The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #38, Aug. 25, 1998
(“Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.” — Nietchze)
Wrestling Explosion Promotion ran their first show on August 23, at the Sports Plus in Lake Grove, NY. Crowd was approximately 200.
The Man Goldbald defeated Cowboy Bad Billy Walker with a legdrop. (Was this a sign of things to come or what?)
Next up, Larry The One And Only Love (who wrestled as bad as his name is) beat Stan the Man with a dropkick.
Damian Dragon was victorious over Bandido Kid with a swinging neckbreaker. (We now begin to notice a pattern… all the faces are winning… plus, they are always the 2nd man to be introduced…hmm.)
Sweet Destiny rolled up Texas Rose (from Texas by the way) in a ladies bout which saw the only high spot of the evening.
Soulman Mr Clean defended his Super Heavyweight Championship (which he owns) against Lucifer.
The Happy Hillbilly Cousin Luke and Kid USA Armond beat The German Skull Von Kruss and Luscious Johnny Valiant. (No need to say anything else here).
George The Animal Steele defeated the Spanish Angel (who was subbing for Iron Sheik who was at ringside but didn’t wrestle).
In the main event, Tito Santana defeated the Honky Tonk Man. The highpoint of this was prior to the bout when Honky sang his theme song twice!!!
WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 8/23/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: GOLGA & KURRGAN vs. SOUTHERN JUSTICE: ends in DQ when LUNA comes into the ring. JEFF JARRETT tries to cut Luna’s hair but is scared off by GIANT SILVA . . . ANIMAL vs. D’LO BROWN — WWF EUROPEAN TITLE — HAWK, apparently drunk, gets into the ring and things that it’s a tag match. MARK HENRY attacks Hawk & Animal, PUKE makes the save . . . a look at the BRAWL FOR ALL . . . DAN SEVERN & OWEN HART over THE HEADBANGERS . . . ROCKY MIAVIA says he’s going to defeat HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY in a ladder match at SUMMERSLAM . . . TAKA MICHINOKU over SCORPIO. After the match VAL VENIS harasses Taka . . . comments from MARIO LOPEZ . . . a recap of RAW’S showdown between STEVE AUSTIN & THE UNDERTAKER . . . PUKE falls to JEFF JARRETT via DQ when X-POC comes into the ring and cuts Jarrett’s hair with Puke’s help . . .
NWA IN MT HOLLY on 8/22/98 by CACTUSB@AOL.COM
The NWA returned to the beautifully air conditioned (well 2 fans) National Guard Armory, on 8/21 for the latest installment of Hot Stuff International vs NWA.
In the opening bout, the Misfits (Lupus &ÿHarley Lewis) defeated Twiggy H Ramirez and Judas Young w/ Madonna Wayne Gacy. It was a shame to see a talent like Twiggy wasted in this match but thus is life. Nothing spectacular as Misfits win by pinning Judas after the slingshot ddt.
Ray Odyssey was victorious over the Inferno Kid. Inferno started out on the mic doing his Eddy Guerrero impersonation. (Why have I been screwed over for 3ÿyears. Yadda Yadda Yadda). Ray came out to a good pod. Throughout the bout,ÿ4 ringside fans continuously sang beer songs for Ray, who seemed to appreciate the entertainment. (Some of the hits covered included 99 bottles, “Here’s to good friends”, Bud Wei Ser, “I want Scotch, bourbon, beer”. Enjoyable bout with good crowd reaction.
At this point, “Hot Stuff” began playing over the sound system. Tod Gordon, the Pitbulls, 911, and Stevie Richards entered the ring. Tod announced the original mac daddies of violence to the crowd…The Public Enemy. Tod then asked Doug Gilbert to come to the ring and join Hot Stuff International. Doug refused. Tod introduced the newest acquisition…Missy Hyatt (looking better than ever) entered the building. Hot Stuff and Hyatt International was reborn.ÿÿDoug again refused and everyone headed back to their locker rooms. Jim Brambilla, who had professed his eternal undying love for Dawn Marie at the last show, at this point turned his back on the poor girl in favor of Missy Hyatt.
Patch was up next as he defeated Kevin (I wish that I had Jesse’s Girl) Knight. Intermission saw Hotstuff and Hyatt International in the ring for Polaroids. Being the occasional mark, I ran in to get a photo (and abused by Tod and Missy). One fan had his face shoved into Missy’s chest (Ron still hasn’t wiped the smile off his face.)
The next match was for the NWA Light heavyweight Title. The champion 911 (who won it the night before) faced Rik Ratchett. 911 dominated most of the match until Donnie B and Rik double teamed him with chair shots. Rik finally gave in and placed 911’s hand around his neck, setting himself up to be chokeslammed. Donnie B ran in and nailed 911 with his cue stick, only to be chokeslammed himself. 911 pinned Rik for the victory. (Unfortunately, Missy and Tod spent the entire match on the other side of the ring)
The NWA US Tag Title Match was next. The Pitbulls (accompanied by Tod and Missy) faced the champions, Lance Diamond and Steve Corino (sporting new speed racer tights) accompanied by Donnie B and Dawn Marie. The Pitbulls tried dissing Dawn Marie. Donnie B said Missy had taken more loads than a washing machine. She responded with, “At least I swallow and don’t spit!” Unfortunately, I was unable to focus on the match itself, as I was distracted by Missy. Missy requested that I get her a diet coke (which I did and she owes me $2). She then told me how she’d remove my spleen and how she has aÿ3.9 average in med school. Murph then asked her to check us for hernias. She also demonstrated an amazing technique which knocked or cohort Brams to the floor. (I never knew breasts could do that). The Pitbulls won with the superbomb on Corino. The post match celebration saw Missy wear the tag strap as a bra, removing her Everlast top underneath it. She also pulled the back of her shorts down for one of the Pitbulls to lick. What a classy lady!
