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The Ring Report TV Update Vol. 1, No. 16 6/20/93
(The Ring Report for the endless masses who hate a guy named Evan)
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STUPID WRESTLER TRICKS
PAUL ORNDORFF announced this week that he has renamed RON SIMMONS “RHONDA” SIMMONS . . .
WWF NEWS BITS
THE STEINER BROTHERS became the third tag team in history to have held the WWF and NWA World Tag Team Titles last Monday night by defeating MONEY INC. Unfortunately for the Steiners, their first title reign ended two days later when Money Inc. regained the belts. Notice the word “first,” it’s significant since the Steiner’s SECOND title reign started last night in St. Louis.
YOKOZUNA defeated that HH GUY last week to start his second reign as WWF WORLD Champion. After the match he and MR. FUJI announced that they would celebrate the victory on July 4 by holding a body slam challenge on the deck of the USS INTREPID. The challenge went out to any American Sports star.
IN SHORT NEWS: BASTION BOOGER premiered this week by losing to VIRGIL and by squashing OWEN HART . . . the rematch between THE 1-2-3 KID and RAZOR RAMON will take place tomorrow night on MONDAY NIGHT RAW . . . I noticed that THE UNDERTAKER’S urn had dents in it LONG BEFORE MR. HUGHES smashed it over PAUL BEARER’S head; in related news, Bearer is indefinitely out of action.
WCW NEWS BITS
THE MASTERS OF THE POWER BOMB seem to be taking their match with STING and DAVEY BOY SMITH in stride. This week they’ve taken up injuring prelims and TOM ZENK & JOHNNY GUN. It seems that this big duo actually get along with each other; unlike Sid’s role in THE SKYSCRAPERS years ago. If only they’ll take on THE COLE TWINS . . .
IN SHORT NEWS: It looks like ARN ANDERSON & PAUL ROMA will face THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES for the WCW/NWA World Tag Titles at BEACH BLAST while BARRY WINDHAM will defend his NWA title against RIC FLAIR . . . YOSHI QUAN premiered as a prelim; he’s a karate expert . . . KATHERINE “DON’T CALL ME DONNA GAGNE” WHITE didn’t find CACTUS JACK in CLEVELAND; more details as her “WHERE’S CACTUS?” segments continue . . .
CLASH OF CHAMPIONS 6/17/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: things opened with an announcement that PAUL ORNDORFF won’t wrestle due to a groin pull . . . RON SIMMONS wrestled DICK SLATER instead of ORNDORFF and won anyway . . . MARCUS ALEXANDER BAGWELL lost to LORD STEVEN REGAL when Regal used the tights for the pin . . . MAX PAYNE called out JOHNNY B. BADD in an interview; he said that he’d give BADD his BADD BLASTER back, then promptly shot Badd in the face with it . . . TOM ZENK came out to save Badd and ended up brawling in the ring with Payne . . . BARRY WINDHAM used a leaping DDT to beat TOO COLD SCORPIO . . . SID VICIOUS, BIG VAN VADER, and RICK RUDE defeated DUSTIN RHODES, STING, and DAVEY BOY SMITH when Rude pinned Rhodes . . . RIC FLAIR and ARN ANDERSON defeated THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES in two straight falls when BARRY WINDHAM attacked Flair during the second fall; PAUL ROMA crashed the attack and the show ended with the HORSEMEN fighting with The Blondes and Windham . . .
WCW POWER HOUR 6/19/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: BLACKJACK MULLIGAN was replaced by LARRY ZYBSZKO as cohost this week . . . a replay of ARN ANDERSON defeating BRIAN PILLMAN when STEVE AUSTIN, disguised as a cameraman, entered the ring . . . BARRY WINDHAM defeated TOMMY ANGEL . . . TEDDY LONG looked a BEACH BLAST and replayed last week’s promo . . . MAX PAYNE defeated TA MCKOY . . . RICK RUDE defeated DAVE DUNLAP . . . and THE COLE TWINS lost to VINNIE VEGAS and BIG SKY . . .
WWF MANIA 6/19/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: JIM ROSS announced that YOKOZUNA and MR. FUJI would hold a body slam challenge on JULY 4 on the deck of the USS INTREPID . . . TITO SANTANNA and BOB “EVAN” BACKLUND defeated THE HEAD SHRINKERS on a reversed decision when THE STEINER BROTHERS came to ringside in protest of one of the somoans pinning of Backlund when Santanna was the legal man . . . a promo for the replay for KOTR . . . a promo for MOM . . . a replay of the latest $10,000 challenge from RAZOR RAMON to the 1-2-3 KID and an announcement that the KID would wrestle Ramon on MONDAY NIGHT RAW . . . LEX LUGER wrestled a prelim. match . . . MARTY JANETTE and DOINK wrestled to a time limit draw . . . RANDY SAVAGE interviewed SHERRI MARTEL . . .
