The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #55, 11/7/1999

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The Ring Report TV Update, Vol. 4, Issue #55, 11/7/1999
(“RETIREMENT ISSUE”)
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ECW NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER 11/7/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: CYRUS & JOEY STYLES open the show. JOEL GERTNER interrupts. TAZ comes out. He says that Joey Styles isn’t returning his calls or e-mails. Joey says he returned the calls, etc. Taz says that Joey wants to fight. Joey declines. Taz gives Joey 3 seconds to leave. Joey goes. He does the same for Joel. But he puts out Joel with the tazmission. Taz & Cyrus shake hands . . . SIMON DIAMOND & DICK come out. JAZZ comes out and attacks Simon. Dick makes the save. SPIKE DUDLEY comes out. Simon sicks Dick on Spike. Turns into Simon vs. Spike. Spike wins with the Acid Drop. THE FBI attack Spike. NOVA makes the save. GUIDO gets the win . ..  CHRIS CHETTI saves Nova from BIG SAL but gets taken out by DANNY DORING & ROADKILL . . . JERRY LYNN vs. TAJIRI vs. SUPER CRAZY: Lynn wins . . . THE BALDIES vs. BALLS MAHONEY & AXL ROTTON: NEW JACK hits the ring. Baldies get the win when New Jack gets pinned . . . comments from BILL ALPHONSO w/SABU . . . CHRIS CANDIDO w/TAMMY LYNN SYTCH fell to SABU by submission . . . a taped segment of LOU E. DANGEROUSLY on the phone harassing FRANCINE & JAXX & being thrown out of the building . . . MASATO TANAKA vs. MIKE AWESOME — ECW WORLD TITLE: Awesome gets a hard fought win . . . ROB VAN DAM over TAZ in an ECW WORLD TV TITLE match . . . THE SANDMAN, RAVEN & TOMMY DREAMER vs. THE IMPACT PLAYERS & RHINO: RAVEN went to hit JUSTIN CREDIBLE with a cane and missed, hitting the Sandman. Credible pins the Sandman . . .

HEROES OF WRESTLING 10/10/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: a tribute to GORILLA MONSOON . . . THE SAMOAN SWAT TEAM w/PAUL ADAMS over TOMMY ROGERS & MARTY JANNETTY . . . comments from SHERRI MARTEL . . . GEORGE STEELE w/SHERRI MARTEL vs. GREG VALENTINE: Sherri attacks George whenever George’s vision is obstructed. Valentine gets the win with an assist from Martel. Steele attacks Martel after the match. Worst match in PPV history candidate . . . comments from JULIO FANTASTICO . . . JULIO FANTASTIC fell to TOO COLD SCORPIO . . . it’s announced that CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO is now the commissioner of HEROES OF WRESTLING . . . THE IRON SHIEK & NIKOLAI VOLKOFF fell to BUTCH & LUKE with Nikolai accidently hit the Shiek with a forgien object . . . a look at STAN LANE attacking TULLY BLANCHARD from earlier . . . STANE LANE vs. TULLY BLANCHARD: horrible match. Cloudy ending. Both guys have thier shoulders down on the 3 count. Blanchard is awarded the win. BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! BINGO! . . . ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER vs. THE ONE MAN GANG: match sucks even with the blood. Match is thrown out when both men go outside the ring . . . comments from JIMMY SNUKA & CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO . . . comments from BOB ORTON . . . JIMMY SNUKA w/CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO over BOB ORTON . . . comments from JAKE ROBERTS . . . JAKE ROBERTS vs. JIM NIEDHART: KING KONG BUNDY comes to ringside. YOKOZUNA comes down. Both men are in ther ing for no apparent reason. So it’s now a tag team match with Bundy & Niedhart facint Roberts & Yoko. Bundy & Niedhart win. Yoko & Jake attack a little guy who looks like Bundy, who was at ringside with Bundy . . .

ECW ANARCHY RULES 9/19/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: MATSATO TANAKA arrives at the building. JUDGE JEFF JONES gets in his face. Tanaka attacks Jones. Jones then says he has a surprise for Tanaka and it will be “AWESOME” . . . JERRY LYNN vs. LANCE STORM w/DAWN MARIE: Storm gets a rare clean win . . . SIMOND DIAMOND comes to the ring looking for a tag team partner. He TOM MARQUEZ to be his partner but he didn’t say Simon Says. JAZZ comes out. Simon says he didn’t say “Simon says” and she can’t be a partner because she’s a woman. He orders TOM MARQUEZ to attack Jazz. TONY DEVITO and Diamond attack Jazz when she’s about to pin Marquez. NOVA & CHRIS CHETTI come out. Nova is wearing a Green Lantern symbol and is dressed in green. ROADKILL & DANNY DOURING come out and attack everyone. Match is thrown out. They do the old Hart Foundation HEART ATTACK clothesline on Jazz. Jobbers from the locker room come out to stop them but it turns into a brawl. NEW JACK hits the ring with his garbage can. New Jack uses a stapler on ROD PRICE and is the last man standing in the ring . . . LITTLE GUIDO vs. YOSHIHIRO TAJIRI vs. SUPER CRAZY: Super Crazy pinned Little Guido. Tajiri pins Crazy after a brainbuster . . . STEVE CORINO w/RHINO & JACK VICTORY in the back. He says that his surprise was going to be THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE. He says that the ICP backed out. He says that he and Rhino will take on TOMMY DREAMER & RAVEN for the ECW tag titls . . . BILLY CORGAN of the Smashing Pumpkins is in the front row . . . JUSTIN CREDIBLE vs. SABU: Credible has a restraining order to keep Sabu from wrestling tonight. The ref. says the document is legal and binding. He says however, there is no law and order and Anarchy Rules so Sabu will wrestle Credible. Credible canes BOB ARTESE when Artese tries to announce Sabu. The lights go out. Sabu is in the ring. Not a great match follows. Sabu may be a great talent but he doesn’t put on a great match. Sabu gets pinned after a sloppy tombstone on a chair by Credible . . . MASATO TANAKA vs. TAZ — ECW WORLD TITLE: JEFF JONES brings MIKE AWESOME through the crowd. Taz wants them to come in. Taz goes off on PAUL HEYMAN. Heyman responds and lets Awsome into the match as a three way dance. Tanaka & Awesome team up to pin Taz. Awsome powerbombs Tanaka through a table from the top rope for the pin. Taz returns to the ring and takes the ECW belt. Taz kisses the belt and hands it to Awesome then shakes Awesome’s hand, keeping Taz’s promise that he’d shake the hand of the man that could take the title from him. A real show of class. Paul Heyman hugs Taz and the crowd goes wild . . . comments from RAVEN . . . JOEL GERTNER comes out to interview FRANCINE & TOMMY DREAMER. STEVE CORINO, RHINO & JACK VICTORY come out. Corino sicks Rhino on Dreamer. Dreamer takes out Rhino, chases off Crino, then wheels the wheel-chair bound Jack Victory into a Francine Chair shot. Raven saves Dreamer after Rhino gets the upper hand. Victory & Corino atacks Raven & Dreamer. Victory & Dreamer double pin Corino & Victory. Radio personality MANCOW comes out with two fat guys. The two guys are called TOAD & TURD. Raven leaves with them . . . AXL ROTTEN comes out. He calls out Mike Awesome. Lance Storm, Justin Credible, JASON & Dawn Marie lead out JOHNNY SMITH. They threaten Axl. Axl attacks them, they attack back. SPIKE DUDLEY & BALLS MAHONEY make the save. Johnny Smith gets a nasty chair shot. Axl wants Balls Mahoney to have a shot at ROB VAN DAM. So it’s Balls vs. Rob Van Dam for the ECW WORLD TV TITLE. Van Dam gets the win after a frog splash . . .