The final bout of the evening saw Doug Gilbert and Stevie Richards brawl throughout the building. Again, Murph got a great line in, asking Missy if she could do the belt trick again (this time with my leather belt). Missy laughed. Doug was busted open. Doug was suplexed from the ring apron, through 2 tables. Doug piledrove Stevie on 2 chairs (one of which was mine) and went for the pin. Tod ran in and nailed Doug with the chair. (Mike the ref. had been ko’d by a Steviekick and a chair shot). A second ref ran in and made the three count. Dennis grabbed the chair as Hot Stuff left the ring. Doug got up, seeing Dennis with the chair. Several fans started yelling that Dennis had done it. Dennis called those 4 fans nitwits.
Next card is September 19th and will have some sort of cage bout. (It wasn’t clearly announced).
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at the three way dance between SABU, BAM BAM BIGELOW & TAZ from last weeks’ show . . . JOEL GERTNER interrupts an interview with SHANE DOUGLAS & FRANCINE. He says that THE DUDLEYS are owed a shot at the belts. ROB VAN DAM & BILL ALPHONSO come out. Van Dam says he’ll take on the Dudleys by himself tonight . . . JUSTIN CREDIBLE over THE SANDMAN . . . comments from Justin Credible . . . THE DUDLEYS vs. ROB VAN DAM — ECW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Van Dam fights valiantly until SABU, who was being fixed up in the back, can make the save. Sabu puts both Dudleys through a table. BAM BAM BIGELOW & CHRIS CANDIDO attack Sabu. TAZ makes the save. We fade out with Van Dam & Sabu seeming to offer to join up with Taz . . .
IPWA CHINCOTEAGUE 8/22/98 BY JEFF AMDUR (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Here are the results of the card presented by the Independent Pro Wrestling Alliance at the Chincoteague Island Community Center in Chincoteague, VA, on August 22.
Estimated attendance: a near-capacity, super-popping 475. Ring announcers: KEVIN CARSON and (for one match) DUSTIN TARR. Timekeeper at the bell: JEFF AMDUR (Hey, that’s me!) Referee: BARRY ROBERTS.
The proceedings started on a solemn note as a ten-bell salute was sounded for wrestler SHANE SHAMROCK, who died tragically last Monday. Shane had been booked on the card, and many of us had come to Chincoteague after attending his funeral this morning in Glen Burnie, MD. We’ll miss him.
JOEY MATTHEWS came to the ring both to insult the crowd and to complain about the ranking of JULIO SANCHEZ as the number one contender for CHRISTIAN YORK’s light-heavyweight title. A York-Sanchez match had been booked for later in the card. Matthews claimed that he is the one who is deserving of the top contender’s spot, and challenges Sanchez to an impromptu match, with that winner wrestling for the title later tonight. The challenge is accepted, and …
JULIO “THE LATIN DRAGON” SANCHEZ pinned JOEY “THE FUTURE” MATTHEWS in 4:34, re-affirming his status as the challenger for the light-heavy title later in the card.
BIG SLAM pinned ADAM FLASH in 4:45.
“DANGEROUS” DAN RAGE pinned BRUISER in 10:31.
TOM BRANDI pinned JIMMY CICERO (with VINNIE GAMBINI & CUEBALL CARMICHAEL) in 16:08, in a match where Cicero was repeatedly distracted by the crowd yelling “Sissy-ro! Sissy-ro!” at him. At one point, Brandi made sure Cicero heard the chants by having spectators at ringside yell it into the ringside microphone. By winning this match, Brandi will face IPWA champion “NATURE BOY” BUDDY LANDEL at the next Chincoteague card on Saturday, January 9.
JULIO “THE LATIN DRAGON” SANCHEZ completed a double-header sweep by pinning CHRISTIAN YORK in 14:11, thus winning the IPWA light-heavyweight title.
BRANDI WINE retained the IPWA women’s belt with a 9:14 pin over FOXY LADY (with JOEY MATTHEWS).
In the main event, KING KONG BUNDY (with BRANDI WINE) pinned CUEBALL CARMICHAEL (with VINNIE GAMBINI & JIMMY CICERO) in 6:41. The end came as Brandi Wine was able to pants Cueball, thus exposing his green 8-ball pattern undershorts to the crowd. Bundy quickly rolled up the embarrassed Cueball for the pin. A special note that Carmichael and Cicero wore matching blue and bold wrestling singlets to the ring tonight. Hmmmmmm…
As was stated before, the IPWA will return to Chincoteague, on Saturday, January 9, 1999, with a 7:30 bell time. Stay tuned to these boards for news of upcoming IPWA cards in the Washington, DC, metropolitan area.
