The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #36, July 27, 1998

The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #36, July 27, 1998
(“Television is the first truly democratic culture. The first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.” — Clive Barnes)
FREE FOR ALL WHAT YOU MISSED: A look at STEVE AUSTIN attacking THE UNDERTAKER, MANKIND & KANE on RAW . . . a look at HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY losing the WWF EUROPEAN TITLE to D’LO BROWN from RAW . . . an interview with Hunter Hearst Helmsley & CHYNA . . . an interview with THE NATION OF DOMINATION . . . JERRY LAWLER outside of SABLE’S dressing room. They flash back to MZ. JACKIE stripping Sable last week on RAW. Lawler tries to interview Sable. She offers him a preview. She gets undressed behind a screen and offers him a peep. HE almost dies with a smile on his face . . . a look at OWEN HART attacking KEN SHAMROCK on RAW . . . a look at the situation between THE UNDERTAKER & STEVE AUSTIN . . . comments from STEVE AUSTIN . . .

MAIN SHOW WHAT YOU MISSED: VAL VENIS vs. JEFF JARRETT: Venis comes out and starts to strip when DOUBLE J’S music starts up and Double J, TENNESSEE LEE & SOUTHERN JUSTICE come out. The ref. goes to throw out Southern Justice when KEINTAI’S music starts up. The refs. send Keintai back to the dressing room but MR. YAMAGUTCHI stays out to do commentary. Venis gets the win . . . . D’LO BROWN over X-POC with help from “THE GODFATHER” KAMA . . . TOO COLD SCORPIO & FAROOQ vs. TERRY FUNK & JUSTIN HAWK BRADSHAW: before the match Funk announces that he’s going to take some time off from the WWF after this match. Scorpio pins Terry Funk. After the match Bradshaw berated Funk and attacks him. Scorpio tries to make the save and is knocked out. Bradshaw then attacks Farooq with a chair . . . VADER did the job for MARK HENRY . . . MANKIND & KANE come out with PAUL BEARER. THE UNDERTAKER has been missing all night. Bearer says that the Undertaker won’t be here tonight. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS come out. They challenge Kane & Mankind to a title shot tomorrow night on RAW then they attack Kane & Mankind . . . THE LOD 2000 vs. DOA: PAUL ELLERING is now MR. DOT.COM. DOA pull the “fresh twin replaces winded twin behind the ref.’s back” and get the win . . . VINCE MCMAHON & CRONIES come out. McMahon comes out and says that he’s not to blame for the Undertaker not showing up. He blames STEVE AUSTIN. McMahon reminds everyone that the card is “subject to change” and begins to read from the Fully Loaded Program. He reads some fine print that says that he has the right to substitute someone on the card for the Undertaker if the Undertaker doesn’t show. McMahon brings out THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER as the replacement for The Undertaker if the Undertaker doesn’t show. Brawler comes out and Hugs everyone and McMahon leaves . . . KEN SHAMROCK vs. OWEN HART — SUBMISSION MATCH FROM THE HART FAMILY DUNGEON w/DAN SEVERN as the ref.: One of Shamrock’s kicks goes wild and hits Severn, he’s knocked down. Owen Hart hits Shamrock with a barbell and makes him “tap out” . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY vs. ROCKY MIAVIA — WWF IC TITLE BEST OF 3 FALLS MATCH: MARK HENRY attacks HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY outside of the ring and is run off by BILLY GUNN. KAMA comes out to attack Helmsly and THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS make him leave. Rocky goes to distract the ref. and D’Lo Brown tries to attack Hunter with the WWF European title. Hunter attacks him then turns around and walks into a “rock bottom” from Rocky then gets pinned for the first fall. IN fall 2 D’Lo tries to attack again and CHYNA puts him out. The ref. goes out to yell at Chyna and X-POC attacks Rocky. Hunter gets a two count. Rocky eventually takes a chair from Hunter and misses Hunter and hits the ref. Chyna then low blows Rocky and DDT’s him on a chair. Hunter gets the pin for fall two. The ref. is injured and leaves. The bell rings anyway and Hunter pins Rocky but the new ref. doesn’t make it in time. 2 and a half count. Match goes to a time limit draw . . . THE UNDERTAKER arrives at the arena . . . DUSTIN RUNNELS comes out and leads a prayer before the Bikini contest. MZ. JACKIE displays her “talents”. SABLE takes off her robe and then says that VINCE MCMAHON said it was in her best interest to wear something “conservative”. She said the outfit (which covers alot up) is his idea of “conservative” but not hers. She says she owes it to the fans to try something. She takes off her shirt to reveal that she’s wearing a set of pasties in the form of hands to cover up. MARC MERO demands that she covers up. She refuses and Sable wins the bikini contest. Vince McMahon comes to the ring and puts his jacket over Sable and escorts her out . . . KANE & MANKIND vs. THE UNDERTAKER & STEVE AUSTIN: THE UNDERTAKER pins MANKIND to win the title belts. Undertaker leaves with both belts . . .

