I was horribly depressed this weekend. I don’t get depressed a lot. I try to avoid bringing everyone down. I don’t know why I went though this phase, but I broke it off Monday morning by going out and spending an extended period on the woodpile. Then I came in and obsessively redesigned a monster spreadsheet for work. Spent most of Monday on a single spreadsheet, don’t know what came over me.
So the birthday comes and it sucks. To me 33 was always a bigger birthday than 30. I’m not much into birthdays, well I’d be into birthdays if I weren’t always living in a remote area of the world where birthday parties are near impossible, so I always work on my birthday. Last year I had to stay up until midnight to change a poll for college football. That’s right, under threats of being fired if the poll didn’t change, I waited up to do my job then was thankful that the day was over.
This year? This year was going to be different. Well I had hoped anyway. Other than Stef and Evil Jim, then later my best friend, no one remembered. Even close friends signed on, said hello, didn’t mention the birthday. I felt like Molly Ringwald for most of the day. That’s not something I’m prone to doing. Got the usual presents from my folks — 2 games that my mom threw at me — receipt still in bag — on her way in from buying them then Chinese food for dinner. I mean damn, I’m not one to bitch but I’m bitching and it sucked.
Plus 33. 33 is the year everyone died from the generations before me. Belushi was a big one. Hendrix. Mama Cass. Jim Morrison. All legends growing up all died on or near 33. The fact that I’m entering this shining year — and entered it so stupidly (and yes, things like forgetting to tell Stef my new # and then not leaving my cell phone on when I knew she was probably going to call was just my own stupidity), just makes me feel down. I’m not going to linger since I’m one day into my new year and I won’t let the start ruin the whole thing.
It rained this morning. Not buckets, but just enough to make the ground soggy. I don’t have to go out there and do wood. I’m going to unpack one of these games and take the morning to myself. Start the 2nd day right.
k9