WWF SUMMERSLAM ’99 8/22/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: JESSE VENTURA argues with CHYNA & HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY . . . THE FINK HOWARD FINKEL is CHRIS JERICHO’S new gofer . . . JEFF JARRETT vs. D’LO BROWN — WWF IC & EUROPEAN TITLES: Jarrett sends DEBRA to the dressing room. Debra comes back with D’Lo. MARK HENRY comes out and attacked D’Lo with Jarret’s guitar. Jarrett wins the titles and Debra walks back to the dressing room with him . . . THE NEW BROOD (aka THE HARDY BOYS w/GANGREL) fell to EDGE & CHRISTIAN. Edge & Christian advance to face MIDEON & VISCERA. Edge pins Mideon so they go on to face DROZ & PRINCE ALBERT. Edge pins Albert so Edge & Christian advance to face THE ACOLYTES. The Acolytes advance to face THE HOLLYS. The Acolytes win to face the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS tomorrow night on RAW . . . ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES comes out. He says he gets the winner of the Hardcore match tonight tomorrow night on RAW. Y2J time as CHRIS JERICHO comes out and goes off on DX. Road Dogg answers back and Jericho spazzes . . . AL SNOW vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN — WWF HARDCORE TITLE: Road Dogg decides he’s going to do color commentary from the back while they’re fighting. It goes outside the building to a bar down the street. Road Dogg attacks the Bossman with a nightstick.  Snow pins the Bossman on a pool table. Snow returns to try to find his dog. He finds STEVIE RICHARDS & THE BLUE MEANIE trying to steal Pepper. He attacks them both . . . TORY fell to IVORY in a WWF WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH. Ivory tears off Tory’s top (Tory was covered up by the mat), and LUNA made the save before Tory was totally topless . . . an interview with ROCKY MIAVIA . . . BILLY GUNN comes in with someone under a blanket . . . STEVE BLACKMON vs. KEN SHAMROCK — LIONS DEN WEAPONS MATCH: Shamrock wins by leaving the cage in a horrible match. So far every match a dud . . . a commercial for WWF Smackdown . . . TEST vs. SHANE MCMAHON to settle the love affair between Test & STEPHANIE MCMAHON: PAT PATTERSON & JERRY BRISCO attack THE MEAN STREETS POSSE. Test rallies and wins with an elbow off the top rope. Horrible match but a great ending. Stephanie runs to the ring and hugs Test . . . THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL WIGHT vs. X-PAC & KANE — WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Undertaker pins X-Pac and we have new champions . . . STEVE AUSTIN walks away from JESSE VENTURA . . . BILLY GUNN w/MYSTERY WOMAN vs. ROCKY MIAVIA — Kiss my butt match: the mystery woman is an overweight woman. Gunn stipulates that Miavia has to kiss her rear end if he loses. The Rock wins . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY vs. MANKIND vs. STEVE AUSTIN — WWF TITLE: Ventura ejects CHYNA for attacking MANKIND. Ventura eventally refuses to count a three count of Helmsly over Mankind because Helmsly hit Mankind with a chair. SHANE MCMAHON hits the ring and gets in Ventura’s face. Austin recovers and stunners McMahon. Ventura picks up Shane and throws him over the top rope. Hunter hits Austin with the pedigree. Mankind stops the count and hits Austin with a double armed DDT for a pin to become the new WWF Champion. After the match Hunter destroys Austin’s knee with a steel chair while Chyna keeps help from getting to Austin . . .

WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 8/22/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: MICHAEL COLE backstage in this toned down show . . . JEFF JARRETT argues with DEBRA followed by a video featuring both and a look at D’LO BROWN . . . this is horrible. Primestar doesn’t get UPN so bye bye two good WWF shows for me . . . a look at the partnership between THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL WIGHT . . . JESSE VENTURA arrives . . . a look at JESSE VENTURA . . . a look at MANKIND throwing out the first pitch at a TWINS game . . . SHANE MCMAHON crashed the LIVEWIRE set yesterday. He made his match at SUMMERSLAM vs. TEST an anything goes match. Already if Shane wins, Test must break up with STEPHANIE MCMAHON and if Shane loses, he must stop interfering in their relationship . . . CHRIS JERICHO comes out and saves the show from sucking . . . Shane McMahon attacks Test in the dressing room. Oh boy. This is neato. Someone shoot the WWF . . . a stupid look at BILLY GUNN vs. ROCKY MIAVIA . . . this show is worse than THUNDER . . . a look at the setup to the main event . . . horrible show. They had to do it but they didn’t have to do it THIS bad. I might not watch Heat again if it’s *this* bad . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 8/9/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: we start with a note that it’s 1 hour and 25 minutes until the Mellinnium . . . ROCKY MIAVIA comes to the ring. THE UNDERTAKER stops PAUL WIGHT from coming out, saying he wants to hear what the Rock has to say. He goes off on Paul Wight for attacking him on Heat. The Undertaker and Wight attack Miavia. X-PAC returns to make the save. ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES comes out to save X-Pac. KANE heads to the ring. Kane & X-Pac clear the Undertaker and Wight out of the ring .  . . a limo arrives. It’s SHAWN MICHAELS . . . comments from X-PAC & KANE. They want THE ACOLYTES for the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES tonight . . . CHRISTIAN vs. GANGREL: THE HARDY BOYS come out. Christian attacks them. Gangrel spits red stuff in his face when he’s coming off the top rope and gets a DDT on Christian for the pin. The Hardy Boys jump Christian. EDGE makes the save but Gangrel attacks him. MICHAEL HAYES comes in and pulls the Hardy Boys off of Edge. The Hardys attack Hayes. Gangrel helps them destroy Hayes . . . THE ACOLYTES say they’ll put the belts on the lines against Kane & X-Pac . . .JESSE VENTURA arrives . . . JERRY LAWLER with JESSE VENTURA in the ring. Ventura says he’s a former wrestling champ, the first special ref. at Summerslam, and the only Pro Wrestler who was a legit Navy Seal. He goes off on draft dodgers and “pretend navy seals.” He says that the WWF Champion at the end of Summerslam will be a *wrestler* and that they will *wrestle* in the title match. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY comes out. Jesse repeats that Hunter is going to *wrestle* in the match at Summerslam. Jesse tells CHYNA to tell Hunter to back off. Hunter gets in his face and says that he’ll kick Jesse’s butt if he wants to. SHAWN MICHAELS comes out. Michaels says that Jesse will be the most powerful referee in World Wrestling Federation history at Summerslam. Shawn takes credit for taking Hunter to stardome. Hunter shoves Michaels. Ventura stops them. He whispers something in Michaels’ ear. Michaels then orders Hunter into a three way match with The Undertaker and STEVE AUSTIN . . . another segment with MARK HENRY & D’LO BROWN jogging. Henry goes out to the woods to go to the bathroom. A car pulls up. JEFF JARRETT attacks D’Lo and leaves him for dead . . . JEFF JARRETT comes to the ring with DEBRA. He’s going to face VAL VENIS. News comes from the locker room that something’s going on. There was something happening in a stairwell. Debra gets on the Apro but Venis is too smart and catches Jarrett as Jarret tries the sneak attack and gets the pin. Jarrett berates Debra. Venis comes back and attacks Jarrett. Jarrett leaves alone. Val takes Debra to the back . . . Cut to the back. STEVE AUSTIN is down on the ground by the stairwell. He’s unconcious and bleeding . . . paramedics are working on Steve Austin. He’s being taken to the hospital. Someone attacked Austin with a cinderblock. Hunter & Chyna show and wonder what happened . . . SHAWN MICHAELS heads back to the ring. He holds Hunter responsible. Hunter comes out and denies that he attacked Austin. Michaels orders a falls count anywhere match, no dq, no count out for the #1 contendership at Summerslam. Michaels is the special ref for that match. Hunter will now face the Undertaker and CHYNA. Hunter says Chyna is just a girl and it’s no place for a woman. Chyna is pissed. Chyna accepts the match and storms off . . . Hunter and Chyna argue in the back . . . KANE & X-PAC vs. THE ACOLYTES — WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Kane & X-Pac now come out together and now share enterance music. X-Pac pins FAROOQ after hitting the the X-Factor and we have new champions. ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES comes out and celibrates with them. X-Pac has Kane try “suck it” without his voice modulator. THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL WIGHT jump everyone . . . GTV switches to someone masaging BILLY GUNN. Why? Who knows? . . . JOEY ABS w/SHANE MCMAHON & STEVE BLACKMON vs. KEN SHAMROCK & TEST: Abs has entrance music. God help us. Blackmon has worse entrance
music. TEST comes out and attacks Abs while KEN SHAMROCK attacks Blackmon. Shamrock attacks Shane McMahon with a kendo stick. Test gets the pin on Abs. Test goes to break Joey Abs’ leg with the chair on the leg . . . Billy Gun has a rash on his butt. A nurse says that it’s poison ivy . . . THE ROCK heads to the ring . . . comments from TEST. BTW, it’s mellinium man time and we’re looking at Test. Only in the WWF . . . comments from STEVE BLACKMON. Blackmon wants a lions den weapons match. Misses his camera cue and stares at Terry Taylor . . . Rocky Miavia comes to the ring. Isn’t this Mellinnium man time? The clock goes off. The lights go out and all the fireworks go off. JERICHO appears on the titontron. CHRIS JERICHO appears and proclaims that it’s RAW IS JERICHO. THIS is how to make an enterance, the type WCW blew with SHANE DOUGLAS. He goes off on “RAW” (actually a spin on the WCW), saying that it was once great and is now a snooze fest. He says he’s there to save the WWF. He says that the buyrates and normal ratings are down. He says that the crowd is silent because they’re embarrased to be here. He says that Mediocrity is not excellence, JERICHO is excellence. He leads a “Go Jericho, Go” chant. He says he’s the Y2J problem. The Rock says “know your roll and shut your mouth” to him. He says it doesn’t matter what Jericho’s name is. He says he has the “ky Jelly plan.” Jericho is frustrated and pouts . . .BOB HOLLY in the back. He says he’s looking for Paul Wight . . . ROAD DOG JESSE JAMES vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN — HARDCORE RULES: AL SNOW attacks The Bossman with a dog carrier. Road Dogg gets the pin . . . PAUL WIGHT vs. ROCKY MIAVIA: Hardcore Holly comes out. The Rock wins by DQ when Chris Jericho attacks him. BILLY GUNN hits the ring and attacks the Rock . . . JESSE VENTURA returns to do guest color commentary for THE UNDERTAKER vs. CHYNA vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY — #1 CONTENDER TO THE WWF TITLE. ANYTHING GOES. SHAWN MICHAELS AS SPECIAL REF. NO TIME LIMIT: Austin arrives from the hospital with a steel chair. austin takes out Helmsly with a chair and puts Chyna on Helmsly. Chyna wins and is the #1 contender at Summerslam . . .

WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 8/8/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: VAL VENIS vs. D’LO BROWN — WWF IC TITLE: Jarrett attacks Venis resulting in the DQ of Brown . . . AL SNOW comes to the ring with his new dog PEPPER. Snow says that the dog talks to him. THE BIG BOSSMAN comes out. He says he’s going to get Snow and the dog . . . THE ACOLYTES leave thier WWF titles in the locker room . . . TORI comes to the ring. She’s defeats LEXIE. IVORY attacks Tori after the match . . . KANE & ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES vs. THE ACOLYTES — WWF TAG TEAM TITLES:The Acolytes come out of the crowd and attack Road Dogg. Kane makes it to the ring. Dogg is down and can’t compete. BOB HOLLY comes out to be the replacement partner. He attacks Kane then attacks The Acolytles. In the back THE UNDERTAKER stops PAUL WIGHT from helping Holly . . . ROCKY MIAVIA arrives . . . TERRI RUNNELS with MEAT. She makes him drink a glass of wine . . . THE GODFATHER vs. PRINCE ALBERT: Godfather wants the fat guy who jumped him last week and gets him but it’s a 3 on 1 attack on the Godfather by the fat guy, Albert & DROZ. CHAZ & VAL VENIS make the save . . . AL SNOW talks to PEPPER . . . Meat argues with Terri . . . THE BLUE MEANIE makes fun of Pepper. Al Snow atacks him . . . MEAT falls to THE BIG BOSSMAN in a WWF HARDCORE TITLE MATCH . . . a look at JESSE VENTURA . . . ROCK MIAVIA heads to the ring. He’s doing commentary during BILLY GUNN vs. THE UNDERTAKER. The Rock attacks Gunn. PAUL WIGHT attacks the Rock. Undertaker wins with a tombstone . . .

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 8/2/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE ACOLYTES head to the ring. They demand PAUL WIGHT & THE UNDERTAKER. BOB HOLLY comes out instead. BOB HOLLY comes out instead. He’s destroyed as usual . . . PAUL BEARER, the Undertaker & Paul Wight arrive . . . a look at the situation between GANGREL, EDGE & CHRISTIAN . . . comments from EDGE. He says he’s heart broken that CHRISTIAN went back to GANGREL . . . EDGE vs. GANGREL — BLOODBATH MATCH: A vat of fake blood is at ringside. Whomever hits the other with it first wins. Lights go out and Christian is standing over Gangrel outside the ring. Gangrel is covered in simulated blood. He gets in the ring and hugs Edge . . . SHANE MCMAHON goes to the ring. Shane rambles about his father. This is not good. He says that HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY has promised him the WWF Title at SUMMERSLAM. He says that THE CORPORATE MINSITRY is free to do what they want. He’s focusing on TEST. Test comes out. He says that he’s going to go through THE MEAN STREETS POSSE until he gets to Shane . . . AL SNOW talks to HEAD and his new dog . . . ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES & KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL WIGHT: Undertaker pins Kane with a tombstone. The Acolytes head to the ring but Bob Holly attacks both men with a baseball bat. Holly warns The Undertaker then storms back to the dressing room . . . a look at ROCKY MIAVIA throwing out the first ball at a Pittsburgh Pirates game . . . a look at JESSE VENTURA . . . a recap on a WWF show? Shoot me. This isn’t THUNDER people. We rap last week’s Hunter Hearst Helmsly vs. Rocky Miavia match . . . BILLY GUNN & CHYNA head to the ring. Chyna’s in her new hat. We’ve now gone to hell. Gunn talks about his manicured rear end. He shows footage of a large Yokozuna sized man’s butt and says it’s the Rock’s butt. Again, we’re in hell. The Rock appears on the Titontron. He says that the footage was of Gunn’s mother. I fastforward. This is sheer crap . . . mroe hell of MARK HENRY & D’LO BROWN. Brown is trying to make Henry eat diet food . . . D’LO BROWN vs. JEFF JARRETT — WWF IC vs. WWF EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH: Brown gets the win and both titles . . . JFEFF JARRETT blames DEBRA for his loss . . .  STEVE AUSTIN heads to the ring. Paul Wight & The Undertaker come out and jump Austin . . . VISCERA vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN — WWF HARDCORE TITLE: Bossman gets the win . . . comments from Austin. He says he’ll give the Undertaker a title shot tonight . . . during the break CHYNA tells HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY that Austin is giving the Undertaker a title shot tonight. Hunter freaks . . . TEST vs. RODNEY: JOEY ABS helps Rodney jump Test before the match. JIM ROSS announces that the WWF title match will be no holds barred. Rodney submits to a hammerlock. After the match Test puts a chair on Rodney’s arm and comes off the top rope onto the chair. Joey Abs comes out but won’t go in the ring because Test has the chair . . . comments from Hunter Hearst Helmsly he says it’s his time . . . STEVE BLACKMON comes to the ring and denies knowing that KEN SHAMROCK was behind his car last week when he accidently hit him. Blackmon faces VAL VENIS. Ken Shamrock comes out and chases Blackmon out into the crowd with a tire chain. . . . THE UNDERTAKER vs. STEVE AUSTIN — WWF TITLE NO HOLDS BARRED: Hunter Hearst Helmsly charges the ring and says that the Undertaker has to go through him to get to Austin. Austin gets to the ring and attacks Helmsly. The Undertaker attacks Austin. Paul Wight attacks Helmsly. No match. The Acolytes hit the ring. Kane follows. Road Dogg Jesse James hits the ring. Bob Holly in. The Rock comes and it’s an all out brawl . . .

WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 8/1/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: a recap of RAW . . . THE UNDERTAKER, PAUL BEARER & PAUL WRIGHT come out. They rant about KANE & STEVE AUSTIN. THE ACOLYTES come out and say that they want Undertaker & Wight . . . MICHAEL HAYES argues with THE HARDY BOYS in the back . . . AL SNOW, his new chihuaha and HEAD, conspire . . . THE HARDY BOYS over PAPICHULU & FUNAKI . . . TERRI RUNNELS & MEAT have a segment where Meat is sweaty & exhausted . . . MEAT vs. EDGE ends with Edge pinning Meat. After the match Terri goes off on Meat. She makes him kiss her feet. JACKIE walks out on it . . . CHRISTIAN & GANGREL are seen in the crowd together . . . JEFF JARRETT & DEBRA come out . . . TERRY TAYLOR interviews CHAZ w/MARIANNA. PRINCE ALBERT comes by and pinches Marianna. Chaz attacks him . . . PRINCE ALBERT vs. CHAZ: the fat guy in white who attacked THE GODFATHER on RAW comes out and attacks CHAZ. 2 on 1 on Chaz. Prince Albert kisses Marianna then leaves with the fat guy in white . . . comments from PRINCE ALBERT to TERRY TAYLOR . . . MIDEON fell to STEVE BLACKMON in a non-match. Blackmon uses his weapons on Mideon . . . D’LO BROWN trying to get MARK HENRY in shape . . . THE ACOLYTES vs. THE UNDERTAKER & PAUL WIGHT: DQ win for the Acolytes after the Undertaker attacks them with a steel cahir. Wight & Undertaker go on to destroy them with chairs. HARDCORE BOB HOLLY comes out and attacks the Acolytes. He tries to stand with the Undertaker and Wight but the Undertaker goes to attack him. Wight stops Undertaker and takes Holly to the dressing room . . .

ECW 7/31/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE DUDLEY BOYS in the ring with JOEL GERTNER. We cut to JOEY STYLES. He apologizes for Gertner’s comments about JFK JR. Cut back to the Dudleys. BUH BUH “THANK GOD I’M GOING TO THE WWF” DUDLEY on the microphone. Thank god they cut to the opening . . . it’s THE DUDLEYS vs. SPIKE DUDLEY & BALLS MAHONEY for the ECW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES. Spike pins DVON DUDLEY after an Acid Drop on a steel chair. The Dudleys argue and tease a break up after the match . . . a look back at TOMMY DREAMER getting attacked by TAJIRI at the PPV . . . a look back at HARDCORE HEAVEN 1999 with TOMMY DREAMER vs. LANCE STORM. I thought WCW was bad at recycling. Didn’t like the match the first time, fast forwarding the second time . . . DANNY DORING w/UNNAMED GIRL & ROADKILL come to the ring. SABU attacks Doring & Roadkill. The girl stops Sabu from going over the ropes and putting Doring through a table. BILL ALPHONSO attacks her. Sabu puts her through the table. JUSTIN CREDIBLE comes in and attacks Sabu with a cane . . .