ECW 7/25/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: JOEY STYLES brings out FRANCINE & SHANE DOUGLAS. After the intro Douglas & Styles go to the broadcast booth. TAZ comes to the ring and thanks the fans for being loyal. He goes through the situation where Shane Douglas threw down the NWA belt in order to create the ECW title. He goes through how Douglas left for the WWF after losing the ECW title. Taz says that Douglas isn’t a “Franchise” because he hasn’t been true to ECW. He says if anyone thinks his END OF THE WORLD belt isn’t a real belt they can come out and take it from them. BAM BAM BIGELOW comes out and answers the call. LANCE STORM & CHRIS CANDIDO attack Taz when he tries for the Tazmission and do the ROLLING THUNDER finisher of SABU & ROB VAN DAM. Van Dam & Sabu attack them and force them out of the ring. BILL ALPHONSO extends a hand to Taz to reunite. Taz takes his title belt and leaves . . . highlights of TOMMY DREAMER vs. BUH BUH RAY DUDLEY: Dudley wins with help from a guitar . . . highlights of THE SANDMAN vs. D-VON DUDLEY:
Sandman wins with a side Russian leg sweep . . . highlights of BIG DICK DUDLEY vs. BIG DICK DUDLEY: Big Dick gets the pin after a torture wrack . . . comments from Chris Candido & Lance Storm . . . highlights or LANCE STORM & CHRIS CANDIDO vs. SABU & ROB VAN DAM for the ECW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Candido is wearing head gear to protect an ear that was injured by Sabu & Van Dam. Storm slaps Candido in the ear and leaves him to get pinned by Van Dam & Sabu . . . comments from BILL ALPHONSO, SABU & ROB VAN DAM. They have a title defense at the PPV next week but no one to face them now that Storm & Candido broke up . . . comments from THE DUDLEY BOYS & JOEL GERTNER . . . Comments from TOMMY DREAMER . . .

WHAT YOU MISSED: BOBBY EATON fell to SCOTT PUTSKI . . . a look at the controversy with BOOKER T and the WCW WORLD TV TITLE . . . JIM DUGGAN vs. STEVIE RAY goes to double DQ when both attack the ref . . . a look at ERIC BISCHOFF dissing JAY LENO . . . RICK FULLER over DOC DEAN . . . comments from DEAN MALENKO . . . BARRY HORROWITZ fell to CHRIS ADAMS . . . a look at SCOTT STEINER and BUFF BAGWELL attacking RICK STEINER . . . THE VILLIANOS fell to HIGH VOLTAGE . . . an interview with BUFF BAGWELL . . . a look how BRET HART defeated DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE to earn the WCW UNITED STATES TITLE . . . a look at the WCW MOTOR SPORTS action of the week . . . ROADBLOCK won a jobber match . . . an interview with STEVIE RAY . . . JERRY FLYNN fell to FIT FINLEY . . . an interview with LEX LUGER & CURT HENNIG . . . a look at how THE GIANT & SCOTT HALL won the WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES . . . SCOTT HALL over KONNAN . . .

Promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS’s Pennsylvania Championship Wrestling ran its monthly card at the Cloisters at St. Joe’s in Reading, PA, on Friday, July 24, and I decided to take the 130-mile ride up there from the Baltimore area to see it.