UWA MARTINSBURG 8/21/98 by JEFF AMDUR (email@example.com)
Here are the quick results for the card presented by the United Wrestling Association on Friday, August 21 at the Berkeley County Fairgrounds Barn near Martinsburg, West Virginia. A more detailed report from BIG BAD BERNIE DIEHL will eventually be made available on Bernie’s “Independent and Proud of It” section of the Inside the Squared Circle website (www.itscwrestling.com).
Estimated attendance: 225-250. Ring announcer: BERNIE DIEHL. Timekeeper at the bell (and it was a real bell this time): JEFF AMDUR (Hey, that’s me!). Referees: DENNIS ANTHONY, DANNY STONE, and, for one match, STUD LEE OSBORNE.
The evening started with a ten-bell salute in memory of mid-Atlantic indie wrestler SHANE SHAMROCK, who died tragically last Monday. Many of the people on this card (including yours truly) will be going to the funeral tomorrow (Saturday) morning. He was a great talent who had recently won the Maryland Championship Wrestling light-heavyweight belt. I still can’t believe he’s gone. Those of us who knew him and saw him work will miss him more than any words written here can express.
“THE LATIN DRAGON” JULIO SANCHEZ pinned “RAMBLIN'” RICH MYERS in 9:48. This was a first-round match in the UWA light-heavyweight championship tournament. Julio will eventually meet the winner of next month’s first-round match, pitting CHRISTIAN YORK against JOEY MATTHEWS.
“COWBOY” FRANKIE LANE won the UWA brass knuckles championship, deposing STEVE LIGHTNING (with RAIN & RIOT & D. THUNDER & MORBY DICK) in an 8:04 pinfall.
Another title change, as LYVE WYRE (with DESIRE) pinned MO PAYNE (with THE MINISTER OF SINISTER) in 6:20, winning the U.S. belt. This would have been Wyre’s last chance to win the title, according to match stipulations.
THE DAWG POUND (O.D. & L.A. ROYALE, with CINDY LOU) beat the TRIFLING BASTARDS (RIOT & J.D. THUNDER, with MORBY DICK & RAIN) as a result of a count out in 11:18. Since there was no pinfall or submission, the Bastards retained the tag belts. At next month’s card there will be a “kennel” match between the two teams. Such a match was described as a variation on a lumberjack match. Also, the Dawgs promised a surprise for the Bastards.
A decision by judge STUD LEE OSBORNE gave the flowers and tiara to the winner of the bikini contest–KURT KYSER(?), edging out LUXURIOUS LYNNE, CINDY LOU and DESIRE. JOE RULES, the main squeeze of second-placer Lynne, complained vehemently and demanded a shot at Kyser’s UWA heavyweight belt later in the night. The match was signed, with the extra stipulation that Stud Lee be the guest referee.
After the intermission, the MINISTER OF SINISTER offered $10 (later reduced to $5) to any child in the audience who could bounce a basketball ten times. Needless to say, after the ninth bounce, he kicked the ball away from the chosen kid (probably about age 10). STEVE LIGHTNING came in to complain about the Minister, and wound up weakening Minister enough so that the little boy could put Min away with a diamond cutter.
Taking their long-running feud to West Virginia for the first time, LUCIFER (KNIGHT OF THE ROAD) pinned CAT BURGLAR in 6:25.
“FLAMBOYANT” KURT KYSER (with CINDY LOU and his “bitch”, BRIAN BLACK), billed as “the only trisexual in the world of wrestling” pinned JOE “MR. 500” RULES (with LUXURIOUS LYNNE) in 8:07, with the help of a very fast count from guest referee STUD LEE OSBORNE. After the match, Lynne attacked Stud, Cindy joined the fray, and a catfight ensued in the ring while the men were brawling outside the ring. I didn’t ring the bell to get help from the dressing room due to the intense intellectual stimulation aroused in me as a result of what was going on in the ring. 🙂 After everything was finally cleared, Rules stated that he wanted a match with a “real” ref at the next card, with Lynne and Cindy Lou handcuffed to each other at ringside.
In a grudge match, APOCALYPSE X (with the MINISTER OF SINISTER) forced NICKY “DA BULL” FURY (with CHUCK E. MANSON) to submit to the single-leg grapevine in 6:25. Thanks for supplying the name of the hold, Bernie 🙂
In a six-man elimination match to determine who gets a shot at new U.S. champion LYVE WYRE on next month’s card, “HARD ROCK” TERRY ALLEN (with V.I.P.) pinned second-placer DOC HOLLYWOOD in 19:04. The others in the fray and the match times when they were eliminated were RAID (counted out after being “hypnotized” by onlooker DAMON LEVAY MANSON in 3:13), “BITCHIN'” BRIAN BLACK (with CINDY LOU & KURT KYSER), CHUCK E. MANSON (with DAMON LEVAY MANSON) in 15:35), and SPINE in 16:44.
In the main event, NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & YET ANOTHER WRESTLING CLOWN pinned THE EXECUTIONERS in 12:17.
The UWA returns to the area on Saturday, September 19, with a 7:30 bell time. It will be held either at the Fairgrounds Barn (as it was tonight) or at a high school in the Martinsburg-Charles Town metro area.
WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 8/17/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: the show opens with STEVE AUSTIN trying to destroy the door to VINCE MCMAHON’S dressing room . . . Austin drives a hearse into the arena. He drags out a casket filled with beer. He stands on top of the hearse and drinks a beer then heads to the ring. He gives Vince McMahon 60 seconds to the ring. McMahon & cronies come in and Austin says he’s going to put the Undertaker in the casket tonight . . . OWEN HART vs. KEN SHAMROCK vs. DAN SEVERN: match is thrown out when Severn goes nuts on Shamrock. STEVE BLACKMON tries to make the save but Severn attacks him then leaves with OWEN HART . . . KAMA THE GODFATHER vs. BART GUNN — BRAWL FOR ALL: Gunn wins by knockout . . . BRIAN CHRISTOPHER vs. GANGREL: easy win for Gangrel . . . THE NATION OF DOMINATION & DEGENERATION X brawl in the dressing room . . . DOA over SCORPIO & FAROOQ . . . DX vs. NOD — 4 on 3 STREET FIGHT: SOUTHERN JUSTICE & JEFF JARRETT attack DX. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY is left bloodied in the ring . . . TIGER ALI SINGH gives $500 to some kid who will lick between RADU’S stinky toes . . . JACKIE vs. SABLE — ARM WRESTLING: Jackie drops the table on Sable and knocks her out . . . comments from VAL VENIS on his gauntlet match tonight . . . JUSTIN HAWK BRADSHAW over PUKE in a BRAWL FOR ALL match . . . comments from AL SNOW . . . comments from DUSTIN RHODES . . . SABLE comes to the ring anc calls out JACKIE. Jackie appears on the TITONTRON and challenges her to a mixed match at SUMMERSLAM. LUNA & THE ODDITIES attack MARC MERO & Jackie in the locker room . . . VAL VENIS falls to KAIENTAI in a GAUNTLET MATCH when he defeats 3 of the 4 members but falls to TAKA MICHINOKU . . . KANE (dressed as THE UNDERTAKER) brawls with STEVE AUSTIN. Austin throws Kane into the back of the Hearse and goes to drive him off but the Undertaker is behind the wheel and takes his brother off . . .
WCW NITRO 8/17/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: HOLLYWOOD HOGAN, ERIC BISCHOFF, THE GIANT & THE DISCIPLE come out. Hogan says he wants BILL GOLDBERG but says that THE GIANT will beat Goldberg tonight . . . JJ DILLION comes out with GENE OKERLUND. Dillion says that the Wargames this year will feature 3 teams of 3 men. The Captains will be DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & KEVIN NASH. The winner of the fall gets a shot at Goldberg at Halloween Havoc . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . MONGO over SICK BOY . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE tells GENE OKERLUND that he has a guy who is 1-0 against HOLLYWOOD HOGAN to be his partner at WARGAMES. He says that he wants BRET HART again. Bret Hart comes out. They agree to a match tonight . . . RAVEN comes out to talk to GENE OKERLUND. HORACE comes out and wants Raven in the ring. SATURN and KANYON come out. It turns into a challenge of SATURN & RAVEN vs. KANYON & HORACE in the ring. JJ DILLION comes out and makes the match official . . . HIGH VOLTAGE vs. ALEX WRIGHT & THE DISCO INFERNO: MENG comes out and kills everyone . . . EDDY GUERRERO comes out and says he’s done and that ERIC BISCHOFF can go to hell . . . SATURN & RAVEN defeated KANYON & HORACE. After the match THE FLOCK attacked Saturn . . . comments from THE WOLFPAC . . . SCOTT NORTON destroyed SCOTT PUTSKI . . . HOLLYWOOD HOGAN, ERIC BISCHOFF & THE DISCIPLE come out. The former ULTIMATE WARRIOR (now WARRIOR) comes out. Warrior rants for a while and says that Hogan never beat him . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . CURT HENNIG over DEAN MALENKO with help from RICK RUDE . . . SCOTT STEINER & BUFF BAGWELL come out with a guy they say is Scott’s doctor. The guy says that Scott can’t wrestle. RICK STEINER comes out and says he’s going to beat up his brother at FALL BRAWL . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . CHAVO GUERRERO JR. vs. STEVIE RAY vs. CHRIS JERICHO — 3 WAY FOR THE WCW WORLD TV TITLE: ref. bump. during this THE GIANT comes to the ring and destroys Stevie Ray. Chavo gets up at a 3 way 10 count then falls out of the ring. Jericho then gets up by the 10 count and is awarded the match . . . DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. BRET HART — WCW U.S. TITLE: DDP loses by DQ when the ref. finds a foriegn object placed in DDP’s trunks by BRET HART . . . THE GIANT vs. BILL GOLDBERG — WCW WORLD TITLE: THE DISCIPLE attacks Goldberg, resulting in a DQ of the Giant. SCOTT HALL comes in to attack Goldberg. Goldberg goes to spear him but Hall moves and the Goldberg spears KEVIN NASH. Nash and Goldberg get in each other’s faces as we fade out . . .
WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 8/16/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at KANE & MANKIND winning the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES on RAW . . . PUKE & ANIMAL fell to MANKIND & KANE . . . MARC MERO & JACKIE demand SABLE to come out. Sable comes out. Jackie wants to arm wrestle. Sable agrees . . . a look at EDGE . . . EDGE over BRIAN CHRISTOPHER . . . BART GUNN vs. VADER: THE GODFATHER (aka KAMA) attacks Gunn during the match to get the match thrown out . . . GANGREL over SCOTT TAYLOR . . . TIGER ALI SINGH continues to rip off the MILLION DOLLAR MAN gimmick, this time paying someone $500 to eat a worm . . . SOUTHERN JUSTICE vs. X-POC & HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY ends in DQ as JEFF JARRETT attacks X-POC. BILLY GUNN makes the save . . . THE UNDERTAKER comes out. STEVE AUSTIN comes out to confront him and we run out of time as KANE comes out from the back . . .
