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The Ring Report TV Update Vol. 1, No. 15 June 13, 1993
(the wrestling report for people confused by the “new” WCW)
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“I still have to find an establishment where I can buy crumpets,
it’s rather appalling . . .”
— “LORD” STEVEN REGAL from WCW SATURDAY NIGHT
WWF NEWS BITS
Before a stunned crowd in Albany, NY, last Sunday night SHAWN MICHAELS used outside interference from the man formerly know as the WCW’S “VINNIE VEGAS” to regain the WWF INTER-CONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP from arch-nemesis MARTY JANETTE. With Michaels’ title win his match with CRUSH at KOTR was declared by WWF President JACK TUNNEY to be his first title defense . . . THE UNDERTAKER may be out of action following an attack by MR. HUGHES and GIANT GONZLAS this week which saw HARVEY WHIPPLEMAN’S men dent the Undertaker’s urn by smashing it into his head . . . THE 1-2-3 KID turned down RAZOR RAMON’S offer of $7500 for a rematch . . . THE STEINER BROTHERS & TATANKA proved too much for MONEY INC. & DOINK on an ALL AMERICAN WRESTLING best two-of-three falls match; in the two wins for the Steiner’s team RICK STEINER pinned TED DIBIASE . . .
WCW NEWS BITS
Fans are calling it the most unholy team since PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY united THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE as COL. ROB PARKER and HARLEY RACE announced that SID VICIOUS and WCW WORLD CHAMPION BIG VAN VADER have formed a team known as “THE MASTERS OF THE POWER BOMB.” In a promo aired on most of the WCW’S shows this week they also announced that they are going to be tag teaming against STING and DAVEY BOY SMITH at the BEACH BLAST pay-per-view later in the summer . . . A mysterious caveman has been spotted in the crowd of recent WCW events; he’s rumored to be a new wrestler named “BONGO” . . . and, finally, a JOHNNY B. BADD rematch has been signed for THE CLASH OF CHAMPIONS card this Thursday night . . .
WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW 6/7/93 by IAN WINOGRAD
What you missed: SHAWN MICHAELS vs. THE UNKNOWN PRELIM.: Shawn came down with his “insurance policy” and then yelled at McMahon! They locked up and Shawn gave nameless an arm bar and then did his basic moves to win! . . . ADAM BOMB vs. TITO SANTANNA: Bomb punched Tito then gave him a power bomb and won . . . TATANKA vs. PETER WREEKS: Tatanka does his moves and beats Wreeks! . . . Lawyer does the Kings Court with Yokozuna! . . . BILLY GUNN and RICK STEINER vs. IRS and FATU: Fatu and Billy Gunn traded suplexes. Billy tagged Rick. Rick body slammed Fatu. Rick threw Fatu into the corner. Fatu tagged Irwin. Rick tagged Billy. Billy jumped on Irwin’s arm. IRS hit Fatu by accident and the other Head Shrinkers got angry at Irwin but Irwin gave Afa some money and Afa ate it and all was peaceful. Rick gave IRS a headlock and then Irwin pinned Bart . . . RAZOR RAMON INTERVIEW: All he said is how he is now offering The 1-2-3 KID $7500 to get back in the ring with him and how he is going to beat up Bret “the Hitman” Hart! . . .
WCW POWER HOUR 6/12/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE COLE TWINS lost to VINNIE VEGAS & BIG SKY; the match ended when one of the Coles had Vinnie pinned and Big Sky snuck in a massive leg drop behind the ref.’s back to reverse the situation . . . RICK STEAMBOAT defeated JOE CAZANA . . . SHANGHAI PIERCE lost to DUSTIN RHODES . . . PAUL ORNDORFF pinned REX COOPER . . . a replay of last week’s “WHERE’S CACTUS?” segment . . . SID VICIOUS crushed SCOTT MCKEEVER . . . TEDDY LONG looked at RIC FLAIR . . . and a replay of THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES losing by DQ to TOO COLD SCORPIO and MARCUS ALEXANDER BAGWELL . . .
