT YOU MISSED: PARTITA MORGAN fell to MAXX MINI . . . THE UNDERTAKER comes out for an interview. SHAWN MICHAELS interrupts him on the TITANTRON. Michaels says he’s a survivor and will survive their “hell in the cell” steel cage match. Undertaker says that Michaels will “rest in peace” . . . SUNNY in the dressing room with THE HART FOUNDATION . . . OWEN HART vs. GOLDDUST — WWF IC TITLE TOURNIE ROUND 1: BRET HART & DAVEY BOY SMITH are at ringside to “make sure STEVE AUSTIN doesn’t interfere.” Golddust is disqualified for attacking Owen Hart’s groin. The Hart Foundation trash him. STEVE AUSTIN comes out of the crowd with a broom then wants VINCE MCMAHON in the ring but Vince won’t comply. Austin leaves while Golddust is in the ring and BRIAN PILLMAN’S voice is over the house speakers again. The Titantron goes to part two of “BRIAN PILLMANS XXX Files.” This time allegedly featuring MARLENA in the shower. Well it’s a steamy room and someone wrote “I love you Brian” in a heart on the mirror in the bathroom . . . THE HART FOUNDATION in the locker room dissing Steve Austin . . . SAVIO VEGA comes to do commentary on the Triple Threat matches since he’s “the king of Triple Threat matches” . . . THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. THE PATRIOT vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY: Vega replaces Bulldog after SHAWN MICHAELS, HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY & CHYNA attack Bulldog’s knee with a chair. Michaels returns to commentate. CHYNA came out to “watch Hunters back” during the match. Helmsly pins Savio after the ref. gets knocked out and SHAWN MICHAELS interferes. CHYNA throws chairs in the ring and she, Michaels and Helmsly are holding chairs in the ring as VADER & THE PATRIOT are on one side of the ring and LOS BORICUAS are on the other, and THE HART FOUNDATION on the way out — and they all want this “CLIQUE” . . .

WCW NITRO 9/8/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE NITRO GIRLS started the show, KIMBERLY improving this week . . . NWO ERIC ignores his 50 foot restraining
order against LARRY ZYBSZKO and comes out and orders a replay of the FOUR HORSEMEN parody. At this point THE FOUR HORSEMEN come out and stop the replay and take over the set. They want THE NWO and go to the ring. GENE OKERLUND hits the ring. The Horsemen verbally assault the NWO since the NWO won’t face them in the ring. They refuse to leave the ring until the NWO comes out . . . after commercial security comes out to clear the ring. The Horsemen leave . . . REY MISTERIO JR. vs. EDDY GUERRERO: Misterio gets a win with a Hurricanrana off the top ring rope into a small package . . . more of the NITRO GIRLS . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE with GENE OKERLUND and says he and LEX LUGER can make up by wrestling. Luger comes out. Luger accepts the match . . . DISCO INFERNO vs. HUGH MORRUS: ALEX WRIGHT comes out and gets hit by Hugh. Alex distracts the ref. and throws his WORLD TV BELT to Inferno. Morrus hits with a moonsault and Inferno gets hit and pinned . . . KEVIN NASH, K-DOGG, SYXX & BUFF BAGWELL come out. They say they make the rules around here and won’t wrestle the Horsemen tonight. Buff says he doesn’t have anything to do tonight so he & K-DOGG will defend the honor of the NWO tonight . . . BRAD ARMSTRONG vs. CHRIS JERICHO — WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: EDDY GUERRERO comes out. He says that Armstrong should step aside. Armstrong says to go to heck. Guerrero comes in and gets Armstrong DQ’d by attacking Jericho.  Jericho gets the Lion Tamer on Jericho and Armstrong clotheslines him. We go to commercial with Armstrong and Guerrero double teaming Jericho . . . Nitro Girls for no apparet reason . . . a look at how HOLLYWOOD HOGAN put out JJ DILLION last week . . . NWO ERIC & HOLLYWOOD HOGAN come out. They gloat. Hogan says he’ll put the title on the line tonight to STING. Eric says that Sting is a coward and we all know that. STING comes down from the rafters and hits the ground hard. Well, no, it’s a Sting dummy. SCOTT NORTON & BUFF BAGWELL hold the Sting dummy and Hogan and Eric attack the Dummy. Bischoff takes off his shirt and is wearing a ref.’s shirt. He counts the 3 on “Sting” after Hogan beats “him” up . . . FACES OF FEAR vs. THE STEINERS: HARLEM HEAT, WRATH & MORTIS all attack to get a double DQ . . . SCOTT HALL vs. SUPER CALO: easy win for Hall. RAY TRAYLOR comes out and gets in the face of Scott Hall. Hall hits him. Traylor fires back and gets Hall in the sidewalk slam. VINCENT comes out and gets the sidewalk slam. HOLLYWOOD HOGAN comes out and Hall attacks Traylor from behind, putting him in the Outsiders Edge.  It’s three on one and Hogan spray paints Traylor. . . . NITRO GIRLS again . . . PSYCHOSIS vs. DEAN MALENKO: A fan comes into the ring and the ref. takes him down. Security takes him out. Malenko wins with the Texas Cloverleaf. JEFF JARRETT & MRS. MONGO come out. Jarrett wants to get in the ring tonight. Malenko goes after it. Jarrett says he has to sign a contract first. Jarrett runs back to the dressing room and Mrs. Mongo rambles on and on and on . . . GENE OKERLUND in the ring. He shows what happened to JJ DILLION. He announces that the new acting chairman of the WCW Executive Committee will be coming out. RODDY PIPER’S music plays and it’s a repeat of last year when Piper was the president of the WWF! Whoo hoo. He says 1) STING will meet HOLLYWOOD HOGAN before the end of the year, 2) he will take on Hogan in a 20 foot steel cage at Halloween Havock this year, and 3) LEX LUGER & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE are out of WAR GAMES, THE FOUR HORSEMEN are in and THE NWO are their opponents . . . RIC FLAIR & CURT HENNIG vs. K-DOGG & BUFF BAGWELL: Hennig pins K-DOGG . . . LEX LUGER vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE: SCOTT NORTON, VINCENT & RANDY SAVAGE attack Luger outside the ring. Savage interferes. It becomes DDP & LUGER vs. Vincent, Savage, Scott Hall & Scott Norton. THE GIANT comes out and clears the ring. The NWO scamper back to the dressing room wearing Cheese Head Hats after Page & Luger stand tall together. It ends with Luger & Page shaking hands and hugging . . .