Before the show, I shoot the bull a bit with ECWA promoter JIM KETTNER as well as ubiquitous photographer TIM WALKER.  Walking around ringside to harass the crowd, as usual, is MR OOH LA LA.  At one point, he extends his hand to a little girl at ringside.  The girl, who looks no more than three years old, refuses the handshake, turns her back to Ooh and walks away.  Where is Tim’s camera when we need it.  Seated a row in back of me is what has to be the CHEETAH MASTER fan club, complete with signs and t-shirts honoring the indie star whose career is on hold (perhaps permanently) due to knee and leg injuries.

Attendance estimated between 275 and 300.  Announcer:  MATT DeSANTIS, making his last Cloisters appearance for a long while, as he starts college next month at Furman University in North Carolina.  Timekeeper at the bell:  some guy with a ponytail.  Referees:  LARRY PEACE, PAUL TURNER, JAMIE THOMPSON.

Let the matches begin:

MATCH 1:  PAT SHAMROCK vs. PATCH.  Patch, making his first PCW appearance, comes out wearing an eye patch, which provokes “Cyclops” chants from the crowd.  The Irishman is on the offense early, backing the newcomer into a corner; but Patch reverses the situation with Flair chops, choke holds, and a 2-count.  Shamrock hits a back suplex and schoolboys Patch for a 2-count.  He then hits with an atomic knee drop, a leg drop off the top turnbuckle, and a 2-count.  Patch hits a body slam; but Shamrock hits a belly-to-belly and an elbow smash off the top rope.  At this moment, the members of REVOLUTION X (RECKLESS YOUTH, FLASH FLANAGAN, JASON LEE and JUDD THE STUD) hit the ring and attack both wrestlers.  As Reckless takes the mike to do a “survey”, the Cheetah fan club behind me gets a “dickless youth” chant going.  This match ends in “no contest” at 4:45.

MATCH 2:  “STERLING” RICK SILVER & JOE “MR. 500” RULES & MONSIEUR OOH LA LA & “CELEBRITY” CHRIS KRUEGER vs. BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN & JEFF PETERSON & TOMMY GOLDEN & SCOTT FURIE.  Rich draws quick heat by talking about how Reading is the home of the most beautiful women in the world and wondering why none of these beautiful women have come to the arena tonight.  Ooh once again fails to successfully disrobe without tripping over his long pants.  The heels attack quickly at the opening bell; but when the dust clears, Peterson and Golden double-team Silver and send him scampering to his corner.  Krueger finally mounts an offensive for his team by back dropping Golden, and then tagging off to Rules, who never takes off his ring robe as he participates in a gang-attack on Golden as the ref is arguing with the face contingent.  BTW, Rules has the letters “POW” on the back of his robe.  Prisoner of wrestling? Print our words?  Prince of world?  Just plain “pow”?  Beats me.  Back to the match:  Rick gets a 2-count on Tommy before the faces finally disregard the ref and clean house.  Rick and Joe double-team Tommy, but Tommy dodges Rick’s flying tackle and there is a Silver-Rules collision.  With the woozy Silver in mid-ring, he is hit by flying drops from both Golden and Peterson, with Boogie Woogie doing the big splash for the pin.  BROWN/PETERSON/GOLDEN/FURIE by pinfall in 5:25.  I’m trying to remember if Scott Furie actually participated in the match except for the mayhem at the beginning of the match.

There are two eight-man over-the-top battle royals scheduled for the evening, with the winners of each event becoming the tag team that will face MIKE QUACKENBUSH and INFERNO KID for the tag titles later in the card.

MATCH 3:  “SUPERSTAR” LANCE DIAMOND wins the first one in 2:48.  Order and times of elimination: SCOTT FURIE (1:26), JEFF PETERSON (1:38), SWEET EBONY LIVELY (1:52), PAT SHAMROCK (2:08), “CELEBRITY” CHRIS KRUEGER (2:37), PATCH (2:40), MR OOH LA LA (2:48) and the winner, “SUPERSTAR” LANCE DIAMOND.