ECWA Newport 7/30/99 by Jeff Amdur (jefam@home.com)
The resolution of the tag team title controversy, the return of the “King of Delaware” and the crowning of a new Mid-Atlantic champion highlighted the “Night of Unusual Matches” presented by JIM KETTNER’s East Coast Wrestling Association at St. Matthew’s Parish Hall in Newport, DE, on July 30.

Attendance estimated at 550, with the enthusiasm running high in spite of the sweltering conditions inside the hall.  Ring announcer: CHUCK “OVERDRESSED TO KILL” RISTANO.  Timekeeper at the bell: JEFF “SHVITZING PROFUSELY” AMDUR.  Referees for the evening: BOB DENSMORE, LARRY PEACE, PAUL TURNER, and a couple of surprises.  Intermission music provided by the band DOGTOOTH 7.  Master of the ECWAtron video machine: “FLYIN” RYAN O’BRIEN.  Helping Ryan with the video camera: SEAN O’DOMSKI.

Conspicuous by their absence: usual ring announcer BILLY K, manager BARRY CASINO and evil commissioner RICHARD NAEGELE.

Spotted in the audience:  PCW promoter BLAINE DeSANTIS, with his family (including PCW ring announcer MATT DeSANTIS) and assistant CINDY ZITO; the NWA’s CATHY FITZPATRICK and DENISE HOOPES; and BOB and SARGE McGEE.

The NATIONAL ANTHEM was played in 1:15.

On the ECWAtron, there was a summary of what had happened three weeks ago at the outdoor card in New Castle, as we saw possible dissension within the ranks of BRUTE FORCE, with CARNAGE and STUD arguing with their guru VIPER and valette BOBCAT.

MATCH 1 (LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT MATCH):  SWEET MISTER E (with E.S. EASTON) pinned “THE ALL-AMERICAN” JEFF PETERSON in 11:06.  Before the match, Mister E had sent his manager back to the lockers, telling him that he wanted to win this match by himself, with no outside interference.  The match was filled with high spots from both wrestlers, including a spectacular mid-ring collision when they attempted simultaneous flying body presses.  Later, E ducked another Jeff body press attempt, and Peterson hit the referee instead.  While Jeff went to help the downed ref, Easton reappeared and plonked Jeff with his megaphone.  E.S. told E to cover for the pin, but the Sweet one was kind of reluctant.  He finally covered for the pin.  After the match, Mister E berated Easton for the interference.  He apologized to Jeff for what had happened, helped Jeff back up, raised his hand, and then attacked him.  Easton joined in on the double-teaming, eventually pushing the referee.  The other refs had to come out to restore order.

Before the next match could begin, VIPER came out, accompanied by BOBCAT.  Serenaded by “Viper [uses a straw to sip his drinks]!” chants, he went into a tirade about the “backroom politics” in the ECWA and said that his charges CARNAGE and STUD were suffering from “teacher-student” syndrome, where students start to rebel against the teacher.  As Carnage and Stud came out, Viper continued to berate them, calling them “soft” for having appeared at the recent Special Olympics, using as proof a picture in the match program showing the two posing with Ronald McDonald.

MATCH 2 was a FIVE-WAY ELIMINATION MATCH featuring recent graduates of the ECWA/PCW WrestleTech training school, under the tutelage of GLENN OSBOURNE.  The participants were BUDDY LEE, GROUND ZERO (with THE COMMANDO), SHAWN STORM, “FABULOUS” MOZART FONTAINE, and “MAXIMUM” JOHNNY MAXX.  Glenn said that these five had been training for the past 18 months and were finally ready to perform at the ECWA home base.  Buddy Lee was the first eliminated (4:51) as Maxx pinned him after a famouser.  Fontaine pinned Storm after a hair haul at 5:30.  At 6:52 Mozart himself was eliminated by a Maxx roll-up after having been clobbered by Ground Zero.  Zero then won the match by pinning Maxx after a sit-out slam in 8:19.

After the match, Ground Zero and his manager Commando celebrated in the ring, turning to Osbourne and saying “I’m going after you next, teach”. Zero and Commando taunted Glenn, who was quite perplexed at the actions of his student at this point.

At the last St. Matthew’s show, a tag-team title match ended with a controversial double-pin where members of two different teams scored the pin fall.  It was decided that each of the teams would hold one of the tag belts, and that there would be a title resolution match on the next card.  So here we have it.

MATCH 3 (TAG TITLE CONSOLIDATION MATCH):  MARK “THE SHARK” SHRADER & THUNDER consolidated the tag-team title by pinning JOEY “THE FUTURE” MATTHEWS & CHRISTIAN YORK (with E.S. EASTON) in 13:18 in a match in itself that was not without controversy.  Thunder tried to suplex York but was tripped by Easton, and the ref counted for the pin.  Chuck announced the result, and the music had started to play when another ref came from the back and told the ref what had happened.  I was ordered to ring the bell once more to restart the match, and Shark rolled up York for the pin.

MATCH 4 (COAL MINER’S GLOVE MATCH):  STUD (with CARNAGE) pinned VINCENT GOODNIGHT in 7:12.  Goodnight had been able to climb the pole to grab the glove, and was set to use it on Stud when Carnage interfered and plonked Vince, enabling Stud to cover for the pin.

MATCH 5 (TEXAS BULL ROPE MATCH):  BOOGIE WOOGIE BROWN pinned “FAST” EDDIE VALENTINE (with SEBASTIAN NIGHT) in 3:55, following a foot and an elbow drop.  And yes, once again, before the match, Night “groomed” Valentine by combing his chest hair [yecch!].

Rock band DOGTOOTH 7, which counts “FLYIN’ RYAN O’BRIEN” among its members, entertained the crowd during the intermission.  Not being able to find ear plugs, I went outside into the parking lot to touch base with Cathy, Denise and the Magees;)  Apparently J.R. RYDER joined the band for their last number.

At the end of the musical interlude, ACE DARLING appeared and give a very negative critique of J.R.’s musical abilities.  He challenged Ryder to an impromptu match.  J.R. agreed, and told Ace that he could even make up his own rules.  Seizing the opportunity, Ace announces that he will provide a special guest referee, a person who had been recently missing from ECWA rings, none other than the “King of Delaware”, RECKLESS YOUTH.  Reckless comes out, harangues the crowd and puts on a ref shirt and his familiar crown.

MATCH 6 (ACE’S RULES / RECKLESS REFEREE MATCH): ACE DARLING pinned J.R. RYDER in 8:24.  Ace seemed to be making up his rules as the match progressed, and Reckless enforced them.  For instance, after being punched in the face, Ace instituted a “no punching Ace in the face” rule.  Ditto for the “no kicking Ace in the face” rule.  Ryder seemed to have Ace pinned several times; but Reckless was giving either very slow counts or no counts, once claiming to have injured his hand after pounding the mat for the 1-count.  Youth didn’t seem to have the same difficulty when counting Ace’s pins, the count for the final pin being perhaps (using one of those clichiaviones) the fastest recorded 3-count in the history of our sport.

MATCH 7 (STRETCHER MATCH, no rules no dq):  TWIGGY RAMIREZ (with SEBASTIAN NIGHT) pinned “THE MADMAN FROM THE BADLANDS” GLENN OSBOURNE in 8:24.  At one point, the ref was ko’d by manager night, which enabled GROUND ZERO and COMMANDO to run in and attack Osbourne as Twiggy retreated to the back.  After Oz was laid out on the mat, Twiggy and Sebastian returned with the stretcher, and put Glenn on it.  Several workers came out to carry the stretcher with Glenn to the locker room.

MATCH 8 (LUMBERJACK MATCH): VIPER (with BOBCAT) pinned J.J. THE RING CREW GUY in 9:36.  The ref spent much of the match occupied with resolving combats among the fourteen  lumberjacks who surrounded the ring.  With the ref thus occupied, Viper chairshotted J.J.  STUD and CARNAGE came to the ring and grabbed the chair as if they were going to come to J.J.’s aid; but instead, they joined Viper in triple-teaming J.J., which led to the pin.

MATCH 9 (FRENCH BASTILLE MATCH):  CHEETAH MASTER won the Mid-Atlantic title from MONSIEUR OOH LA LA (with E.S. EASTON & THE PERSIAN PRINCE) in 21:05.  The rules of the match were: it was to be two out of three falls, with special stipulations for each fall being decided before each fall by Chuck Ristano’s blind choice from the “bucket o’stips” placed at the ringside table.  Before the match, there seemed to be some dissension, as Ooh and Persian kept on bumping into each other.  Ooh finally asked Easton to send Prince back to the lockers. FIRST FALL was an “I-QUIT” fall, with Cheetah getting La La to cry “mon oncle” at 5:51.