WWF GROUND ZERO 9/7/97
PRESHOW WHAT YOU MISSED: SUNNY opens the show to take us to MICHAEL COLE in the locker room. He’s next to SHAWN MICHAELS’ locker room and heads over to DOK HENDRIX outside of THE HART FOUNDATION LOCKER ROOM and a look back at THE PATRIOT beating BRET HART a few weeks back and a replay of the Patriot segment they’ve been running on every show . . . an interview with BRET HART . . . an interview with SHAWN MICHAELS. Michaels questions how Michael Cole can say “Shawn Michaels has an unusual swagger tonight” when he hasn’t been around long enough to notice it. He says he’ll beat THE UNDERTAKER tonight . . . STEVE AUSTIN comes out. He has the WWF IC Belt and disses OWEN HART . . . they end things by getting the commentators views on the matches . . .

PPV WHAT YOU MISSED: GOLDDUST vs. BRIAN PILLMAN — MARLENA vs. LOSER LEAVE TOWN: Golddust hits with the curtain call but Pillman’s hand hit the ref. and the ref. was knocked down. MARLENA went to hit Pillman with a purse, Pillman took the purse then clocked Golddust with it for the cover and the win. Pillman takes Marlena to the dressing room with and to a car then drives her out of there. Meanwhile JERRY LAWLER retrieves Marlena’s purse and opens it to reveal that it contains a brick . . . SCOTT PUTSKI vs. BRIAN CHRISTOPHER: Putski blows out his knee outside the ring and is counted out. After the match Jerry Lawler and Christopher circle him and tease him while his knee looks mangaled . . . SAVIO VEGA vs. FAROOQ vs. CRUSH: Farooq takes off his belt and the three trade it through out the match. Long and boring. Vega wins with a spinning heel kick on Crush . . . EL TORERO vs. MAX MINI: In this Mini match, Max gets the win with a sunset flip . . . DUDE LOVE comes out and says he can’t defend the title belts himself. He says that without STEVE AUSTIN he can’t defend the belts so he gives up his belt. STEVE AUSTIN comes out and says that COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER can blow it out his rear end. Austin goes off on VINCE MCMAHON. Austin says that if Slaughter wants the belt then he can drop and do 20 push ups for it. He throws the belt at Slaughter and Slaughter leaves with the belts. JIM ROSS says get well wishes then Austin attacks him. Dude Love tries to get him back to the dressing room . . . an interview with OWEN HART & THE BRITISH BULLDOG . . . OWEN HART & THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. THE HEADBANGERS vs. THE LEGION OF DOOM vs. THE GODWINNS — 4 WAY FOR THE WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: THE LOD are DQ’d for using the Godwinn’s slop bucket. The Godwinns are eliminated by the Headbangers by pinfall. Steve Austin runs in the ring and Stone Cold Stunners Owen Hart behind the ref.’s back to get the win for THE HEADBANGERS . . . THE PATRIOT vs. BRET HART — WWF WORLD TITLE: decent match. DAVEY BOY SMITH comes out half way through the match. Vader & The Patriot  double team Bulldog outside the ring. Vader goes on to trash Hart. Bulldog & Vader get tossed back to the dressing room. Hart eventually wins with a sharpshooter. Hart then destroys the American flag and chokes the Patriot with it. He goes on to attack PAT PATTERSON before going back to attacking the Patriot then leaves with the belt . . . SHAWN MICHAELS vs. THE UNDERTAKER: the match starts after 10 minutes of brawling and the destruction of the first ref. The second ref. gets clocked and RICK RUDE comes out and gives Michaels a set of brass knuckles. Michaels hits The Undertaker with them and pins him. Rude goes back to the locker room. A 3rd ref. comes in and he gets clocked. CHYNA & HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY come out. They double team The Undertaker. After a while a 4th ref. comes out and throws the match out. With The Undertaker tied in the ropes, Chyna gives Michaels a chair, Michaels takes in and runs at Undertaker but gets rammed by a boot. It turns into a double team of Undie. Michaels attacks all the refs. and officials that come in the ring. Undertaker tombstones Helmsley. Wrestlers come out and get taken out by The Undertaker and it ends with the Undertaker in the ring . . .

WWF SUPERSTARS 9/7/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at THE PATRIOT . . . a look at THE PATRIOT winning by DQ over OWEN HART from Friday Night’s Main Event . . . a look at DAKOTA RUNNELS and the situation between GOLDDUST & BRIAN PILLMAN . . . SAVIO VEGA vs. DLO BROWN: MIGEL PEREZ sneaks into the win and gets a powerbomb on Brown behind the ref.’s back to get the win for Vega . . . a replay of the STEVE AUSTIN interview from Friday Night’s Main Event (FNME) . . . a partial replay of THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. DUDE LOVE from FNME . . . a partial replay of the BRET HART interview from FNME . . . a replay of HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. THE UNDERTAKER from FNME . . .

WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 9/6/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: PRINCE IUKEA fell to JEFF JARRETT . . . SYXX over JOHNNY SWINGER . . . ALEX WRIGHT vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: Alex gets the easy win . . . a special look at DAVE TAYLOR . . . DAVE TAYLOR over BILLY KIDMAN . . . GLACIER & ERNEST MILLER vs. WRATH & MORTIS: MENG & THE BARBARIAN interfere outside the ring and Glacier pins Wrath . . . a look at RAVEN helping STEVIE RICHARDS defeat DAMION on NITRO . . . JIM POWERS w/TEDDY LONG vs. STEVIE RICHARDS: RAVEN is in the crowd. He comes in and DDT’S powers when Richards has the ref. distracted . . . a look at HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & NWO ERIC attacking JJ DILLION from NITRO . . . RENEGADE fell to DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE . . . a video look at STING . . . CHRIS JERICHO over HECTOR GUERRERO . . . HUGH MORRUS vs. SCOTT NORTON: Norton gets the win with a brain buster . . . HIGH VOLTAGE vs. PUBLIC ENEMY — NO DQ: Public Enemy wins . . . K-DOG vs. CURT HENNIG: VINCENT interferes when Hennig goes for the Hennig-plex. SYXX gets him when he does it to Vincent. It’s a 3 on 1 triple team until MONGO & CHRIS BENOIT make the save . . .