MATCH 4:  For the Commonwealth championship:   Champion RECKLESS YOUTH (with JUDD THE STUD) vs. challenger DAVE PATERA (with DAWN MARIE).  Patera, who must weigh less than Rey Misterio, still comes out flexing those two-pound weights to the Olympic Games theme; but since the last time I saw him, he’s become a good guy with the guidance of Dawn Marie.  Reckless comes out to a “Ronald McDonald” song (“That’s my Ronald”) that I’ve never heard him come out to before, but this must be his regular music in PCW.  It must have something to do with the line in the song that talks about Ronald’s being “not afraid to break the rules”.  The crowd gets on Reckless immediately, with chants of “chia pet” and “dickless youth”.  Reckless calls Patera a “jabronie” over the mike.  In the beginning Reckless toys with Patera and stalls a lot while arguing with the crowd.  Patera finally hits with a savate kick that propels Youth out of the ring.  Dave follows with a plancha, and then noggin-knocks Reckless and manager Judd.  Reckless hits a rompecojones and then struts around the ring, dragging the ref arm-in-arm with him to prevent the ref from seeing Judd choke Dave. Dawn Marie finally pries  Reckless follows with a series of legdrops, a back body slam and a frog splash off the top turnbuckle; but rather than go for the pin, he is distracted by an argument between Judd and Dawn Marie.  At this point LANCE DIAMOND comes out to watch his manager Dawn’s back, and Judd moves out of the way.  Patera gets some 2-counts after body slams.  Reckless hits a belly-to-back suplex, but the referee is not around to count for a pin because he is arguing with Diamond.  Reckless turns around to see what’s going on, and Patera schoolboys him for a 2-count.  The referee clearly indicates to the crowd and to the timekeeper that it’s a 2-count; but the bell rings, and ring announcer Matt DeSantis announces that Patera is the new Commonwealth champion.  It was clearly a 2-count, but it ended the match.  WTF?  Anyway, PATERA by 2/3 of a pinfall in 9:28.

Reckless and Judd are rather indignant at this turn of events, as this time they are indeed correct as far as the count.  Judd DDT’s the ref before walking away.  The crowd roars its approval of the Patera victory.  As for me, I’m really confused–and absolutely *nothing* was said about this the rest of the night.  Hmmmmmm.

MATCH 5:  A stretcher match–J.R. RYDER vs. ARMAGEDDON (with JOE RULES). After some early mixing up, Armageddon doesn’t leap cleanly over J.R. and is screaming in pain on the mat.  As the stretcher is brought out and J.R. even offers a hand to help him to the stretcher, Arm shows he is in perfect health by DDT’ING Ryder.  Arm follows with some punches, a side body drop.  It is at this point that J.R. decides to even the score a bit by bringing a chair into the ring.  He throws Mr. Geddon into the chair, then drop kicks him on to the chair, hits him with more chairshots, and whips him into the chair again.  As Ryder charges into the corner for an attempted splash, the ref gets in the way and the ref is ko’d.  At this point, JOE RULES enters the ring with a rag dipped in some sort of liquid.  He applies it to J.R.’s nose and mouth, and J.R. falls unconscious to the mat.  When the ref comes to, he sees Armageddon draped over Ryder, and declares the match finished at 6:16.  ARMAGEDDON wins as Ryder is carried out on the stretcher.

GUEST APPEARANCE:  For the first time since he suffered his career-ending injury, CHEETAH MASTER (announced as being “the greatest independent wrestler of all time”) comes to the ring to thank the fans for their support over the years (pointing specifically to the guys behind me with the signs and t-shirts), and thanking them for all the get-well notes he received while he was in the hospital.  He also wishes departing ring announcer MATT DeSANTIS good luck in college.

INTERMISSION:  Some small talk with Dawn Marie, Joe Rules and Brandi Mankiewicz, and some larger talk with teenage phenom Jeff Peterson.  Jeff and his family are in the process of moving to Florida, and he is already booked on a card down there this fall.  When time permits, he will be returning to his Wilmington hometown to wrestle on the monthly ECWA shows.