WWF SATURDAY NIGHT 6/19/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: THE MASTERS OF THE POWER BOMB (MOPB) killed some prelims . . . FURY OF THE WRECKING CREW defeated MARCUS ALEXANDER BAGWELL . . . a new promo for BEACH BLAST . . . a new promo for “WHERE’S CACTUS?” . . . a new FLAIR FOR THE GOLD featuring ROB PARKER. . . DAVEY BOY SMITH defeated TONY ZANE; after the match THE MOPB came out, STING came in, and nothing really happened . . . LORD STEVEN REGAL defeated DAVEY RICH . . . PAUL ROMA pounced on a prelim . . . and RICK STEAMBOAT defeated PAUL ORNDORFF by DQ when DICK SLATER attacked Steamboat; RON SIMMONS saved the day . . .
WCW WORLD WIDE WRESTLING 6/20/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: DAVEY BOY SMITH & STING defeated THE WRECKING CREW the typical “WHERE’S CACTUS?” replay . . . RON SIMMONS over TONY ZANE . . . a replay of this week’s BEACH BLAST promo . . . RICKY “THE DRAGON” STEAMBOAT defeated YOSHI QUAN . . . the usual replay of A FLAIR FOR THE GOLD . . . TOMMY GUNN & TOM ZENK were squashed by the MOPB; after the match the MOPB squashed a ton of prelims . . . things ended with a MOPB interview . . .
WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING 6/20/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: video footage of YOKOZUNA being presented the WWF WORLD TITLE belt . . . THE SMOKING GUNS defeated TWO GUYS NAMED EVAN . . . another KOTR post-event update . . . BASTION BOOGER lost to VIRGIL . . . TATANKA pinned MIKE BELL . . . an update on THE 1-2-3 KID . . . LEX LUGER destroyed PHIL APOLLO . . . an update on THE UNDERTAKER in which they announced that PAUL BEARER is indefinitely out of action . . . CRUSH defeated JOEY TEMPEST . . . a promo for MOM . . . and ADAM BOMB nuked a prelim . . .
WWF ALL AMERICAN WRESTLING 6/20/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: the same opener as SUPERSTARS . . . BASTION BOOGER defeated OWEN HART . . . ADAM BOMB nuked that same prelim . . . GENE OCKERLAND announced that THE STEINERS won the WWF World Tag Titles last night in St. Louis . . . CURT HENNIG defeated TJ WALKER . . . a promo for MOM . . . DOINK pinned BOB BACKLUND; after the match Backlund went to shake Doink’s hand and the clown squirted him in the eyes with a toxic substance . . . TITO SANTANNA defeated BERT CENTINO . . . an update on THE UNDERTAKER . . . and THE HEAD SHRINKERS wrestled a prelim match . . .
WCW MAIN EVENT 6/20/93
WHAT YOU MISSED: a recap of MAX PAYNE’S Badd Blaster Bashing of JOHNNY B. BADD . . . RICKY STEAMBOAT squashed CHICK DONOVAN . . . a look at BARRY WINDHAM’S attack on RICK FLAIR at the Clash of Champions . . . DUSTIN RHODES pinned YOSHI QUAN . . . MAX PAYNE defeated a prelim . . . and BOBBY EATON & DICK SLATER vs. THE JUNKYARD DOG and RON SIMMONS went to a double DQ . . .
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING featuring contributions by “SIR” LORNE WHITE
The big news this week is the continued rumors that my favorite HH GUY is leaving the WWF after he finishes out his signed matches; is anyone surprised about this? He leaves every year at about this time . . . KATHERINE WHITE is rumored to be DONNA GAGNE . . . THE NEW HEAVENLY BODIES are feuding with SCOTT & STEVE ARMSTRONG . . . the WCW has issued a new steroid policy . . . rumor has it that VINCE MCMAHON is interested in getting TOM ZENK to join the WWF . . . it looks like TED DIBIASE will tour with NEW JAPAN before entering the WCW after SUMMERSLAM . . . AKIO SATO was apparently that crazy guy with the exploding camera at KOTR . . . THE HELL RAIDERS are still the IWGP champions; they recently defended those titles against HAKU and THE EARTHQUAKE . . . CHRIS BENOIT won the New Japan Super Jr. Title in a tournament final last week . . . if THE NASTY BOYS return to the WWF expect them to have a new manager . . . OLE ANDERSON is in hot water for making sexist comments on the WCW Hotline . . . ROD PRICE has reportedly signed a 2 year deal with the WWF . . . BRIAN CHRISTOPHER may be WWF bound . .. JERRY LAWLER and JEFF JERRETT were spotted in the new MICHAEL J. FOX movie “LIFE WITH MIKEY” . . . and MITCH “THE PIT BULL” FEROTTE is expected to slam YOKOZUNA in two weeks during the body slam challenge . . .
NOTES FROM THE MAD DOG
Strange goings on around MAD DOG Central this week as I’m in pain (recap: nah, it’s not worth being accused of being mentally unbalanced again), IAN is off to Summer Camp, and Lorne has a new nickname. Oh yah, there’s wrestling news too . . . that HH GUY apparently quit and the STEINERS are/aren’t/are the WWF Tag champs . . . I think I’ll just crawl back under my rock and wait for the end of the world; or for DUSTY RHODES to announce his return to the ring . . .
HAVE A GREAT WEEK,
MADDOGJMF
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