The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #30, May 23, 1998

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The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #30, May 23, 1998
(“ERIC, I’M DONE WITH YOU. YOU’RE FREE TO GO ABOUT YOUR LIFE.”)
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ECW 5/23/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: JOEY STYLES opens the show and TAZ comes out and says that ECW won’t admit that he’s the World Champion. He says he’s destroyed SHANE DOUGLAS so he’s the champion. He gets out an orange belt and says that it’s his world championship. He wants Shane Douglas to defend his belt against Taz’s belt. BAM BAM BIGELOW comes out instead. They want to fight and refs. try to break them up but they end up brawling . . . Joey says that the action from QUEENS will never be shown on tv in it’s entirety but it’s available on home video . . . JUSTIN CREDIBLE vs. JERRY LYNN: Lynn gets the upset win . . . a promo for the 900 # voting for who won the PPV match up between SABU & ROB VAN DAM . . . SABU over DANNY DOURING . . . CHRIS CANDIDO over JAMIE DUNDEE . . . MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. ROB VAN DAM — ECW WORLD TV TITLE: ends with Sabu & ROB VAN DAM attacking Van Dam and LANCE STORM making the save . . .

WCW THURSDAY NIGHT THUNDER 5/21/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE GIANT comes out and calls out LEX LUGER. Luger says the Giant lied and that STING is not with the NWO (gee twin Stings? Could it be?). Luger challenges the Giant to a match. Giant says that Luger can join NWO HOLLYWOOD or else. Luger spits in The Giant’s face and walks off. The Giant then destroys all the luchadores who apparently came out to stop a possible fight between Luger and the Giant . . . ERNEST MILLER vs. YUGI NAGATA: Miller gets the win . . . comments from DEAN MALENKO . . . CHRIS JERICHO comes out and says that his loss of the WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE was a conspiracy and calls out JJ DILLION. Dillion won’t come out. He says he has evidence of a conspiracy. He defeats SUPER CALO . . . a look at the situation between MORTIS & THE FLOCK & RAVEN . . . RAVEN comes out with his security guards. Raven goes off on SATURN saying that their friendship was more important than Saturn’s desire to be U.S. Champion. Saturn comes out. Saturn says that Raven is confused and drunk with power. He says he’s never been a member of the Flock, he’s been a friend, an equal, and will not be bossed around. Raven apologizes. Then Raven disses Mortis and calls him out. He says that Mortis is in the stands. Mortis comes out from the locker room. Raven orders the riot cops to get him, they do, then another fan comes out of the crowd and attack Raven — it’s Mortis . . . FIT FINLEY over JIM NIEDHART . . . an interview with BOOKER T. CHRIS BENOIT comes out instead and wonders why Booker T was named the #1 contender to Fit Finley. Booker T comes out. Benoit ends up attacking T. STEVIE RAY comes out and says that T can’t lay down for a punk like Beniot. He takes T back to the dressing room to attack Benoit . . . a look at SCOTT HALL joining NWO HOLLYWOOD . . . BRIAN ADAMS vs. JIM DUGGAN: Adams attacks the ref. and Duggan wins by DQ . . . HAMMER vs. SATURN: REESE comes out and distracts the ref. RAVEN DDT’s Hammer. Saturn yells at Raven, then death valley drivers Hammer and gets the win. Raven gets in the ring with Saturn. Raven stares at him and gets out . . . RICK RUDE comes out and does his classic “fat, out of shape” intro for CURT HENNIG, who he calls the NEXT United States Champion and they diss Goldberg . . . JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. HORACE: Reese interferes, Horace wins . . . an interview with RANDY SAVAGE . . . JUVENTUD, EDDY & GRANNY GUERRERO. Eddy says that Granny says something about him being the best, she says no no no, then we go to CHAVO GUERRERO vs. DEAN MALENKO — WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: it’s originally Eddy vs. Dean but Chavo wants the match and takes it. Chavo loses then slaps Eddy after the match and storms off . . . THE GIANT vs. LEX LUGER: A fake STING attacks Luger and leaves with The Giant . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 5/18/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: VICE MCMAHON, JERRY BRISCO & PAT PATTERSON come out. McMahon says that STEVE AUSTIN is injured and to protect Austin from further injury, Austin is barred from the arena. DUSTIN RUNNELS comes out and complains about losing the #1 slot to DUDE LOVE. McMahon goes off on him and says that if he can wrestle and beat Dude Love tonight then he would be the #1 contender to Steve Austin and the WWF World Title. If he doesn’t beat love McMahon would withhold his pay for 30 days. Runnels attacks Love, then Love, Patterson & Brisco attack him. WWF Officials take off Runnels . . . JERRY LAWLER has a guy with a blue blanket over his head with him as he enters in the parking area . . . after commercial Lawler has lost the guy and finds him listening to the Ross Report on a pay phone . . . VAL VENIS looked horrible in his match and win over TOO COLD SCORPIO . . . Steve Austin makes it to the parking area and security refuses to let him in the building. Austin attacks him and goes in the building . . . Austin comes down to the ring. Austin calls out McMahon & associates. McMahon & Co. come out from the dressing room to the ring entrance. Austin wants to beat up all three of them in the ring tonight . . . a promo for THE EDGE . . . Jerry Lawler stops his mystery man from getting makeup . . . SABLE comes out, soon to be followed by MARC MERO. She says she wants to split up with him. Mero says that he has a contract with Sable and that he owns her. She says she doesn’t have any choice due to the contract. He orders her to get in his corner now. She does and TERRY FUNK comes out for his match with Mero. Funk wins with a DDT after Sable distracts Mero . . . some police officers with the security guard that Austin attacked earlier . . . THE LOD 2000 fall to DOA again. They want a six man tag team match next week . . . a look at PAUL BEARER & KANE going to a DNA lab to prove that they are father and son . . . JERRY LAWLER brings out his mystery man, who he reveals to be AL SNOW. He says that Snow is his bodyguard to fend off THE UNDERTAKER. Snow acts weird so Lawler makes him go sit in the crowd . . . DUDE LOVE vs. DUSTIN RUNNELS: Pat Patterson & Jerry Brisco are at ringside. Brisco interferes and Love gets the easy win . . . two police officers arresting Steve Austin in the dressing room . . . Vince McMahon & friends in the dressing room mocking Austin . . . THE HEADBANGERS fell to KEINTAI by DQ when TAKA MICHINOKU & JUSTIN HAWK BRADSHAW came in . . . OWEN HART & ROCKY MIAVIA vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS — WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Outlaws get the win with FAROOQ’s help . . . the security guard says he won’t press charges if Steve Austin apologizes to him. He gets an apology & several insults . . . it’s announced that Kane & Paul Bearer are son & father. They come out and THE UNDERTAKER attacks them, Bearer & Kane gets the upper-hand and VADER makes the save . . . STEVE AUSTIN vs. JERRY BRISCO & PAT PATTERSON — STREET FIGHT: COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER is the ref. for the match. Slaughter knocked down Austin to begin this match. DUDE LOVE eventually comes out but can’t stand up to Austin. It ends with Vince McMahon attacking Austin . . .