SECOND FALL was a BLINDFOLD fall; but Easton distracted the ref long enough for Ooh to temporarily pull down his blindfold and plonk Cheetah with a chair before pinning him in 9:15.

THIRD FALL was HARDCORE RULES, including table, chair, pizza tray, giant trash can, water bottle, and ladder.  The end came with Cheetah attempting to convert the folks in this Catholic parish hall into “ladder day saints” (please, no “Mormon the Lunatic” jokes), as he climbed to the top of the ladder and made a spectacular leap onto Ooh , sending him crashing through the table before pinning him.

Cheetah hardly had time to celebrate when LANCE DIAMOND appeared on the ECWAtron screen.  Lance, now wrestling with ECW, said that he still had some unfinished business with Cheetah (whom he had “made a star”), and challenged him to “one final match, one-on-one, no time limit, to a finish” at the next ECWA show.

That next ECWA show will be on Friday, September 17 at St. Matthews, with a 7:30 pm bell time.  Keep tuned to these boards and to the ECWA website at www.ecwaprowrestling.com for further information.

From Jeff the ECWA timekeeper

WCW THUNDER 7/29/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: a replay of the NWO look from NITRO . . . KISS will be on Nitro Aug 23 . . . ERNEST MILLER over BARRY DARSOW . . . a replay of the MEGADETH video . . . a look at the RANDY SAVAGE/DENNIS RODMAN thing on NITRO . . . hey more crap like this is going to be on WCW SATURDAY NIGHT . . . a look at DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE on HOLLYWOOD SQUARED. I no longer respect DDP . . . ERIC WATTS fell to BUFF BAGWELL by pin. During the pin ERNEST MILLER tries to attack Bagwell but misses . . . a replay of CURT HENNIG vs. BILL GOLDBERG from NITRO . . . a WCW MOTOR SPORTS segment . . . CHAD BROCK will be on Nitro in a week . . . THE TRIAD do their thing that I fast forward through each time. DDP is even lower on my list now. BOOKER T vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW: DQ win for T when THE TRIAD attack him. STEVIE RAY makes the save. After the match Ray tosses off his NWO shirt and HARLEM HEAT is reborn . . . a recap of the set up to HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & STING vs. SID VICIOUS & KEVIN NASH. This is followed by a replay of the match . . . a recap of 2 weeks ago’s NITRO . . . DEAN MALENKO, PERRY SATURN & CHRIS BENOIT vs. RIC FLAIR, DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE & KANYON: Flair uses brass knucks on Benoit then puts Kanyon on top of him. Kanyon gets the pin . . .

WWF Baltimore 7/29/99–Mick’s Back!!! by Jeff Amdur (jefam@home.com)
After seeing the Orioles show as much offensive strength this afternoon as a typical Pete Gas flurry of punches, I walk the three blocks from Camden Yards to the Baltimore Arena to see the WWF house show, which marked the return of Mick Foley to active competition (unless he wrestled on a house show last night).

One observation I make right right way is that for a self-proclaimed PG-14 promotion, there are certainly a lot of families in attendance tonight.  Plus, I look everywhere, both in line (make that “on line” for you New Yorkers) and in the Arena crowd, and I cannot find one single person wearing any type of WCW clothing. Contrast that with the numerous “Stone Cold” shirts I find when attending a typical WCW house show.  Up on the ceiling of the building is this soccer ball on steroids, filled with advertisments of the local indoor soccer team’s sponsors.  Speaking of sponsors, the ring apron on all sides is emblazoned with the words “JVC Kaboom Box”.  That Canadian flag is still hanging from the rafters, although Baltimore’s last hockey team died after the 1996-1997 season.

I quickly spot wrestling talk-show hosts DEVIOUS DOC and AL “FAT BOY” ALBERT in the crowd.  Other people near me spot them, too; but they seem to know Doc and Al more for the local automobile commercial they made rather than the radio show.  I had a hard time convincing one kid quite familiar with them from the commercial that they actually were on the radio (“What station they on?”, the kid asks).  A family of four, carrying several signs, sits next to me.  We strike up a conversation, and I find that they have driven four hours (including that wait time on the dreaded Wilson Bridge) from Charlottesville, VA, to see the show.

The first pop of the night goes to DOC and AL, accompanied by NURSE FEELGOOD and NURSE FEELBETTER (well, IMHO the pop is more for the nurses–sorry, Doc), as they take their front-row seats.  Eventually, the show begins.

Attendance estimated at 8500.  Ring announcer / timekeeper: TONY CHIMEL. Referees for the evening: TIM WHITE, MIKE KIOTA, and EARL HEBNER.

Tony Chimel announces (and a big sign also states this at the ticket booths) that Steve Austin was hurt in a match on Tuesday and will not be on the card.  He will be replaced by MANKIND, who has been out of action for a couple of months.

The NATIONAL ANTHEM was played over the p.a. in 1:13.

MATCH 1:  MIDEON & PRINCE ALBERT vs. THE GODFATHER (with three HO’S) & VAL VENIS.  Val and Godfather each have their own separate entrance music.  Val takes the mike and tells the crowd that Prince really hates to be called “chia pet”; so, of course, we that chant throughout the match.  Val’s words to the wise tonight are “I am like a ‘Monopoly’ game.  Give me a chance to play with your community chest and I’ll give you free parking.”  Godfather leads the crowd in his usual catch phrases, as I think “Pavlov’s ho’s”.  Val gets an early advantage on Albert; but he misses a splash and gets stomped by Prince, who is eventually distracted by the “chia pet” chants.  He is met by a Venis clothesline.  Godfather now in, and is punched and slammed by Prince. Mideon enters and is caught by a Godfather leg-scissors takedown.  Val takes over with some punches and knees.  Val follows with a Russian leg sweep; but Mideon counters with a clothesline and gets a 2-count.  Venis is double-teamed by the bad guys as the ref argues with Godfather. Albert suplexes Val; but is slow to follow up because of the “chia pet” chants once again.  Mideon stomps Val and gets a 2-count.  Albert comes back in with a side slam and a 2-count as Godfather makes the save. Albert does the gorilla press on Val but can’t slam him; Val follows with a side suplex.  Godfather finally makes the hot tag, with Mideon making a not-so-hot tag, and Ho-man cleans house.  The tag is made to Val, who lands the money shot and 3-count on Mideon as Godfather holds Prince back in a corner.  VENIS & GODFATHER by pin fall in 6:24.

After the match, referee TIM WHITE does the “ho dance” with the three gals, who then trap him on the mat and smother him with touchy-touchy feely-feely.

MATCH 2:  VISCERA vs. HARDCORE HOLLY.  Holly is an overwhelming fan favorite in this match between two usual heels.  Viscera quickly pushes Hardcore out of the ring.  Holly counters with some kicks but (surprise, surprise) is unable to press and slam Viscera.  Viscera punches, Holly kicks, Holly gloats to the crowd and is surprised by a Viscera press and slam.  During this match, there is a boy telling everyone within earshot that Holly’s brother is “Raven, from ECW”  Huhhh?!?!?  Back to the action–Holly picks up a chair, but the ref grabs it.  Hardcore argues with the ref.  Viscera hits the clothesline but misses an elbow drop. Holly covers for a 3-count as ref Mike Kiota doesn’t see Hardcore using the ropes for leverage.  HOLLY with a pin in 3:41.

MATCH 3, for the WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP:  challenger TORI vs. champion IVORY.  Ivory starts out stomping Tori.  Tori slams Ivory and covers for a 2-count.  There’s some chasing around the ring, with Ivory eventually slamming Tori’s head on the metal ring steps.  Ivory gets a 2-count after some elbow smashes.  A Tori 2-count after a sunset flip.  Ivory gets successive 2-counts after a hair haul and a bulldog.  Tori adds an antomic drop, clothesline and 2-count.  During the match, two or three fans in the next section over try to get a “Goldberg” chant going. Huhhh?!?!?  Ivory eventually gets the 3-count as for the second consecutive match ref Kiota misses the champ’s using the middle rope for leverage.  IVORY retains the belt with a pin in 6:26.

Tony Chimel shills the current WWF program, with Rock on the cover. That’s as close to the Arena as Rocky gets tonight.  The ring crew, trying to set up the “nightstick on a pole” match, seems to be having some trouble affixing the pole and nightstick to one of the ring posts; finally, they get it right.

