I had three dreams last night that I remember:
1) I was a wrestler in the WWE who was paired with hottie women’s wrestler Lita in an angle where she was secretly cheating on her real life boyfriend. It lead to an affair between us in the dream and she had to choose between me and him. She chose him but we made out anyway.
2) I was dropping off fliers for some reason at an ultra hip new barber shop/salon. He asked about my barber, I said the barber’s name, he asked if that guy was still alive. He started tempting me with his ultra advanced shop. How I could do this and that to my hair and it’d look so much better … and I was about to give in when the dream shifted to …
3) I was in high school again. Two new students that had nothing to do with each other transferred into class on the same day. One of them was a congressman’s son who was talking on a cell phone. The other was Kirsten Dundst. Yes, I’m supposed to have been over that crush but she looked so much hotter in my dream. She sat behind me and class went on. I knew the cell phone kid to be an asshole. He got a call during class and actually shushed us to be quiet. When the teacher tried to do something about it, he threw money at him. I got pissed off and called the guy an asshole and he glared at me then stomped out to the hall.
The new girl, sitting behind me, started crying. She was his girlfriend. She moved from school to school with him. She didn’t want to be in the relationship any more but she had no other choice. I don’t know where the dream went from there. It was Kirsten Dundst, she was talking to ME and I was falling in love with every word. There was a fight with the guy and she kissed me and ended up leaving with him and I woke up …
See any patterns here?
Watching the Republican spin on the Iraq situation. Nope, it’s not FOX News, it’s CNN and it’s Donald Rumsfeld explaining that we’re not going alone, that we have a TON of countries backing us. Trouble is they’re either countries we’ve never heard of, countries we’ve “liberated” and are heavily funding, or they’re just pathetic little countries that we’ve set up to be on this list. Honest to god, I think he repeated the same country 3 times in his list.
They’re looking for funding. They want us to pay another $87 BILLION to bail out Iraq. He keeps saying it’s about terrorists and rooting out terrorists. Hitting the terror word. He needs a plate in front of him like us Catholics do it. Start up the music and pass the plate around. Don’t stop until it’s full. Hell, put on dancing girls and have them strip for America! I mean if we’re prostituting everything to get money out of America (and the rest of the world) there should at least be a compelling floor show!
I just think we should have had 3 questions answered before we started the sexual activity known as the invasion of Iraq:
1) How much effort it will take to get off
2) How long it will take to pull out
3) HOW MUCH IT WILL COST!
It’s like my “frugal” friend Kevin Adams of Hershey, PA going to the Chicken Ranch in Las Vegas (once he has the breakdown), he needs a break down of all the prices and has to haggle before considering any activity. Then borrow money from all of us to afford the 5 and a half minute event. He’s the richest friend I have but he’ll have blown his wad of bills on the blackjack table.
I think all casinos should be computerized they should keep track of every gambler by name and how much they’ve won or lost. That list, along with PICTURES of the gambler, should be available on gambling sites on the Internet. Then we should be able to place bets on each one and how much money they’ll win or lose at the casino.
YOU’D MAKE MONEY BETTING ON KEVIN TO LOSE!
Hell, my friend Evil James makes more money at casinos then Kevin does and all he does is drink and slots!
By the way, the idea is patent pending. You can buy it off of me for $5,000,000. That’s $5,000,000 up front, U.S. currency only, I’ll do a happy dance immediately and the only effort you’ll have to put into it is give me the money.
You’ll make your money back in 3 hours of betting on Kevin to lose!
k9