WCW MONDAY NITRO 5/18/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: ERIC BISCHOFF on a motorcycle in the ring wearing a crown. He says the king of wrestling. He says that he’s defeated LARRY ZYBSZKO & VINCE MCMAHON in the ring. He says he called out McMahon and McMahon never came. He says the future is his dream, that dream started last night whatever the heck it is . . . GENE OKERLUND brings out THE NITRO GIRLS. They dance and no one cares . . . footage of SATURN challenging GLACIER . . . SATURN vs. PSYCHOSIS: easy win for Saturn . . . a look at BRET HART vs. RANDY SAVAGE from last night . . . Gene Okerlund brings out RODDY PIPER. Piper says he’s never going to ref. again. He says that Savage attacked him (Savage didn’t Bret Hart did), then he calls out Savage. Piper says the he’d apologize to Savage if he were the type of guy who apologized. He says he watched the footage and says he didn’t have an idea that HOLLYWOOD HOGAN interfered in the match and that Bret Hart attacked him. He says as commissioner he changes the decision from last night’s Bret Hart/Randy Savage match to a DQ of Hart. Hart gets on the microphone and heads out on the entry way to the ring. Savage says let’s do it now and Piper says he’ll be ref. Hart says he’ll do it, Hogan & Bischoff come out to watch his back w/THE DISCIPLE. Hogan wants a tag team match — Hart & Hogan vs. Piper & Savage June 14 on PPV. Bischoff stops Hart & Hogan from charging the ring . . . a look at Gene Okerlund saying that he can’t say that DEAN MALENKO is a loser any more. Malenko says he’s going to get respect back to his family name . . . comments from CHRIS JERICHO . . . JUVENTUD GUERRERA over DAMION . . . another pointless NITRO GIRLS segment . . . GLACIER vs. BILL GOLDBERG — WCW U.S. TITLE: easy win for Goldberg . . . Okerlund brings out DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE for no apparent reason . . . NWO HOLLYWOOD comes out. They want STING to make a decision. SCOTT HALL is not out with the troops but BRET HART comes in late. They bring out Scott Hall. Sting comes out. The Giant meets him on the way to the ring. Sting spits in his face and walks off. The giant attacks him from behind. KEVIN NASH w/a lead pipe stops the Giant and stands over Sting . . .

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF ERIC BISCHOFF by Eric Bischoff

NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
Okay it’s a week later and it’s pretty obvious that ERIC BISCHOFF isn’t going to write anything for the RING REPORT TV UPDATE. Goodness knows that our 23 subscribers and our presence on RSPW-I (the world’s smallest info newsgroup), got the coverage out there for this grand open challenge to him but, alas, no e-mail from Eric.

Maybe he needs you, the wrestling fan, to tell him that he has an open challenge! Yes, yes, this week I’d like every one of you to moon your TV set any time you see Eric. Heck, anytime you think of Eric, drop your drawers and moon someone. Let him know what you think of him by mooning him wherever you go.

You know, Eric, I wish it didn’t have to come to this, but if one subscriber to the Ring Report drops his or her pants and moons a TV in the privacy of their own living room I’ll be happy. It’s a sign! Yes, a sign to you Eric that we’re mad as hell and not going to take it any more!

With that, I’m out of here, have a great week!

Have a great Week!

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The Ring Report TV Update is published weekly on RSPWI. It is now available via subscription by sending a “SUBSCRIBE” message to ringreport@hotmail.com. We do accept tv & house show report submissions as well as column submissions (as long as the columns are short), and all should be sent to ringreport@hotmail.com.  All reports are (c) 1998 MAD DOG BYTES COMPUTERS and not for reuse or retransmission without permission.
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