WHAT YOU MISSED: LANCE STORM vs. CHRIS CANDIDO: Storm announces that the WWF claims TAMMY SYTCH under contract, therefore she’s not going to be in Candido’s corner. We get highlights of the match and Storm wins after hitting Candido with the microphone . . . after a break JOEY STYLES explains that Storm was lying and that Tammy is out of her contract . . . SABU vs. TAZ — FTW TITLE: becomes a three way dance with these two vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW. Again we get highlights. Time limit draw after 30 minutes . . . JERRY LYNN vs. SABU — ECW WORLD TV TITLE: highlights and ROB VAN DAM gets the win . . . comments from JOEL GERTNER . . .
WCW THUNDER 8/13/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: KONNAN jobbed to SCOTT HALL . . . RAVEN vs. HORACE: THE FLOCK destroys HORACE. SATURN makes the save then the Horace attacks Saturn. KANYON makes the save but is attacked by Saturn . . . an interview with STEVIE RAY. He says he’s going to get his brother’s title back and he wants THE GIANT . . . CHAVO GUERRERO JR. vs. CHRIS JERICHO — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: Jericho breaks Pepe the toy horse. Chavo gets Pepe 2 — made out of a baseball bat and gets DQ’d for hitting Jericho with it . . . BRET HART comes out and says he’s going to beat LEX LUGER . . . PUBLIC ENEMY fell to ALEX WRIGHT & DISCO INFERNO. MENG attacked everyone after the match . . . KEVIN NASH comes out and explains that he and BILL GOLDBERG have made up . . . KEVIN NASH over CURT HENNIG by DQ when RICK RUDE attacked Nash. SCOTT HALL then attacked Nash. LEX LUGER made the save . . . BOOKER T over EDDY GUERRERO . . . BRET HART defeats LEX LUGER for the WCW U.S. TITLE . . .
HOPWF AT THE HOUSE OF PAIN IN HAGERSTOWN, MD, 8/11/98 by BORNEOJIMY@AOL.COM
WHAT YOU MISSED: BODY KOUNT defeated NEMESIS by DQ when MR. NICE GUY hit Body Kount with a chair . . . AIDIEAN defeated SETH JAMES (w/JR MANITOBA) by reverse decision. James had originally won by countout, but was DQ’D when the referee discovered that Manitoba had handcuffed Aidiean to the ringpost . . . OGB pinned JERKFACE . . . BIGGS (w/KATRAVINA) pinned Randy the Violator with a chokeslam . . . NWL/MECW champion John Rambo defeated JACK HAMMER by submission . . . MIKE LAWSON pinned LATIN TORNADO (w/SASSY), as a result, Lawson gets Sassy for 30 days . . . HOPWF cruiserweight champion BLACKHAWK pinned GUTTERBOY . . . HOPWF tag champs AIDIEAN & FLEX FENOM were DQ’D in their match with SKANK & SLICKYBOY when Mike Lawson ran in to help Fenom, who had been busted open with a chair. (After the match, Fenom was taken to a local hospital where he got 8 stitches) . . . Seth James (w/JR Manitoba) won a battle royal, last eliminating Blackhawk . . .
WCW MONDAY NITRO 8/10/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: NITRO GIRLS . . . THE BARBARIAN vs. JIM DUGGAN: it ends in a DQ as HUGH MORRIS attacks Duggan. MENG makes the save then chokes out Duggan, DOUG DILLENGER and others . . . LEX LUGER challenges BRET HART. He says he’s not leaving until he gets a fight or a match with him. Hart comes out. Luger challenges Hart to a U.S. Title match tonight and Hart accepts . . . a look at CHAVO GUERRERO vs. STEVIE RAY from ROAD WILD . . . THE DISCO INFERNO, ALEX WRIGHT and TOKYO MAGNUM come out. Inferno and Wright berate Magnum before his match with EDDY GUERRERO for screwing up. Magnum falls to Guerrero . . . SATURN vs. KANYON. RAVEN interferes behind the ref.’s back. Kanyon gets the win . . . SICK BOY fell to MONGO . . . HOLLYWOOD HOGAN, THE DISCIPLE & ERIC BISCHOFF come out. Hogan wants BILL GOLDBERG . . . CHAVO GUERRERO JR. vs. STEVIE RAY — WCW WORLD TV TITLE: CHRIS JERICHO comes out and breaks PEPE. Jericho takes the match and wins with the help of THE GIANT . . . ERIC BISCHOFF & MS. ELIZABETH come out. Eric shows photos from Road Wild of he and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE & JAY LENO. He claims to have won the match (in reality Leno pinned him) . . . LIZMARK JR. vs. PSYCHOSIS vs. REY MISTERIO JR.: Misterio Jr. gets the win . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . LEX LUGER vs. BRET HART — WCW U.S. TITLE: Luger wins with the torture wrack . . . pictures of JUVENTUD GUERRERA defeating CHRIS JERICHO for the WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE . . . BILLY KIDMAN fell to JUVENTUD GUERRERA in a WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE match . . . they show pictures of JAY LENO & DALLAS PAGE defeating HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & ERIC BISCHOFF . . . RAVEN brings out the FLOCK and chastises them then attacks HORACE and it turns into a match. KANYON distracts the flock while SATURN does a run in, takes out Raven, then puts Horace on top of Raven for the pin . . . NITRO GIRLS . . . KONNAN falls to CURT HENNIG by DQ when Konnan uses a chain to choke Hennig . . . STING & KEVIN NASH vs. THE GIANT & SCOTT HALL — WCW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: the Giant chokeslams the ref. to get his team DQ’d . . . MENG vs. GOLDBERG — WCW WORLD TITLE: NWO WOLFPAC and NWO HOLLYWOOD are “security” for the match as Meng has destroyed all the security guards in the building. GOLDBERG destroys MENG. HOLLYWOOD HOGAN attacks Goldberg with a chair. KEVIN NASH gets in the ring and saves Goldberg but Goldberg spears him when SCOTT HALL charges the ring . . .
WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 8/10/98
WHAT YOU MISSED: we start the show with MANKIND under the building on a rampage screaming that he wants the truth . . . a look at THE UNDERTAKER, dressed as KANE, attacking MANKIND last night . . . MANKIND comes to the ring and says he’s tired of being lied to. He says that PAUL BEARER never gave him the truth. The only person ever to give him the truth was VINCE MCMAHON. McMahon comes out. McMahon says he detests people who need help. McMahon says that KANE and THE UNDERTAKER are one in the same and are plotting against everyone. Kane comes out. McMahon rips off Kane’s mask. The lights go out. They come back on and it’s the Undertaker in the ring choking McMahon. Mankind attacks the Undertaker and McMahon runs off . . . THE UNDERTAKER returns to a lockerroom with KANE in it . . . SABLE comes to the ring to introduce LUNA and the ODDITIES . . . LUNA over JACKIE with SABLE’s help. After the match Sable presents Luna with the Bikini contest trophy . . . a limo arrives with THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS coming in withou DX . . . PUKE vs. SAVIO VEGA — BRAWL FOR ALL: Puke gets the win . . . CHYNA & HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY drive to the arena alone . . . MICHAEL COLE tries to get words from CHYNA. She tells him to “suck it” and shoves him down . . . THE LEGION OF DOOM comes out for a match and HAWK falls down on the way to the ring. After a break WWF officials will not let Hawk wrestle. Hawk is apparently drunk . . . a look at SOUTHERN JUSTICE destroying TENESSEE LEE last night when he ordered them to attack JEFF JARRETT . . . SOUTHERN JUSTICE vs. THE LEGION OF DOOM: the match wasn’t going to happen but Hawk attacked Southern Justice before the match. PUKE makes the save of ANIMAL. JEFF JARRETT then comes out and attacks Puke with a guitar then cuts Puke’s hair . . . X-POC arrives to the arena by himself . . . DX comes out. They tease a break up. It turns into them staying together when Chyna partially moons the crowd . . . MICHAEL COLE is attacked by STEVE AUSTIN . . . KAMA vs. VADER: Vader accepts the prostitutes from Kama. After the match BILLY GUNN attacks Vader . . . comments from DUSTIN RUNNELS . . . JOHN BOBBITT wheels out VAL VENIS & MRS. YAMAGUCHI. Val Venis says he didn’t have his manhood cut off last week and then dismisses Mrs. Yamaguchi . . . MARC MERO vs. BRADSHAW — BRAWL FOR ALL: BRADSHAW wins in a tie-breaker round . . . ROCKY MIAVIA & D’LO BROWN vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. MANKIND & KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER & STEVE AUSTIN — WWF WORLD TAG TITLES: KANE & MANKIND win the titles when Kane pins the Undertaker . . .
IPW LEBANON, 8/8/98 by JEFF AMDUR (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Here are the results of the card presented by Ed Zohn’s International Pro Wrestling promotion that was held on August 8 at Eagle Hall in Lebanon, PA. Since I wound up being the bell guy for the evening, I didn’t take detailed notes, thus, the “quickie” format here.
Attendance estimated at 275-300 unbelievably enthusiastic pop-for-everything spectators. Ring announcer: DAN MORELAND. Timekeeper at the bell: JEFF AMDUR (Hey, that’s me!). Taking those digital pictures at ringside: CARRIE MESSANTONIO. Referee: JOHNNY GRAHAM.
CARRIE MESSANTONIO sang the National Anthem in 1:24, as the crowd spent the anthem time looking in vain for a flag to salute. The flag would be found later.
As promoter ED ZOHN welcomed the crowd and announced a couple of no-shows, MARK MEST and TROY MEST came out and complained about how they are here every month to set up the ring, yet never get a chance to wrestle. They call out CORPORAL PUNISHMENT (this is the Lebanon version of Corporal, BTW) and make some sort of challenge. As the angry Corporal argues with the Mests, MAXX CRIMSON comes up from behind and attacks Corp, with the Mests joining in. Finally, Zohn is able to order the three attackers to the back.
As ring announcer Moreland finally begins his spiel, he is interrupted by HARVEY WIPPLEMAN, who takes the mike and harangues the crowd. He calls them jealous, since he gets to leave Lebanon to go home to Mississippi after this card is over, but the folks in the crowd have to stay here. He also insults IPW champion TOM BRANDI, who is seated at a souvenir table in the back of the hall. When Harvey hurls some insults at one of the guys helping run the table, the guy rushes up and chases Wippleman around the ring.