MATCH 4:  BIG BOSSMAN vs. TEST in a “nightstick on a pole” match.  You guessed it–if you climb the pole and take the nightstock from the top of the pole, you can use it on your opponent.  After the bell rings to start the match, first Bossman, then Test, turn to the crowd to get a reaction, as I wonder why the other wrestler doesn’t simply climb the pole while the opponent is facing the crowd.  Bossman finally pushes Test around, eventually shoving him by the throat to the mat.  Test recovers with some punches and a clothesline.  Bossman starts to go back to the dressing room; but Test rushes after him and plonks him several times into the metal ringside barriers, throwing a fan’s soda (beer?) on him for good measure.  Boss recovers as he whips Test into the perpendicular mat edge.  He then tries to climb up the pole, but Test drags him down.  Boss then gets a chair and misses with two chair shots reminiscent of ex-Oriole pitcher Rocky Coppinger’s inability to find the strike zone.  Test grabs the chair on Bossman’s third attempt, and plonks the bad guy.  Eventually, there is a center-ring collison.  Test recovers first and starts to climb the pole; but Bossman hauls him down.  Bossman hits a reverse atomic drop, and starts to climb but is pulled back by Test.  Test slams Boosman and starts to climb, but is crotched for his efforts.  Boss’s next effort is met by a Test back drop. Finally, Test is able to climb the pole and grab the stick; but, much as I have seen Oriole batters do on recent occasions, he swings and misses, and the stick goes flying.  Test tries a rollup; but Bossman grabs the loose stick, clobbers test and gets the pin.  BOSSMAN gets that pin in 8:44.

MATCH 5:  JEFF & MATT HARDY (with MICHAEL “P.S.” HAYES) vs. THE BROOD (EDGE & CHRISTIAN) vs. THE ACOLYTES (FAAROOQ & BRADSHAW) in a 3-way elimination match for the tag belts.  As the match unfolds, the champs spend most of the time outside the ring as they watch the Hardyz and Brood engage in combat.  Jeff and Christian start.  Jeff pushes Christian, who counters with a drop kick.  Matt pummels Christian into a corner, and the Brood guy is double teamed.  Christian hits a reverse atomic drop and tags to Edge who pummels Jeff in the corner.  Edge drop kicks Jeff in the corner.  Jeff is hanging upside down from the top turnbuckle.  Jeff lifts himself (using no hands) from that upside down position to dodge an Edge charge.  Jeff tries to dive onto a brood guy outside of the ring; but he misses and seems to hit the corner of one of the ring steps.  Ouch!  The Acolytes enter for a short moment to kick some [gluteus].  Christian and Jeff are back in the ring, and Christian finds himself double-teamed by the Acolytes, as Jeff runs for cover. Matt arrives, punches Christian into a corner.  Christian reverses the position.  Matt knees Christian in the stomach.  The Hardy tag is made.  Matt hits a splash as Jeff hits a top-rope moonsault.  Jeff follows  with a hair haul.  Christian is double-teamed by the Hardys.  Matt somersaults on Christian and gets a 2-count.  Another 2-count, as Edge makes the save after Matt hit Christian with a top rope knee drop. Enter the Acolytes.  They punch Edge out of the ring and double team Christian.  Then, Matt re-enters to get a 2-count on Christian.  The Hardyz remove their shirts and taunt Christian.  Bad move, as Edge finally makes the hot tag and hits successive spears on Matt and Jeff. Edge covers for the pin in 7:44, eliminating the Hardyz.  Enter Bradshaw, who clotheslines Christian for a 2-count.  Faarooq tags in and follows his bearhug with a wicked face-first body slam on Christian. Faarooq misses a power bomb attempt and is ddt’d by Christian.  Another hot tag to Edge, who immediately dropkicks both Acolytes.  Edge tries a plancha.  Bradshaw grabs him.  Christian drop kicks Edge onto Bradshaw. As Edge gets ready to try for the pin.  The ref must be occupied elsewhere, as GANGREL runs in and ddt’s Edge.  One of the Acolytes (can’t read my own notes here) gets the pin.  ACOLYTES keep the title with the pin in 12:22.  It might be my imagination; but it seems that Edge and Christian had some words with each after the match.

More shills from Tony: the “Brood: drink from my cup” bandana; DX “Gen” baseball cap; framed photos of wrestlers; a genuine authentic replica of the smoking-skulls belt.  Ring crew comes out to put up the cage.

MATCH 6:  “THE LETHAL WEAPON” STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KEN SHAMROCK in a “fight to the finish” in the steel cage.  They’re using the traditional, chain-link fencing 15-foot high cage.  Shamrock comes to the ring with both his ribs and left elbow heavily taped.  Shamrock starts off in a flurry of punches and slams but can’t sustain it as he is visibly hurting.  Ken works on Steve’s legs with some leglocks and kicks.  Steve comes back with some punches, backing Ken into a corner where he works on those injured ribs.  Shamrock recovers with a corner-whip of his own, followed by a power slam and a headlock.  Blackman counters with a side Russian leg sweep.  Shamrock hits a clothesline and dropkick, then clutches his ribs.  He gets up and gives Blackman a belly-to-belly suplex and puts on his submission leglock.  Blackman submits. AFter a while, Ken releases the hold.  The Shamrock music starts to play, then stops.  The ref orders the door to the cage closed.  I think he’s not quite sure whether this “fight to the finish” cage match can end in a pin or submission, or does it end when one of the combatants steps out of the cage.  At this point, we’re not quite sure either.  Finally, another ref comes to ringside, says something to the first ref, and the Shamrock music plays again.  Shamrock wins by submission in 7:37.

The boy from Charlottesville sitting next to me wonders why there was no blood.  Several people in back of me state that they’ve never seen a bloodless cage match before.  My response is a simple “Welcome to Maryland” [sigh].

Winner of the Kaboom Box drawing:  Section 303, row A, seat 4.  At least I had the right row.  Just the wrong section and seat number [re-sigh].

MATCH 7: AL SNOW vs. THE HEAD. Yes, you’re reading this right, and it’s the same Head it’s always been. Not a scheduled match, no bell, no ref. Snow comes out and takes the mike, stating that he blames Head for his not being booked on the show, claiming that Head told the promoter that Al was “too crazy to wrestle”.  He promises to kick Head’s [tuchus], although I’ve never seen a [tuchus] on Head.  Al stomps and slams Head, bangs Head against the turnbuckle, hits the tombstone and then moonsaults on Head, accentuating the stuff with a crotch chop.  He then starts back to the lockers, leaving that Head in mid-ring.  He then comes back and falls to the mat, tearfully apologizing to Head, “I promise I’ll make it up.  Give me a kiss.”  Match is “no contest” in every logical and illogical sense of the term in 1:32.

MATCH 8: JEFF JARRETT vs. D-LO BROWN for the Intercontinental title. The crowd boos Jeff heavily, as the fans come to the eventual realization that Debra is not in the building.  Even after Jeff tells the fans that they “don’t deserve puppies”, they continue the “We want puppies” chant.  Jeff starts out strong with some body slams.  Jeff then grabs the I-C belt and climbs out of the ring.  D-Lo back suplexes Jarrett back into the ring; but Jeff counters with clotheslines and punches.  Jeff gets a 2-count after hitting a neckbreaker.  D-Lo then elbows his way out of a Jarrett sleeper.  Jeff does a back suplex. Brown catches Jeff off the ropes, and hits a body slam, some punches, a drop kick and knee drop, getting a 2-count.  D-Lo then misses a moonsault.  Jeff tries a sunset flip; but D-Lo grabs Jeff’s legs and gets the 3-count.  BROWN keeps the I-C belt with a 4:53 pin.

MATCH 9:  “ROAD DOG” JESSE JAMMES vs. “MR. ASS” BILLY GUNN in a dog collar match.  It’s catch-phrase time again, as I conjure up images of Pavlov’s road dogs.  Road promises to “beat the living [fecal matter]” out of Ass.  Billy is reluctant to put the collar on at first, saying it is beneath his stature as “the world’s greatest athlete”.  Dog clobbers Ass with the chain, and finally puts the collar around Ass’s neck (“ass’s neck”–is that an oxymoron?).  A series of chain-yank exchanges (or is that “exchainges”?)  Ass gets a 2-count.  Ass with stomps and feet to Jesse’s face; but his charge into the corner is met by a Road Dog fist.  Jammes tries a leap off the turnbuckle; but is the victim of a rompecojones.  Dog turns to boxing, and Muhammad Roadli follows the punching and shuffling with a 2-count.  After a couple more of those “exchainges”, Dog pulls Ass up, wraps the chain around Ass’s legs (another oxymoron?) and gets the 3-count.  ROAD DOG gets the pin in 6:18.  After the match, Ass hangs Dog with the chain by the neck outside the ring.  Dog finally recovers and reminds the ladies in the audience that he will be at Hurricanes (a night spot near BWI Airport) after the card.