WWF MANIA 6/12/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: BRET HART beat PAPA SHANGO by submission . . . a new King’s Court featuring YOKOZUNA . . .a replay of the mixed tag team match from MONDAY NIGHT RAW . . . a profile of THEMIS “THE RAW GIRL” KLARIDES . . . a KOTR report; nothing new . . . MR. HUGHES and TATANKA wrestled to a double DQ when both men attacked the ref.; after the match Hughes squashed Tatanka with a choke slam . . . and a second King’s Court featuring JERRY LAWLER attacking HOWARD FINKEL during a “celebration” of Finkel’s birthday . . .
WCW SATURDAY NIGHT 6/12/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: JOHNNY B. BADD defeated PAUL LEE: before the match THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES came out and claimed that there was a “conspiracy” in the WCW to put them against THE HORSEMEN . . . it was announced the Badd will face MAX PAYNE at THE CLASH OF CHAMPIONS on June 17 . . . THE MASKED ASSASSIN came out again and ranted about DUSTY RHODES . . . BARRY WINDHAM squashed DAVE DUNLAP . . . an interview featuring “LORD” STEVEN REGAL and “SIR” WILLIAM DUNDEE . . . a promo featuring SID VICIOUS & BIG VAN VADER as “THE MASTERS OF THE POWER BOMB” . . . this week’s “WHERE’S CACTUS?” segment featured CATHERINE WHITE interviewing CACTUS JACK’S wife . . . THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES wrestled a prelim. match; after the match the Blondes jumped RIC FLAIR & ARN ANDERSON during an interview in the dressing room . . . the team of STING, DAVEY BOY SMITH, and DUSTIN RHODES defeated THE WRECKING CREW and DICK SLATER when DAVEY BOY pinned FURY . . .
WCW WORLD WIDE WRESTLING 6/13/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: RICK RUDE destroyed DAVE DUNLAP . . . a look at SCORPIO & BAGWELL vs. THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES from last week . . . VINNIE VEGAS & BIG SKY defeated ROB MORGAN & TJ MAVERICK . . . a cave man was spotted in the audience . . . JESSE VENTURA interviewed MAX PAYNE . . . Payne defeated TA MCKOY . . . a replay of this week’s “WHERE’S CACTUS?” segment . . . BARRY WINDHAM wrestled a prelim. match . . . a replay of “THE MASTERS OF THE POWER BOMB” promo . . . and ARN ANDERSON defeated BRIAN PILLMAN in a match where RIC FLAIR and STEVE AUSTIN were barred from the ring when Austin, disguised as a cameraman, attacked Anderson . . .
WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING 6/13/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: MIKE SHARPE and MARK LEROUX lost to THE STEINER BROTHERS . . . an update with GORILLA MONSOON on SHAWN MICHAEL’S win over MARTY JANETTE for the WWF I-C BELT . . . RAZOR RAMON defeated BERT CENTINO . . . JIM DUGAN defeated a prelim . . . BONNIE BLACKSTONE interviewed YOKOZUNA and MR. FUJI . . . GIANT GONZLAS and MR. HUGHES attacked the UNDERTAKER after an Undertaker prelim. match . . . a KOTR report; nothing new . . . a promo for MEN ON A MISSION, AKA “MOM,” a new rapping tag team . . . and MONEY INC. defeated TONY ROY & BUDDY LANE; after the match THE STEINER BROTHERS came out and challenged them to a match for the belts . . .
WWF ALL AMERICAN WRESTLING 6/13/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: a replay of SHAWN MICHAEL’S prelim match from MONDAY NIGHT RAW . . . LEX LUGER defeated MIKE “NO RELATION TO THE GWF’S MANIAC” DAVIS . . . the replay of MOM’S PROMO . . . THE STEINER BROTHERS & TATANKA defeated MONEY INC. & DOINK in a best 2 of 3 falls match; the first fall ended with RICK STEINER pinning TED DIBIASE; the second fall ended when DiBiase pinned RICK; and the match ended when RICK power slammed DiBiase for the win . . . a replay of the attack on THE UNDERTAKER . . . BONNIE BLACKSTONE interview BRET HART . . .
