Winding down before my first nap on Christmas Eve, quietly happy that this year is ending and we get a new start in just a week.
This has been a pretty crappy year. I know I always say it, but that’s more of a default statement rather than a serious declaration of angst. This year though… yeah. F it, I’m miserable.
The year started strong, it lead up through a pretty good summer (adding Romeo helped keep me sane), but the back end just went wrong. The job I didn’t get, the best friend acting totally insane this week and I’m sitting here alone on another Christmas Eve, trying to deal myself hours to sleep before working the holiday away.
I always blame myself for this stuff. A friend told me I was Atlas last night, with the weight of everyone’s worlds resting on my shoulders, unable to move and doing what I can to stay sane without everything crashing down on me. I don’t know about that but I do know that I’m positioning myself to try to make some changes in the new year.
I pause to watch my Seahawks self destruct against the 49ers. One more game to go, but that’s a different rant for a different time.
It’s now been three months since I had my last fast food meal. I’m still eating crappy food, I’m just not getting it from a chain restaurant. I haven’t lost any weight and I can’t say it’s been life changing, but I need to keep up with it until my birthday since that’s the vow I’ve made. It’s getting harder with all of the changes and deals at fast food places lately. Burger King changed their fries for goodness sake and I’m really curious to see if they’re as crappy as everyone says they are. Taco Bell is changing their menu too soon and I drool and I dream and I make my own food at home now.
Tonight we had burgers with spinach dip and arugula. Sure it wasn’t a whopper, but it was a good change to keep me going. I’m kind of getting burnt out on subs, which I allow myself, so I’m already turning to sauces and combos to find good replacements to what I’ve lost. Earlier in the week I was frying onions in a different type of sauce and seasoning potato circles with cumin just for a flavor change up. My goodness, what have I done.
Come the first, I want to do three months of the NFL’s “play 60” motto. I’ve been totally inactive this year and I’ve ballooned up. I’m going to try to use Kinect on days when I’m not on the treadmill to be active for 60 minutes a day. I really don’t know if it’s going to make a difference but I have to make a change since I’m tired of being this big and I’ve got to break out of the patterns that got me here.
I’m not doing the dance game, I’m not doing the dance game, I’m not doing the dance game…
Oh god.
Happy whatever.
I’m out for the night.
Jim