MATCH 10:  HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY & “BIG SHOW” PAUL WIGHT & THE UNDERTAKER (with CHYNA & PAUL BEARER) vs. X-PAC & KANE & MANKIND.  Some weird stuff as the heels come out.  HHH comes out to his music; then the “Big Show” theme starts.  HHH tells the sound guy to “turn that garbage off”, or something like that.  As he begins to speak, the BS theme starts again.  Show comes out and stares at HHH.  As the Corporation’s “no chance” theme serenades the UT’s entrance, Bearer tells sound guy to shut that music off, and we finally get the Undertaker’s theme.  Bad night for the sound guy?  Or harbinger of dissension to come?  The heels insult the crowd.  HHH calls Doc’s nurses “skanks”, and says that he hasn’t seen Mankind in the building. He reminds the crowd that he was the one who put Mankind out of action with the leg injury.  Show says “The wind in Baltimore doesn’t blow; it sucks”.  Not the way to endear oneself to those girls at Hurricanes, to say the least.  As X-Pac and Kane come to the ring, they are attacked by the bad guys.  Then, for the first time in a few months, we hear the “Mankind” theme, and out comes Mick to the biggest pop of the night.  The match starts as the predictable [reproductive act of the cluster variety],l as Undertaker dukes it out with Kane, Big Show with X-Pac, and Mankind with Helmsley. Kane then turns to Hunter, as the others go to their respective corners.  Kane whips HHH into a corner but HHH knees him in the face and adds punches of his own.  Kane whips Hunter into another corner, and Mankind makes the hot tag, adding some rapid punches and plonking Helmsley’s head ten or so times into the turnbuckle.  X-Pac then tags in, delivering a spinning kick and back suplex on his former DX colleague. He moves in for the bronco buster, but Hunter moves.  Undertaker, from the outside, works on X in the corner.  Wight tags in to work on Pac, flooring him with a series of head butts.  He then throws him into a corner by the throat.  UT then takes over and gets the 2-count, as Kane makes the save for his tag-team partner. Hunter then puts the sleeper on X.  Pac elbows out but is met by a Hunter kick.  X hits another spin kick, and both guys are on the mat.  X-Pac recovers to deliver successive rompecojones to Show and UT.  Kane tags in and hit a top-turnbuckle flying body press onto UT.  Kane works on his brother as his teammates are taking care of business around the ring perimeter.  UT hits a ddt; but Kane pops right up and sets up UT for the chokeslam. Chyna throws a chair in the ring, and UT plonks Kane with it.  Referee Hebner calls for the bell and the disqualification.   X-PAC & KANE & MANKIND get the win by dq in 9:51.  The brawling continues after the match, with the good guys getting the best of it.  Mankind gets out Mr. Socko and uses it on both HHH and Big Show.  X-Pac finally does the horsey ride to HHH, and Kane chokeslams Undertaker.

As the fans start to leave, X-Pac takes the mike and welcomes Mick Foley back.  The departing crowd erupts into a “Foley! Foley!” chant.

The WWF returns to the Baltimore Arena on Tuesday, November 9, for a “Smackdown” taping.

WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 7/26/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: RAW opens with a look at photos of STEVE AUSTIN defeating THE UNDERTAKER at the PPV to make VINCE MCMAHON leave the WWF . . . THE UNDERTAKER destroys X-PAC and ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES in the back. Undertaker beats X-Pac all the way to the ring. KANE come out and fights with the Undertaker. THE BIG SHOW PAUL WIGHT comes out and it’s 2 on 1 against Kane. Wight and the Undertaker shake hands and leave together . . . VINCE MCMAHON arrives at the arena in a limo . . . during the break Kane takes X-Pac to the back and an ambulence takes X-Pac to the hospital . . . HARDCORE BOB HOLLY is the guest ring announcer for the EDGE & CHRISTIAN vs. THE ACOLYTES WWF WORLD TAG TEAM MATCH. Word comes during the match that KEN SHAMROCK was hit by a car. Easy win for the Acolytes. Holly announces himself as the winner and attacks both guys. As they’re destroying him, Kane comes out and destroys everyone. Kane gets on the microphone and says that he’s going to get the Undertaker and Paul Wight . . . Ken Shamrock refuses medical treatment. They show footage of the ambulence leaving with X-Pac. It passes Shamrock and someone backs into him. It’s STEVE BLACKMON . . . VINCE MCMAHON makes his way through the building and so does STEVE AUSTIN . . . Vince McMahon comes to the ring to say goodbye. Steve Austin comes out. He has JIM ROSS lead the singing of “na na na na, na na na na, oh hell yah, goodbye.” On the way out Vince flips Austin the double bird. Austin & Jim Ross share a beer . . . Vince heads to his limo. HOWARD FINKEL comes out to say goodbye after 24 years of service. Vince tells him off . . . VAL VENIS comes to the ring and tells off DROZ and PRINCE ALBERT. GODFATHER comes out followed by Droz & Albert. It’s a Hardcored tag team match. A fat guy in a white suit attacks Godfather outside the ring. Venis pins Albert . . . comments from ROCKY MIAVIA . . . BEN STILLER is in the crowd and they do a plug for his movie MYSTERY MEN . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY and CHYNA come to the ring and Hunter says that he can beat STEVE AUSTIN. Chyna calls out ROCKY MIAVIA. The Rock comes out and is attacked by BILLY GUNN from behind. The three triple team him and leave him down in the ring. He gets back up and says he’s not done. He challenges Gunn and Chyna to a handicap match tonight . . . KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER — match is thrown out when the Undertaker hits Kane in the head with a steel chair. ROAD DOGG tries to make the save but is taken out . . . JEFF JARRETT interrupts a DEBRA photoshoot to take her to the ring . . . Jarrett & Debra in the ring. BEN STILLER comes in. Stiller says that Debra’s Puppies are his favorite WWF Superstar. Jarrett attacks him and leaves him down in the ring. D’LO BROWN makes the save . . . Hunter Hearst Helmsly goes to Steve Austin’s locker room . . . WWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION IVORY heads to the ring. She asks any women in the crowd to come out. A woman does and gets destroyed. TORRIE makes the save . . . Helmsly leaves Austin’s locker room . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY vs. KEN SHAMROCK: word comes that Hunter destroyed Austin’s locker room. The ref. stops the match when Shamrock spits up blood . . . TEST in the back. He attacks PETE GAS of THE MEAN STREETS POSSE before being chased off by the rest of the posse . . . THE ROCK ROCKY MIAVIA vs. CHYNA & BILLY GUNN: Helmsly is color man during the match. Austin comes out and attacks him after Hunter attacks Jim Ross . . .

WCW MONDAY NITRO 7/26/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at STING defeating RIC FLAIR last week for control of the WCW and other “wonders” of last week’s NITRO . . . a MEGADETH video featuring BILL GOLDBERG . . . HOLLYWOOD HOGAN in the ring. He calls out KEVIN NASH. Nash come out with SID VICIOUS & RICK STEINER. They talk a bit then a fight breaks out and STING makes the save of Hogan . . . a recap of what just happened for no apparent reason . . . PSYCHOSIS & JUVENTUD GUERRERA fell to BOBBY DUNCUM JR. & KENDAL WINDHAM . . . country music star CHAD BROCK will be on NITRO in 2 weeks . . . MONA (the former MS. MADNESS) is complaining that she’s nothing now that RANDY SAVAGE fired her. MEDUSA comes out and says that it was GORGEOUS GEORGE’S fault that they both were fired. Medusa says that they’ll finish it with George tonight . . . VAMPIRO w/INSANE CLOWN POSSE vs. REY MISTERIO JR.: match thrown out when ICP attacked Rey. EDDY GUERRERO made the save . . . another recap of last week’s NITRO . . . VINCENT fell to STEVIE RAY. During the match BOOKER T kept BRIAN ADAMS from attacking Ray . . . Sting enteres Hollywood Hogan’s locker room . . . Sting comes to the ring. He introduces himself as president of WCW. Hollywood Hogan comes out he says that Sting can trust him. Stin will be his partner . . . JASON HERVEY is out to do color. I cringe. Hervey disses ARLI$$. He says he’s supported WCW from the begining . . . PRINCE IUKEA vs. LASH LERUX: RANDY SAVAGE destroys both guys. Savage wants Nash, Hogan or DENNIS RODMAN. Mona & Medusa come out. Medusa and Savage trade barbs on the microphone. GORGEOUS GEORGE is backing away from Medusa when she runs into DENNIS RODMAN. In the lamest moment in WCW history, and a recycling of stupidity from last month, Rodman kidnaps George . . . KISS will be on NITRO on Aug. 23 . . . Savage goes nuts backstage . . . GENE OKERLUND in the ring with BILL GOLDBERG. He wants a match with CURT HENNIG . . . EVAN KARAGIAS won over ERNEST MILLER by pinfall. Miller was stunned to discover that BUFF BAGWELL replaced his loaded shoes with bunny slippers . . . MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. STEVE REGAL: JIMMY HART & THE FIRST FAMILY come out and yell about Regal wanting the Hardcore title back (he’s being subbed in the storyline for FIT FINLAY, who is out with an injury). Regal defeats Whipwreck . . . DAVID FLAIR & TORRIE come to the ring. He says he’s gonna defend his title to CHRIS BENOIT all by himself .  . . Savage rescues George then goes to find Rodman. He finds him and Rodman throws a feather bola at him and locks him out of the trailor. Didn’t I see this on “Cops”? . . . a segment with SHANE DOUGLAS. He goes off on RICK FLAIR . . . BILL GOLDBERG over CURT HENNIG by DQ when THE WEST TEXAS OUTLAWS come in and try to attack Goldberg. The actual DQ comes when Hennig tries to bring a chair in the ring . . . a look at the history of the NWO . . . PATTY STONEGRINDER lost to MEDUSA . . . JASON HERVEY is to ERIC BISCHOFF what MATHEW was to BILL MCNEAL on “NEWS RADIO.” We’re talking full fledged man worship . . . SCOTT PUTSKI fell to SHANE DOUGLAS . . . DAVID FLAIR defeats CHRIS BENOIT in a WCW U.S. TITLE match when DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE attacks Benoit in front of ref. CHARLES ROBINSON for the pin set up. DEAN MALENKO makes the save. THE TRIAD takes him out. PERRY SATURN makes another save. SHANE DOUGLAS runs in as well . . . CHASE TATUM fell to RICK STEINER in a WCW WORLD TV TITLE MATCH . . . KEVIN NASH & SID VICIOUS vs. HOLLYWOOD HOGAN & STNG: no clue about this match. I didn’t watch. I didn’t care. I never wanna think about it again. I want to sue WCW to regain the time I spent having to fastforward through it. Let alone for Scott Hudson & Jason Hervey. Nash pins Hogan. Bill Goldberg runs in. RICK STEINER attacks him with a chair. The faces are down in the ring as we fade out . . .