MATCH 1: “LIGHTNING” MIKE QUACKENBUSH pinned ROB NOXIOUS (with HARVEY WIPPLEMAN) in 6:37. Quack rolled up Rob after hitting him with a moonsault off the top rope.
Then, DOUG FLEX and G.Q. BRONSKY come to the ring to insult G.Q.’s opponent for the evening, PAUL MITCHELL. Mitchell will oppose Bronsky later in the card, with the stipulation being that Flex will be handcuffed to Ed Zohn during the match.
MATCH 2: In a “first blood” tag team match, with the first person to bleed signaling his team’s losing the match, DON ROTT & GEORGE ANTHONY (with HARVEY WIPPLEMAN) beat LARRY BROWN & JAKE DANIELS, as referee Graham spotted blood on Larry’s forehead at the 9:22 mark. The rest of us at ringside thought Brown had a legit beef, as we didn’t see any blood at all.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT comes out again, demanding that promoter Ed Zohn sign a revenge match for him against MAXX CRIMSON later in the card. Crimson comes out and agrees, and Zohn will sanction it; but once again Corp is sneak-attacked by the Mest brothers, winding up on the bottom end of a splash from the 450-pound Mark Mest. There seems to be an arm and possibly rib injury, as Zohn calls for the doctor to examine Corp.
MATCH 3: TITO SANTANA pinned “BEEF STEW” LOU MARCONI (with NOTORIOUS NORM) in 14:00. The purple-clad Norm was the constant target of “Barney” chants from the crowd during the match. The end came as Norm covered Santana for a pin but used the middle turnbuckle and ropes for leverage. Ref Graham saw this and did not count, tapping Marconi to break the hold. Marconi thought the tap signified that he had pinned Santana, and gets up acting victorious. This enables Tito to schoolboy Lou for the legit pin.
MATCH 4: With DOUG FLEX and ED ZOHN handcuffed to each other, PAUL MITCHELL forced G.Q. BRONSKY to submit to a modified Boston crab in 5:59.
Coming out to the strains of Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana”, RECKLESS YOUTH arrives in the ring and insults the crowd, insisting that “anybody with guts enough to come out to ‘Copacabana’ deserves respect” and “Well, you may say I suck but you all swallow!”.
MATCH 5: RECKLESS YOUTH pinned “THE LATIN DRAGON” JULIO SANCHEZ in 14:37. At one point, Julio pushed referee Graham out of the way of a Reckless charge. Julio then hit an atomic backdrop and cradled Reckless for the pin; but Graham refused the count, making Sanchez break the hold and then yelling at him for pushing him before. While the two were arguing, Reckless school boyed Julio for the pin.
MATCH 6: CORPORAL PUNISHMENT was the winner over MAXX CRIMSON by disqualification at the 10:00 mark, as the MEST BROTHERS interfered and beat up Corporal, who was basically wrestling with his left arm useless. CREMATOR came in to make the save by hitting the Mests with chairshots. This will set up a revenge tag team match on the next Eagle Hall card involving Corp and Cremator against some combination of the Mests and Crimson.
MATCH 7: TOM BRANDI retained his IPW title by pinning DON MONTOYA (with NOTORIOUS NORM) in 10:04. Before the match, Brandi accepted a challenge from Norm that if Brandi did not bodyslam Montoya during the match, he would–win or lose–surrender the title to Montoya. Brandi slammed Montoya shortly before pinning him.
IPW returns to Eagle Hall on Saturday, November 28, with a 7:30 bell time.
From Jeff the IPW timekeeper-for-a-night.
NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
We’re playing catch up here as a lot of things going on at work has kept me quite busy. I took an entire week off from wrestling because I was too busy to watch it. Thankfully the only thing I really missed was well, Jay Leno in the ring embarrassing the sport.
My father had a stroke last week. He’s in his mid-50’s and over the last year he’s had a couple of heart attacks and now a stroke. This time it’s scary. This time it’s going to take a lot of time for him to come back from this and life can never be the same again.
While life is sorting itself out here I’m keeping half an eye on the wrestling world. The WWF seems destined to become ECW from 1996 – 1997 by stealing everything they can get their hands on (what next, Nicolle Bass?) while trying to out-Extreme “Extreme” by putting on a product that continues to focus on body parts, planted women in the crowd taking their tops off, and oh, yah, mediocre wrestling.
I don’t care for Brawl for All. It’s not wrestling. It’s some sort of boxing and boxing is dead. But who cares as long as you see Sable topless? I’m getting kind of tired of the endless Undertaker & Kane angles. It stopped making sense a long time ago. But who needs logic when you can go to a WWF show and see breasts from crowd members? I like the revamped Kurrgan. He dances better than Kevin Nash but the angle doesn’t make sense. But again, who needs logic when you can see a guy eat a live worm?
The WCW on the other hand, I don’t know if it ever made sense. We have three factions fighting and all the top stars put into single “event” matches. From the “battle royale” at the last PPV to the Wargames at the next, they’re putting all their big guys into one match. Not even a GOOD match, but some match designed to put over “WCW Savior” of the month — who will be NWO next month. This of course leaves us with matches like Bryan Adams vs. Mongo on PPVS. I’m not planning on buying PPVS again until something changes.
