7:38 PM
The long awaited Meeting Leo story:
Yesterday started for me at about 5:45 AM, I showered quickly and was out the door by 6:15 AM. Not exactly sure why I was going. I mean I’ve never been the biggest Leo fan in the world, it was a 5 hour drive and I could be working. But there are days when you just have to say the heck with it …
Got to Evil James’ house in Hershey by about 8:15 AM and we were on the road by 8:30. My little Microsoft travel planner software had us leaving at 9 am and getting there at around noon, so I figured that it would give us time to get lost or stop for breakfast. Wasn’t sure why Evil James was going either, since he doesn’t even have TechTV and had no idea who Leo was (other than a guy in the strip), but I didn’t really ask.
It was Sunday, we were having a road trip, it was going to be fun!
So the first leg starts and the route we were taking from his house was the route I had taken from Hershey to the Dillsburg, PA, area hundreds of times when I lived in the area. Even at 9 in the morning, I should have had the thing memorized. That’s when the comedy begins. I get off the highway earlier than I should, have to loop around to get back on, then get back off at the proper exit. Evil James is looking at me warily as this doesn’t bode well for the start of the trip. I mean, if I can’t navigate a route that I’ve literally done in my sleep before, how the heck was I supposed to navigate the far out roads near DC?
He really gets worried 10 minutes later when I do the same thing with another turn off.
I so don’t know where my brain was. Mind you, I worked until midnight and didn’t get to bed until 1 AM so I was a little out of it, but even on 4 and a half hours of sleep I shouldn’t have missed those exits.
Ride continues to Camp Hill then down towards Gettysburg. We consider stopping at the battlefield on the way back if there’s time. It’s funny, I lived 20 miles from it for about 8 years and have never actually toured it. Evil James just wanted to fill the rest of his roll of film after we got pictures of Leo with gravestone shots. We put it on the agenda for later.
We zip down 15 and next thing we know we’re in Frederick, Maryland. Then onto 270 and 495. Even with a 15 minute stop at a gas station for munchies, we’re making incredible time. We end up in the Fairfax area by about 10:30 and 2 and a half hours to kill before the signing is set to begin.
That’s when things go wrong. Oh, so wrong.
I will tell you this: the most demented people named the streets in Fairfax.
There’s a Fairfax Parkway.
There’s a Fairfax Place.
A Fairfax court.
A Fairfax street.
A Fairfax ave.
A Fairfax …
ALL IN THE SAME GENERAL AREA!
We trusted our Microsoft directions. It said to bear right off of the highway and ta-da, there we’d be … but no … we bear right and it’s a Fairfax strip mall with no sign of a CompUSA.
We drive in circles for a half hour bearing right, seeing every demented version of the insane Fairfax naming scheme that we could possibly can until the bright idea hits us — let’s backtrack and bear right — this time one light up from where we started.
That’s where the journey to the insane truly begins. We go down through anther insane Fairfax naming sequence, and I swear we enter the nexus of realities as Fairfax Parkway, the road we traveled on, intersected itself at a four way stop light. We needed to stay on Fairfax Parkway to get to where we were going, but god help us, we didn’t know which Fairfax Parkway to take. I mean what road do you take when all roads lead to Fairfax Parkway?
This is where Evil James turns to me and says “I shall kill all the Fairfaxes.” I so don’t know what he means, but it helped me to come to the conclusion: “When in doubt, keep going straight and pray. PS Evil James scares me.”
We continued on our journey through the insane world of Fairfax for another 2 or 3 miles. Evil James spotted a CompUSA sign on the left side of the road. It didn’t surprise us that the entrance to the actual CompUSA store was on the right side of the road. This was, after all, the most insane place I’ve ever visited.
We get to the parking lot, thinking that we’re bound to have spent at least an hour going in circles, and it’s only 11 AM. Our adventure through the unreality of Fairfax only lasted 30 minutes. This left us with 2 hours to kill … bad, bad, bad.
CompUSA is a huge store. I had never been to one before. As we were walking in we did notice people in TechTV T-shirts starting to set up and a far or two here and there. We didn’t think much of it and I personally thought Leo would get about 50 people and that would be that. We headed over to the Barbie software so I could find my niece the game she wanted for her birthday. We hatched a half baked plan that if Leo was bored, we’d get his opinions on Barbie software. And then we saw … the MACS.
I hate Macs. I really do. Never have liked them. Don’t like anything about them. Well, other than a friend had a power mac laptop with a yellow trackball with a smiley face sticker on it. That was really cool. Otherwise, I’d rather not see them or have anything to do with them. But, unfortunately, they were the only computers that were remote enough that were actually on at the moment that we can have fun with without a sales associate trying to sell us one.