AWF Charles Town 7/25/99 by Jeff Amdur (jefam@home.com)
Hundreds of wrestling fans descended upon the Charles Town Race Track in Charles Town, WV, on the afternoon of July 25 to witness the inaugural endeavor of promoter TYLER CATES’s American Wrestling Federation, which was highlighted by the crowning of the fed’s first heavyweight and tag-team champions.

Attendance at the free-admission show was estimated at 800 in the outdoor ringside portion, and I was told that a couple hundred more watched the proceedings from the air-conditioned racetrack clubhouse. AWF Commissioner: KEN STAUBS.  Ring announcer: RANDY WOODWARD from Q102FM.  Timekeeper at the bell: JEFF AMDUR.  Referees for the afternoon: MIKE DiMUZIO and JAMES McHONE.

Taking pictures at ringside: TIM WALKER.  Observed among the spectators were various other wrestling personalities:  Manager of champions BARRY CASINO; wrestlers RAMBLIN RICH MYERS, EARL THE PEARL, and HELL BILLY OTIS; and promoters CHRIS LASH of the APWF and DENNIS WIPPRECHT OF the MEWF.

MATCH 1:  RUCKUS (with AL BINO) defeated MIDD KNIGHT (with “PRANCIN” RICHIE STEVENS) and       STEVE CAMRY in a three-way elimination match.  Mr. Bino was heckled with chants of “Q-tip” throughout the match.  Midd eliminated Steve at 6:15 with a backdrop and a cover for the pin.  Then, at 8:25, with seconds Al and Richie occupied in another part of the ringside area, Ruckus hit a 450 moonsault onto Midd and covered for the pin.

MATCH 2:  WHATKIND (a.k.a. KATTRA) pinned RUSTEE FOXX in a ladies’ match in 7:49.  Whatkind, who could best be described as a f(ol)e(y)male, ended the match when she took out Ms. Sockette and applied the womandible claw to Rustee while pinning her.  A unique experience for a women’s match.

MATCH 3:  MORGUS THE MANIAC (with NURSE GRACE & MEDIC MAURICE) overcame being attacked before the match while he still had his strait jacket on to free himself from the shackles and apply the shock trauma to “HANDSOME” BEAU JAMES before pinning him in 3:27.  After the match, Nurse Grace got in the act by landing a haymaker that floored Beau.

MATCH 4:  TOMMY HAWK & D.O.A. pinned MASS DESTRUCTION (CHICK SCOTT & F.M.) in 10:32 to win the tag belts.  D scored the pin after a modified choke slam.

Intermission:  Polaroids in the ring with GILLLLLLLBERRRRRRRG!!! and YAWC.

MATCH 5:  YET ANOTHER WRESTLING CLOWN (I’m not going to jeopardize copyrights here) pinned LUCIFER, KNIGHT OF THE ROAD (with THE MISTRESS OF MAYHEM) in 12:22.  YAWC quickly got on Lucifer’s nerves by leading the crowd in chants of “[YAWC]!”, “dirtball!”, and “Lucy [inhales]”. After being threatened by ref DiMuzio with a fine, Lucy returned to the ring only to eventually be hit by a confetti bomb and the leg drop o’YAWC before being pinned.

MATCH 6:  JIMMY JANNETTY (with SAHARA & THE MASKED HOT ROD) became the first AWF heavyweight champion with a controversial pin fall victory over CHAD AUSTIN in 14:30.  The early part of the match had the faster Chad dominating, the later part had the stronger Jimmy prevalent.  The end came when Chad followed up a back suplex with a cross face submission hold.  At that point the ref was distracted by Sahara while Hot Rod went under the ring and found a chair there.  He plonked Chad with the chair and then put the chair back under the ring.  The ref turned around to see Jimmy covering for the pin, and the 3-count was made.  After the match, Jimmy and Hot Rod both stomped Chad to smithereens.  Hot Rod unmasked, revealing the familiar face of SWITCHBLADE underneath.  The pummeling continued, even after commissioner Staubs came to ringside and ordered it to stop.  The commish finally restored order and fined Switchblade $1000.

MATCH 7:  GILLLLLLLBERRRRRRRG!!! (with YET ANOTHER WRESTLING CLOWN) pinned FANG (with PIG VOMIT) in 1:16.  Fang and Vomit attacked Duane before the bell; but YAWC quickly removed El Barfo from the picture, and Gilllllllberrrrrrrg!!! took care of the inside-the-ring part with the spear, jackhammer and pin.

WWF FULLY LOADED 7/25/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: a look at THE UNDERTAKER attacking STEVE AUSTIN on Heat, resulting in Austin bleeding . . . VINCE & SHANE MCMAHON deny being behind THE UNDERTAKER’S attack on Austin. But Vince promises that Austin will lose the first blood match and won’t be the WWF Champion ever again . . . JEFF JARRETT defeated EDGE to regain the WWF IC TITLE . . . a doctor looks at STEVE AUSTIN and Austin storms to the ring and attacks Jarrett . . . BRADSHAW pinned MICHAEL HAYES to earn THE ACOLYTES the WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES from THE HARDY BOYS. Hayes put himself in the match to make it 3 on 2 against the Acolytes . . . comments from D’LO BROWN . . . D’LO BROWN defeated MIDEON for the WWF EUROPEAN TITLE . . . THE BIG BOSSMAN defeated AL SNOW for the WWF HARDCORE TITLE . . . special ref. “THE BIG SHOT” BOB HOLLY helped PAUL WIGHT defeat KANE. After the match X-PAC attacked HOLLY then THE UNDERTAKER & WIGHT destroyed X-Pac & Kane . . . Steve Austin attacks the Undertaker in the back and breaks him open . . . STEVE BLACKMON vs. KEN SHAMROCK — IRON CIRCLE MATCH: The iron circle is a circle of cars in a parking garage. There are wrestlers on the cars. First man to leave the circle wins. Shamrock gets the win . . . ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES & X-PAC defeated CHYNA & BILLY GUNN for the rights to the name DX when James pinned Gunn . . . HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY over ROCKY MIAVIA in a strap match with help from BILLY GUNN & CHYNA . . . THE UNDERTAKER vs. STEVE AUSTIN — WWF WORLD TITLE FIRST BLOOD MATCH: THE UNDERTAKER bleeds first after an attack by X-Pac with a steel chair compounded by being hit over the head with a TV camera by Austin. After the match McMahon tries to attack Austin but Austin puts him out with a stunner. Hunter Hearst Helmsly attacks Austin but is fought off by Rocky Miavia. Undertaker goes off on Austin with a steel chair. They brawl all over the place. Austin gets back in the ring, offers McMahon his hand. McMahon shakes it and Austin stunners him to send him out of the WWF . . .

WWF SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT 7/25/99
WHAT YOU MISSED: VAL VENIS over JOEY ABS when TEST stopped THE MEAN STREETS POSSE from attacking Venis . . . a history of DX . . . comments from DX . . . TERRI RUNNELS and MEAT get ready for his match . . . MEAT fell to THE GODFATHER. After the match Terri Runnels poured a pitcher of ice water down Meat’s trunks . . . comments from HUNER HEARST HELMSLY . . . GTV from RAW with the stars of MYSTERY MEN . . . it was announced that EDGE won the WWF IC title from JEFF JARRETT last night . . . CHRISTIAN over VISCERA when GANGREL spit blood in the face of Viscera to set up the pin . . . a look at the history between STEVE AUSTIN, VINCE MCMAHON & THE UNDERTAKER . . . The Undertaker attacks Steve Austin and makes him bleed as we cut to the PPV . . .

NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

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The Ring Report TV Update is published weekly on RSPWI. It is now available via subscription by sending a “SUBSCRIBE” message to ringreport@aol.com. We do accept tv & house show report submissions as well as column submissions (as long as the columns are short), and all should be sent to ringreport@aol.com.  All reports are (c) 1999 MAD DOG BYTES COMPUTERS and not for reuse or retransmission without permission.
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