MATCH 6:  The second of the battle royals is won by RECKLESS YOUTH in 2:32, and boy, is LANCE DIAMOND pissed, as he realizes that he and Reckless will be teamed together to wrestle for the tag title.  Order and times of elimination:  BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN (a true “group effort” to toss him over the ropes at :36), ARMAGEDDON (:40), “STERLING” RICK SILVER (1:11), JOE “MR. 500” RULES (1:28), TOMMY GOLDEN (1:46), PAT SHAMROCK (2:20), DAVE PATERA (2:32), and the winner, RECKLESS YOUTH.

LANCE DIAMOND grabs the mike and tells promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS that he doesn’t want to team with Reckless.  Dawn Marie tries to calm her charge down.  Reckless then calls out his manager JUDD THE STUD, who doesn’t appear at first, prompting Reckless to wonder aloud whether Judd is in the bathroom. Reckless insults Dawn Marie by calling her a transvestite.  When Judd finally comes out at the end of the speech, there is a long swatch of toilet paper dragging from one leg of his pair of shorts.

MATCH 7:  For the PCW heavyweight title, champion JULIO “HOT STUFF” SANCHEZ vs. challenger DON MONTOYA.  Montoya arrives first and harangues the crowd, who answer with a “pork chop” chant.  Montoya then rags on his opponent, saying that *he* is a real Hispanic whereas Sanchez only “pretends to be Hispanic”.  Sanchez arrives wearing black/silver wrestling tights, the first time I have ever seen him without his usual red/silver outfit.  Sanchez hits almost immediately with a head scissors that sends Montoya out of the ring, accented by a Julio plancha.  Re-entering the ring, Montoya is caught with another head scissors and a 2-count.  Don answers with some pushes, punches, stomps and slams.  He sits on Julio while Julio’s neck is on the ropes.  Julio avoids a charging Don, but misses a flying body block of his own.  Montoya with a back suplex and a 2-count.  He throws Sanchez out of the ring and on to the floor.  Back in the ring, Don misses a sit-in, and Julio hits a flying ax handle.  Don with a back body drop and a 2-count.  He argues the count with the ref and is school boyed by Julio for another 2-count.  Don does an atomic body drop; but Julio mounts his big offensive with a karate kick, a bulldog off the top turnbuckle, a dropkick, and a 2-0count.  Don reverses a whip, and goes for the splash into the ropes, but Julio moves away.  The champ then hits a savate kick and gets the 3-count.  SANCHEZ retains the title with a pinfall in 7:19.

MATCH 8:  For the PCW tag-team title:  Champions “LIGHTNING” MIKE QUACKENBUSH & INFERNO KID vs the reluctantly-teamed challengers “SUPERSTAR” LANCE DIAMOND & RECKLESS YOUTH (with, respectively, the equally reluctantly-paired DAWN MARIE & JUDD THE STUD).  Before the match, Reckless and Judd offer Lance a membership in Revolution X, to which Lance responds to Judd, “Are you smoking crack?”  Not to be outdone, Judd retorts that given who his manager is (Dawn Marie), Lance must know a lot about “crack”.  Quack and Reckless start out by trading some flying maneuvers and wristlocks before Reckless kicks quack and gets the advantage.  A reluctant tag-in by Lance leads to the two bickering, enabling the woozy Quack to get to his corner and tag Inferno.  Lance locks up with Inferno, and eventually hip-rolls both his opponents.  Another reluctant tag and argument here.  Quack turns Reckless’s schoolboy attempt into a partial non-submission Boston crab, as Inferno baseball slides into Youth’s face.  The champs double team youth, as Judd yells for Lance to interfere and save his partner.  Yet another argument.  Judd trips Quack coming off the ropes, and he is told by Lance not to interfere in the match.  Reckless gets the advantage with a neckbreaker and some knee drops on Quack.  Judd chokes Quack’s head on the middle rope, but Lance throws him off.  More arguing. Reckless misses a moonsault, and Quack tags to Kid.  Kid cleans house with elbow drops and clotheslines, throwing the challengers out of the ring.  Kid follows with a noggin-knocker, and Quack accentuates with a plancha or tope or whatever.  Back in the ring, Quack hits a gut-wrench suplex and gets a 2-count on Youth.  With Kid holding on for added leverage, Quack then top-rope bulldogs Reckless.  Lance and Quack then battle in one corner, Reckless and Kid battle in the middle.  Reckless hits a frog splash and gets a 2-count. Kid then gives Youth a neck breaker off the top rope.  With the referee involved in trying to break up Diamond and Quackenbush, Judd takes Reckless’s light-heavy belt and dives off the top rope to clock Inferno with the belt. The referee then turns around and counts to three as Reckless covers for the pin.  RECKLESS & DIAMOND are the new champs by pinfall in 10:50.

