A little bit later and I’m so screwed up. Lately my body thinks that it’s time to change the clocks. I’ve been waking up exactly an hour early and getting extremely tired about an hour before I normally do. It’s three weeks until we change the clocks and I’m so not a morning person, so lol, this is getting odd. Way odd, if you ask me.
Right now I’m choking back tears. I’m screwed up that way too. When I was in my early teens it was drilled into my head that men don’t cry. Ever. Period. So I stopped crying.
I used to love crying. When I was 12 or 13 I’d be alone in my room and I’d work myself up into tears and then take a nap afterwards. It just felt so good to wake up after getting it all out of my system. I kind of miss that. It was a private little thing, far better for me than developing an eating disorder or a drug problem I guess.
I think I’ve cried twice in the past 20 years. Once when Wonderdog died (long story) and I shed a tear seeing the flag flying high over Williamsport after 9/11. As messed up as I was, I didn’t even cry at my grand mother’s funeral. I was the oldest male grandchild (of 5), and the only male representative of my side of the family since my dad was too screwed up to make the drive. I held things in and tried to be a role model for my cousins, who were all so much younger than me and who were having a horrible time dealing with it.
Sometimes I’m just numb to things or just too stupid to get the fact that I should be reacting normally to things by crying. I don’t cry out that often either. A few years back I had a sty on my eyelid. They gave me an injection in my eye to numb it. Huge needle. I just sucked it up and was patient until it was over. Afterwards the doctor wanted to know if I was all right because most patients scream during that shot. Had I known it was okay, I probably should have screamed my head off. LOL.
9/11 seriously screwed me up. I get choked up over sentimental things now. I’m listening to Bruce Springsteen’s “My City of Ruins” and I could be bawling now. Seriously. Anything sentimental, anything with people joining together and being good to each other does it. I feel like Deputy Andy on Twin Peaks (let’s see if anyone gets that reference), but I don’t sit here blubbering, I mean my voice will crack, I won’t shed any tears and I’ll be fine after a minute or two. Seriously weird, seriously screwed, that’s me.
I’m speaking out on a lot of stuff in my latest strips. I’ll probably go more topical for the rest of the season. I tried to offer balanced perspectives but sometimes it’s hard when I feel so strongly about things. I’ve backed off on making the president an idiot. Obviously he was smart enough to become president, so that’s something going for him that I’ve yet to achieve. However, selling out and using the army for personal things is a running theme. Leo using the war for personal gain goes back to the guy in NY last week who was arrested for wearing the Peace T-shirt. A lawyer, mind you. He’s probably counting the money he’s going to make from the lawsuit, rather than the test of civil liberties he faced last week.
Martin and Michael Jackson was just plain fun to do. I’d never photo shopped that much before. I had to make it seem plausible that Martin and Michael were together while still using the little kid’s body. I think I did a half decent job on it even though Martin’s hair changes with ever panel. That boy needs a good haircut or at least something that stays in the same place so I can @#$@ing Photoshop it. 🙂
There’s a method to my madness with the Morgan stuff and the latest stuff with Mike Tyson. Hopefully this will be a season you come back to. I mean there’s 32 people who read my strips. That’s it. I think of those 10 are bots. I still hope the TechTV folks are reading. I have no way of knowing, but if you’re out there and you like the site, hey, let me know. I’m not really a hermit on top of my mountain. Drop me mail.
With that, I have to work in 10 minutes.
k9