WCW MAIN EVENT 6/13/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES did an interview then destroyed TERRY TRAVIS and KEITH HART . . . THE COLE TWINS defeated THE GERMANS . . . RICK RUDE pinned LARRY COREY . . . “LORD” STEVEN REGAL defeated THE ITALIAN STALLION . . . THE JUNKYARD DOG defeated BOBBY EATON by DQ when DICK SLATER interfered . . . and ARN ANDERSON & RIC FLAIR finished things off with an interview . . .
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING featuring contributions by LORNE WHITE USWA SOUTHERN CHAMPION BRIAN CHRISTOPHER suffered a near disaster as USWA promoters brought in THE UNDERTAKER to challenge him for the title; he and his 5 – 8 favorite bad guys got a DQ to keep his title last week . . . “PRETTY” PAUL ROMA is set to start tag teaming with ARN ANDERSON . . . I’m not putting total faith in the rumors that the WCW won’t do live shows during the month of July; in my area the next WCW show is set for July 11 at a local high school . . . then again, sources say that the WCW won’t return to Philadelphia until 1994 . . . another source says that they’re going to cut live shows to 200 a year and rely heavily on taped shows from Universal Studios for the summer . . . THE PREDATOR, AKA MIKE BOLLEA, is getting a second chance with the WWF . . . BEAU BEVERLY is out of action with a back injury; while SCOTT STEINER is sad to be wrestling with a knee injury tonight at KOTR . . . BONGO THE CAVEMAN, YASHIQUEN, THUNDER & LIGHTNING, and an unnamed VAMPIRE are said to be coming to WCW . . . ROD PRICE had to have 200+ stitches put into his head following his hair weave loss to CHRIS ADAMS; in brighter news, Price is said to be on his way to the WWF after SUMMERSLAM . . . the say that THE MOUNTIE will be back in the WWF in SEPTEMBER . . . don’t be surprised if you see GIANT GONZLAS back in WCW by the end of the year . . . HARVEY WHIPPLEMAN is rumored to take over management of ADAM BOMB from JOHNNY POLO ASAP . . . finally, long time WWF personality RICK MARTEL is said to be making ANOTHER comeback to the federation . . .
NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
I don’t know what the heck is going on with the guys in charge of the WCW these days. They seem to have “bad taste” in mind with everything they’re attempting. From the ridiculous Van Vader/Sid Vicious promo to BONGO THE CAVEMAN, the WCW is doing more to keep me away from WCW broadcasts than BILL WATTS did by sticking ERIK down our throats every week.
I say hire DAVID LYNCH (of “TWIN PEAKS” fame), to direct the promotion’s TV broadcasts if they’re going to continue down the abstract road of Universal Studios promos. Imagine: THE BLACKHARTS are unmasked to reveal that they really don’t have faces under those masks; a real life “WHERE’S WALDO?” featuring still pictures of CACTUS JACK hidden in biker bars and strip clubs from various spots in Cleveland; SID VICIOUS vs. “VODKA” VAN HAMMER in a decapitation death match; or the log lady (probably played by BABY DOLL), managing DUSTIN “THE LUMBERJACK” RHODES to the WCW WORLD TITLE! It may be weird, but it certainly would show more imagination (and worse taste), than their current streak of promos and idiotic plots . . .
Well, I’ll end things by welcoming LORNE WHITE to the ranks of the ranks of the undead known as the crew of the RING REPORT; he’ll be helping out with the Gossip segment as the Mad Dog takes some time off to visit the mental inst . . . err, find Cactus Jack . . .
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
MADDOGJMF
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