The first machine we get to is an iMac. It looks cheesy and we start to see what’s on it. I see it has quicktime so I decide to see what movies they have on it … bad bad bad.
They say Macs are stable. They say Macs are easy to use. They say any idiot can run one. LIARS!
I clicked on quicktime and crashed the darn machine. Not just crash it, crash it so it looks like it’s dying. Evil James looks at me, I look at him and …
The next machine was a G4 something or other. Looked pretty spiffy. This time I ignored the quicktime urge and decided to figure out how to find what programs were on it. I clicked on file or something and a window with all the folders on the machine popped up. I noticed a folder that said “James’ MP3s.” Evil James looked at me, I looked at him, and we went for the folder. It was calling to us.
The folder had a ton of mp3s in it. Mainly techno stuff from the 80’s and 90’s. I played around with some b52’s and other stuff until we noticed the sole “Loud” song on the system: “Epic” by Faith No More.
I click it and … well the previous songs were pretty quiet. I didn’t know where the darn volume control was on the machine was but this song … well HEADS turned as it blared over the speakers. The two sales associates who were shooting the breeze a few feet over from us looked up with shocked looks on their faces, as if they were surprised that someone found their secret stash … that’s when Evil James and I exit stage right with the music playing in the background … 🙂
Still and hour and a half to kill.
We go to the bookstore that’s next door to CompUSA and chill for a while. Evil James finds a book and I find a book on storytelling in movie making. We kill a good hour at the bookstore before we decide to head over to the CompUSA again, thinking that we’d be first in line …
After dropping our bags off at the car we get to the store and see that the line stretches from the very back of the store where the signing is going to be held to the doors at the very front of the store. We were literally the last people in the building before the line went out the door. This was with 30 minutes to go before the signing even starts.
A great looking teenage girl in a techtv shirt was passing around sign ups for drawings and it was funny to see all the computer guys try to make small talk with her. She was a cutie, that’s for sure, but I think she intimidated a lot of the guys in line.
Line starts moving after 30 minutes of waiting. The drawings begin but we’re so far back that the announcements sound like the school teachers on Charlie Brown. Evil James and I consider talking like that around Leo but quickly put it aside.
About 30 minutes later we’re actually near Leo. That’s when we realize that neither of us have anything planned to say to him. I mean we can’t do the Barbie thing, we can’t do the Charlie Brown thing, Jim doesn’t know enough about Leo to make small talk and there were too many people with cameras around to do anything weird. That’s when it hits me — we actually are going to meet Leo. You know, that guy from TechTV. That guy I poke fun at here. That guy I just dissed for doing the duck walk … that guy I just put on a body of a … oh dear god.
Suddenly, I’m next.
Thankfully that’s when people from CompUSA decide they need to get Leo’s autograph. I get one of the ladies who was in charge of the line to take Evil James’ camera to get a picture with all three of us once it’s my turn.
After 3 or four guys, with a lump in my throat, I make my way forward and …
Leo says “Hi, what’s your name?”
I mumble “James Knine, from Reallycool …”
… and his eyes light up! Instead of hitting me or going “who?” he looks at me and does the Wayne and Garth bow from Wayne’s World!!!
LOL I remember introducing Evil James and seeing that there’s a LOT of people watching. We make small talk and he says he loves the site, I thank him for not mentioning us on the air because it would kill the server, he laughs and says he knows and that’s why he hasn’t (I DO mean thank you on that one — I pay for bandwidth!!!). We get a picture that probably has Leo with a big smile, Evil James looking evil, and me with a dazed look on my face.
I quickly say goodbye as Evil James is already making his way out of there and then it hits me … OMG, Leo reads my site and knows who I am … wow. Then OMG, Leo READS MY SITE AND KNOWS WHO I AM! AND HE BOWED AT ME! AND … LOL OMG! OMG! OMG!
Oh man. Somewhere on the way out we stopped and got the Barbie software for my niece and I stopped being so spaced out and was myself again. We noticed that the line was still way out the door as we left the building. Back at the car, I called a friend on my car phone and she didn’t believe that the line was that long. By then my heart stopped pounding and I was able to make even more incredible time on the way back to James’ house.
Got back to Evil James’ house and after going out for food and to find my mom a birthday present, we got back in time to see his Chargers lose, my Seahawks lose, and the Bears win an incredible game in overtime. Somewhere my best friend was doing backflips. 🙂
Got back home in time to see the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees and the day ended late by going back to work for a bit and then to sleep … and that was my day.
Big thanks to Evil James for going with me and even more thanks to Leo for being so great. Had a fantastic time and would do it again. 🙂
Take care all,
k9