So a second blog while I’m in a writing mood. It’s 3AM, the “hey, you’ve slept 2 and a half hours already so you need to be up for 8 now” has kicked in and I’m sitting here trying to make myself active enough to realize I’m sleepy and can sleep until 7AM. I know, good luck with that. I’m actually working on a schedule to lock myself in my bedroom for X amount of hours at a time where I can, so I can get back to at least 5 hours away (if not asleep) at a time.
Yesterday was the first day of reduced soda intake. It didn’t go as well as I had planned. Yes, I kept it to one soda for the day (probably won’t be repeated), but I was a moody mess all day and really didn’t mean to alienate anyone. It’s years of undoing a lifestyle I’m used to. I’m not making pie in the sky promises here. I’m not saying I’m going to stick to this. I’m just doing what I can to make a change and see what happens.
A friend suggested climbing stairs to help get in shape. I do have a manual stairs machine I can use, but with that, and treadmill, the whole thing is to keep myself distracted from the monotonous task ahead of me. I have a hard time shutting my brain down, that’s why I’m prone to “stupid man” sort of injuries on workout equipment and need constant video streaming as I do treadmill. I can’t see a way where I’d be on the stairs for any longer than a handful of minutes at a time. So we’ll see where this goes, if I can get the equipment to work after a year of the cat napping on it, blah to the blah blah.
In other news, we still have no word on when my father is actually coming home. They’ve deemed him too well to stay in the full time care program at the hospital. They’ve given no other details than that nor have they come up with a plan for sending him home or providing nursing care. They did suggest putting him in a private adult living facility, but his insurance won’t cover it, the VA won’t cover it, and it runs about $2k a month. I figure if mom and I go without heat, electricity and food each month we might be able to cover the costs of that but… yeah. There’s no way around it. He’ll be home for the holidays.
To every one of the minuses and believe me, caring for a sexagenarian with dementia is chock full of them, the sole plus will be that he’ll be home for the holidays and we won’t face the awkward “well, are you working or seeing your father today?” issue. I haven’t seen him for a lot of reasons, including that I just needed a break after 20 years of his illness, but the six hour trip (2 there, 2 with him, 2 back), is killer to my work schedule and killer to my schedule in general. Yes, it’s selfish and it’s terrible and having him home would make me less jerky, but not by much. I know, I’m dealing with it on my own terms.
I don’t like it, I don’t like myself for it, and we’ll see what happens as this plays out.
The dog is up for another 3:30AM walk in the rain. I think I’ve convinced my body it’s time to try another nap.
Jim