Okay, so I’m in World of Warcraft (WoW) on my holder character tonight. A level one dwarf. I use him at the in-game auction house (a sort of ebay lite for game money) since I got into a debate last week with a guy who subsuqently bad mouthed my main character everywhere for what he said was “price fixing” (yes, in an electronic game).
My holding character is named “Spazpants,” and like most of my blow-off characters, I role play him a little bit. Roleplaying in itself is a lost art in these massively multiplayer games. People just don’t do it. They’d rather treat it like a first person shooter like ‘Doom.’ They get frustrated and bored when people *try* to roleplay so most people don’t.
Anyway, my Spazpants is role played as a level 1 who is lost in the city. He’s hanging around the auction house because he has no way of getting home. He’s a rube, a country bumpkin and the only redeeming thing I can say about the character is that he picks the most beautiful girl in the game (or around him at the time) and bows before her (beauty) before logging out.
Tonight, mind you — being high on cold pills — I brought Spaz in. Someone was advertising female strips offs for a gold piece. Yes, they wanted to have a contest for female characters (90% of which are played by guys), to take their in-game clothes off and dance around for money. Of course, only guys showed up and most of the guys had no problems taking their clothes off for free! Go figure.
I found one character by the bank who claimed to be a “real girl” and promptly disrobed. She was dancing around in her underwear and I stared and stared and stared for a whole three minutes before I realized that if I really wanted to see this (and I hadn’t shelled out any money), I could just create a female character and make her do this whenever I wanted to.
That’s when Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s ‘Relax’ came on my mp3 player. That’s it. I need help. I’m watching computer girls dance around in their skivvies. Worse yet, to naughty 80’s songs (Duran Duran’s ‘Rio’ before that was bad enough). I need to get out of the house. I need companionship of the female variety. I need to stop saying likes like “of the female variety” out loud. I’m a freaking geek and a pervert now, I guess.
I fell in love with Natalie Portman again last night. Watched ‘Garden State’ and she was on the director’s commentary. I didn’t fall in love with her (or brought my crush back) because she was swimming in her underwear in one dynamic scene, I think I brought the old crush back because she was so goofy on the commentary. Almost as nuts as I am, and that’s saying something.
Wonder if she has an older sister.
Oh well, I’m going to hit some nyquil now and go to slumberland.
OH NATALIE!
— k9