As JUDD THE STUD parades around the ring holding both tag belts high, DAWN MARIE grabs one of the belts and gives it to Diamond.  Reckless leaves the ring just with Judd, as Lance and Dawn stay in the ring to help and shake hands with the dethroned champs.  Lance apologizes for the behavior of his partner and promises a rematch.

Lance then stays in the ring and delivers a tribute to departing ring announcer MATT DeSANTIS.  Dawn Marie gives Matt a special good-by kiss, as Lance assures Matt that in college, he’d get “much more than that”.

MATCH 9:  “HANDSOME” JASON LEE & FLASH FLANAGAN (with JUDD THE STUD) vs. GLENN OSBOURNE & DON ROCK.  This is a Texas Death tag match, in which one team is declared the winner after an opponent is unable to get up after a 10-count.  No rules otherwise, which makes it a particularly difficult match to describe, i.e.: your quintessential cluster[copulativeact].  Flanagan and Lee are members of Revolution X by way of the Music City Wrestling promotion.  I’ve never seen Lee before, but IMHO he bears an uncanny physical resemblance to Chris Candido.  In and out of the ring, chairs, barriers, stomps, chokes, mayhem.  The chairs play a role in many of the top-rope and high-impact maneuvers, and Lee is bleeding early.  Too much action to describe here.  Several pins, which, of course, don’t count as the wrestlers make it up before the 10-count.  The end comes when both Flanagan and Osbourne collide in mid-ring, and the ref announces that the first wrestler up will win the match for his team.  Lee tries to pick up Flash but loses his own balance, and the two fall down again as Osbourne finally makes it to his feet for the win. OSBOURNE & ROCK in 13:30.

PCW has some freebie county-fair or exhibition shows coming up in Temple, PA on July 25 and Muhlenberg, PA on July 30.  They return to the Cloister on Friday, September 25 with the usual 7:30 bell time.  They also have a show scheduled in Pottstown, PA, at Pottstown Senior High School on Saturday, October 10, with a 7 pm bell time.