I don’t get this whole Raven angle. It’s like someone took a lot of heavy drugs and came up with a concept so brilliant and so earth shattering at that one moment of high that they took it and put it in place as the next big thing. Then they sobered up after it was set in place after they committed to it. Coming down from the high they totally forgot WHAT the angle was about WHAT any of this means and HOW THE HELL they can get out of it.
Mad Dog’s Rules: Give me an angle that makes sense. Stop rehashing the three way dance. Stop reliving the past and get off your butts and come up with something new. Or at least bring Kimona in so we can see her every week instead of Lodi. I mean, see above, who needs logic when you can see breast every week? <G>
Speaking of that the Nitro Girls are not wrestling. The WCW needs a good old fashioned valet. Someone like Precious or Sunshine or Baby Doll. Maybe not too pretty, maybe not out of the “adult entertainment” industry and someone who maybe has real breasts. No Amazon Kimberly clones, no Chyna clones (my god Chyna’s gone from an A cup to a DD in the past year), and by god no Sable clones.
The last one to come close to this was Tammy Fytch in Smokey Mountain. What was so appealing about her was she was a relatively plain girl next door who did a lot of silly things on camera while at the same time putting on the act of a traditional scheming valet. But, of course, the WWF turned her into “SUNNY” and the magic was gone. She became “let’s roll out the T&A — it’s Sunny!”
As we speak I’m watching ECW. Nicolle Bass’s neo-Orange frizzed out hair and boob job scares the hell out of me. She’s wrestling now over in Japan. What they’re going to do with her in ECW, I don’t know but that hair has to go. I saw how Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf had a make-over on Howard Stern the other week, Howard, Howard, PLEASE do SOMETHING with her. Not TO her, with her.
The rest of the ECW is starting to take on a new look. Well the same guys, just new angles. We’re going to be tortured with some god awful Sandman vs. Justin Credible matches instead of some god awful Tommy Dreamer & Sandman vs. The Dudleys matches. Van Dam & Sabu vs. the Dudleys might lead to a good series if the Dudleys can remember how to wrestle instead of inciting riots. Last time I saw them do that was at Barely Legal. Please god, please Abbuddah, please lord in heaven above, please no more ego inflated Taz or Tommy Dreamer matches. Dreamer needs to turn heel so I can have a reason to hate his character and lousy work rate. Taz on the other hand needs a pill. I don’t know what kind of pill and I’m not going to give it to him, but the chest beating Tazmissioning and one-dimensional character that he’s putting on “Survive if I let you . . .” was old six months ago. The world has Goldberg now. Taz needs to recreate himself and show us more than one dimension.
From the sounds a lot of fun was had at the NWA show on Saturday Night. I regret not being there for the fun had by CactusB’s crew. So much fun was had by the Crew with Missy Hyatt that long time Dawn Marie fanatic Jim Brambilla turned sides and actually sided with Missy. Proving of course that just because he’s already ordered, doesn’t mean he can’t look at the menu.
Now on to wrestling video games. In a nutshell: Warzone for playstation has a very steep learning rate. It looks like wrestling in a high school gym instead of a WWF event and the fact that you can’t even pick the guy you want to wrestle against eliminates it from any serious contention for the Wrestling Video Games crown.
WCW vs. NWO World Tour got me to buy a Nintendo 64. It’s the only game on that system I’ve actually had fun playing. The moves are easy to do (You don’t need the 4-5 button presses you need in Warzone), it’s fun and interesting to play and if I didn’t fall in love with something else I’d swear it was the best wrestling game on the market.
Put it isn’t.
Sega Saturn. Fire Pro Wrestling 6 Man Scramble. You can get a used Saturn for $50 and yes it’s a dead system but this game is worth it. You can buy this game from just about any importer, I got mine from a place called Buy Rite Video games. They’re mail order. In order to play Fire Pro you need a converter because it’s a Japanese game. Even though it’s not a 4 Meg card, I recommend a little gadget called “Memory Pro Plus” as it converts and lets you save directly to its memory while you’re playing.
Fire Pro Wrestling takes a little getting used to. It’s all about timing and it’s not three D. Closest I can describe it is to imagine WWF RAW for Genesis taken to the next level. Drop the B.S. trick moves, put in 150+ actual wrestlers (different names to avoid legal conflicts but there IS an editor), the ability to create any male wrestler you want — down to every move he does and even how the computer plays him — UFC and exploding ring electrified barbed wire matches and a game that claims 40 hours of game play just to beat it (that’s more than some role playing games), and you have a good game. Probably the best wrestling game made ever.
There are hundreds of web sites devoted to this game. Take a look. It might not look impressive compared to Warzone or WCW vs. NWO World Tour but the game play is there and the first time you see Ric Flair, Andre the Giant and Vader triple team someone or the LOD do their doomsday device, well, you’ll be addicted.
That’s our look at video games. The Ring Report should be on a biweekly or weekly schedule for the next couple of months depending on how my dad is doing. Until then . . .
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
The Ring Report TV Update is published weekly on RSPWI. It is now available via subscription by sending a “SUBSCRIBE” message to email@example.com. We do accept tv & house show report submissions as well as column submissions (as long as the columns are short), and all should be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org. All reports are (c) 1998 MAD DOG BYTES COMPUTERS and not for reuse or retransmission without permission.