WCW MAIN EVENT 9/6/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at the end of NITRO with LEX LUGER accidently hitting DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, which allowed the NWO to get the win . . . a look at HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & NWO ERIC attacking JJ DILLION from NITRO . . . HARLEM HEAT over THE TEXAS HANGMAN . . . TONY SCHIAVANE says we’ll never see the footage of the NWO making a mockery of ARN ANDERSON again . . . RIC FLAIR over BILLY KIDMAN from WCW PRO WRESTLING . . . it was announced that WCW PRO WRESTLING will not be on this week but will be on at 12:05 PM next Saturday for a special Saturday show . . . ULTIMO DRAGON over LA PARKA from NITRO . . . a look at RODDY PIPER . . . GREG VALENTINE fell to LEX LUGER . . .

EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 9/5/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: we start with a look at ROB VAN DAM vs. TOMMY DREAMER, with Dreamer getting the win and SABU attacking him and putting him under a WWF flag . . . LANCE WRIGHT says he’ll get to the bottom of it all tonight . . . JOEY STYLES opens the show in shock, saying he’s never seen something as low as what Van Dam & Sabu did last week . . . LANCE WRIGHT back and he says he’ll be talking to Dreamer. Then he gets second thoughts and Dreamer comes out and grunts revenge for Sabu & Van Dam . . . THE FBI vs. CHRIS CHETTI & SPIKE DUDLEY: 3 on 2 tag team match up. Rich isn’t dressed for the match but is apparently in on it as he gets pinned by Spike for the win . . . CHRIS CANDIDO comes out with Joey Styles and says he didn’t have anything to do with the WWF banner then goes on and on and on about just about everything WWF or TRIPLE THREAT related and taking phone calls on his cell phone, starting and restarting his promo several times but not knowing the camera was rolling the whole time . . . SABU w/BILL ALPHONSO vs. BOBBY DUNCUM JR. w/JASON: Good match until ROB VAN DAM comes in and gets his partner disqualified. JASON tries to take out Jason but pays for it. TOMMY DREAMER makes the save. Dreamer goes insane and takes out both Sabu and Van Dam with their own moves, finishing off Sabu with the Air Dreamer with a chair before it turns into a match. Dreamer ends up splashing Sabu through a table. Rob Van Dam comes in and they again double team Dreamer. Putting an Arabian face buster on him. After putting dreamer out Sabu clotheslines BEULAH and THE SANDMAN comes out and makes the save until he gets VANDAMINATED. Van Dam puts him in a surf board and Sabu comes off the top rope with a chair. Sandman is down and, much like last week, they drape Dreamer, Sandman and Beulah under the WWF flag. TAZ comes out and clears the ring and gets Alphonso in the Tazmission as we fade out . . .

WWF FRIDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT 9/5/97
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE PATRIOT vs. OWEN HART: DQ win by Patriot when BRET HART & THE BRITISH BULLDOG interfere. VADER makes the save . . . COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER says that STEVE AUSTIN will not be allowed to come back as he’ll risk his injury. He’s taking away Austin’s half of the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES and suspending Austin . . . comments from STEVE AUSTIN from his home in Texas. He shoots pictures of GORILLA MONSOON, VINCE MCMAHON, JIM ROSS & OWEN HART with a bow and arrow . . . DUDE LOVEN vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG: ends when OWEN HART interferes. They go to spike piledrive Dude Love when THE LEGION OF DOOM save him . . . a look at BRIAN PILLMAN claiming that DAKOTA RUNNELS is his love child . . . SUNNY interviews BRIAN PILLMAN in the locker room. Pillman says that he and MARLENA have had some romantic interludes . . . an interview with BRET HART . . . SUNNY Interviews RICK RUDE . . . THE UNDERTAKER vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY: SHAWN MICHAELS interferes then RICK RUDE, Michaels, Hunter & CHINA quadruple team The Undertaker. JERRY BRISCO, a ref. and a security guard get chokeslammed while trying to clear the ring . . . SUNNY tries to interview SHAWN MICHAELS as he’s running from the building . . . JESUS & JOSE of LOS BORICUAS vs. THE LEGION OF DOOM: THE GODWINNS attack the LOD and it’s a 3 way, then the other 2 Boricuas come out and it’s an 8 man battle. THE DOA come out and it’s a 12 man brawl . . . . a look at DEL WILKES a.k.a. THE PATRIOT . . . an update on AHMED JOHNSON — he’ll be back in 3 weeks . . . KEN SHAMROCK over SALVATORE SINCERE . . . STEVE CASEY fell to SCOTT PUTSKI . . . SUNNY interviews PAUL BEARER. Bearer says that Vader’s allegiance should lie with him. He also says that KANE will be here soon and the fat man will be singing . . . THE INTERROGATOR over JERRY FOX & SONNY ROGERS . . .

NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do this so I’m just going to go off on a few subjects then get the issue out.

First, last week news came that Seagram Co., the owner of Universal Studios, will be buying out Viacom Inc.’s stake in the USA Networks (which includes the USA Network and the Sci Fi Channel), for $1.7 billion ending a nearly 16 year partnership between the two companies.

While full details aren’t clear, it’s already apparent that Universal-produced shows such as “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” and “Xena: Warrior Princess” will now homes on the USA Channel, while giving Viacom a chance to climb out of it’s massive debts.  Viacom, which owns both Paramount and the Blockbuster movie chain, is expected to greatly reduce it’s programming on the USA Channel while exploring new venues for its products.

What does this mean to you? Well, not much now, Wrestling seems to be pretty solid with the USA Channel. While the WWF is losing weekly in the ratings to NITRO, it’s a proven commodity and we’ll all have to wait and see what Universal decides to do with the wrestling programming on the USA Channel.

Switching over to the other guys, WCW’S MONDAY NITRO was second only in the cable channel ratings to Monday Night Football and the coverage of Princess Di’s death for the first week of September. With Nearly a 4 and a half hour block on Monday Nights (Monday Nitro then it’s replay), WCW has a commanding lead over nearly everything else on Cable TV these days and it seems unstoppable.

Right now I’m not so sure about my feelings about the WCW. I dread Monday Nights. WCW Nitro may actually win in the ratings period, but it’s horrible after the first hour.  Once the NWO and the egos come out I start to yawn.  By the time 10 PM rolls around I’m hoping and I’m wishing that they just shut it down early for once.

Every week lately they’re announcing big matches, but, of course, the matches don’t come until 9:42 or 9:45 PM. They usually have two or three god awful matches crammed into the last 15 minutes of the show and they *always* go over time in order to guarantee a ratings win for at least the first 15 minutes of their “Replay’s” first hour.

It’s becoming a predictable bore to watch, especially a few weeks back with Nitro’s last 3 hour show. Not only were they unopposed and put on a horribly lackluster show they went SEVEN MINUTES OVER their 11 PM cut off time for NO APPARENT REASON. They were guarantee a ratings win (they were unopposed and had their best ratings ever), yet they still had to go over time to finish the last match.

I’m getting very tired of this and of WCW. They created the NWO angle last year in order to spice up a dying federation that basically needed a shot of pure rebellion and the NWO gave them that. Unfortunately, it’s become “good guys get minor win, NWO comes out and tries to be cool then gets the big win in the last 15 minutes.” It’s boring, it’s predictable, and frankly, with all the egos involved I’m surprised that they haven’t all stabbed each other in the ego by now.

Each and every week it gets worse, and each and every week we watch, we bitch, and we moan about it, but they keep going on and on.

Now onto brighter news.

At 6:19 AM on Friday Sept. 19, my sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Zane Alexander Hudson weighed in at almost 9 lbs. and came into the world with a full head of jet black hair.  He and sister Jordan (she’ll be 3 in November), will probably be future reporters for the ring report. Well, that’s if they ever let me back on the computer now that Jordan’s discovered that she can type real big and in Pink on my WordPerfect.

Two more quickies — I’ll be gone from Oct. 3 until Oct. 6 on a vacation to parts unknown. Well, 3 and a half days away from the computer (unlike the last one, which was 5 days with a computer), and hey, I turn 27 today. Now I’m outta here . . .

Have a great week!

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The Ring Report TV Update is published weekly, usually every Tuesday, at http://www.cybrsports.com/wrestle/rreport, in AOL’S download libraries, on ALLAN BARRIE’S WHOO List, and on RSPWI. It is not available via subscription. We do accept tv & house show report submissions as well as column submissions (as long as the columns are short), and all should be sent to MADDOGJMF@aol.com.  All reports are (c) 1997 MAD DOG BYTES COMPUTERS.
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