WHAT YOU MISSED: VINCE MCMAHON swaggers out. He reviews how THE UNDERTAKER became the #1 contender to the WWF WORLD TITLE. McMahon reviews this theory that the Undertaker and KANE are in cahoots. He calls out The Undertaker. He says that The Undertaker has to face Mankind & Kane tonight in a handicap match since The Undertaker has no respect for McMahon. McMahon orders the Undertaker to leave, then says that the Undertaker can go to hell. The Undertaker grabs him and chokeslams him. PAT PATTERSON & JERRY BRISCO come in and get put out. Then COMMISH SLAUGHTER gets nailed and chokeslammed. Patterson and McMahon briefly go at it on the way out . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY loses the WWF EUROPEAN TITLE to D’LO BROWN when ROCKY MIAVIA interferes while the ref. is trying to handle CHYNA . . . comments from DX . . . QUEBECER PIERRE fell to STEVE WILLIAMS in a BRAWL FOR ALL match . . . a look at VAL VENIS’ antics last week . . . MR. YAMAGUTCHI berates his wife for sleeping with Venis. He makes her kneel down in the ring and plans to make her crawl through his legs while he uses a paddle on her. She starts but Val Venis comes into the ring and takes out KEINTAI with the paddle . . . ANIMAL vs. SKULL — match doesn’t happen. DOA attacks Animal and PAUL ELLERING is about to run Animal over with his motorcycle when HAWK makes the save . . . JEFF JARRETT falls to STEVE BLACKMON. After the match OWEN HART attacks KEN SHAMROCK, who was at ringside backing Blackmon. DAN SEVERN, who was also at ringside, refuses to get involved and walks off . . . MICHAEL COLE tries to catch THE UNDERTAKER, who is leaving . . . STEVE AUSTIN comes out and says that Vince McMahon deserves to be “screwed” by the Undertaker. McMahon orders Austin to face Kane & Mankind. Austin refuses. McMahon says that if Austin doesn’t fight in the match, he’ll give the title to the Undertaker. Austin says okay he’ll beat up Mankind & Kane then go to the back and beat up McMahon afterwards . . . a look at OWEN HART attacking the comedian who impersonated him in the DX “NOD” skit . . . FAROOQ fell to OWEN HART. After the match KEN SHAMROCK attacked Hart . . . words from PAUL BEARER, MANKIND & KANE . . . MARC MERO & MZ. JACKIE come out. Jackie wants SABLE to come out and raise her hand in victory. Sable comes out covered head to toe in a sun dress. Jackie strips Sable of the dress and Sable’s in her bra and panties in the ring. THE EDGE attacks Mero while Mero is stunned by Sable’s outfit . . . SHAWN MICHAELS comes out to commentate . . . a look at 8 BALL falling to TOO COLD SCORPIO in a BRAWL FOR ALL match . . . comments from THE NATION OF DOMINATION . . . XPOC vs. ROCKY MIAVIA — WWF IC TITLE MATCH: it’s an all out brawl between DX and NOD before the match. Towards the end of the match the ref. is knocked out and HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY attacks Miavia. XPOC goes to pin Miavia but a second ref. came in and threw the match out. It turned into a huge brawl . . . MANKIND & KANE vs. STEVE AUSTIN — HANDICAP MATCH: THE UNDERTAKER comes to the ring and gets into Austin’s corner. Austin takes Kane towards the Undertaker, Undertaker raises a chair and Austin ducks and the Undertaker hits Kane with the chair. Austin then takes the chair and puts everyone out with it . . .

WHAT YOU MISSED: NITRO GIRLS . . . SCOTT HALL comes out and disses KEVIN NASH . . . STEVIE RAY over JOHNNY BOONE. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. comes out with the WCW WORLD TV TITLE, which Ray said he gave back to BOOKER T, drops the belt and runs off . . . comments from RICK STEINER. They wheel out MARCUS BAGWELL during this interview. Steiner apologizes to Bagwell for causing his injury. Bagwell accepts his apology. As they embrace SCOTT STEINER attacks Rick with a chair, then Bagwell gets out of his chair and attacks Rick with the chair. Bagwell then takes off his shirt to reveal an NWO HOLLYWOOD shirt . . . an interview with CHRIS JERICHO. He says that he’ll give DEAN MALENKO one last shot for the WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE . . . SCOTT HALL comes out when they’re about to show the KEVIN NASH interview from last week. Hall says that Nash could get help . . . SICK BOY fell to STEVE MCMICHAEL . . . I fast forwarded through the ERIC BISCHOFF show . . . SCOTT HALL stops the production booth from playing the Kevin Nash interview. Hall takes the tape and throws it at Kevin Nash. They brawl then NWO HOLLYWOOD attack Hall. NWO WOLFPAC make the save . . . BRET HART comes out and demands DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE in the ring. We cut to the dressing room and KONNAN is screaming for help as DDP is on the ground after an attack. Hart goes to the ring. JJ DILLION goes to the ring. Dillion says that the match isn’t going to take place right now . . . YUGI NAGATA over SATURN when SATURN interferes behind the ref.’s back. THE FLOCK attacks Saturn after the match and KANYON makes the save but Saturn attacks him . . . STING & KEVIN NASH lose the WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES to THE GIANT & SCOTT HALL when BRET HART distracts Sting for a Hall attack and pin . . . ALEX WRIGHT & THE DISCO INFERNO fell to THE GREAT MUTA & MASAHIRO CHONO. After the match SCOTT NORTON comes out and destroys Disco & Wright . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . TOKYO MAGNUM fell to THE ULTIMO DRAGON . . . JIM POWERS fell to SCOTT NORTON . . . a special look at HOLLYWOOD HOGAN . . . HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & NWO HOLLYWOOD come out and babble . . . KONNAN vs. EDDY GUERRERO: CHAVO GUERRERO JR. comes out dressed at Konnan. Konnan takes Chavo’s horse and attacks Eddy with it and gets DQ’d . . . CURT HENNIG vs. LEX LUGER: ref. bump. RICK RUDE attacks Luger and gets torture racked. Hennig attacks Luger and gets the pin with Rude holding Luger’s leg . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. BRET HART — to fill the WCW U.S. TITLE: a heavily bandaged DDP limps out. Easy sharpshooter win for Hart . . .

