It was so much easier when we were kids and a breakup meant never ever seeing the person again. It was easier back then. Especially with internet dating. You break up, they vanish and that was that. You could harbor whatever feelings you had because the likelihood of running into them again once you hit the block button was almost nil. (Unless they were a psycho stalker or something, but that’s a different case and rant.)
In the modern age, or maybe just with me, I try to maintain friendships with the exes. In most cases, it’s not out of lingering doubts about the breakup or anything it’s because I have too few regular friends out there and it’s hard to find lasting ones. The breakup doesn’t have to be the end of the friendship, though it does mean you have to be prepared to get kicked in the head, stomach and genitals as that person moves on with their life.
That’s something that happened last week. In the worst possible time and very publicly I found someone had moved on. Just a headache and heartache I didn’t need during the most stressful week of my life. I could drive myself crazy thinking about it, and frankly, I was pissed off at the world for a couple of days there but now I have to realize that if this is what she wants, then that’s that. It doesn’t matter what I think since I agreed to the breakup in the first place.
But that’s life. We all get hurt and we all do stupid things. The breakup with her was probably the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. We were good together. Could have had a future together as well, but it was something little that became big and that was that. Now she’s moving on and I should be happy… but I really have to work on that.
Here’s to old loves, emotions and going back to sleep.
Too damn early for drama.
–Jim