Another week of Notes of the Mad Dog after a few weeks of sitting out of action and I’m in pain. No, it’s not from the eye surgery I had this week, it’s from watch WCW Saturday night. Here it is, a semi-beautiful Saturday evening and instead of being out with real live people I’m sitting at home trying to make it through another Saturday night.

I remember a time when the action was taped close to the same week as current events in the wrestling world. I remember a time when WCW Saturday Night (and all the shows that came before it in the 6:05 to 8:05 slot), were hot — shows that you’d look forward to. A place where the Mulkeys could defeat the Gladiators, where Dusty Rhodes could attack Jim Crockett, where the Russians and the Road Warriors could have an immortal showdown of who was the biggest power, of . . . well of anything but the horrid crap it currently is.

Right now I cringe as soon as the show starts and I hear Scott Hudson. Hudson and Mike Teney are like the announcing team of the living dead. Sure they’re fine when they’re around people with pulses, but on the show that WCW forgot and the night that WCW forgot they’re atypical of the twilight show that this show has become.

Frankly, the two make me long for the horrid “let’s do commentary over the PA system” announcers at the ECWA shows in Delaware. At least we can see that those guys are living as I’ve seen them eat hot dogs and flirt with actual living breathing Delaware women. Hudson and Teney are automatons, I’m not ruling out that they’re computer generated, and if the Ring Report’s coverage of WCW Saturday Night takes a few weeks off, I’ve discovered the secret and they’ve sent the computer generated Enforcers (hmm, maybe that’s how they’ll bring him back to the Horsemen), after me.

For how horrible WCW Saturday Night is, at least I still occasionally watch it, unlike WWF LIVEWIRE, which I abandoned ages ago, and WWF SUPERSTARS, which if I’m up and (insert 1,000 other shows here) isn’t on I’ll watch. I’ll also watch it Live, which is also a rare thing. Lately I’ve been taping WCW NITRO & THUNDER and WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW because I need fast forward. There’s a thousand different reasons for this (even though RAW has been pretty good lately), but it comes down to the fact that there’s not enough there for my to waste my Monday nights any more. Wednesday afternoons, sure, but Monday nights no.

The WWF is adding to the prime time line-up for the next few weeks. Starting next Sunday night they’re going to put on “WWF Sunday Night Heat” for 5 weeks at 7 PM Eastern on Sunday Nights. Yes, the WCW and ECW both have PPV’s scheduled in the month of August that start at 7 PM and are in conflict with it, however the WWF has apparently pushed Summerslam back to an 8 PM Start time to accommodate the new show. Hopefully this show will be more like RAW and less like SUPERSTARS, but only time will tell.

Now the important news. The Ring Report is back at RINGREPORT@AOL.COM for all subscriptions, etc. We were having some problems with Hotmail and frankly it was a pain in the rear end. We only changed in the first place because too many people put the Ring Report on every adult mailing list out there but thanks to the power of my handy delete key that’s no longer a problem.

With that I’m out for another week. Next week Notes from the Mad Dog returns with a look at the state of wrestling video games. It’s one that will bore you to tears — promise!

Have a great Week!

The Ring Report TV Update is published weekly on RSPWI. It is now available via subscription by sending a “SUBSCRIBE” message to We do accept tv & house show report submissions as well as column submissions (as long as the columns are short), and all should be sent to  All reports are (c) 1998 MAD DOG BYTES COMPUTERS and not for reuse or retransmission without permission.